Coming up on my mid-30's, I really regret not dating.

Coming up on my mid-30's, I really regret not dating. I always wanted to be "better"(losing weight etc) (and then start dating, but I regret doing that and not trying as I should have, or just trying in general. Are things still salvageable, or is it over? This also means I'm inexperienced with women, etc.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Don't get me wrong, I like women, was interested in dating. I just felt like I wasn't good enough or lived anywhere with a sizable population(and social scene)that made being able to find someone easier and more possible. I just thought I needed to be better, nothing wrong with that, but in between getting to where I wanted to be, I should have still tried more. I didn't see myself as a worthy partner, because I didn't and still don't have my life together, so it was always "someday", and now I regret waiting and wasting time. Even though I wasn't as secure or happy with myself, maybe I could have tried a bit more.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      frick, this is me right now, except im 20. i dont even know what to say

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      frick, this is me right now, except im 20. i dont even know what to say

      like, i have very minimally used dating apps, even though a majority of people are on them, because i dont like the way that i look. im planning on starting a strict skincare regimen, losing anywhere from 80-100 pounds, and a bunch of other little touch-ups here and there, but overall even at the fastest i could possibly imagine this process going it would still take me at least a year to get to where i would want to be. and thats without any delays/setbacks/plateaus etc. im already in my third year, this whole "not going on dating apps or pursuing people until im perfect" thing would mean i could literally only start actively going for people at the tail end of my last year of school, but by then it doesnt even matter and is too late. but i cant stand the way i look right now and dont want to embarass myself on there. i just dont know what to do really

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I just thought I needed to be better,
      yea i know the feeling
      i was always looking at what i brought to the table, and what would make me a good boyfriend, and decding to upgrade that / work on myself.
      then suddenly i'm 28 and single with no path to not being single, all my friends are married, all their friends have already been paired off / are engaged, and i see women in public with total shitstains of men. i should've just started while i was like 21 and i would've probably fallen into a relationship by now. the economy and career stuff was important but now i'm just another lonely guy approaching 30 with a house and a car and a decent job but no social life other than my nerdy friends.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >my friends are married
        Dont worry, either them or their wives will get a divorce, its 21st century

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I regret not going to clubs, bars, concerts, social events, etc like I should have. I wasted my 20's on other things, and that was trying to get to a better place in life but that didn't work out. It was always something I wanted to do, and wanted to get started on.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      idk anon, I always was too anxious to go to clubs and similars so I avoided them completely

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Same, but I never went to clubs or anything like that. They weren't really my thing and I liked bars/dives a lot more when it came to being around others. I didn't do it a lot, simply because I find shame in being someone that's at a bar or club everynight, especially at my age. So that ties into the regret, having options that are there, but not taking them.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >I didn't do it a lot, simply because I find shame in being someone that's at a bar or club everynight, especially at my age

          But why OP? I am planning to be sitting alone in bars/clubs when I am in my 30s no doubt. I am looking forward to it. But I am good looking (moderately, dont hate me for this).

          I completely wasted my youth as well, I didnt hook up or frick around but not because I didnt want to, but rather it was much more comfy to stay at home and do nothing while playing video games; and overstretching my stay/time in 2 super looong relationships that lasted for literally years with 2 girls I liked, but didnt really love (for different reasons each). But they did sure love me. Now I am 29, turining 30 this year, and I am planning to re-start my education (getting a second bachelor) just in order to experience my lost youth just one more time, once again.

          So, dont despair. Do you think I am stupid? I worry of course about it, but my prospect of banging much younger girls, my only last chance is now, not later, so I am also fully aware of it as well. Godspeed and good luck OP with your future endeavors.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You had relationships.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. Sure. Still. I didnt frick around or anything really. Relationships, especially long ones, teach you a lot about women, but I have never ever released my wild self out there. Now I have to battle the insecurity of being 30+ at uni in some European city.

            You still have a lot of time ahead of you. Go to uni or college. Go to dancing classes. Try to own it instead of being hopeless about it. Watch some childhood cartoons, smoke some weed, play some warm and cozy games. Have a long, long walk and be honest with yourself. What do you want? Do you want it really hard? Will you suffer for it? Are you going to go the distance after your goals, after what you truly want? Are you ready to give it all you have? Be honest with yourself. If the answer is NO, then dont bother reminiscing about it.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You only think you wasted your youth if you put it in perspective of an extrovert. People are dying or killing themselves in their 20s, that's what I think is a waste of youth.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          i recommend good club / edm events, i have had better luck than just bars i would say lightly.. it takes some of the requirements off the table
          i remember i have no idea how i met / talked with this girl at a music show in a cool club, but we made out the whole show and she was drunk as hell and agro.
          parties are good you will get some looks there and maybe or maybe not will be too fast to capitalize
          but edm shows, drum and bass, house, two main genres, have been hopeful for me - one time i was just with my 2 friends and the girls in front of us were openly inviting me and a friend to freak/butt dance with them. i was not in the right place to initiate, approach, etc, it felt more like a task that i have prejudice/fear/stuck about

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I had people I was acquainted with that went to those edm events, even they told me I wouldn't like it. I think I wouldn't either, I'm not into doing a lot of drugs and flailing around like I'm having a 'tism attack.

            [...]
            And this guy is 100% right
            You can go to the Bar 5 days a week if you wanted to and some people DO do that. When I was in my 20s there were Friday nights when I said “nah I want to stay in and watch a movie” instead of going out and socializing. Yes it was My choice and yes I enjoyed the choice I made. But I can’t sit here at age 32 saying “frick frick why didn’t I go out on Fridays in my 20s??”

            Exactly, my thing was never being at one every night, just when I wanted to go out and have at least some form of socialization. Here, it's all boomer bars that play Jimmy Buffet constantly.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Where I live now it’s all boomer bars so I get it. I can go and mingle with 50 year olds or I could stay home and play multiplayer with some friends online.
            But I get it. I get intimidated going to bars with 20 and 30 year olds because I feel like I have nothing it common. I have done it a few times but I’m working up becoming more comfortable with it

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I get intimidated going to bars with 20 and 30 year olds because I feel like I have nothing it common.
            That's the thing here, there's nothing for my age group. I once lived in Richmond, VA where it was all 20's-30's, and I didn't get to take advantage of it like I wanted. Then I came here to see that it offers me nothing, no peers, no interests, no nothing.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            yeah yeah i feel that. my friend was sort of the same way but he ended up liking more big, normal events instead of the underground rave scene i went to
            i would just say that the bars in those events are probably better than normal bars, more hot girls, more edgy girls, you can always stand by the bar or stand back from the crowd
            at a bar i get looks, but like this one time there was this great brunette with short black hair talking to 2 others, and her body language was "come over here, whilst i'm talking with these other people" i had another social experience where i met an old school buddy and this rando came up to us and joined the convo easily, we talked about getting food around and this guy comes in and says theres great food around here - name drop of food place
            and thats a fluency level i have been avoiding
            i can imagine myself doing hard approaches though

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i think now i'm doing a little bit of good by having an open mind about approaches, when i avoid them i'm subtly saying im interested and have a maybe in my mind.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You didn't miss out

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Yes I did.

        >I really regret not dating
        I doubt you sincerely do. You're probably just depressed over something else in your life. Depression causes our brains to fixate on negatives.

        You passed through three green lights, finally hit a red light, and said: "Why do I always get stuck at a red light when I have to be somewhere?" That's your brain on depression.

        You didn't date up until this point because you didn't want to. Your depressed brain will come up with all sorts of narratives to combat this realization. "I didn't get enough love as a child," "society is rigged," etc. No, you just don't care.

        Own yourself instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

        Nah, I regret it dude. I should have been dating and fricking in my 20's. I just was too wrapped up in my own problems and couldn't get over them.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >I should have been dating and fricking in my 20's.
          Why?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Seriously?

            Be the best version of yourself today. The person you should have been is long dead.
            > Are things still salvageable, or is it over?
            Maybe. Hard to say without knowing you. Either way Id go for it; try getting international pilled

            I don't know man, I got majorly fricked in my late 20's and was sent back years from further development and everything. I have nothing.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            me too. Im in basically same situation; lost virginity late in life. The first time I had a woman straight up tell me she wanted me was a shocker; I'd subconsciously viewed myself as undesirable. Made me reevaluate & see the missed opportunities.

            Irregardless, you should go for it. I HIGHLY recommend getting international pilled, which being wealthpilled helps with. Also the app 'interpals' seems pretty good.

            Im not trying to sell you roses, your situation is dire & many people live & die in suffering. I'm saying this is prob the best path for you, and you dont need to ropemaxx.
            Also seriously, dont live in the past. Its there for you to learn from you cant go back. If you cant stop yourself wallowing in regrets then seek professional help; its like a common diagnosis these days.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >getting international pilled,
            I'm not moving to another country, I don't have the money and it seems a bit stupid.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            > it seems a bit stupid.
            Are you happy? If the answer is no and you arent considering moving, then you are the one whose stupid. Our ancestors have been doing it for thousands of years
            > I don't have the money
            Thats your real problem. You wont solve your problems while poor.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I'm not happy, I've never been happy. It just as I got older, I wanted someone but looked at myself and thought I wasn't worth it. I didnt go out, I didn't go to bars, clubs, anything, because I was so unhappy, but wanted something and someone. I knew she was out there, and I had to find her, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            she is out there, shes not here. Shes across the sea.
            Choose to live, or you will just grow older.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Seriously?
            Yes? Why *should* you have done anything that you clearly didn't want to do?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            because he did want to do it and felt he couldnt. You understand nothing.
            Read his text; why do you think he focused so much on improving?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >why do you think he focused so much on improving?
            Because he didn't actually want to. He was only motivated by peer pressure, or by the prospect of some perceived gain in status or power by being in a certain kind of relationship, hence why he beat around the bush and focused on "improving" rather than just going ahead and dating, like any person who ACTUALLY wants to date does.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            This is the dumbest post I've ever read on /adv/ and that's saying something.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Frick you. Alfred Adler was a successful psychologist who came to the same conclusion about matters of motivation.

            If a person actually wants to date, guess what they will do? They'll date. They'll just start asking out girls on dates until they get one. You don't need to "improve" to get a date, this is a bunch of bullshit someone who doesn't really want to date is telling himself. As for "approach anxiety" — that's your brain telling you flat out that you're doing something you really don't want to be doing.

            Vast majority of "late virgins" and guys in their 30's with barely any relationship experience on this site are only in their situation because they spent their time doing shit they actually wanted to do, like playing video games, jacking off to porn, watching TV, etc. It's pussy behavior to craft these sob story narratives and other copes about your lack of experience at your age. The adult thing is to own up and admit that you just didn't give enough of a frick about dating and sex to be doing that.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I've explained it, and the other Anon did the same. No one wants to listen to you, you don't understand the situation and why I did what I did.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >No one wants to listen to you
            Continue to bury your head in the sand then.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            if you think a young man would rather jack off than have sex, I have no words for you.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Vast majority of "late virgins" and guys in their 30's with barely any relationship experience on this site are only in their situation because they spent their time doing shit they actually wanted to do, like playing video games, jacking off to porn, watching TV, etc.

            No you fricking moron, they did that stuff BECAUSE they couldn't get a relationship. Those are coping mechanisms.

            Like me. I wanted to date. But I couldn't because I was a social outcast. Nobody liked me or wanted to me around me, so I was forced to play video games instead.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Wow I can't believe someone held you at gunpoint and forced you to play games when you didn't want to, and or forced you not to socialize and date when you did want to. Wow! Was this man who held you at gunpoint named Chad by chance?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What else was a suburban kid who could never find any other kids to hang out with supposed to do? I was a kid, all I had were the options given to me.

            Playing outside alone is boring, so I had to resort to activities that could be done alone.

            Was I supposed to lay in bed and stare at the fricking ceiling all day?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I was out doing those things. The issue was I had no one to socialize with. I was bullied at school and girls thought I was ugly.

            At home, I had no one. No siblings. No neighbors. It was just me.

            Have you met your quota of making threads about this today? Go on, make a few more.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Eat a bag of dicks, narcissistic normie c**t. This isn't an uncommon experience. The internet and video games robbed me of a real childhood. Not because I was addicted to them (in fact I hated them and preferred doing literally anything else), but because everyone else was.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Man you always say the exact same thing too. Getting old.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Me, even the people who liked the same things as me didn't want me around. I know it had to do with slander, but holy frick what were people saying when no one wanted me? I remember showing up to a bike ride held by a local bike shop(trying to put myself out there) and they all started yelling at me to leave and the guy that was hosting it charged at me while telling me he'd knock me out. Even people who liked music, art, movies, etc, nope.

            I have no idea what the frick I did.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well, I do know the cause of it. Some dude that was "cool" and him and his buddies went around talking shit because he didn't like me(who the frick knows why). It got that bad, to the point where I had little anxiety attacks before leaving the house because I know someone would be out there looking for me, or hoping to run into me. The same thing happened with Pokemon go!, I showed up to a spot, people yelling and wanting to fight, I left. Halfway on the depressing walk home I get stopped by a cop, slammed against his car, and told he got a call of someone who matched me showing up to a Pokemon go! stop and "starting shit". Dude would not listen to me, he was in my face yelling "SAY IT AGAIN MOTHERFRICKER OR I'M GOING TO PUT YOU SOMEWHERE THEY'LL HAVE NO PROBLEM BEATING YOUR FAT ASS", and I'm sitting there in shock..I just wanted to play Pokemon go!, have fun and meet people. Nope, wasn't allowed, and someone called the cops and fricking lied.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Now I'm just trauma dumping, I'm just trying to make a point that I went through a lot of shit that made me who I am and why being around people is so fricking iffy for me. Especially, and obviously women.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Nobody liked me or wanted to me around me, so I was forced to play video games instead.
            Even if I accept your bullshit premise, how were you forced into video games specifically?
            If you weren't (or claim you couldn't) hang out with anyone, you still could have done just about anything else you wanted on your own time. Frick you; you chose the video games.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I was a kid with no other options. I didn't choose video games, they were literally all I had access to.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You are lying.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm not. I was completely isolated.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ok? And?
            What about that means you were "forced" to play video games and not do something else with your alone time?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How did you not find other kids into games? I never even talked to a girl as a kid and i had a great childhood and teen years playing vidya or tcgs with my similar weird friends.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Not him, but me OP. I even tried to get into gaming groups and everything. The only people I talked to were my "friends"(who weren't) and a gaming group of 30+ year olds that would get drunk and start crying to me about wasting youth. It's not that I wanted to, it just fricking happened.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >As for "approach anxiety" — that's your brain telling you flat out that you're doing something you really don't want to be doing.

            Anxiety doesn't mean you don't want to do something.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Everyone is disagreeing with you but in my case this is 100% correct. The ONLY reason why I ever even chased pussy in the first place was because I was around a bunch of men that scaled my social value based on how many girls I got. If you didn’t have sex with x amount of girls this week you were the absolute joke for the month. Turns out this even skewered my relationship with women, causing me to dislike them because the girls we were chasing weren’t very likeable to me. Turns out, all this time I had shit friends. I distanced myself from them and now I rarely care about women anymore, which is funny because I don’t have to force myself to rizz them up anymore, and a genuine conversation can spark up if there is opportunity for one.

            This didn’t really significantly change how women viewed me, I’m still short and unattractive so practically invisible but I’ve stopped putting them on a pedestal. Funnily enough, I had a coworker who showed me signs of interest but I wasn’t even interested in her like that mainly because I don’t date coworkers, so the thought of us dating was completely out of the question for me.

            I’m turning 25 this year, so I’d say it’s over for me. This doesn’t really bother me though, because I have bigger issues to worry about, for example I’m broke with poor emotional management and addicted to my phone. I also have hobbies I want to be really good at, and want to make a lot of money, so until then, dating is off limits. I’ll get back to you in five years to tell you if I’ve got any regrets or not, and well, honestly in five years we’ll have achieved AGI and the male-female polarity will be worse than it is now, so I’ll just settle for an AGI gf or whatever.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Actual blackpill that no one here wants to swallow right here. If you actually wanted something, you'd be doing it instead of sitting off to the side lamenting like a gay. It just hurts our pride to admit how easily we give up or how much clamor we make over things we don't really want or need.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I was out doing those things. The issue was I had no one to socialize with. I was bullied at school and girls thought I was ugly.

            At home, I had no one. No siblings. No neighbors. It was just me.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Not entirely true. You can want to be a scientist and try, but if you are too moronic to understand whats required, you will never be a scientist, no matter how much you "want" to be one.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You are 100% correct actually. In my case, i wanted a girl and was on dates, but i never met a girl i actually wanted to get shackled down with. Even in my 30s i walk by bars and can't conceive why anyone would want to ever be there.

            I will say though that life can prevent you in developing a taste for that social environment. In my case, i had my college yeard taken away from me so i never got to experience that kind of environment in the first place. Perhaps if i had, i would have been more open to the shit my mind rejects.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            NTA But it makes alot of sense to me, last year I was living with my mom and feeling bummed about life but I kept using dating apps and trying to meet people even though I felt like my life situation wasn’t ideal (living with family, far from hot areas of the city etc). And yes it ended up not working out most of the time. But instead of saying “I wish I kept dating instead of being hermit living with my mom for a year” I’m now saying, “I want to move out” and it’s given me motivation so I can continue dating and have a better situation around it

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Frick you. Alfred Adler was a successful psychologist who came to the same conclusion about matters of motivation.

            If a person actually wants to date, guess what they will do? They'll date. They'll just start asking out girls on dates until they get one. You don't need to "improve" to get a date, this is a bunch of bullshit someone who doesn't really want to date is telling himself. As for "approach anxiety" — that's your brain telling you flat out that you're doing something you really don't want to be doing.

            Vast majority of "late virgins" and guys in their 30's with barely any relationship experience on this site are only in their situation because they spent their time doing shit they actually wanted to do, like playing video games, jacking off to porn, watching TV, etc. It's pussy behavior to craft these sob story narratives and other copes about your lack of experience at your age. The adult thing is to own up and admit that you just didn't give enough of a frick about dating and sex to be doing that.

            And this guy is 100% right
            You can go to the Bar 5 days a week if you wanted to and some people DO do that. When I was in my 20s there were Friday nights when I said “nah I want to stay in and watch a movie” instead of going out and socializing. Yes it was My choice and yes I enjoyed the choice I made. But I can’t sit here at age 32 saying “frick frick why didn’t I go out on Fridays in my 20s??”

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            No, I DID want to date. But I was relentlessly bullied growing up. People mocked me every time I opened my mouth, girls called me ugly.

            I got really depressed and socially awkward because of it.

            I got over my depression and awkwardness after leaving school, but now there's another problem; lack of opportunities. Suddenly, most of the people I'm seeing are waaaaaaay older than me and the few women I do meet are already taken.

            I'm in a position now where I can date, but I still can't find a woman who's both single and attracted to me.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Because those are the optimal years for it. Your sex drive and body are at their peak. If you miss out then, then you miss out forever

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That's not really true in all cases. Thats assuming a base line level all people are on at that age. If you are an obese frick in your teens and 20s and get fit in your 30s, your energy and libido will be higher at that point.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Nah, you're not going to be fit like you would be in your 20's. Your body peaks in youth, not in aging. 30 is when you start to age, even in men where they start to lose test over time.

            By the way, the 30+ ripped dudes you see hanging out at college bars until closing, people think they're weird.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Once again, your stance is assuming everyone is exactly the same from an assembly line when they reach their 20s with the same base level weight, genetics, mental faculties. You can absolutely be more healthy and active later in life if you treated your body like shit going into and during your 20s. It will effect your body more so later if you made particularly shit choices, but its absolutely possible to be healthier in your 30s then your 20s.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The whole point is that I'm not healthy, and I have a lot of trauma associated with what I've been through with others. No one let me be healthy, no one let me have anyone or anything. I was just tossed aside because of others, I had no power over my own and name and reputation. I was never allowed to stand up for myself or say that someone was lying or showing who they really were. Seeing that people would rather watch me suffer and take others bullshit as fact, never taking me seriously or letting me speak for myself.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It's the same day on repeat. I wake up, I put in applications, I jerk off, I wake up later in the day, surf the internet, fall back asleep, wake up, go get beer, listen to music and beg for someone to see me, acknowledge me, talk to me, etc, it never happens. Then I go back to bed, and the whole thing repeats, because I was allowed to have nothing else. And I know it sounds stupid, but I've been literally not allowed.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I have facebook, and insta. My posts are a ghost town, no one talks to me, no one says anything, supports, nothing. They just sit there, but offer nothing, but everything to others. And you see it, and it gets rubbed in your face, and it hurts, you want to be like them. You want that love, care, comradery, and friendship, but people refused to let you have it and don't care how you feel, or how you're alone, how you're reaching out. It means nothing, and it's brutal to see that you're not even worthy of a comment. Someone to talk to, confide in, nothing, and people don't feel, like human empathy means nothing when it comes to you but everyone else gets it by default .

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I have two aging(almost in their 60's) parents that have seen their son be hurt, and hurt, over and over. Spending his time alone, bored, drunk, tired, stoned, and aching for the better. All they've done, and tried to help, and sometimes fricked things up but it was well intentioned.

            I don't want them to die seeing that, I bet they wanted to see their first born be and do so much better. I'm sorry my and dad, I love you, but this world just didn't let me have it. It breaks my fricking heart too. Or, with my drinking, I'll be lowered into the ground before them. A casket closing on a sad existence, and went out gasping in hospice scared gripping my mother's hand as fluid fills up in my lungs as my liver failed.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Because the odds are basically 0 for a 30+ year old virgin, outside of prostitution/geomaxxing. Not learning how to have sex by 25 is like not learning how to tie your shoes by 10 or ride a bike by 14.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/RdzpIdO.jpg

      Coming up on my mid-30's, I really regret not dating. I always wanted to be "better"(losing weight etc) (and then start dating, but I regret doing that and not trying as I should have, or just trying in general. Are things still salvageable, or is it over? This also means I'm inexperienced with women, etc.

      Neither of you missed much. The only real reason you feel this way is because media endlessly romanticizes young love and will do so forever, making it seem like you missed out.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There is nothing fun about wasting the prime of your life alone. Being an outcast when you're young ruins the rest of your life because you will never get your youth back. You can't do the things you missed out now because you're older, you have less stamina, your hormones are weaker

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >You can't do the things you missed out now because you're older, you have less stamina, your hormones are weaker
          You're 35 not fricking 80, just admit that you're a lazy slob. There were people who fought in WW2 while being in their 40s/50s.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >You're 35 not fricking 80, just admit that you're a lazy slob
            It's funny, because my super uncool parents are closing in on 80 and even they still have more energy and zest for life than these homosexuals. Hell he's probably not even 35, I've seen way too many 22-23 year olds posting here who larp as tired defeated old men.
            The bottom line is these people are pathetic and largely deserve all the misfortune they find themselves in.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            NTA but you're kind of taking it too far, IMO. At school I had a 95 year old teacher who looked great and was full of vigour. Enthusiastic, joyful guy. Not everyone has a life like his, a body like his, a character like his. Sometimes people are just dealt a bad hand, and sometimes they have a really hard time coping with it. A 20 year old is naturally full of vigour, which is exactly why they don't behave like "defeated old men" unless they have a good reason to do that.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Not everyone has a life like his, a body like his, a character like his.
            Yes, I know not everyone does. What does it matter? The point is YOU should. Who gives a frick what other people are or are not doing?
            > A 20 year old is naturally full of vigour, which is exactly why they don't behave like "defeated old men" unless they have a good reason to do that.
            Their "good reason" has already been explained: they're larping defeatist homosexuals.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            If you have a heroin addiction, for example, it may be more difficult to have that kind of life. This is what I am referring to. Not everyone has the same starting point.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I've known my share of junkies over the years. If they did have a heroin addiction, trust me, it's still 100% their fault.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Even if they come from a shitty broken home?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yes?
            If not, why doesn't everyone who came from a shitty broken home do heroin then?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Because people's lives are different and people are different, even when there's shared themes. Let's say you have two people coming from broken homes and one of them is 85 IQ the other 130 IQ. Which one will be more likely to avoid bad coping mechanisms? There's genetic factors, environmental factors, social support, etc.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm 33, not 35. I'm closing in on 35.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >The bottom line is these people are pathetic and largely deserve all the misfortune they find themselves in.
            but being lazy wasn't the problem here.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >The bottom line is these people are pathetic and largely deserve all the misfortune they find themselves in.

            I wasted my 20s like this. I would keep making posts like "is it too late to do x?". Like I wanted to learn how to draw but would think it was too late to start with 25 because there are people who had 10 years of drawing experience at that point. I have chronic depression/low energy so I guess I was looking for excuses to not do something. Now being 30 I really regret and feel deeply ashamed that I was like this. I found some old posts I made and I want to punch my younger self for talking about being old while being in my 20s.

            But I do kinda blame media for this for always illuminating the young successes and ageism so you might get the feeling that if you don't start early it's ogre. Also I think because of social media we are more narcissistic and perfectionist so you feel like if you didn't start early you will never be amazing and if you won't be world class then why bother?

            Truth is you only have one life so there really is no choice to not start. There is no real relief in giving up.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >the feeling that if you don't start early it's ogre.
            That's not something that's came from just social media. It's always been a thing to get your shit right when you're young so you can enjoy the rest of your life. But when you're my age, have nothing and no one and the world showing you that you don't deserve anything or anyone, what do you do? Stay inside? Kys? Go out and cope trying to make up for lost time and opportunities I should have been taking as I was a younger but could never convince myself due to trauma and anxiety?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            This world forgot me, and I don't understand why. No ever seemed to care, and I was left a broken man with a broken mind always calling out for someone to listen, be there, or help. I never got anything, and no one let me have anything.It sounds like an exaggeration, and I wish it was. But something about me makes me so undeserving of love, friendship, and everything else, I can't find anything wrong. But it's always wanting more, but not being able to have it. I wish I could wake up in my own place, with my gf laying next to me, or never having to crawl into an empty bed again, be alone, anything. I try to be optimistic, but the reality is, if no one loved me anyway, what makes me think someone else will because I go out and/or put myself out there.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I hold my hand out, only to be watched as I suffer.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You cannot do those things anymore because it's no longer the optimal time of life to do it.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, I missed out on a lot dude. If I could have been able to rebuild myself and my esteem things would have gone a lot better. If I learned how to deal with conflict and the shit others do and say things would have been better. If I learned to get over my insecurities and paranoia's I would have been better.

        Those things didn't happen.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's a vital learning experience that you need to nagivate "adult" relationships. Young love isn't meant to last forever, they're meant to prepare you for adult love.

        Without young love, you have no frame of reference for adult relationships, so you're completely fricked when/if you get into one.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That's actually a pretty good point.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Never could date, I was bullied so bad in high school the fricking staff used to even rip on me. There was no way I'd put myself around a girl without a problem, so I missed out on young love. Simply because I literally wasn't allowed, talking to a girl, or being seen with one was a death sentence. I already told the story about what happened with the popular girl in school liking me.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Everything can be BS'd through if you are smart enough. Women are not the mind readers tards on this board make them out to be. Usually its very much the opposite and they end up making bad decisions because their own intuition is pretty inexperienced of the real world.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That's fricking dumb.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You can't go clubbing in your 30's? Genuine question

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No clubs around here and being in one once, it wasn't really my thing. It's more about having social chances and outlets that people use, not just in finding a partner and how I regret not doing those things. Like I said, I feel those things needed to be done, and were more appropriate in my 20's when I should have been doing them. Not pushing 35, so age is an obvious insecurity.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Be honest with yourself. Do you truly think you would have enjoyed any of those things? Sounds more like you feel society expected you to go to them.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I’m the opposite. Not the OP but I’m also in my mid 30s. I wish I had spent my 20s building my career. It’s so much harder to do later in life

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Same, I really wanted to go back to school and get a trade, but I could just never get away from my parents. Looking back, even though I was with them I should have done it, and almost came close to taking out a student loan before someone ratted me out to my parents.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Even though sometimes, I do want to admit it's over, and that I wasn't anything any woman wanted. I didn't have a gf growing up, teens, early adulthood, so that kind of points at me not being appealing to the opposite sex, mostly from social isolation and just not going out as I should have. So feeling this has kept me away from women or even acknowledging them, feeling like I was never good enough and that women are for better men, but me not being one of them. Being low on the social totem pole doesn't help much either, the nights I get bummed out not having someone, or going to an empty bed, it does bother me. I'll admit it, but I don't want to be alone anymore, and have an empty bed, but maybe it might be best?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe I should just admit it, I don't have "it", and that I'm not appealing to women. I've had women I've talked to and hit it off with before in my past, but that was when I was younger, and things were more promising, but since then it's been no one. Women don't find me attractive, I've never been called cute or anything like that, I've never had a woman make a move towards me, show any interest, at all.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you're better off. its worse being appealing to absolute hogs that confirm just how disgusting you are.y

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Same. I took a long break from it but now it's harder than ever.

    You're going to have to really work on yourself, and not waste any time. Get involved socially too.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Same. I took a long break from it but now it's harder than ever.
      That's what I've heard, and looking at where I am in life, I'm fricked. I might be doing the right thing by facing the reality of everything.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Hi OP. I think you really need to focus on yourself. I think you're going to struggle with a relationship if there's so much about yourself you're unhappy with. A girlfriend isn't going to fix those things.
    If you're unhappy with your appearance, change your diet, exercise more, get some new clothes. If you're unhappy with your stagnation, go places, do things you wouldn't normally do, travel and have fun.
    You really need to look after yourself and start liking yourself to be able to enjoy your life.
    Through doing this you should start to feel better about yourself and improve your life in so many ways. It could even lead to a relationship, but even if it doesn't you'll still be living a better life.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I would disagree in this case, since OP fell down that rabbit hole of thinking he needs to be perfect before he can even start dating. Which of course, is also just a cope for his clear fear and low self-esteem. He doesn't see it, but I do.
      Perfect is the enemy of good. No one is perfect, and most people are very far from it, and yet most people still date.

      if you think a young man would rather jack off than have sex, I have no words for you.

      NTA but if a young man who was perfectly capable of getting sex spent a decade jacking off and having no sex, then he did rather jack off. Even if only subconsciously, which is the part that you and OP both seem to miss. The proof is by looking at his story; that's exactly what happened.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >NTA but if a young man who was perfectly capable of getting sex spent a decade jacking off and having no sex, then he did rather jack off.

        No, the reason he jacked off is because he couldn't get sex.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Initially, yes. But then it becomes a feedback loop.

          >No one is perfect, and most people are very far from it, and yet most people still date.

          Most people don't have to "try" to date. They meet people just by living their lives, form connections with them, and those connections evolve into relationships.

          But if you're an outcast, that doesn't happen. Some people are just unlucky. It happens.

          >They meet people just by living their lives, form connections with them, and those connections evolve into relationships.
          Sure, but this is the exact kind of "trying" that you guys aren't doing. I agree, that's not a big deal for most people to do, but so what? You're clearly not "most people".

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            We're already trying harder than most people, and it gets us nothing.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Oh? What have you tried.

            If I'm expected to put in twice the effort, I expect twice the reward. If I have to work my ass just to get what everyone else gets just for existing, I'm not interested. I'll only do it if I get something twice as good as what they have

            >If I'm expected to put in twice the effort, I expect twice the reward.
            Frick you, that's not how life works. And I agree that you really shouldn't have to be working twice as hard to just to achieve the baseline, it's just that I'm coming at it from the opposite angle.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            If I'm expected to put in twice the effort, I expect twice the reward. If I have to work my ass just to get what everyone else gets just for existing, I'm not interested. I'll only do it if I get something twice as good as what they have

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >No one is perfect, and most people are very far from it, and yet most people still date.

        Most people don't have to "try" to date. They meet people just by living their lives, form connections with them, and those connections evolve into relationships.

        But if you're an outcast, that doesn't happen. Some people are just unlucky. It happens.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I have extremely low self esteem, people hated it when I was feeling better about myself or had my head held high.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Who cares what they hate? That's their problem, and it shows you what kind of shitty people you were apparently surrounded with.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I really regret not dating
    I doubt you sincerely do. You're probably just depressed over something else in your life. Depression causes our brains to fixate on negatives.

    You passed through three green lights, finally hit a red light, and said: "Why do I always get stuck at a red light when I have to be somewhere?" That's your brain on depression.

    You didn't date up until this point because you didn't want to. Your depressed brain will come up with all sorts of narratives to combat this realization. "I didn't get enough love as a child," "society is rigged," etc. No, you just don't care.

    Own yourself instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Any advice for a guy who’s turning 20 in November?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Not OP but I could give you advice I wish I had

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah sure go ahead

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Be the best version of yourself today. The person you should have been is long dead.
    > Are things still salvageable, or is it over?
    Maybe. Hard to say without knowing you. Either way Id go for it; try getting international pilled

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Anon, I'm close to your situation.
    I'm 29, KHHV, horrible childhood trauma fricked my youth, then got fricked over by health problems and lost most of my 20s to that, dropped out of college, got obese to cope with the fact I hated my life (all obese people have mental problems, obesity is a symptom), became a NEET for years, almost zero friends in my life.
    Now, should I kill myself?
    For the longest time my answer was yes.
    However a year ago I said to myself "at least let's try"
    I said also "trying will be painful"
    However... I just want to try.
    So I really tried. I was over 160 kilos, now I'm 104 kilos and still getting better. My health is stable and I went back to study the trade I always wanted to do: bartending.
    Will I succeed?
    I can't tell. Maybe all this effort will be worthless, maybe some things will make me suffer even more, or maybe things will get better. I can't know unless I try.
    If I take a step back the field I want to get better are
    >health
    >a nice body
    >my own place
    >a job I love
    >sex
    Now, health and a nice body will come 100%, for physical efforts are subjects of physical laws; the better I treat my body (and follow my doctor's advice) the more I'll gain, health and aesthetic wise.
    The job will come: already my renewed efforts in the trade earned me a lot of interests from places that might hire me next. With a job, I'll have my place.
    Now, will I have sex? Statistically, yes. If a willing man with a job, his own place, a mind that can blend in socionormative situations and a non-dying body plays his card going into an active social life, it's hardly improbable to never get laid.
    Will this be worth the pain?
    Only time will tell.
    Just try and suffer a little bit, maybe you'll suffer more, or maybe it's not over yet

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, you should follow Jesus because you definitely need to get to the bottom of things in an up-close-and-personal way.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe I'm not deserving of it, maybe I need to listen to what society and other men have have taught me. I don't deserve, or have I earned the right to have a partner, a lover. That's for better men, and if I talk to a girl, be thankful the nice lady spoke to me. Leave it at that, nothing more, don't do and say anything that'll cross a line. Don't attract the betters, because they will be in the way, and take you from her. Like the small talk, the fluttering feeling in your stomach, and be thankful you got a crumb of socialization at the most.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I read that back and think that people fricked me up really bad, but sometimes you need to know your place. That smile, it's not for you, it's ingenuine, that real smile the look of love, that's reserved for someone else and it doesn't matter what you talked about, how long, and a connection made, don't tread where you've been shown that you're not allowed.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It's not even incel shit, have you ever talked to a girl that thought you were cute, only for her co-worker to threaten to get his gun while walking into the back? Or be 12 years old at Hallowscream and dancing with a Zombie girl having a good time when a grown man got jealous and punched me in the side of the head full force. Shit like that, and it's not women I've had bad experiences is with other men. Going to a friends house where her brother had girls over all in bikinis, they were actually flirting with me and the dude tries to sucker punch me and gets taken down by a buddy of mine(he would have blindsided me, I didn't even fricking see him). So I've had negative experiences dealing with women, and some of those fricking me up.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I caught the attention of the popular girl in high school because I taught her Say Anything - Spider Song on guitar. I was literally getting death threats and people threatening to harm my parents and shit. Just because some girl liked me. I'd have people just cruising through my neighborhood looking for me. It was fricked, and all just because a girl liked me.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Or when you met a girl that liked Circa Survive and her cousin got weird and made you leave because she liked you? Only for you to come back and see him walking towards you with a bat? I didn't do anything wrong, me and her just liked Circa and she was really cool. Until that happened, I was just 16, so I'm not going to lie, it scared the shit out of me.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            A girls dad in the neighborhood I lived in, I went to go ask if she wanted to ride bikes. Her dad came out of the house, grabbed me by the neck and slammed my head about 3 times on the pillar to the front stairs. Then having the cops come, to only yell about how he was going to kill me and bury me alive.

            She moved months later. Never saw her again.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            My mom slapped me in the mouth so hard one time for letting a girl ride my bike to her house for a kiss. She didn't just slap me, called the cops, called her parents, caused this big scene outside as the cops were trying to be like "DUDE, YOU KISSED A GIRL FRICK YEAH!!!" and my mom's literally yelling at her and her mom about how she wanted them both arrested.

            No wonder no one fricking liked me.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Forgot, she slapped me so hard my lips bled. There was no reason to hit me like that, and I got a kiss for letting a girl ride my bike. Just let me have that right? Develop and all that shit? Nah, lets smack the shit out of my son, cause all this commotion, and the whole time the cops are trying so fricking hard not to arrest her because she was so unhinged.

            Let me reach the fricking milestone right? Nope.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Unless you dramatically lower yours standards, it's over. Almost nobody is getting into LTRs or married after 35. And if they are it's with run through girlbosses, run through single moms, homewreckers, or extremely fat chicks.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Then there was the false stalking and rape accusation, like god damn dude. I couldn't catch a break.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I was surprised the stalking one people thought was bullshit. Some girl said she saw me in her neighborhood and called my brother saying I was there, like it was a bad thing. Unbeknownst to me, and where she lived, people were like "Brandon rides his bike around all the time" and actually nipped that in the bud because it was bullshit. Everything else tho, that didn't happen with. I don't know what the problem was or what I did, all I know is that I had a lot of people running their mouths.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I got all off course here, I'm talking about dating again. Yes, I feel that I fricked up and I missed out. I feel like I should have a partner by now and living a better life. I just didn't think I was going to be where I'm at.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    bump

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Entire thread is OP talking to himself

      Look, I'm trying to help. Spend less time inside your head and more time touching grass. I used to be sociopathic and autistic but actually talking to people made me change. And no, it's never too late to change. I know people in their 40s who managed to get hitched.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Look, I'm trying to help. Spend less time inside your head and more time touching grass
        That's pretty much the answer, but if I have things that are holding me back, and have for this long would it be better to admit it just wasn't for me and I ended up just not giving a shit because people made me feel that I wasn't worthy of dating anyone. But being realistic that I had to improve from where I was, but I didn't get to be where I wanted to be in many ways in the end.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ok and now reading more of the thread and OP's stories, I get where the hesitation and low self-esteem is coming from. Jesus OP, you had some fricked up people in your life.
    I'm not saying this to be flippant but as a genuine point of advice, you might want to consider therapy if you feel you can't untangle those experiences on your own.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Instead of trying to find the perfect partner just keep telling yourself that you are facillitating your perfect partner finding you. This simple change in mindset has completely changed my life.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm 27. My dad died when I was a kid
    I was raised by an abusive mentally ill addict single mom. She would lock me in my room. People on NSFFW talk about being shutins. I was one against my will. When I finally went to college and gained independence I instantly floundered academically because I had no sense of self. I have no foundation at all. I feel connected to nothing. I had friends but I felt nothing emotionally for them.

    I am not unattractive physically. Girls have always been interested and forward with me. They even baked me gifts. I did not pursue anyone.
    I was afraid.
    Girls and women were the primary source of my suffering through my mom and during childhood. I was left utterly lost and confused. It seemed like women could abuse me however they want and nobody saw anything wrong with that but if I fought back I'd be punished.
    At my core I am afraid of women.
    But back in college I confused that feeling. I thought I needed to work on myself first since that's what everyone says. I thought I had to go be perfect before dating. I thought I had to qait to find my special twin flame perfect love too.. The people around me brainwashed me into thinking that was a virtue. That waiting for marriage and true love was good.

    So I have no one. My life is nothing. I feel very lonely but my chances of meeting a woman have dropped to near 0. I try to shrug off notions of story book or religious "Love" but it all still hurts. I have felt unlovable and dirty all my life. I'm tired of "working on myself". I have done so. I just can't make much progress. And it depresses me the idea that I'll find my first girlfriend when? My 30s? My 40s? How long will it take to be perfect?

    And at the end of the day I'm scared. If a woman touched me I'd want to run.

    I think I'm just going to be alone forever. A miserable embarrassing virgin failure. One day my looks will fade and reflect how ugly I am inside too.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      kys for real

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Not him, but I think about it.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I will kill myself specifically because of this post. Congrats anon, you killed a man today.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I am in the same position as you. Seeing as a kid how women can get away with abuse might legitimately make you afraid of them and turn you fricked. Many young boys experience the same thanks to feminism and the state giving women complete control.
      You just gotta realize that women can't hurt you anymore unless you let them and think of how you dealt with other anxieties in your life.
      Or just avoid them forever.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        cringeeee

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          why?

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    im tired of the only advice being to work on yourself and be a monk
    im tired of all the male targeted advertisements that tells me im not good enough and need higher T more hair nicer shoes more medication
    im so tired of it all
    why can't I just be me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      because you aren't good enough. If you were, you wouldn't be having these problems.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >im tired of the only advice being to work on yourself and be a monk
      this is pure misandry by the way
      women value "ATM's" or house-servants. by telling you to "work on yourself" they're really telling you to become a better house-servant for them.

      don't fall for it, don't work on yourself, demand respect for who you are right now.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Upgrading yourself is bad

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >don't fall for it, don't work on yourself, demand respect for who you are right now.
        Why? A lot of you are not worthy of any respect.

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no it isn't. Just find an 18 year old and date her

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah it's fully fixable

    You just need to get into contact with women and use it to form relationships.

    The only way to do it for someone like you is to quit your job, go to school again and meet women there. Once you're in school you can speak to girls, get to know one another and date/hook up or at least they invite you to parties where you meet more and more women to date those.

    But it all has to start in school so just focus on going to college as soon as you can.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This doesn't work if you pick an engineering or compsci degree btw, you need something like law or medicine

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >But it all has to start in school so just focus on going to college as soon as you can.
      He's almost 35. Pay attention to what OP's saying.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So what? Universities can be attended at any age

        Actual blackpill that no one here wants to swallow right here. If you actually wanted something, you'd be doing it instead of sitting off to the side lamenting like a gay. It just hurts our pride to admit how easily we give up or how much clamor we make over things we don't really want or need.

        Not when there's no possibility of "doing it"
        It hurts infinite times more to admit that not everything can be done at any moment like it can in daydreams or in lies you've read online especially when it requires 2 people not just one to do and the other person is not available.
        Speaking to women cannot be done just because you want to do it, you can only do it in specific place. It doesn't matter how badly you want to speak to them, you cannot do it until enough time passes and you gather enough savings to quit your job and go to school again.

        I was out doing those things. The issue was I had no one to socialize with. I was bullied at school and girls thought I was ugly.

        At home, I had no one. No siblings. No neighbors. It was just me.

        You need to go to school again and this time meet women there.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Universities can be attended at any age
          oldgays at unis are treated as creepy social outcasts

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I never dated growing up and now that I'm starting to get into it I realize it's not a big deal anyway. It has its pros and cons.

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Things are still salvageable. Just start dating, be honest about inexperience, and don't worry about the past

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Women don't date inexperienced men.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I asked my sister about it. She said if people are alone it means there is something wrong with them so it's better to avoid them. Basically you have to have a gf in order to get a gf.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          People have had this weird thing where they've always had to treat me like shit and push me away from others. I have no idea why, dude, I've had people frick with me at a family members funeral. You have no idea how fricking cruel people have been to me over the years and how people use that against me to keep me alone. I just have aspergers and I'm a bit awkward from that, and I've seen other aspies with actual lives. What went wrong with me? I just ended up a magnet to shitty people that get off on hurting and controlling people.

          I was in a community where I had friends and people that wanted me around and cared about me, then someone showed up, took that away from me. I lost all my friends, I lost my everything and people didn't care, and it was all over a situation I had nothing to do with and still got my social outlet destroyed along with my name and repuation in a city I didn't live in, I know it sounds insane. The thing that hurt the most about it, no one was there to help, no one wanted to, and I've been alone since my early 20's with basically no one and filled with anxiety and paranoia of people being after me in social situations where I tend to prove myself right.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I have no idea why, dude, I've had people frick with me at a family members funeral.
            By frick with you do you mean they try to win social status games against you? It's just instinct. Most people are mentally moronic with the IQ of a fish. They can't even control themselves.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Laughing at me for crying that my grandfather died, said something about it, caused a big commotion at the funeral. It was one of my uncles dickhead burnout friends. Of course I was alone at the time, but I still remember them fricking laughing at me, at a funeral dude. No one could even stop the bullshit for that, and it always happens, someone does something shitty, suddenly they're innocent and I'm the bad guy.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Still today I have no idea why a shitty person won, it was completely fine for someone to show up, frick up, and then go after me to hide from it. Did just about everything he could to push and keep me away from that community for nothing I did wrong, and I still don't understand why he received nothing, and I lost everything over something I didn't do. That's that whole thing about it, I didn't do anything and why didn't it stop there? Where was the community that liked and gave a shit about me when I needed them the most to stop someone and their obsessive psychotic behavior? I finally was around people, I finally was around people who liked the things I did, I was finally in something where I didn't have to be alone anymore, I had all the answers given to me, all the things I was missing out on and needed in life. It was all taken from me over nothing I did and still today, years after, and they're still tormenting me over it and not letting me forget about it and/or move on from it. Like they enjoy seeing me in pain, and will do anything to make a spectical of me so they can witness that pain with others.

            When it's all over something I didn't do, a situation I literally had nothing to do with. No one cared, they just sat there and let this dude destory me, and no one said "This fricking homosexual is doing this just because he got his fricking ass beat, he's just trying to hide from it like a pussy by going after Anon", nope, not one person, no one did anything. Then I get out into the world and realize that I'm more alone than I thought.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            First person I actually wanted to kill, it's disgusting that piece of shit gets to walk through life with his intact, and I had mine ruined, and have been harassed on the internet and everything over something I didn't do. I didn't do anything, and I always ask, why couldn't it stop there?

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's definitely over.
    Any woman worth dating will be snatched up quickly in their 20s. Anyone left over will be rife with issues and still have expectations through the roof.
    I guess you might still find a moronic 21 year old you can abuse when you're 45 if you're rich enough.
    But as far as a healthy, equally yolked relationship that will last till your old age?
    Forget about it, never gonna happen. You will never have that happy ending surrounded by a loving family you created, you missed your shot.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >You will never have that happy ending surrounded by a loving family you created, you missed your shot
      Most dont get this even when married. Ive known more "high-school sweethearts" who end in divorce then i can even keep track of anymore.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Divorced or have kids with the first dude they fricked and wonder why he left them. Then spend the rest of their lives posting things on facebook about how "Strong" they are for being a single parent(or specifically about being a single mom)when everyone knows it's cope.

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Go to Thailand and get yourself a Thai woman. There not the most attractive women ever and you will also become a race traitor, but at least you will have on your side a loving, caring, feminine woman.

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What is the appeal of life after ~30?

    I'm turning 29 soon and it feels like I'm coming to the end of the only period of my adult life that I cared or could care about. It's not as if I'm in a bad position - I'm set up for a good career in a field I enjoy, I have friends, I have plenty of options for dating - I just don't know what there is to look forward to in the future. I couldn't give a shit about having a steady career, buying a house, settling down, dinner parties, work events, socialising with people I don't know or care for, going to bed early. It all seems so fricking mild.

    When I was 18 I was getting wasted at house parties with close friends who I could empty my soul to - I was a loser, I was suffering much more than I am now, but it was raw and real and I felt alive. At 28 I have a few beers and make shallow conversation with my circle of friends and acquaintances, few of whom I feel close enough to to be fully candid with. I'm more 'content' than I ever have been as an adult, but most of the time I feel dull and neutral. There's no elation, no cathartic sadness, just grey. Sometimes it feels like I've lived too long, like my life is already over and I'm just killing time from here on out.

    How do people deal with becoming 'real adults', with settling down and doing the same shit for decades, all the while growing older and watching their bodies fail? How can I find happiness, meaning, purpose, in a life in which it seems any real excitement is contained to adolescence and young-adulthood? How do people do it?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Meant to post this as its own thread, apologies. I guess it's semi-relevant here

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Anon do you really think a life of excitement is permanently sustainable? Is that even desirable? Excitement is a state of extraordinary agitation. It's only natural to have long stretches of non-excitement.
      How to cope with a long life ahead of you? You do something that is important to you. All things that are important take a long time of consistent effort to achieve. I've finally figured out exactly what I want to do with my life and have more or less taken every truly important decision for the next 10 years of my life. What remains to be done is to put in the necessary effort and time to complete these goals. So that's what I am doing. If my life goes well, everything will stay as it is and go as expected. If it doesn't, I will be very sad. Find what you want to do, and just apply yourself to it. Simple as.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This is good advice, thank you anon

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Advice we all need to take, but I don't know why sometimes it's so much easier said than done. I guess I always have to worry about people, and I hate that I have to.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >What is the appeal of life after ~30?
      Vengeance.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's like no one could stand to see me have anything or anyone in life, someone was always pushing someone away from me, making me look bad, and bringing in constant negativity. I don't know why, no one would let me be happy, no one wanted to see me smiling, loved, with friends, etc. No one wanted to see any of that, and the people that hurt me always got away with it. I always had to deal with someone more powerful, someone that had others, and I'm demonized and dehumanized to others and I get left alone. Jobs, everything, there was always an issue, I was always separated, I was always pushed away and made to feel like I did something when I did, and it was the other person. But no matter what was done or said, it was never the other person.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No one reached out, no one was there, no one gave a helping hand, no one hugged me, no one told me it was going to be ok, no one told me that I didn't have to be alone anymore(once) and I feel I get punished. I get punished for trying to be outgoing, to be positive, to be driven and full of love. Like I'm not allowed to have those things, I'm not allowed to have others say something positive, or care about me. If you do, you're outcasted, and you got people turning against you just because you said something positive, or thought the rumours, the lies, the slander, the libel, everything, was all bullshit. And that I never was the person that people thought I was, but did everything they could, and could find to up hold that opinion. But if I say something about them, then it's an issue.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I even tried that "make yourself happy with what you have " bullshit, but that doesn't work when you have nothing. And your days are literally on repeat, wanting something more, or wanting to go back to what you knew, but you're unsure, you're insecure, worried, and anxious. Because you're going to step out into a world that's going to treat you like shit, even if you're in the right, even when you raise your voice, stand your ground, ball your fists, stand up for yourself and your name that others seem to have supreme control over, more than yourself, you're the bad guy. You're always at the mercy of some piece of shit, and people know he's one, but don't care.

        But you dream of sitting in the back of his car with a ski mask on when he gets off from work.

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Reading this back makes me realize how much of a fricked up life I had. I guess it's me just trying to protect myself from being hurt in a world that can't seem to let me catch a fricking break? I want to be around people, but don't, and I live a lonely, and sad life because of the damage that people have done to me that I never got to fully recover from, or left such deep emotional and mental scarring.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I wish I could explain why people treat me like shit all the time, they just do. I've always seemed to have low value to people and that I never really was held at a level comparable to others. Like I said, there was always someone to push me away, and I was always the butthole for standing up for myself. Being lonely, and having these socially traumatic experiences for such a long time really took it's toll on me. But I did see how fricking mean the world is, how people have no problem hurting and isolating others, or making them feel less than human. It's a reality that's not shown on tv or anything like that, people can be ruthless and from what I've seen and experienced, it doesn't matter if you're not, but when you catch the sights of a better, and that person doesn't like you, you're fricked, and I got fricked, bad.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I've got shit for using the word "betters", but that's what they are. People with lives, friends, etc, functioning people who were allowed to have what they got. I wasn't allowed, so those people in my eyes will always be better, and they're the ones with social pull and power and can dictate social situations and groups. They're the ones people take seriously, follow, and listen too, so when you're deemed not worthy by these betters, it follows you through your whole life. There's no wrong with them, they're cared about enough and have enough social standing and respect that even their bad deeds and things that they've done get glossed over and who it's done to doesn't matter.

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are you making money though?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Frick no, I'm broke. I could never hold a job down long enough. I'd always have issues at work, fricking NO ONE would let me just come in, work, and go home. Not one fricking person in any job I've had.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's your problem right there. Focus on work, on things you can quantify. the search for happiness is a fool's errand.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I've been trying and I've found nothing yet, the last job I had lasted almost 2 months before I got fired. Long story short, the managers and employee's all hated me for some reason, put in a bunch of fake reports and got me fired. Lost my job and everything, went to war with Walmart over it(while what happened being serious grounds for a legitimate lawsuit), and nothing was resolved. Didn't get my job back, nothing.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            There was no reason to actually fire me either, they should and could have known that the reports were fraudulent and would cause an employee to get fired for doing so. So I went through almost 2 months of hell just innocently trying to do a job and get on my feet only to lose it. I do feel like the reason was racism too, because everyone was black, everyone. I was literally the one white guy there until a week before I got fired.

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mopeds were really all I had, and nothing else I enjoyed as much. It was always going back to mopeds and confiding in them. But not sure over everything that happened and know that I might have to face some problems. But is being treated like shit for something you didn't do really worth it to not be alone? Or be around people that have been fed of a false image of who you really are and know nothing but hate and animosity towards you? Not about fact, but years and years of rumours and info collected by people just to make you look bad and pushed you away for it?

    I'm not sure, but I miss that sense of community, having somewhere to go, people and something to confide in because I had nothing else.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Asking here because it's kinda related to this thread, is it too late or impossible to restart things and live your life at 28-29? Asking because I've been a sad aspie shut-in up until recently and things are finally starting to look good.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, it's not too late. Don't listen to the doomsayers who never tried.
      If things are already starting to look up for you, then there's your answer.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what if you are 30 and dont have an idea of who you are or what you want or what a good life would even be but you hate your own

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >what if you are 30 and dont have an idea of who you are or what you want
          Well you've got some thinking stuff over to do then, those aren't questions anyone else can answer for you.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What do you think I've been doing for two decades

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You tell me. You obviously haven't gotten very far with it.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm not gonna argue sorry

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't know man, maybe think about what the frick you want. I can't think of anything at the moment but getting a job, a car, and getting the frick out of here. Like I have for the last fricking 5 years in this god forsaken redneck shithole.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It sucks I'm still doing this at my age, I should at least have those things. It just comes into play with everything, it felt I was never allowed to move on with myself and my life, I was never allowed to get better. To improve, to develop, and reach milestones.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You have to deal with lost chances and opportunities in time, dating, making friends, etc will be hard because others in their lives have found solid ground by now and only need themselves and the people that they've surrounded themselves with over the years. Does this mean it's over? Yes, and no, from this point on it's like with everything else, life is what you make it.

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    get to 36, focus on self improvement. chasing women is strange. wwiii on pretty much. not telling you to go get yourself killed. just bein real.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well, you're not going to find someone, or even have friends if you don't put yourself out there. It's going to be hard now that I'm older. What's left at that age? Single Moms, the mentally ill, and professional women who were all about their careers and fricked up like I did?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        i never said dont put yourself out there. I said don't go asking every woman hey are you single. and what's left? it's who's left. and i'd be grateful. some men may never have a lasting relationship. afaik a majority of American marriages divorce, which may included recursive divorcees who marry again. and what's wrong with single moms, "mentally ill", and professional women.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Speaks for itself, professional women I see nothing wrong with.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        if anything is that is wrong.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't think I am.

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    if anything, that is, meaning*

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Seanonymous

    All you can do is move towards what you want. Also it's pain to lose weight. But once you lose the weight with proper self-conditioning and some cooking skills it can be fricking awesome to eat weight sustaining meals and even have the occasional cheat day in exchange for a light day (use the light day for chores or something).

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I am a 39y old 4/10 neet chud with no job, no house, no money, no future, nothing. But I won't settle for anything less than a 7/10 with a big ass and pretty face who is half my age.

    God owes me a beautiful white wife to make up for the cards I've been dealt in this life and for all the suffering I had to endure.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Godspeed anon

  36. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    On a tangetially related note to the OP, I have a date in 3 days and I don't remember how dates work because I havent been on one in 6 years (I'm 30 now).
    What do I do to not appear as a schizo? Do I just act like I do with my firends but flirty? Or is that too creepy?
    It's a coffee date so nothing serious but the woman in younger and way above my league so I don't know how to behave.
    For now I have pretended to be a funny idiot and it worked, but I fear that going like this will convince her I'm an actual idiot.
    Anons with more experience, what is the wisest course of action?

  37. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I am a 21 y.o. that has the same mentality. I don't want to date until I have my shit together and move out. I'm predicting by age 25, I'll start dating. I don't wanna be OP.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Start dating now and improve at the same time. Trust me. You're just putting it off because you're anxious. Your looks are just going to steadily decline.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Your looks are just going to steadily decline.
        I heard it gets easier to date as you get older as a man (25-30 range). I regularly workout and eat decently well.

        I have a problem of not having any friends right now. How am I supposed to get good pictures of me doing things without friends? I have to make some first

  38. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

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