>be me. >have no luck with women. >always rejected. >eventually I learn to live without women or wanting sex

>be me
>have no luck with women
>always rejected
>eventually I learn to live without women or wanting sex
>years pass
>things going okay
>meet a woman at work
>don't really pay much attention to her
>polite conversation turns into something more
>she engages with me
>I feel 'connected' to someone for the first time in years (conversation isn't draining, but energizing), look forward to our interactions
>we make each other laugh constantly
>start to feel a small flicker of hope inside
>let myself fantasize about what life might be like with someone around
>start to believe maybe things will get better
>maybe I really have grown and now I am ready
>work up the courage to ask her out
>she politely says no
>start to relive every rejection over the last 20 years since puberty
>feel utter defeat and hopelessness
>intrusive thoughts begin
>you don't deserve sex
>you're just a sexless loser
>memory resurfaces of the time my best friend in high school asked out this girl that liked me, but I was too nervous to ask out and she said yes. Where I was stuck as an awkward third wheel all of high school
>become aware that he got to experience teenage sex and love with the a girl that I knew liked me and I liked her
>they had sex
>start imagining them having sex
>it's emotionally painful
>become hard
>jerk off

I am at my lowest point. I have the gun next to my keyboard and I can't see a single reason not too. I want to die, I WANT OUT OF THIS SHIT LIFE
PLEASE HELP ME

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >>I feel 'connected' to someone for the first time in years (conversation isn't draining, but energizing), look forward to our interactions
    You found something bro. It didn't work out but its possible. Imagine how good it will feel when you find it and get to wake up to it every single day. If you give up now you'll never find her. Don't give up.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'm kind of hope posting with you by the way. I'm a 28 year old friendless virgin so probably know how you feel more than most. I just don't want to give up until I'm really completely out of it.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Take the magazine off, loose the bullet that's in the chamber, get off NSFFW and look into a hobby.

      You connected with someone. Relationships are all about that, you'll probably get lucky eventually if you're just a decent person. Really ugly people do, horrible people do. You just have to find a way to not hate yourself enough to have a nice day and eliminate every chance.

      Shit can and will suck, but we don't give up. I know you got it into you to do it because someone already liked you and you already connected more than once.

      I wish you the best, anon

      It took 34 years to find one. How long do I have to wait to get another chance? Another 34 years? I'm tired, I have tried. I have put in the effort. It has never worked. I need an argument as to why I should keep suffering on the off chance that maybe I might get a little relief at some indeterminate point in the future. When I can get immediate relief from my suffering right now and forever

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I ultimately cannot convince you of anything. Your decisions are yours anon.

        It took 34 years for you to find out it was possible. Are you telling me you'll spend an other 34 years going through the motions instead of chasing hungrily? I understand being tired, burnt out and wanting an out, but...

        Do you know it's for sure an out? Death is the ultimate mystery and it's final. Life is mysterious but so much can happen, and you can influence it! There's nothing to do about death, except achieving it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Do you know it's for sure an out? Death is the ultimate mystery
          It guarantees that something will be different and that is enough. Maybe I will wake up in 6th grade and I'll have the chance to live my life differently maybe I could fix it if I had one more chance

          How did you manage to make it through school and work for all these years being so mentally ill? Did no one ever suspect anything or say anything to you about it. You sound like a really weird guy
          Oh yeah don't have a nice day, did you ever try medication, something for anxiety maybe

          >How did you manage to make it through school and work for all these years being so mentally ill?
          Because no one cares.

          >did you ever try medication
          yes. like 12 of them. My psychiatrist said the only thing left to try was electro shock and at that point I knew he gave up, so I just stopped taking any meds

          Don't do it anon. This could be it for all you no. The bottom of the pit. The point of greatest resolve you need to overcome. You've suffered this long. You are strong and are capable of plowing forward into the unknown. Just think of the joyful tears when that day comes. And with one pull of the trigger that future is gone forever. I'm sorry I'm not very good at this stuff. I just don't want you to give up.

          >This could be it for all you no.
          I hope so, my greatest fear is that I'll live again.

          >The bottom of the pit. The point of greatest resolve you need to overcome
          It's not. It only gets worse. It always gets worse. Life is a downward trend. Even if there are bright spots where things get better that always ends and it's always worse than ever. The truth is life starts bad and gets worse.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >"I hope so, my greatest fear is that I'll live again."
            >He doesn't know how to enter NG+
            lol

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            If you want to do it, there's genuinely no argument that will stop you.

            I personally don't think that the change is necessarily enough to make killing yourself worth it. It's too much or a gamble and if we're crazy we could say maybe death by suicide makes you relive every single worst moment in your life. Why risk it? Do some shit you enjoy, and if you enjoy nothing then that's a different issue, find something you enjoy. Depression kills your pleasures, so start to fight it. Your symptoms may not improve if you're doing the same thing, you don't just needs meds you need someone to challenge your principles to your core, that's therapy.

            If all this doesn't work when you try and keep trying, for one last push, then I assure you that you'll have found at least one thing that makes it worth it, for minuscule it might be.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            This is messed up shit anon. Here is the thing: if you are ready to give up your life - why not start something new? I know it hurts but there are so many things in this world. And many paths to take. I suggest you go to church and turn to Christ.
            If you feel like you are a wretch and lost then this is the perfect thing to do. You will find a community and maybe even a wife. Just turn away from all sin, especially people at church will listen to you.
            However go to a fundamentalist church where everything is taken seriously. I started visiting a Reformed church a year ago and converted after going there for many months, and seriously its the best thing I ever did. If you want to loose your life, why not give it to Christ? Thats the only way you will get it back.

            Btw. Death by suicide leads to an eternity in hell. Dont. Do. It.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Don't do it anon. This could be it for all you no. The bottom of the pit. The point of greatest resolve you need to overcome. You've suffered this long. You are strong and are capable of plowing forward into the unknown. Just think of the joyful tears when that day comes. And with one pull of the trigger that future is gone forever. I'm sorry I'm not very good at this stuff. I just don't want you to give up.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Don't do it. No one gives a frick about male suicides. You aren't accomplishing anything by this.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >When I can get immediate relief from my suffering right now and forever

        Soldier. Your duty is to punish the oppressors!

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Damn bro don't have a nice day with a 1911, at least use a cool gun like a revolver or a beretta

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Don't. Live on to spite others. Good luck.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >You found something bro. It didn't work out but its possible.

      >theres someone out there for everyone

      then why are so many men dead?

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Regrettably I can't tell you anything that could make anything easier for you. I just would like to let you know that you are heard.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Take the magazine off, loose the bullet that's in the chamber, get off NSFFW and look into a hobby.

    You connected with someone. Relationships are all about that, you'll probably get lucky eventually if you're just a decent person. Really ugly people do, horrible people do. You just have to find a way to not hate yourself enough to have a nice day and eliminate every chance.

    Shit can and will suck, but we don't give up. I know you got it into you to do it because someone already liked you and you already connected more than once.

    I wish you the best, anon

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I know you got it into you to do it because someone already liked you
      yeah but she didn't, that's kind of the whole point of the post

      >>I feel 'connected' to someone for the first time in years (conversation isn't draining, but energizing), look forward to our interactions
      You found something bro. It didn't work out but its possible. Imagine how good it will feel when you find it and get to wake up to it every single day. If you give up now you'll never find her. Don't give up.

      >You found something bro
      yeah but again, he didn't. that's also kind of the whole point

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How did you manage to make it through school and work for all these years being so mentally ill? Did no one ever suspect anything or say anything to you about it. You sound like a really weird guy
    Oh yeah don't have a nice day, did you ever try medication, something for anxiety maybe

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's over, he's gone. Damn. RIP OP.
    There is a lesson somehow in all of this. What can we learn from OPs wasted life?

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >>be me

    you built up this fantasy in your mind of what being with a girl is like. It's nothing like you imagine. Theres a honeymoon period where you think now life is perfect and then it ends.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >become aware that he got to experience teenage sex and love with the a girl that I knew liked me and I liked her
    >they had sex
    >it's emotionally painful
    same thing happened with me except fate happened and they broke up and now im with her
    as good as its all been our time together is consistently undercut with the burden of knowing where she was before i got here
    if i could find it within me to let this go i feel like id be fully happy and i honestly blame my time on here and the site mentality overall for her history meaning more to me than being just history

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >our time together is consistently undercut with the burden of knowing where she was before i got here
      what a fricking drama queen

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        this shithole led me to mentally overvalue purity

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >this shithole led me to mentally overvalue purity
          this women will leave you if you keep thinking like a fricking woman

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >inb4 UR A KEK BRO LMAO UR GETTING TABLE SCRAPS HAHAHA SLOPPY SECONDS
            im actively purging that moron shit from my system as much as i can
            i just want to be happy

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >im actively purging that moron shit from my system as much as i can
            >i just want to be happy
            bruh i talked to a girl when i was sixteen who was hooking up with guys since she was 10. And she'll never tell you, the guy she wants to get with this shit. Just assume every woman is former prostitute or pornstar, then you can make judgements on other aspects.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >this shithole led me to mentally overvalue purity

          COPE.

          Exclusivity is what makes you special. Being ok with someone that you like being rough fricked in the past is nearly equivalent to her being fricked by another guy in the future.

          Think about it logically. You're ok with her being ffricked from April 2015 to may 2023 but not from that date onward-. Does that make sense?

          You're either ok with your gf being fricked by other guys regardless of time or you're not ok at all.

          That's the same cope as being ok with 8 guys cumming inside her and her telling 8 guys that she loves their dick but not okay with some other higher number.

          It's like saying that you're ok with eating 6 spoons of another mans semen but you draw a line at 7 th spoon.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      idk anon alot of girls these days would drop and leave everything behind if it meant getting back together with their first ex

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Thanks everyone for posting. I had a big cry and feel a bit better. I'm going to go lay down and decide whether I'm going to check out or not. Either way, it's been real.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why do other people have success and relationships while you don't. There's something different, you have a problem. If you try hard you will improve yourself and make life awesome.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It's not his life that needs improvement it's just his mind. He had a girl in hs who he liked and who he knew liked him back and instead of giddily and happily going for her he was nervous and someone stole her. He finally found another woman he connected with and instead of just asking her out he fantasized about her first and had to work up the courage, as a grown ass man. Then he ruminated about all his past rejections and failures, how is that not going to make anyone depressed. Culminating with jerking off and posting a picture of a gun threatening to kill himself. I'm not a psychologist but it sounds like he has a lifelong pattern of anxiety, fantasizing, reliving the past, and intrusive thoughts that's been fricking him over all his life. Don't know what it would be labeled as or how it's treated but he is mental

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Men like you got exactly what you wanted

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Kill your friend first

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Uh actually feds I was kidding haha

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    just found out a girl i was talking to just recently got a boyfriend a couple hours ago.
    shit honestly fricking sucks dick man but the only thing you can do is move forward and try to find something or someone else.
    If you think about it, there's no point to suicide because you guarantee that you'll never find affection from someone else ever again.
    meanwhile if you continue trying to live you at least have a shot at regaining what you lost and more.
    you only lose by giving up completely
    good luck anon

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