Considering Giving Up Virginity

I haven't tried to find a bf (or a gf) really before, though I've had a few guys I was close to. They all either got girlfriends who made them stop hanging out with me, or got tired of me being afraid of a relationship and moved on.
I met a new guy who said he's fine using they/them for me since I mentioned I feel kind of in-between girl and boy, and he even offered to help me pick out some cool guy-ish clothes so I can look more masculine sometimes. Everybody kind of dismisses my feelings about gender right away, and I don't really like thinking of myself as a girl, so this was really special to me that he cares enough to acknowledge it.
I really don't want the same stuff that happened to others guys I've been friends with to happen here, where he meets a girl and she makes him stop hanging out with me. I don't want to be his girlfriend or anything, but I want to know that nobody's going to take him away.
Idk if it's just a crush, but I think I might be physically into him too. I've never really felt attracted to anyone, so I thought I've maybe been asexual all this time, but I get this warm feeling in my chest and face when I hang out with him that makes it hard to concentrate. I'm considering maybe giving him my first time, but I know I can only do that once so it needs to be special.

I'm sorry for the big text wall, but I'll just summarize. There's a guy I think I like(?) who I'm scared will eventually stop hanging out with me if he ever gets someone else as his gf. So I'm thinking of giving him my first time so he'll stay my friend and he won't need to find a gf anymore so we can still hang out.
I know this is probably a bad idea in some way, and I'm probably not great for considering it, but would this maybe work?

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I don't really understand...

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm not trying to be obtuse but I don't understand what that has to do with this. Are you just making fun of me or something?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            pic related

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    why can't you just be friends with him? why do you need to monopolize his time? how would having sex with him prevent him from being with other women unless you were deliberately deceitful and pretended you were in some sort of horrible situationship with him when you really just didn't want him to have someone else in his life?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's just that every other guy I've been friends with, when they got a gf they stopped hanging out with me. Some said it was because their gfs didn't like us hanging out together, others said it was because they liked me but didn't want to wait forever for me to like them back.

      I just don't want him to go away like my other guy friends have, I don't have many and I don't really get to try out doing guy stuff with my girl friends.

      >I'm a virgin femanon
      >I don't see myself as a girl

      Medium-high tier larp/bait. 7/10.

      I never called myself a femanon, I prefer not to think of myself that way. I know what my birth certificate says, I know what my body is, and all that. I'm not like denying nature or anything, I just want to get to be a part of guy stuff because guy stuff looks fun.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >doing guy stuff
        Like what?

        https://i.imgur.com/FrGrC8U.jpg

        I haven't tried to find a bf (or a gf) really before, though I've had a few guys I was close to. They all either got girlfriends who made them stop hanging out with me, or got tired of me being afraid of a relationship and moved on.
        I met a new guy who said he's fine using they/them for me since I mentioned I feel kind of in-between girl and boy, and he even offered to help me pick out some cool guy-ish clothes so I can look more masculine sometimes. Everybody kind of dismisses my feelings about gender right away, and I don't really like thinking of myself as a girl, so this was really special to me that he cares enough to acknowledge it.
        I really don't want the same stuff that happened to others guys I've been friends with to happen here, where he meets a girl and she makes him stop hanging out with me. I don't want to be his girlfriend or anything, but I want to know that nobody's going to take him away.
        Idk if it's just a crush, but I think I might be physically into him too. I've never really felt attracted to anyone, so I thought I've maybe been asexual all this time, but I get this warm feeling in my chest and face when I hang out with him that makes it hard to concentrate. I'm considering maybe giving him my first time, but I know I can only do that once so it needs to be special.

        I'm sorry for the big text wall, but I'll just summarize. There's a guy I think I like(?) who I'm scared will eventually stop hanging out with me if he ever gets someone else as his gf. So I'm thinking of giving him my first time so he'll stay my friend and he won't need to find a gf anymore so we can still hang out.
        I know this is probably a bad idea in some way, and I'm probably not great for considering it, but would this maybe work?

        Chances are those guys only wanted to frick you and that’s why they dissappeared once they’ve got a gf, the “gf doesn’t let me” is an excuse.
        Bros over hoes, that’s the guy code (you’re the bro in this case). If they put their gf over you they don’t really care about you.

        Well, if it isn’t an excuse then befriend their girlfriends or at least make them know you. If they’re cool they’ll be fine with your presence.

        No, having sex will not do anything.
        Also context is important, are you like thirteen or thirty? Also are you autistic?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I just want to get to be a part of guy stuff because guy stuff looks fun.
        that doesn't make you not a woman lol wtf

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm a virgin femanon
    >I don't see myself as a girl

    Medium-high tier larp/bait. 7/10.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Let him frick you, don't listen to anyone who tries to push you to save it for marriage and be his heckin valid enby qt

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm kind of nervous to do it, but thank you for the encouragement.

      >doing guy stuff
      Like what?
      [...]
      Chances are those guys only wanted to frick you and that’s why they dissappeared once they’ve got a gf, the “gf doesn’t let me” is an excuse.
      Bros over hoes, that’s the guy code (you’re the bro in this case). If they put their gf over you they don’t really care about you.

      Well, if it isn’t an excuse then befriend their girlfriends or at least make them know you. If they’re cool they’ll be fine with your presence.

      No, having sex will not do anything.
      Also context is important, are you like thirteen or thirty? Also are you autistic?

      >Like what?
      Hanging out with guys on like boys nights. I like to play video games with them, but I'm not really good at a lot of what guys I've known like to play because they seem to like the weird map games with like a million things to keep track of or the shooter games where it feels like I get shot before I even know how to play. It's still exciting though, and I feel like I get better after playing with them a while. The more fun is just hanging out with them than the actual gaming.
      >If they put their gf over you they don’t really care about you.
      That makes me sad. I thought of a lot of these guys as like my best friends.
      >Well, if it isn’t an excuse then befriend their girlfriends or at least make them know you. If they’re cool they’ll be fine with your presence.
      I did try this a few times, but it ended up they weren't interested in being friends because I couldn't convince them that I wasn't after their bfs.
      >Also context is important, are you like thirteen or thirty? Also are you autistic?
      I'm nineteen in two weeks. I've never been tested for autism as far as I can remember, but I worry I might be because I feel like I check a lot of the boxes for it and my family always talks about me like I might not be normal. I remember getting sent out of class to play with some blocks while someone watched me twice when I was very little, but I never heard anything about why they wanted me to do it and it didn't seem very much like it would have proven anything one way or another.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        > the weird map games with like a million things to keep track of or the shooter games where it feels like I get shot before I even know how to play
        Certified LAR. Don’t know why I even bother replying
        >boys nights
        And what do you do on these “boys nights”?
        >I’m 18
        That’s the thing, assuming your friends and their gfs are the same age

        Also you can form friend groups with guys. The keyword is groups. If you tell their gfs you’re their bfs friend they’ll be worried you’re cucking them, but if you are a part of a friend group which includes both of you then it’s not as sus.
        Ever tried hanging out with both the guy and his gf? Why not?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >And what do you do on these “boys nights”?
          I don't get to go to many, or often, and they've been with different groups so they vary a bit. My favorite time was watching movies on the couch while everyone was playing a game where we all took a drink any time a character on screen cried.
          >Also you can form friend groups with guys. The keyword is groups. If you tell their gfs you’re their bfs friend they’ll be worried you’re cucking them, but if you are a part of a friend group which includes both of you then it’s not as sus.
          >Ever tried hanging out with both the guy and his gf? Why not?
          I think being third wheel is kind of awkward. I don't really want to do that.
          The group idea is fun, but a lot of the times in the guy groups it's been that I only had one or two friends, and the other guys either didn't pay me any attention or they were more interested in sex and lost interest when I said I didn't want to do that.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do the right thing OP. Save yourself for marriage. Do not listen to people like , they just want to see you miserable. You said it yourself:
      >I know I can only do that once so it needs to be special.
      You should wait and until you have a proper commitment (i.e. marriage) in place. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is there anything else I could do instead to be sure this guy doesn't end up ditching me if or when he ends up finding a girl who will have sex with him? I don't even need him to be my bf, I just want to stay his friend.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Is there anything else I could do instead to be sure this guy doesn't end up ditching me if or when he ends up finding a girl who will have sex with him?
          No. Chances are he’ll just spend more time with her instead. You can’t control that.
          >I don't even need him to be my bf, I just want to stay his friend.
          Staying friends with guys as a girl doesn’t work very well unless all parties involved are reasonably mature. You could try to make him your boyfriend (no, sex is still not needed), but otherwise you’re better off finding a group of friends that doesn’t come with these sort of interpersonal issues.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >prefers not to think of herself as a girl
    >posts the girliest fricking OP pic imaginable
    OP, you will never be a man.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I feel kind of in-between girl and boy,
    why are you so fricking stupid

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I just want to get to be a part of guy stuff because guy stuff looks fun.
      that doesn't make you not a woman lol wtf

      Yeah but I feel like my inner self has sort of both masculine and feminine elements and that I don't fit neatly into either gender.

      >Is there anything else I could do instead to be sure this guy doesn't end up ditching me if or when he ends up finding a girl who will have sex with him?
      No. Chances are he’ll just spend more time with her instead. You can’t control that.
      >I don't even need him to be my bf, I just want to stay his friend.
      Staying friends with guys as a girl doesn’t work very well unless all parties involved are reasonably mature. You could try to make him your boyfriend (no, sex is still not needed), but otherwise you’re better off finding a group of friends that doesn’t come with these sort of interpersonal issues.

      I would want to make him my bf before I'd risk losing him from my life, but I'm kind of worried for what I should do and how things would change if we were bf and nbf.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Yeah but I feel like my inner self has sort of both masculine and feminine elements and that I don't fit neatly into either gender.
        Yeah, that's called your personality, and almost nobody perfectly aligns with their sex's behavioral stereotypes ("gender"). You're not suddenly not a woman just because you don't feel perfectly feminine all the time or like things that guys usually do. The stuff they are teaching you kids is bollix. The only truly substantive aspect of gender is your biological sex.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Ok but biology isn't everything, there's like a social element to it too? I don't want to be regarded as a woman socially. I want to be regarded as neither man or women, kind of inbetween.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            the social stratification and rigidity between the sexes in the west has virtually disappeared so your request is just bizarre, the only actual material social aspect left is your biology
            biology absolutely is everything in that sense because the other aspects you're talking about don't even really exist, all that exists are simple aggregate tendencies ("guys like football") which I must emphasize just refer to populations and are not defining aspects of an individual
            I know this is hard to agree with because you've probably been bombarded with miasmic new age gender bullshit during your formative years, but this is the ground truth of the situation: You are female/a woman because of your sex, and the other things are just your personality and tastes. Liking things that males tend to like does not make you a different class of person, and wanting to be referred to as some in between is daft because your underlying of what it is to be a man or woman is warped.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    why throw away your virginity to a random dude you just met

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ok several things
    Don't frick him just to keep him as a friend, you're just trying to trick him with sex. Frick him to be in a relationship with him if you want to be in a relationship which it sounds like you do. Otherwise if you frick and he develops feelings and you say no, you just led the guy on and kinda used him
    On the gender thing. I'm a guy. Born a guy, look like a guy, sound like a guy. I have both "masculine" and "feminine" aspects to my personality. It's not an issue for me. You can hang out with guys as a woman and do "guy" things. These masculine or feminine things are social constructs, there's nothing about having a pussy that makes you a better cook and there's nothing about having a penis that means you have to like cars and sports. I'm not saying you can't be nonbinary, I'm just coming from more of a maybe outdated "gender is a social construct" camp so I'm trying to understand your perspective
    Also nothing wrong with fricking before marriage personally, I don't think your first time needs to be magical or special. As a person with a vegana, it might in fact suck for you because it isn't always easy fitting a penis in there the first time

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I know I definitely want to be his friend and hang out with him. The other feelings I'm still sorting out, idk if it's just a crush or something more.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Either go full send or don't go down the sex route at all. You are playing with fire by having sex with a guy who you are already friends with, you're inviting his infatuation with you. Don't do that if you're not ready to at least try out a relationship with him. What's your hangups about actually being with him? What about the gender stuff I asked about?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          #

          Dude you sound autistic, if you actually are then just trust me on the following - only have sex with someone you love and knew for a long time. Fricking your friends or using sex for personal advantage or to manipulate someone is a no no. Even if it won’t be a downward spiral (Altough it always is). Especially if you’re a virgin, virginity has value. Also if you don’t give someone sex and they distance themselves from you then they essentially revealed what they were looking for, they go in the trash.

          Also you’ve mentioned you were having a drinking game with your friends at a party.
          If a guy wants to make you drunk, especially at a party, it’s a massive red flag. Chances are those dudes were indeed only seeking sex.

          And society will only treat you as a girl, a boy or a freak. People that present thrmselves as NB are simply treated as freaks or women/men if they’re not NB enough, there is no inbetween.
          Btw being a tomboy is the default for autistic girls, literally what you’re describing is the gender norm.

          The warm feelings you get around him are romantic but yes, you also need to trust your brain not just your feelings, maybe you don’t conciously like him, just emotionally

          #

          the social stratification and rigidity between the sexes in the west has virtually disappeared so your request is just bizarre, the only actual material social aspect left is your biology
          biology absolutely is everything in that sense because the other aspects you're talking about don't even really exist, all that exists are simple aggregate tendencies ("guys like football") which I must emphasize just refer to populations and are not defining aspects of an individual
          I know this is hard to agree with because you've probably been bombarded with miasmic new age gender bullshit during your formative years, but this is the ground truth of the situation: You are female/a woman because of your sex, and the other things are just your personality and tastes. Liking things that males tend to like does not make you a different class of person, and wanting to be referred to as some in between is daft because your underlying of what it is to be a man or woman is warped.

          #
          I didn't feel like it was that weird to be non-binary. I just wanted to be seen as a guy enough that guys would be fine treating me like one of the guys. A lot of the time it seems like guys try to look after me like I can't do it myself. They let their other friends walk home in the dark but they'll take a break from the fun to offer me a ride home because they don't see me as someone who can take care of themself.
          If you tell a guy they're acting that way they deny it and get mad. I want to be treated the same as the other guys, I don't want to get cut off after one drink because they think I can't handle it while they let their other friends get drunk enough to pass out.
          I know a lot of gender is just social construct, and that you don't have to be a guy to like guy things or a girl to like girl things. But people act differently to girls than guys, and I just want to feel like part of both groups.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't want to come off as if I'm trying to convince you not be NB but I do want to understand your reasoning and to kinda make you consider it more. Guys will absolutely walk you home, they will absolutely try to limit how much you drink. Part of that is gender, part of that is straight up your birth sex. As an AFAB, you are smaller, you are weaker, you have a lower tolerance. Even if you change your outfits or your outward presentation, those facts will not change. Pretty much any average male is going to be substantially stronger and larger than you. I would not let an AFAB friend walk home alone at night regardless of being NB or not. It's just the world we live in unfortunately, I've also had many women just straight up ask me to walk them home. It's a real safety issue, same thing with drinking. Lower tolerance but if you get real fricked up you're more likely to be a victim of SA. Not gonna lie, in many ways it frickin sucks to be AFAB but idk how much of it is really in your hands to change. Personally, socially I treat my male and female friends mostly equally in terms of what I'd want to discuss or do for fun or whatever as long as I know each individual friend is down or into it. But at the same time I'm not letting my female friends walk home alone at night because that would be insane just on a logistical senseb

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I would not let an AFAB friend walk home alone at night regardless of being NB or not.
            That's a big part of it. "I would not let". You're coming from a position of care and stuff I know, but that's the same feeling that drives other guys to say that about other things. The feeling that if a woman doesn't have your protection its too dangerous for her to do X, Y, or Z. I don't want people to be out there trying to act like my dad, going over my head in decisions because they believe they know better for me than I do.
            When I still lived with my dad, he wouldn't even let me answer the door when people knocked, because he thought I could get snatched and hauled off by them before he'd have time to get to the front of the house. I'm not helpless. I can do all the same stuff guys can. I can't stand the idea of becoming a burden to people because they believe I need them to take care of me.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I can do all the same stuff guys can
            Anon, I get that you were maybe smothered as a kid but I can guarantee you, you can't do everything a guy can. Just being realistic, the odds of a woman being assaulted or mugged or robbed walking alone are astronomically higher than for a man, also just a single person walking around is much riskier than if theres a duo walking around, regardless of gender. Depending on the place, I might not even let a male friend walk home alone at night. You gotta be realistic here dude, I'm not saying you can't open doors for yourself or you can't talk to strangers but you have to understand that shit is real dangerous for everyone out here, especially AFAB. Like who is gonna have an easier time intimidating away or fending off a crazy bum at night, my 5'3" 120 pound gf or 6' 180 pound me? On some level you have to realize that there is a large gap in physical strength between AMAB and AFAB. Socially, ya do whatever you want, guy or not, get the jobs date whoever frick whoever, who gives a shit male or female in that regard. But in terms of safety there is an undeniable difference. Back in undergrad we had services where women would call security to walk them home and people would take that shit up. In fact, it was so popular that security was always late which is why my female friends would call me to do it because they were scared to be out by themselves so late

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nobody can patronize you. You’re the one who decides to feel patronized or not. If you become confident it won’t be an issue
            I hope you don’t tell people IRL stuff like “I’m capable of doing it myself”, “I’m not a kid” or “I don’t need help”

            Imagine you’re an IT nerd and someone assumes you don’t know how to turn on a computer and offers help.
            An insecure person will feel offended and convey that they’re perfectly capable to do it
            A normal person will stay low key and let him turn it on because he doesn’t give a frick

            Btw showing that you felt insecure has an opposite effect, people WILL think you’re indeed incompetent or in this case go all “haha woman” “sure thing girly you won’t get drunk after the second glass wink-wink”

            If you want to be treated like a man then start acting like one, the feelings you’re writing about are the most woman thing imaginable
            > you're still pushing for how it should be that way anyway?
            These things are largely out of your control
            > I don't want to let it stop bothering me because then the guys will think I agree with them that I need extra support.
            It’s the opposite. If you want to be treated like an adult then telling people that you’re not a child is the worst course of action. When grandma treats little Timmy like a toddler and Tim wants to appear mature he should play along or go offtopic, and not adress the situation

            I’ve previously provided a list of 6 possible reasons on why you are treated that way in one type of situations. Out of all of that you decided that the reason they behave that way was because they think women are lesser, this line of thinking shows a lot, altough it is easily fixable. Also acknowledge that AFAB’s indeed come with lots of disadvantages, it’s not shameful

            Hopefully people will treat you more like you want to be treated. Altough there’s a limit, you will never be treated as a man unfortunately

            I guess I get your points. I just don't like feeling like people expect me to depend on them. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough and it makes me want to show them I can handle it myself so that I can feel like I am good enough.

            You are clearly really insecure. You're also dumb and just don't understand guys at all.
            You think if you don't frick this guy he's going to abandon you but if you frick him he'll be your friend? That's not how it works. Either he is just fine with being your friend and you don't need frick him. Or you frick him, and you continue fricking him, and as soon as you stop fricking him he stops talking to you. Even if he wanted to stay friends with you, he will eventually stop because being friends with a girl you had sex with will not be okay with future girlfriends. It will be way less okay than the other guys who said their girlfriends had issues.
            Friends don't have sex with each other. Having sex is not a way to make or keep friends. If you want something more than friendship then that's fine, do what you want.

            What would you suggest if I think I might want more than just friendship but I'm not sure?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Get to know the guy
            Over time you’ll either start liking him either less or more. This is important as you don’t want to start things with a fricker, even though he doesn’t seem like one to you now he might easily reveal his negative side over time that will dissapoint you (if he’s shitty)
            If he’s good become closer to him, reveal stuff about yourself, spend time alone etc. Do it step by step, don’t say you like him or that you’re dating, just gradually move in the grey zone. Also you’ll scout if he likes you back

            And have a positive view of yourself, if you yourself would be sure that you’re capable then the insecurity will go away. If you analyze everything and realize you’re shit then the insecurity will also go away as you’ll be open about not being good enough. RN you’re in the weird spot where you’re not so sure yourself.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            > A lot of the time it seems like guys try to look after me like I can't do it myself
            A) People think that something’s not right with you mentally (you mentioned it yourself) and you need assistance
            B) They would be judged if they don’t
            C) Chivalry
            D) They want to spend extra time with you
            E) They care about you more than for others
            F) They want to show their interest
            Like you see there are many possibilities
            > They let their other friends walk home in the dark but they'll take a break from the fun to offer me a ride home
            Women are prime targets for crime. It is indeed way more dangerous as a woman especially if you’re small.
            Also like I’ve mentioned maybe you’re the fun and they’re not taking a break
            > I don't want to get cut off after one drink because they think I can't handle it while they let their other friends get drunk enough to pass out
            Women need less to get drunk, you can’t change that.
            Also drunk women get raped at parties, men not so much
            >I want xxx
            Yes, and? You can’t

            You basically want extra priviliges
            Except for the priviliges you don’t want because they patronize you? Even though these are positive things, your entire post is basically “I get a helping hand all the time, life sucks” kek. You need self esteem to not be bothered by it

            Also what’s up with the hashes? Inconsistent LARPing?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            You understand why it bothers me, I don't want to feel patronized, and you're still pushing for how it should be that way anyway? It feels heartless, like not even considering the feelings behind all that just because they aren't materially relevant to the situations.
            >You need self esteem to not be bothered by it
            I don't want to let it stop bothering me because then the guys will think I agree with them that I need extra support.
            >Also what’s up with the hashes?
            I've been having a rough day so I'm still in bed and typing everything out on my phone. I've been making some typos because of it.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nobody can patronize you. You’re the one who decides to feel patronized or not. If you become confident it won’t be an issue
            I hope you don’t tell people IRL stuff like “I’m capable of doing it myself”, “I’m not a kid” or “I don’t need help”

            Imagine you’re an IT nerd and someone assumes you don’t know how to turn on a computer and offers help.
            An insecure person will feel offended and convey that they’re perfectly capable to do it
            A normal person will stay low key and let him turn it on because he doesn’t give a frick

            Btw showing that you felt insecure has an opposite effect, people WILL think you’re indeed incompetent or in this case go all “haha woman” “sure thing girly you won’t get drunk after the second glass wink-wink”

            If you want to be treated like a man then start acting like one, the feelings you’re writing about are the most woman thing imaginable
            > you're still pushing for how it should be that way anyway?
            These things are largely out of your control
            > I don't want to let it stop bothering me because then the guys will think I agree with them that I need extra support.
            It’s the opposite. If you want to be treated like an adult then telling people that you’re not a child is the worst course of action. When grandma treats little Timmy like a toddler and Tim wants to appear mature he should play along or go offtopic, and not adress the situation

            I’ve previously provided a list of 6 possible reasons on why you are treated that way in one type of situations. Out of all of that you decided that the reason they behave that way was because they think women are lesser, this line of thinking shows a lot, altough it is easily fixable. Also acknowledge that AFAB’s indeed come with lots of disadvantages, it’s not shameful

            Hopefully people will treat you more like you want to be treated. Altough there’s a limit, you will never be treated as a man unfortunately

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dude you sound autistic, if you actually are then just trust me on the following - only have sex with someone you love and knew for a long time. Fricking your friends or using sex for personal advantage or to manipulate someone is a no no. Even if it won’t be a downward spiral (Altough it always is). Especially if you’re a virgin, virginity has value. Also if you don’t give someone sex and they distance themselves from you then they essentially revealed what they were looking for, they go in the trash.

    Also you’ve mentioned you were having a drinking game with your friends at a party.
    If a guy wants to make you drunk, especially at a party, it’s a massive red flag. Chances are those dudes were indeed only seeking sex.

    And society will only treat you as a girl, a boy or a freak. People that present thrmselves as NB are simply treated as freaks or women/men if they’re not NB enough, there is no inbetween.
    Btw being a tomboy is the default for autistic girls, literally what you’re describing is the gender norm.

    The warm feelings you get around him are romantic but yes, you also need to trust your brain not just your feelings, maybe you don’t conciously like him, just emotionally

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You are clearly really insecure. You're also dumb and just don't understand guys at all.
    You think if you don't frick this guy he's going to abandon you but if you frick him he'll be your friend? That's not how it works. Either he is just fine with being your friend and you don't need frick him. Or you frick him, and you continue fricking him, and as soon as you stop fricking him he stops talking to you. Even if he wanted to stay friends with you, he will eventually stop because being friends with a girl you had sex with will not be okay with future girlfriends. It will be way less okay than the other guys who said their girlfriends had issues.
    Friends don't have sex with each other. Having sex is not a way to make or keep friends. If you want something more than friendship then that's fine, do what you want.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I really don't want the same stuff that happened to others guys I've been friends with to happen here, where he meets a girl and she makes him stop hanging out with me. I don't want to be his girlfriend or anything, but I want to know that nobody's going to take him away.
    aka, I don't want this guy to get a relationship and stop giving me attention, but I don't want to be in a relationship with him while he keeps giving me all his attention.

    >I want to lose my virginity to him so he doesn't get a gf and sticks around without the promise of more sex/relationship
    what makes you so special that you can lead a guy on like that --- just let him go if you aren't gonna date him afterward. Just because your virginity is special to you doesn't mean it has to be special to him too. If you aren't his girlfriend, he can do what he wants

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I wouldn't be unhappy in a relationship with him. I just felt like hoping for that might be hoping too much so I was just going to be happy with just being friends if that was all I could manage with him.

      It is IMPOSSIBLE to stay just friends with someone you had sex with. It will destroy you.

      I can only imagine it'd hurt a lot. I've been dreading the idea.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It is IMPOSSIBLE to stay just friends with someone you had sex with. It will destroy you.

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