First time having sex yesterday and couldn't get hard, need urgent advice

don't know what went wrong. I (M22) had sex for the first time in my life yesterday, it was with a foreign girl I met with Tinder so it was casual sex but despite all the foreplay where I get her naked, kiss all over her body, massage her boobs and fingering I couldn't get hard at all.

Is it because I was nervous because was literally the first time doing it? I am so depressed right now, how could I not get hard with that pretty girl.

She told me to met her the first week to try again, and I am afraid to fail again. What can I do to improve

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  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    stop. don't do it unless you love them. you're going to get hurt when you share your body with someone who is okay with casual sex. you're not getting hard because she's probably got a disease and you're getting a message from God to stop.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      But that doesn't answer the reason why I didnt get hard

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Where was the girl from?

      Kek

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        She is irish, i am spanish

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I don't know what kind of coincidence is that but I have the exact opposite problem&fear. I'm (M18) going to have sex for the first time with my girlfriend in like 5 hours or so. I am extremely scared about cumming in 10 seconds and frick it up. Super nervous, I guess I'm gonna drink some otherwise I will cause myself a great trauma. God...

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        At that age you should be easy to get it hard again after cumming fast, it's fine justkeep going

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Is it because I was nervous because was literally the first time doing it? I am so depressed right now, how could I not get hard with that pretty girl.

    1) Nervous, 2) Your body is not yet conditioned to get aroused by a live woman. It will come with experience. Until it happens, just use 5-10 mg Cialis 2hours+ before sex.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      How can I relax for the next time? I am afraid of being trapped in a negative loop of anxiety

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        That's what cialis is for. It will help you get hard despite all the anxiety. But don't get dependent on it, once you are no longer anxious, lower the dose, then stop using it.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        If you're worried about it then you're already in that loop. You need meds. And you need it now before you try again. My first gf was luckily very into me so she was ok with me trying and failing to get hard like 6 times before I get on BLUECHEW. Then after using that for a few times I don't need it anymore

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Stop watching porn and jerking off.

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    yea, its stress, just pop a blue pill and have fun

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    My bet is on anxiety / performance anxiety.
    You find her hot so you stress over pleasing her.
    It can happen to any man, don't stress it.
    Also, I'd agree with those who say to have sex out of love, not just casually.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I would prefer out of love but it is my only opportunity at the moment to have some sex plus she is so hot. Any mental trick to relieve stress and having success next time?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        You know I've always struggled with this on the first occasion when I was with a new girl.
        I'm average in size, maybe porn had a bad influence on my self-acceptance, or some childhood trauma is behind it.
        I figured out that when I feel safe with a girl, like trusting her and feeling she accepts me all the way and I feel attachment, this problem goes away.
        You know I wanted to get together with a girl seriously, I was in love with her but she wasn't, so after a few weeks my dick decided to just go limp and guess what, she left me.
        I thought I'll never recover from this, seriously.
        I firmly believed that I'll never be able to get it up with any girl after this.
        But I met a girl who I could trust from the first minute and was able to get hard on the first occasion. Even though I went limp in the beginning, she was so caring and understanding that I immediately got hard and we had sex.
        Thinking back I don't regret that girl leaving me, she was not worth it to begin with.
        Think about this as a filter for girls who worth your time or don't, like I do now.
        When you meet the right girl, you won't have an issue with this, trust me. I'm 40 now btw.
        Don't stress it, just focus on the girl instead of yourself.
        Also, a tip: smell and kiss the back of her neck. The pheromones will help you get hard, just focus on the sensation, on her smell, on her soft skin, on her curves, on her warmth.
        This issue is temporary and will go away.
        Maybe not with this girl, but it will solve itself eventually.
        No reason to stress over this, trust me.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Same for me. I couldn't get it up for my wife when we first had sex. But as I got comfortable with her I was good. It was anxiety for me.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Best and most realistic post itt

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >she was so caring and understanding
          chad doesnt even have to get hard kek
          its over in 2024

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        It doesn't make any difference if you love her, that has nothing to do with you getting hard. Trust me.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/27OxD83.jpeg

      don't know what went wrong. I (M22) had sex for the first time in my life yesterday, it was with a foreign girl I met with Tinder so it was casual sex but despite all the foreplay where I get her naked, kiss all over her body, massage her boobs and fingering I couldn't get hard at all.

      Is it because I was nervous because was literally the first time doing it? I am so depressed right now, how could I not get hard with that pretty girl.

      She told me to met her the first week to try again, and I am afraid to fail again. What can I do to improve

      Yes. Guy, RELAX! I‘m happy you‘ll meet her again. Just go on, all will be fine.
      I had the same issue years ago. Resolved itself quite quick back then.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I hope the next time I can perform well. I feel kinda sad for the girl, I now it is only casual sex but she was very receptive and crazy for having sex with me, she prepared so well with sexy lingerie and body cologne smelling like heaven

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I'm older, mid 30s, alone for almost 10 years before getting a gf
    I couldn't get hard enough for an intercourse for the first 3 months or so, only a semi just good enough for bj
    it's anxiety and/or porn addiction
    I got comfortable with her over time, quit porn and jerking off, and now 6 months into the relationship we have regular sex with no problems
    try erection meds for faster results, but for me they did not help much back then

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    no one gets hard from kissing and massaging and fingering. Ask her to blow you or jerk off you first then you get it in

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I get hard from kissing my wife, although that may be just habit

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Not exactly the same problem as you but I couldn't cum during my first few times with my girlfriend.
    It depends on the girl and how patient she is, the more loving and naughty my gf got with me the easier it has become. At first she was kind of a dead fish and I was too scared to really indulge in my fetish, after a couple of tries I just went for whatever I felt like doing, became a little more forceful, and just behaved like an animal, fully accepting that I don't just want to have normal sex but actually just try all the shit I've read in doujins. Luckily my gf was into it so it went smoothly and I have little to no trouble nowadays.
    Dont try to impress her and actually just indulge in your fantasies, and if the girl isn't too prude she will just see this as you being really fricking attracted to her and she will get that ego boost that'll keep her going.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Probably I should have just let me go, but I was so nervous that I began overthinking. And actually she was indirectly doing one of my fantasies that is the girl wearing sexy lingerie. I actually naked her off them but I couldnt get hard.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      You sound like a selfish lover with all due respect

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    This happened to me, I got a semi hard-on but it was not hard enough for penetration. It's just nerves, even if you don't feel like it's that in the moment, I tried it again after a week, enough foreplay and a blowjob did the trick. Also make sure your condoms are the right size, you'll get flaccid again if it's too tight .

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    LOOK UP BLUECHEW RIGHT NOW. few minutes with a professional and you get Viagra to your door.

    This is anxiety but you won't get over it until you've successfully had sex a few times

    I had the same problem

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Easy online call for it

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    BWAHAHAHA. anyone who is virgin past the age of 18 shouldnt have sex anyway lmao

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I'm in my 20s and this is something I've struggled with for years. In sex ed they teach you how to have sex, they don't teach you want to do if you can't get hard though

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      In sex ed they taught you how to have sex? Here in the UK they just teach you what the genitals are and what you'll experience and that's it.

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Okay—if in case it's a type of relationship that one or the other does not find physical attraction a great way to feel more aroused is fall in love with things about the person that flourishes it. For instance—"Man! I love the breakfast she cooks me!" or "Wow he definitely has a great looking nose compared to that other guy." In other words 'Educate your love for each other.' Another way of saying it is, "Learn to love one another." Physicality is not always the key to getting aroused.

    "The oxytocin factory of the mind." - ???

    I hope this reply helps you regain in to elation. I stand in no way of your desires however. I've done the best that I can.

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