>gf says things have been going great (6 months), that im awesome to be with, she has fun, we dont fight or have tangible issues, were physicall...

>gf says things have been going great (6 months), that im awesome to be with, she has fun, we dont fight or have tangible issues, we’re physically attracted to each other, i have solid plans for the future
>but
>she feels our personalities are too similar, and it gives her doubts as to our long-term compatibility (i suppose this would be the ‘ick’)
Unironically, you really just aren’t allowed to win. You can do everything right, but she can decide to just not ‘feel it’ anymore.
It actually seems laughably impossible that people manage to get married and stay together.

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  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >she feels our personalities are too similar, and it gives her doubts

    Lol so there you go OP, proof your personalities aren’t similar. If they were, she’d not be feeling cold feel while you had felt secure. Chances are she’d been mirroring your personality and only pretended to be into what you’re into. Now she’s bored of the performance and will go lovebomb the next simp who gives out free attention.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Well she said we’re similar but she thinks she wants someone not the same as her.
      Idk man. Everything she said last night and our prior conversation about ‘us’ was vague, nonsensical, and hypocritical.
      But maybe you’re right too.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        You dumped her right?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >Everything she said last night and our prior conversation about ‘us’ was vague, nonsensical, and hypocritical.
        women are emotional creatures, and she probably has some feeling that she can't properly describe and it came out all disjointed and weird (been on the receiving end of that a few times, fricking blows). The important thing is that she was upfront about how she feels, and if you don't take

        You dumped her right?

        advice you're only hurting yourself in the long run. Don't give your energy to someone who clearly isn't willing to receive it.

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Ewwwww hahaha loser
    I'm seeing a man who doesn't know when someone is letting you down gently you fricking dipshit. Appreciate what you had and let it go, because what are you going to do? Poke holes in her logic until she realizes 'ah shucks, you got me! Dang, guess I have to stay with you genius!'

    Grow up man

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >>she feels our personalities are too similar
    What nonsense.

    But honestly, don't torture yourself trying to figure out her reasoning. All that matters is the conclusion--she's decided to blow up something that worked because of her own fickle impulses. Even if you somehow managed to convince her to stick things through, would you really want to invest your future in a woman who has proven herself to be so unreliable?

    Sorry for your experience, OP, but I think moving on is your best bet. Don't be nasty about it, of course. At least she is bringing up that she has an issue, however odd it seems to others.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >>But honestly, don't torture yourself trying to figure out her reasoning. All that matters is the conclusion--she's decided to blow up something that worked because of her own fickle impulses. Even if you somehow managed to convince her to stick things through, would you really want to invest your future in a woman who has proven herself to be so unreliable?
      listen to this man OP, this is sage wisdom. Wish I had this advice when I ran afoul of a similar situation to yours

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    relationships are a two-way street anon. As much as it sucks, you can indeed do everything right and still not have the other person reciprocate and match that energy. They're their own independent human beings, they can decide on a whim that they're not happy or satisfied, and its on you to accept that and try to appease them (worse option) or cutting your losses and seeing them on their way amicably (better option).

    It really is true that the person who cares about and invests the least in the relationship has the most power in it, and it can fricking suck to put yourself out there and not have those feelings returned, even if they acknowledge that it's illogical and doesn't make sense.

    Don't let this get you down, this is HER deficiency, not yours. There is someone out there who would kill to have all those positives in a relationship, and you'll eventually find them. good luck anon.

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    first things first OP: the relationship is over. Don't even try to salvage it.

    She's offering an unwinnable solution. In order to address and alleviate her "ick" (our personalities are too similar), one of three things would have to happen:
    >you would have to change your personality
    >she would have to change her personality
    >you both would have to change your personalities
    all of these are shit solutions and non-starters in my eyes.

    It seems like you are great friends, but not great long-term partners (in her eyes). I'd basically tell her the only solution to this is to go back to being friends and break it off. Ask her to put herself in your shoes. If you brought this same challenge to her, what would she say/think? Would she want to stay in a relationship after her partner explicitly said they would always have doubts about our long-term compatibility due to something you can't change? Presumably the goal of a relationship is to eventually turn into a marriage, settling down, starting a family, etc. She just through a pipebomb into that whole roadmap.

    Again, THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT. But there are no solutions to this situation that aren't temporary band-aids except breaking it off and either going back to being friends/FWBs or going no contact.

    Please tell me this is making some sort of sense to you?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      It is.
      I guess its not what I want to hear.
      Its just not fair and doesn’t make sense.
      Like I said in the OP, a stable long-term relationship seems literally impossible.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >Its just not fair and doesn’t make sense.
        you're totally justified in feeling that way. It's not fair. It doesn't make logical sense. The shit thing is that it doesn't have to. Like

        Ewwwww hahaha loser
        I'm seeing a man who doesn't know when someone is letting you down gently you fricking dipshit. Appreciate what you had and let it go, because what are you going to do? Poke holes in her logic until she realizes 'ah shucks, you got me! Dang, guess I have to stay with you genius!'

        Grow up man

        said (despite how harshly it was conveyed, the advice is sound), you're not gonna be able to Ben Shapiro "Facts & Logic" your way out of this to make her see reason, because it's not a logical hurdle. It's an emotional one.

        >Like I said in the OP, a stable long-term relationship seems literally impossible.
        it doesn't just seem impossible, it IS impossible at this moment. The fact that she felt strongly enough about this to vocalize it to you, even if she doesn't have the words to fully articulate it, means that she's been ruminating on this for some time now. There is no way out of a situation like this other than to break things off.

        Who knows, later down the line she may some to find out that she really does feel long-term compatibility with you. But it really comes down to this: Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who has doubts as to its long-term viability, due to an immutable characteristic you can't change? It's not fair to you to have to shoulder that mental and emotional burden. You'll always be second-guessing things, looking over your shoulder and feeling like you're walking on egg shells. Trust me OP, as someone who's been there, it's not something you want.

        Rip the band-aid off, end the relationship, and don't let her try to walk back what she said. Feelings like that don't just poof away.

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    OP here.
    I think I want to call her back tn and break it off. No need to be a dick and do it during her lunch break or w/e. I guess I’ve been in denial. She broke up with me mentally a while ago, I feel like it just clicked now and I’m finally acknowledging it.
    I feel like a dick, but idk if this is better in person or over phone.
    It just isn’t fair.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      You're making the right move. I assume the original conversation was over phone? I'd do the same thing with this one then.

      You'll be alright OP, you've acknowledged the reality of the situation and now you can start the healing process. Good luck

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Phone the first time, in-person last night

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          probably best to be in-person then, but it's up to you. Either way this is gonna be hard, it's gonna fricking suck, there will likely be tears, etc. Stay strong

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Idk the next time I’m planning to see her in person. Maybe a few days? I was gonna call her after work, but remembered shes going to a wedding tn. I’m doing several 24 hour shifts this week (fireman), and I think our next in-person will be on our 6 month anniversary. That seems cold, but dragging it out aint good either.
            I feel like I’m floundering now.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >That seems cold, but dragging it out aint good either.
            it's fine in my eyes. You didn't end the relationship, she did

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            I guess. I’m just unsure of the when.
            I really just want to write a long-winded text and send it asap, but that feels like a homosexual coward move.

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    OP here.
    I did it.
    Tough phone call, more for me than her, but its over.
    She did say she wanted to keep trying and working on it, but I stood my ground and insisted we separate.
    I wish it didn't have to go like this.
    I suppose there is some solace in removing the sense of uncertainty.
    Wish I didn't order our 6-month anniversary gift that I now have to return.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Proud of you OP, I know that couldn't have been easy. Props to you standing your ground and insisting on breaking up.

      >She did say she wanted to keep trying and working on it
      there was nothing to work on though...she's the one who had this issue, and made it clear that there was nothing you could do to fix it. What a strange thing to say, good on you for not falling for it.

      The good news is that this is the worst you'll feel about the whole thing, it'll all be uphill from here. Best of luck OP

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        She texted me twice since saying im a great guy and we had a special relationship etc. etc. etc.
        I feel like she's just doing the consoling a crying child (she s a teacher) at me though.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          yea don't let that shit get to you. It's nice that she's trying to make you feel better in her own way I guess, but it'd be the same if she had just ghosted you

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    she indirectly saying that "ion like yuh anymore get tf out" haha rookie mistake

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