Do I send this letter to an ex-lover of mine?

She blocked me on everything in January because I wouldn't commit to her and she convinced herself I was abusive because I shouted at her and called her crazy once. But I know that's only because she didn't get what she wanted, a real relationship with me.
Anyway I saw her for the first time again recently. I was in town and driving and saw her really recognizable jeep parked on the main university street. Thought, "What are the odds, she's actually somewhere on campus right now" as I drove up and right then a girl started crossing the street to the car and it was her. She did a double take looking at me on the cross and I slowed almost to a halt as I got to her car to make sure it was her. I just waved at her and then drove off while she looked at me. I should've gotten out and talked to her, she was alone with none of her stupid friends around. But I legitimately had a fight or flight response seeing her, last time I saw her she did some fake overreaction to me as if she was terrified of me and I'm scared of her ruining my life.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's unintelligible, just like this stupid thread: confusing and rambling and lacking relevant detail.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      What's confusing? What details do you want?
      I think the letter is pretty direct and honest. She'll know it's from me. I'm not signing it or writing a return address but she'll know.
      She always said she wanted to get little letters or notes. And this is the only way I have of contacting her now.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What's the point? It doesn't say anything.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I want her to get in contact with me. It's all up to her. She knows this

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >I want her to get in contact with me
        It doesn't say that. Are you expecting some mind reading?

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No dude, no.

    You guys are exes for a reason and that letter's a bit passive aggressive. Just let her live her life and you live yours. Focus on improving your life and getting out of your comfort zone.

    I'm also getting over a girl, but I definitely am not writing her anything. She tossed the last thing I wrote for her anyway.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not super hung up over her, she made that really easy when she pulled a 180 at the end and decided to act as terrible as she could. Pretty sure because of her friends. I kept it a situationship because I couldn't commit to her.
      Anyway, I was afraid of it coming across as passive-aggressive. I feel wistful really. I just want her to know that a lot of things were left unsaid and that she is making it hard on herself and me out of bitterness and that that's not a good thing.
      >You guys are exes for a reason
      with all due respect you know nothing about us except what I included in this thread which is nothing.
      The point is I don't want to badger her but just extend the hand so to speak. I literally saw her in person, looked her in the eye, and kept my word on not talking to her.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      also, best of luck to you on getting over your girl

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    So, do you anons think I should make my letter longer and detailed? This was my gut instinct, she knows me and my melancholic personality and so I think this would come across as a fairly genuine expression of my wistfulness. Just a lament of how things ended up

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You will have time

    First of all, that letter is worded and written by 10 years old girl. You are a man, the hunter, the warrior, the frick are you doing son. Pathetic

    >She blocked me on everything in January because I wouldn't commit to her

    No. Pay attention, this is important. She was unhappy with your weak pathetic whiny ass for a while. Then Christmas hits, then its new year. Valentine day is coming. Women sit there, after new year, and think. Am I really going to spent my time with this clueless boring motherfricker? I can do better. Her feelings are gone, her girlfriends know the story, everyone is looking for the last straw to exit you. Why, how, reasons, words doesnt matter. What matters is she doesnt live you because you have no idea what are you doing. When woman loves you she will tolerate ANYTHING no commitment, you seeing other girls, you seeing her once in a while, whatever

    You had her, you lost her, women dont think, they react to the way you make them feel in the moment

    >she didn't get what she wanted, a real relationship with me

    No, she didnt get a man with balls and experience. You tricked her

    >and I slowed almost to a halt as I got to her car to make sure it was her

    Here it is. Here is the stalkerish creepy attitude. Thats what women and clueless boys do

    >should've gotten out and talked to her, she was alone with none of her stupid friends around

    Hey, girl, I know I disappointed you, and chased you so hard you dont want to even see me for a second, so I will stalk you, scare you and chase you some more, because I am an emotional weakling with no other pussy, no awareness and nothing else better to do

    >she did some fake overreaction to me as if she was terrified of me and I'm scared of her ruining my life

    Pay attention class. This is one of the most repelling and desire killing traits humans can have. Being so much self absorbed, that you SEE the signals, you recognize the message, but you turn it 180 degrees in your blindness

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Why are you typing like that? Do you suffer from mental moronation?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        English is my third language, and I do this as mental shadow boxing, to practice what I would do in these situations. So I dont care to think it through or proofread it. If you want knowledge derived from dozens of sources and years of practice, you will have to work for it. If not, okay

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          t. Coach Corey Wayne's best pupil

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Corey is good as vanilla entry level shit. He is a bachelor businessman, so women are like a secondary hobby to him. He doesnt care about particular women, just about getting and rotating women in general, which he got from his teacher Doc Love (when the wine bottle is empty, the party is over). Theres much much more to learn above his one book. I recommend it as the easiest shit to understand and accept

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >First of all, that letter is worded and written by 10 years old girl.
      I was afraid of coming off too passive, yes
      >When woman loves you she will tolerate ANYTHING no commitment, you seeing other girls, you seeing her once in a while, whatever
      Yeah she was super into me even though I wouldn't commit to her and was intentionally distant at times because I thought she was getting too close
      >No, she didnt get a man with balls and experience. You tricked her
      She was satisfied for almost a full year. The end of 2023 coincided with a lot of academic troubles for me and basically I had to take the semester off. So that probably has to do with it
      >Here is the stalkerish creepy attitude.
      How is it stalkerish? I think you're too afraid of coming across as "creepy." I ran into her coincidentally. I didn't talk to her partly because she told me not to and partly because I wasn't expecting it at all
      >I know I disappointed you, and chased you so hard you dont want to even see me for a second
      No, I explicitly did the opposite and "didn't do enough for her." she sent long rambling texts where she convinced herself I wouldn't see her and was actually terrible for her.
      >being so much self absorbed, that you SEE the signals, you recognize the message, but you turn it 180 degrees in your blindness
      No, YOU don't see the signals. I'm not turning anything 180 degrees. I saw her and was reminded of her and can't get her out of my mind so I want to send her a letter mainly for me. Again, I DID NOT attempt to contact this girl at all since the beginning of the year.

      >I want her to get in contact with me
      It doesn't say that. Are you expecting some mind reading?

      No I'm reiterating what I said before. Which you wouldn't know about

      Jesus Christ I see why she's scared of you

      Can you elaborate?

      I did something like that but in my case it was a girl with narcissistic personality disorder that discarded me(i only realized of her personality disorder just a weeks later she dumped me), so i wrote like 4 letters that were more like a therapy for myself and to put in order everything and to understand what happened as a way to explain to myself everything in third person and make me understand that it wasn't not my fault and that she is a damaged person with a mental illiness.

      Sorry to hear that anon. In my case I think she's actually quite a good girl who just always gets what she wants so she went nuclear when she didn't. Common among women

      Did you shout at her and call her crazy?
      Were you unaware this is a bit unhinged behavior?

      Are you aware of the actions she did?
      "no consequences for women." And then you call me the unhinged one. lmao

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you do, improve your 5-year-old's handwriting first.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jesus Christ I see why she's scared of you

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I did something like that but in my case it was a girl with narcissistic personality disorder that discarded me(i only realized of her personality disorder just a weeks later she dumped me), so i wrote like 4 letters that were more like a therapy for myself and to put in order everything and to understand what happened as a way to explain to myself everything in third person and make me understand that it wasn't not my fault and that she is a damaged person with a mental illiness.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Did you shout at her and call her crazy?
    Were you unaware this is a bit unhinged behavior?

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    "Sorry, you probably think I'm a stalker from that time you caught me stalking you"

    "I wish you hadn't made me stalk you"

    oh yeah, that letter is definitely going to dampen some panties.

    The reality is she's totally right to want to be miles away from you, and no, I'm not some woke feminazi "men are trash" chick here.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      pretty shit bait

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    after some further consideration: I remembered all the things that happened at the end, and all my hard feelings. I'm still going to send a letter, but make it more about that. I'm also taking out the part where I apologize even though I didn't do anything wrong, which some anons pointed out looks terrible, in their own troll way.
    >(her name),
    >You startled me the other day
    >I hope I didn't startle you
    >I wish the bitterness between us didn't exist
    >A part of me would have liked to talk to you very much
    >But I know it's just because I sooner remember how things were,
    >instead of how they are
    >That's all I suppose
    idk what to put at the end. If anyone has an idea better than fricking "that's all I suppose" bugs bunny ending I would appreciate it

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'd highly recommend you wait a week before you send this letter. Emotions can blind us from reason, if you're not conscious of the emotion, they can be visceral and control your state of mind in ways you cannot even conceive. The only cure for this is time. Write the letter, but stow it away, and when time has passed you can edit the writing, or evaluate if you still even want to send it. Best of luck

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You're right. Emotions can blind. But my life has always been a story of inaction. I think to myself: 5 years from now, am I going to regret sending the letter when the iron was hot, or not sending it? and not sending it seems like it is far worse for me.
        I slept on what I wrote last night, read the responses here, and mulled everything over on a nice afternoon walk. This lead to me revising the letter, so reflection is good, but it has to be balanced. All I do is think, overthink.
        I think I will wait another day, the post office is closed Sundays anyway so there's no need to drop it off right now anyway. If I read it tomorrow and am still comfortable sending it then I will. Frick pussyfooting around, this is something I want to say and the most direct way to say it.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Last call. Any more suggestions/advice?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Sending a letter is not a reason to "strike while the iron's hot", that analogy probably only applies to warfare strategy, or asking chicks out. Yet for writing an INTELLIGENT, ARTICULATE letter (I cannot stress this enough) you will need TIME. I myself have wanted to say many things, apologies, confessions, to all manners of friends and exes, and it has only been through careful time and deliberation that I have realized that the concept of sending the letter was foolish, and I would be better off having written nothing at all. There have been good arguments already posed here for not sending anything, and minding your own business, but I think you are simply too young and inexperienced to understand this. In that case then, go ahead, send the letter. Some people need to learn the hard way. I almost guarantee you will come to regret it, and this woman will toss it away without a second thought, or will resent you even more (typical). Though the best lessons are mistakes, and you should ideally come away from it a wiser man. Some years from now, along with a few more relationships, and you won't even remember this ignominious letter. good luck kiddo.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He is not listening, he just want us to validate his moronic and creepy actions. Let him do these mistakes. Years later, after more similar break ups he will be ready

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >I myself have wanted to say many things, apologies, confessions, to all manners of friends and exes, and it has only been through careful time and deliberation that I have realized that the concept of sending the letter was foolish, and I would be better off having written nothing at all.
        So you chickened out and never sent any letters?

        He is not listening, he just want us to validate his moronic and creepy actions. Let him do these mistakes. Years later, after more similar break ups he will be ready

        I already did one complete revision based on feedback. Sorry I didn't take your "advice," that being "you're a stalker/creepy/stupid."

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No stop, you are a manipulative bastard and you are just going to hurt her again

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, shes faking it and op is just being nice. He should man up, letter is chicken shit. He should surprise her at her home, preferably at night so her stupid friends wont intervene. With a gun, to fake a suicide attempt, so she will feel how much she hurt him by faking her fear of him. Multiple calls from unknown unblocked numbers with silence on his end can also work. You have to break this crazy b***h into remembering how good things were. She must come to her senses

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You are moronic and didn't read the thread

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    TL;DR
    >be OP
    >would not commit
    >shout at her, call her crazy
    >says I'm abusive (probably manipulation)
    >blocks me 4 months ago
    >see her alone only recently on campus
    >slow down, wave, drive off
    >regret not getting out to talk
    >oh btw last time she saw me she did a freaky terrified overreaction

    1. seeing you stare her down probably gave her stalker vibes
    2. saying that you've seen her first recently but having this "freakout" incident before makes her earlier reaction even more justified
    3. you're trying to force communication on her after she BLOCKED you
    4. you are projecting your fricked up delusions on her, that she was "overreacting" and that she blocked you only because you wouldn't commit
    5. HOWEVER if your assumption about her behavior is correct, then she is extremely toxic and you'll end up in jail or paying alimony and/or child support

    Please move on.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >shout at her, call her crazy
      that's not at all why I called her crazy. It was a totally separate incident
      >gave her stalker vibes
      this is such a meaningless sentiment and the fact you're telling me means for once I actually think you the anon on here is a woman. I've had this same woman ask me if I was "stalking her" early on because I asked if a bus line she used was good. She asked how I knew that, totally forgetting that she told me herself the day before. The feminine demand for being stalked far exceeds the supply
      >2. saying that you've seen her first recently but having this "freakout" incident before makes her earlier reaction even more justified
      ESL?
      >3. you're trying to force communication on her after she BLOCKED you
      I suppose this part is true. A note is harmless though
      >you are projecting
      dropped. You have no idea the details of the relationship. I am aware of the issues she raised with me
      > HOWEVER if your assumption about her behavior is correct, then she is extremely toxic and you'll end up in jail or paying alimony and/or child support
      No like I said, she is just young (20) and doesn't know how to deal with some stuff. The jail part though, I don't know. Maybe she'll go all in on the victim complex thing and really ruin my life. I can't live my life in fear though
      >Please move on.
      I have

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks for the broader context.

        Women are literally weak, they fear men deep inside their heart, she might even have some sort of earlier trauma that makes her paranoid about being stalked, or assuming that anyone interested would watch her from the shadows.

        Wish you the best with your next ship.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Well it's done with. I saw the mailman coming so I quickly sealed the envelope and put it in the mailbox, he just drove off. I'm glad I got that off my chest, I feel better already. Many thanks for the feedback anons, less so the mentally ill feedback, but I can bear all blows to make sure I make the best decision.
    Maybe I'll make an update thread soon asking for advice on the legal threats soon to be bearing down on me apparently, lmao

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >hey anons should i do this?
      >no OP, you should not
      >welp too bad i did it anyway lol

      another successful /adv/ thread

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      really eager for the restraining order, arent we? you're so fricking weird, you know that
      she's going to send a photo of it to her friends and they're going to be laughing hysterically all while utterly terrified of this freak geek that sent a LOVE LETTER to one of their friends. ya fricked up, OP.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Maybe I'll make an update thread soon asking for advice on the legal threats soon

      you wouldn't take the advice we give you anyway, so what's the point?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      wow nevermind ur fricked. just beg for no response and not a restraining order and community service

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    you talk like a gay and your shits all moronic

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    looks gay

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >With advice you take the quality over the quantity of it. Hope this helps

    your definition of quality is if it fits your fantasy narrative.

    >No I just didn't take YOUR advice

    case in point

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No.

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    please just move on. this can get you sued. if she blocked you is beacause she doesnt want to talk with you. respect that. stop making this mental movie about everything being her friends fault and shit. please anon just MOVE ON. trust me, i have been thru a similar situation and the letter just fricked everything even more..

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >She blocked me on everything
    >Should I contact her
    No anon you should not. She decided that she no longer wants contact. Respect her decision.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This guy gets it.
      At any moment she chooses to she can unblock you and contact you. You sending letters and shit when you're blocked will come off as harassment. SHE BLOCKED YOU. An accidental meeting doesn't change that. Wait for her to reach out to you. That is all you can do.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This guy gets it.
      At any moment she chooses to she can unblock you and contact you. You sending letters and shit when you're blocked will come off as harassment. SHE BLOCKED YOU. An accidental meeting doesn't change that. Wait for her to reach out to you. That is all you can do.

      >At any moment she chooses to she can unblock you and contact you
      No she wouldn't, women are passive. Half the time when women do shit like this they want the man to break down their barriers in some grand romantic gesture. The other half of the time they actually mean it. It's 50/50 for OP

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        No means yes!

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You have the right information, but you have no experience

        Women CRAVE you to break barriers when they DESIRE you. Because it signals that not only you are capable confident man, you are experienced, aware and you have self respect to chase only responsive women

        Pursuing someone who is running away is serial killer behaviour, signals low value and zero game

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Pursuing someone
          Not pursuing her

          after some further consideration: I remembered all the things that happened at the end, and all my hard feelings. I'm still going to send a letter, but make it more about that. I'm also taking out the part where I apologize even though I didn't do anything wrong, which some anons pointed out looks terrible, in their own troll way.
          >(her name),
          >You startled me the other day
          >I hope I didn't startle you
          >I wish the bitterness between us didn't exist
          >A part of me would have liked to talk to you very much
          >But I know it's just because I sooner remember how things were,
          >instead of how they are
          >That's all I suppose
          idk what to put at the end. If anyone has an idea better than fricking "that's all I suppose" bugs bunny ending I would appreciate it

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Nevermind he sent the letter already. I'd like to say i came into the thread too late but sad truth was he was always sending it.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      ngl reading the most recent posts here kinda spiked my blood pressure.
      I really am sensitive to feedback, despite what my foolhardy posts may suggest. I was mostly kidding about the restraining order but the anons posting about it actually make me nervous

      This really isn't the case. I responded to all serious criticism in the thread. See my first mass reply

      >First of all, that letter is worded and written by 10 years old girl.
      I was afraid of coming off too passive, yes
      >When woman loves you she will tolerate ANYTHING no commitment, you seeing other girls, you seeing her once in a while, whatever
      Yeah she was super into me even though I wouldn't commit to her and was intentionally distant at times because I thought she was getting too close
      >No, she didnt get a man with balls and experience. You tricked her
      She was satisfied for almost a full year. The end of 2023 coincided with a lot of academic troubles for me and basically I had to take the semester off. So that probably has to do with it
      >Here is the stalkerish creepy attitude.
      How is it stalkerish? I think you're too afraid of coming across as "creepy." I ran into her coincidentally. I didn't talk to her partly because she told me not to and partly because I wasn't expecting it at all
      >I know I disappointed you, and chased you so hard you dont want to even see me for a second
      No, I explicitly did the opposite and "didn't do enough for her." she sent long rambling texts where she convinced herself I wouldn't see her and was actually terrible for her.
      >being so much self absorbed, that you SEE the signals, you recognize the message, but you turn it 180 degrees in your blindness
      No, YOU don't see the signals. I'm not turning anything 180 degrees. I saw her and was reminded of her and can't get her out of my mind so I want to send her a letter mainly for me. Again, I DID NOT attempt to contact this girl at all since the beginning of the year.
      [...]
      No I'm reiterating what I said before. Which you wouldn't know about
      [...]
      Can you elaborate?
      [...]
      Sorry to hear that anon. In my case I think she's actually quite a good girl who just always gets what she wants so she went nuclear when she didn't. Common among women
      [...]
      Are you aware of the actions she did?
      "no consequences for women." And then you call me the unhinged one. lmao

      , no one actually responded to anything in it. No I'm not gonna blindly take advice from strangers on perhaps the mentally ill, crabs in a bucket place on the internet
      Oh well. Here's hoping my gut instinct and my full knowledge of the situation makes me right in the end. What's done is done

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        you're fricked, bud. sending a letter is literally documenting your crime. she doesn't want to talk to you and made that very clear.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >ngl reading the most recent posts here kinda spiked my blood pressure.
        I think that's part of the issue, it sounds like you have hasty reactions to external events and aren't very skilled at letting things go, or managing your emotions. I don't have any advice for that but knowing is half the battle, I hope you're able to cultivate a sense of peace and centeredness.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >With advice you take the quality over the quantity of it
    That's not what you did, you already had a bias towards one course of action and made this thread hoping for an anon to confirm your bias

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She ain't worth it bro.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Date around and maybe she'll come back on her own. Don't let her get to you.

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