Had a girlfriend for 10 years and just 4 months ago she dumped me because she was starting to feel too overwhelmed by what was happening in her life a...

Had a girlfriend for 10 years and just 4 months ago she dumped me because she was starting to feel too overwhelmed by what was happening in her life and with me. She still wanted to stay in touch with me (even after she moved with her father since one of her problems was with her mother that she used to live with when she was here). We meet two times since then and both time she always cried when we talked (alongisde me). Saying over and over again she will always remember me and hope i finally find happiness. I don't get it why even keep in touch with me if she's also sad? (she even kept saying how shit she felt everyday like me).
At this point i don't know if i should be in touch with her anymore. I just can't stand living everyday anyway and have no hopes for the future. I literally lived with love as a base for my whole life since i felt like nothing else mattered.

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  1. 1 month ago
    jackie

    propose?
    or at least meet up and impregnate her?
    you really ran out the clock on "girlfriend" bro she must feel worthless and baby-empty

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Why even do this ironical posting here?

      • 1 month ago
        jackie

        this is some real shit my guy he took that girls youth

        she had no choice

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He makes a good point, though. 4 years and still just "girlfriend?" Neither one should be surprised about this honestly.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I guess i was also at fault for never asked she about anything else. Tbqh i never asked about taking a step further because she was taking care of her mother and aunt (both had a mental illness just different). So i thought she never was going to leave them to be with me. After she dumped me she was already to the brim with them (taking care of mental ill people really takes a toll to you, i barely could interact with me daily). Today when i saw her, she wandered about what could've happened if she actually leave them behind before. WHat i don't really like is now that she is not tied to me she actually leave them both by themselves. But i guess you can't really throw your life to the toilet to take care of your mother.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This is why it's better to never have a girlfriend at all. All these gf-havers get suicidal thoughts whenever their woman leaves them. No thanks, I'd rather be alone than to lose my self respect due to a prostitute.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This, unironically
      Tfw no gf? Give me a fricking break, try having the GF you always wanted and then losing her. You're better off dead

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Break contact. You gotta stop the bleeding so the wound can start to heal. Why she broke it off is irrelevant, you're in a new chapter now. You don't have to ghost her, just tell her the truth: You think it's best for both of you to break contact so you can start trying to move on. This is not a discussion, you are just doing the courteous thing by letting her know. It is important that you make up your mind before you do it. Make sure You're certain about this. You can respond to her replies for clarification, but do not turn it into a whole talk. Once you're certain your point has gotten through, block her number and delete it.

    She clearly wants this breakup for a rational reason, not an emotional one. It sounds like she knows she has to do this but her emotions are making it hard for her to commit. If this is the case, she may respond to you in some way that tries to bait you into a discussion or a heartfelt talk. This is her emotional response of trying to keep you around. Mentally, she wants it to be over, but emotionally she still want to be with you. Be warned, this discussion will lead nowhere, because she is conflicted. She will be wishy-washy the whole time, do not take the bait. Stick to your guns. You are just informing her.

    After that, it's all about putting more days without her in your rear view mirror, and start looking forward.

    >I literally lived with love as a base for my whole life since i felt like nothing else mattered.
    It's time to start hobby hunting. You gotta start figuring out who you are without her, without anyone for that matter. The world is full of cool shit you can try for cheap, or even free. Pick up an instrument, a pen, a pencil, card games, table top games, paper craft, mix music, exercise, look up some recipes and try cooking, baking, audition for a local theater performance, learn to code, mod games, create 3D models, go fishing, or read a book. Just start trying things.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      4 months and still feeling like shit makes me wonfer how long i will endure this. If it takes 1 or 2 years i doubt my mental health will maintain it tbqh. Even more when i keep living in the house she used to be days and days. Everything here remembers me about her. Even this city wich isn't very big makes me remember about her. That's mostly the problem. Everything around me reminds me of her, even my family wich interacted with her all this time.
      I used to love playing games, watching movies and series but i hardly can do it right now since i think i put all the problems we had in those things, mostly the videogames.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You should look into therapy. It isn't as expensive as TV makes it sound

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      good advice.

      2nd this.

      Break contact - for like a minimum of 4 years. What you had is over baby, there's no returning to what once was. You have to find yourself - alone - like all men

      Also hit the gym.

      It's the only thing I can guarantee will make you feel better.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She was your girlfriend for 10 years, were you explicit that you were going to marry her, did you talk to her about your plans? Forming a family?
    As the guy above said, she broke up for a rational reason, and I bet it's because of these things.
    In English there's no word for "namoro" nut basically a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is meant to end, you either marry and form a family or break up.
    You can't be boyfriend forever, and women have a biological clock for theses things, she is just your girlfriend, she doesn't have enough security about the future of you two, and she can end up as a single old woman.
    I don't if that's the case but I know enough relationships that ended because of that, maybe she doesn't even know with certainty why she is breaking up with you but that's it, you showed not enough commitment, you need to be her future husband and not her forever boyfriend.
    Unfortunately this is a problem within our generation because we were never taught these things and need to figure out on our own.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I always talked about wanting to be with her and someday live together (like what i said above i didn't really asked to live together since she used to take care of her mom and aunt). She doesn't really believe in marriage but she believed in love and people being together for this long. So i don't know what to tell you.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >"She doesn't really believe in marriage"
        Yeah OP, maybe that's the problem. I don't know what to tell you, but maybe you got rid of a time bomb that just exploded.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          That sounds the most reasonable answer. Sadly i cannot see it like that right now. Hopefully sometime i can think like that. What anon said

          You should look into therapy. It isn't as expensive as TV makes it sound

          i guess is what i should do but sadly i just feel like the therapist will only tell me to focus on my work and find hobbies.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Having expectations about therapy will reduce its effectiveness. Trust me bro just go in with the most open mind you have and it'll help. And if it doesn't work it's normal to look for another therapist.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >and someday
        wow who hasn't heard this lie. You fricking men pull this shit and then shocked we get tired of waiting

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Looks like you need to cut contact in order to take the end in and to see where you stand and what you want to make out of it and where you want to go next. Whether you think keeping in touch is only going to hurt you or you think remaining friends would be good for the both for you, ultimately it is for you to decide and make your mind on.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I don't get it why even keep in touch with me if she's also sad?
    She's trying to lessen her own feelings of guilt. She probably made herself believe that keeping in touch is somehow a better outcome than just cutting off all contact.

    Anon, you need to talk to her, or at least attempt to talk to her, one last time. Ask her what made her feel overwhelmed, why she left without talking to you and if there is any way for you to get back together.

    If the answer is no, then I'm sorry anon, but the only healthy way forward for both of you would be to end this chapter of your lives and cut off all contact.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah no traditionally people cut contact with exes for this literal exact reason.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >having a "girlfriend" for 10 years and never marrying her

    What did you think was going to happen?

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >all these anons saying to marry her
    Enjoy her stealing half your assets
    >Taking care of her sick mother and grandmother
    Enjoy getting ordered by the courts to take care of them as well after the divorce
    Getting married today is NOT worth it as the court's heavily favor woman despite the push for true gender "equality"

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