>be no sex before marriage. >Have gf for 2 years heading towards marriage

>be no sex before marriage
>Have gf for 2 years heading towards marriage
>Driving her home and she says since we are getting engaged she wants to have sex
>I keep asking she's sure and she says yes.
>Start making out and I start taking my clothes off
>She starts yelling at me why I would agree if I was really about no sex before marriage and my religious convictions
>She starts crying and kicks me out

What do I do from here I just want to die and feel like such a failure? She already broke up with me and says I need to get help and to come back to her when I do.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    it was a shit test. and you failed it. she didn't actually want to have sex with you she wanted to wait for marriage with you like you always said. she was testing if you would say yes to sex with girls. other girls. she now thinks you have had sex with other girls.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I mean she doesn't want sex even after marriage clearly from that reaction so, he's in a no win scenario.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    explain it to her from whatever gay religious angle will make her happy
    if ur baptists just say that you believe god is gracious and forgiving and that your convictions in fact didnt falter at all, and that you have no questions that you'll marry her so it makes no difference to you whether you do it now or next year since its set already in your mind

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      wow, that is perfect.

      There isn't any real way out of this for you, OP. The true answer is that she acted as temptress, and she cast judgement upon you, so she is very sinful. I don't know if you even should go back to her. She manipulated you.

      I would take this from the perspective of 'it is 100% over'.

      If she truly said "come back to me when you have gotten help", I would call her or send her a letter saying something along the lines of:

      >You tempted me to break my vows to God, and then when I decided to do so because of my love for you, you accused me of having no convictions for God and you judged me as being unfaithful. I believe that God will forgive me because I believe in him and I love him. I would love to try our relationship again, because I forgive you for lying to me and saying that you wanted to have sex in order to test me. But perhaps it was not meant to be.

      But bear in mind that women in particular HATE being rationally called out on misbehaviour. So it is probably all over OP.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I tried calling her but she's not answering so I ended up texting her something like that

        She's traumatized by religion and probably grappling with her sexuality. Ask yourself if you really want marriage sp badly or if it's just an expectation of the older people in your life, and if you decide you do like marriage ask yourself if your ideal wide behaves in a way that makes you feel like shit for expressing yourself.

        >Ask yourself if you really want marriage sp badly
        I do want to marry her, we have the same values and beliefs. I was the one who always wanted to wait til marriage so I don't know why I folded this time. It really didn't make sense

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You dodged a bullet. Normal people don't make such "tests".

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      True of that specific test maybe, but relationships are full of tests. Expecting otherwise is folly.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She's traumatized by religion and probably grappling with her sexuality. Ask yourself if you really want marriage sp badly or if it's just an expectation of the older people in your life, and if you decide you do like marriage ask yourself if your ideal wide behaves in a way that makes you feel like shit for expressing yourself.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >wide
      Wife. Sorry, ham handed tonight

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like the only reason you're "no sex before marriage" is because she is forcing that. Which sounds like you need a better girlfriend. Those women who put the pussy on a pedestal before marriage, leave it there after marriage.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She is autistic or schizophrenic. Obviously mentally ill. You are lucky she flipped out before getting married, otherwise you would have become another divorced moron paying alimony.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Dodged a bullet.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I just thought that everyone is saying how sinful she is and she shit tested him, but what is also true that there are no perfect people and if he breakups with her it's not guaranteed he will find any other girl, especially if you want only virgin one. He will have to go trough a traumatic breakup and probably will end up alone forever.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    FRICKING KEK I hope this is real. Holy shit. Imagine being this b***hmade.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I guess you have 3 choices:
    1. Go to some church and talk to someone about it for a few weeks and then go back to her
    2. Start from scratch and wait another 2-3 years before getting laid
    3. Abandon saving sex for marriage and go get some pussy
    But it's only gonna get harder and harder to find a religious virgin woman who's saving themselves for marriage as time goes on, so you better decide.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She sounds like a used-up prostitute who got involved with Christianity through an ex boyfriend and now she acts like some kind of born-again-virgin as if that cancels out her past of whoring around.

    Don’t sweat it, OP. I guarantee she would’ve thought lesser of you if you had denied her sex. She probably would have felt inadequate and hopped on the nearest wiener in order to validate herself. I’m being serious, women these days are fricking insane and impossible to read. I personally wouldn’t sweat it.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why do so many women have mental issues? Swear to god every woman I talk to is on some depression medication.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      With the current state of things it's logical to be depressed. If someone is content in life I assume they're not paying attention or don't care.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    okay you need to smoke weed together or something. hard to find good stuff though

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You both sound fricking moronic, perfect for each other

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You did waver in your convictions, so she wasn't exactly wrong to break up. Her reaction might have been excessive, but I can't fault her for having strict dealbreakers that she doesn't think are worth discussion.

    However, she was wrong to make a test out of it. Tests like that are inherently dishonest, and WILL lead to a breakup if either party is serious about their beliefs. Either you accept the offer, and she throws a tantrum, or you don't, and you should dump HER for not sharing your values.
    And the sad thing is that in the latter case, you could very well be a match, but her dishonesty would have broken that trust for no reason but her insecurity.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just tell the silly girl that it literally wouldn't matter if you both got married. Marriage ceremonies are just to officially declare what God has already set in your hearts, so just tell her to calm down and you'll wait until after the ceremony if it's important to her.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Disregarding the (moral) law because you think feelings alone are enough is a recipe for disaster, because it makes the behavior of the good indistinguishable from the unprincipled. Both will claim noble intentions while acting on impulse.
      Shitty people obviously won't mark themselves for others out of the goodness of their hearts, and they're also unwilling to accept personal restrictions.
      It falls to good people to set themselves above and apart, and the most effective way to do that is by accepting formal restrictions on behavior.

      That is, not only doing the right thing, but also giving the appearance of doing it.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Adam and Eve never had a ceremony. Christ pointed directly to them as the model for marriage (Mathew 19 he there directly states what marriage is quoting Genesis "for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh" then adding "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What God has put together let no man put asunder."). And lastly, to really make my point, in Genesis 29 you can also how Jacob was married to Leah because he had sex with her. This again shows that marriage is bond made that should be honored not a ceremony.

        Secondly for OP to come crawling back to his wife and beg her forgiveness would be an overt sin (not sure if mortal or not). A man is supposed to be the head of the woman like how the church is to be the head over the man, and God the head of the church. If he submitts to her he will set a bad precedent for the marriage. What happens when she says he needs to "get help" every time he does something that bothers her?

        They both love eachother, they've known eachother for years, so she needs to decide if she really trusts OP is sincere when he says he wants to marry her or not. If he was sincere it broke no "moral law" (is within the will of God more importantly). Besides even if it were a moral error she needs to still trust that it was simply a mistake brought by his love for her. Telling him he needs help and post poning the wedding shows she needs to learn respect for the man she intended to marry.

        Sorry for the long post it's hard to condense all this down.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          One more thing to add. Tell her lying is a sin. For her to play the moral highground after having lied to you is ridiculous. Tell her she needs to repent.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Adam and Eve never had a ceremony.
          Sure, and people who claimed to have "rediscovered" primordial innocence and superseded moral requirements have plagued Christianity for centuries. In the past, they were rightly suppressed as socially dangerous heretics.

          I'm not interested in a theological debate. I'm just saying that ignoring concrete standards doesn't work when you actually apply that thinking. People always want to believe their motivations are good, but that's a fast track to egotism, where people reason in circles and assume that they're good, therefore their motivations and desires are good--so they can do whatever they want. Do you think it's just a coincidence that society is so atomized and individualistic now, at the same time as its moral foundations are crumbling?

          >Besides even if it were a moral error she needs to still trust that it was simply a mistake brought by his love for her
          She's not obligated to stay with a guy she doesn't want to. The entire point of dating is that she CAN walk away without consequence. And as far as reasons for breaking up go, moral weakness is a pretty good one. Whether it's a "mistake" on his part is beside the point. If she doesn't want a guy who does such a thing, that's the end of it.
          As I said, I don't condone her methods. She shouldn't have acted dishonestly. But given what she knows, she is under no obligation to disregard what she learned.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >"Do you think it's just a coincidence that society is so atomized and individualistic now, at the same time as its moral foundations are crumbling?"
            >"She's not obligated to stay with a guy she doesn't want to. The entire point of dating is that she CAN walk away without consequence. And as far as reasons for breaking up go, moral weakness is a pretty good one. Whether it's a "mistake" on his part is beside the point. If she doesn't want a guy who does such a thing, that's the end of it.
            As I said, I don't condone her methods. She shouldn't have acted dishonestly. But given what she knows, she is under no obligation to disregard what she learned."
            That aside. I never said she had to stay with OP. Just that she needs to decide if she trusts him or not. If she trusts him she will realize this is dumb and just marry him. If she doesn't she'll break it off. Saying "You need help" is just cope. She needs to make up her mind does she trust him or no.

            Religion aside it's common sense no relationship can last if the partners don't trust eachother (which God is the one who gives us common sense so religion isn't completely aside even here).

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    There is an 80% chance she pulled this shittest, because she is having sex with someone else, and wants an excuse to break it off with you.

    If she immediately gets into another "relationship" they where already having sex before this shittest.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    holy shit lol bullet dodged
    god tier save anon, well done, too bad you missed out on the sex though, would've been nice to at least get something for those two years

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >marriage
    ngmi

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    she cheated on you and fricked someone else, and you gave her the perfect excuse to leave you lmao

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