Handling BPD women

How do you properly handle a BPD girl, OR what is hypothetically the best counter to her craziness? If you think about it, a narcissistic man with a BPD woman is a good combo as the narc wants to be the favorite person, and the BPD girl wants a favorite person. They would fulfill each others needs, unhealthily of course. However, what would happen if the man is able to see through her bullshit tactics or genuinely doesn't feel anything for her, while still doing the bare minimum to keep her around? It seems like no matter what you do, you will be burnt by the woman in the end if you try to care about her. BPD individuals take a VERY long time to go into remission, and are high maintenance so it's arguably just diminishing returns to try to date them long term. If you are a normal individual you will be viciously used by the BPD individual, so obviously you need to be fricked up yourself to handle them accordingly. With that being said, what kind of illness or personality traits do you think a man would need to have to keep a BPD girl? Share any experiences or theories you have here.

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Set boundaries, call them out for bad behaviour. Oh and also put space between you and them if necessary

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    BPD is a choice. The answer is for both parties to stop acting moronic.
    >t. bpdoid

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    BPD is fun because when they lose their minds and try to kill themselves you can make them worse and watch them completely explode and break down.
    I once had a girl run away from her home towards the river to drown herself and she asked if I wanted her to drown and I just said 'you won't do it' and she kept saying she was gonna do it blabla, I kept saying no you can't cause this and that and you're lying and you're being dramatic. Anyway that night ended with her back home sending me videos of her fingering herself so it was pretty nice.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    stick your dick inside her and dont pull out
    just go plap plap plap until you both experience ego death and become one

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This
      Pregnancy is the only cure to moderate-mild bpd

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Bullshit. It makes it worse because now they can use your child as leverage against you. My friend said his BPD gf would spank his kid for petty shit just to piss him off. You guys are fricked up for even entertaining these kinds of women.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this is true. when my boyfriend promised me pregnancy nearly every rapidly firing angry thought i had calmed down. pregnant=he will have a very difficult time leaving me

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Bpd women make for horrible parents. Think about the real person who will be affected by that.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you dont people like me should be alone

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wrong bpd girls deserve all the love they missed out on

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wrong bpd girls deserve all the love they missed out on

      If only they would calm down for at least a decade, though.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        after a decade they do calm down. around 90% see remission by that point.

    • 4 weeks ago
      cian

      actually agreed BPD people should avoid relationships because they lack the stability to manage them
      not to imply that you cant get over BPD, most just dont

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How do you properly handle a BPD girl
    You don't, you stay away if you know what's good for you.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why are you asking? I dated a woman with BPD, but I'm not sure if my experience is indicative of what that would be like. One shining quality that this girl had was her honesty, something I don't think most girls have. Even when she set out to hurt me she never really lied, she said so many hurtful things to me but never once insulted my appearance, I found that really interesting because it would really easy, I have many things I could be insulted over. She said herself she could see people in a balanced matter, but sometimes she could only "Feel" either all the good or all the bad. But they are real feelings, they were all her feelings. They didn't exactly disappear later when she would love me again, even if it seemed that way, and I should've paid more attention. I wish I were more honest, and more confrontational.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >She said herself she could see people in a balanced matter, but sometimes she could only "Feel" either all the good or all the bad.
      I used to think cases of "good" BPD people were actually just a misdiagnosis of people with CPTSD and autism with possibly some other slight comorbidity like generalized anxiety disorder or depression etc. But I realized it's not that "this" is actually "that", but that there's effectively no difference. Or at least there doesn't have to be. Women with autism and a comorbid mood disorder just get diagnosed with a personality disorder because... Well, the state of Western medicine. But that black and white thinking? It's not a SURE sign, but it makes it possible that if she wasn't as toxic or self-destructive as what you think when you think "someone with BPD" that that's actually just the autistic preoccupation with justice. These cognitive inclinations are also what make traumatized people with autism/aspergers so susceptible to further abuse and trauma. This frame of mind is often detrimental because you end up being picky in all the wrong ways. You're extremely harsh on people you view as good/moral and may completely cut them from your life if they do something small out of line, because it makes you question everything that they are; conversely, people you view as bad/dangerous/wrong are given endless patience, endless chances, even if the "good" that they do really just amounts to breadcrumbing, manipulation, and so on --because this was the method to SURVIVAL encoded into your limbic system during the trauma.

      We all need to be much more discerning about the fine line between BPD and autism+trauma.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Did she ever describe what her breakdowns were like?
      That can also help clarify the difference between an episode of BPD "splitting" versus an autistic meltdown (often more a result of sensory overload rather than true emotional distress or suicidal ideation; of course each brings the other but the core initiating feeling of the breakdown is what differentiates)

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why does every stupid homosexual on this board conflate every trauma-based disorder with the others? A core facet of BPD behavior is how involuntary and unintentional it is. Narcs, narcopaths are the ones who are more aware of what they are doing and purposefully hone their manipulation and abuse tactics. You can have both NPD and BPD, but BPD isn't just narcissism-lite or something. BPD is evolving in the Western psychological field to be considered a subset of CPTSD, a BPD child is often the RESULT of a narc parent. And the result of RESISTING the narc bullshit, resisting turning into another one of them. The narc is just someone bitten by a narc of theirs before them, often a parent or romantic partner as well. To plunge a BPD sufferer into more of what they spent their developmental and formative years trying to escape is hell.

    OP is unfortunately correct in implying a narc can have the strongest hold over a BPD partner. But it's not a symbiotic dynamic or mutually beneficial in the slightest. Abuser (often narc) pieces of shit are the CAUSE of the BPD's trauma, the constant state of panic and fighting not to be abandoned or mistreated. Stay away from BPDarlings. They are too good for you, leave them in peace to heal.
    Or go for the sanriocore zoomer sociopath prostitutes you mistake for le speshul and broken dark save-me-snowflake bpd crazypussy

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i fantasize about taming a bpdemon by being an unhinged yandere bf and tying her up on my bed whenever she threatens to self-harm (then having passionate sex)

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Additionally, on that I would say

    The pathology of a BPD person seems more inclined to direct the trauma response, weaponized, at the self.
    BPD:
    > Trigger, >"You did something to deserve this you piece of shit you should just die just fricking have a nice day worthless you'll never be fricking anything no one loves you" etc > Self-harming behavior if present is consciously directed at the self as punishment
    Autism spectrum disorder:
    > Trigger > "W-what's happening why do I suddenly feel like I can't speak what the frick what is this panic inside of me out out get it out something is IN me and it is WRONG get it OUT get it AWAY FROM ME what's HAPPENING" > If self-harming behaviors occur they are usually more like violent stims in an attempt to vent/escape/expunge the feeling i.e. hitting the head, curling into the fetal position or covering the head with something to dull the senses, pinching or scratching oneself throughout overstimulation into dissociated skin-picking, etc.
    These coping mechanisms may bring on shame and insecurity/regret especially if the meltdown was, for instance, brought on in the presence of or by an abuser, or if the meltdown happened in a public space. But they don't *begin* with the self-directed hatred and cruelty trauma-response evident in the BPD pathology, though it may evolve to a similar place eventually.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    An especially dysregulated autist can be hard to tell from someone with a Cluster B personality disorder; but the breakdown less often evolves lashing out at others, when it almost always does involve such with even a moderately untreated BPD person.
    So, hypothetically, an autist in a really toxic situation could in their assessment reveal to their psychologist that they've behaved toxically (in conflict with their abuser) and if the psychologist doesn't have the context for their situation and that that response was in fact reactive abuse, AND that patient does not already have a C/PTSD or autism diagnosis.. they're likely going to diagnose BPD. Similarly, a BPD person who utilizes CBT/DBT and other coping and management mechanisms self-sufficiently and is in a period of "remission", may be more favorably diagnosed --especially if alternative diagnosis are more likely such as autism or bipolar if they are a man.
    At the end of the day, other than the things xrays can tell us about the specific areas of the brain affected and such, I don't know the difference in what causes a more manageable *manifestation* of either autism or BPD other than access to a good support system and consistent application of treatment and coping skills. I think it's often less useful to try to narrow down the "real" diagnosis than it is to acknowledge how much environment plays a role in these disorders. It goes without saying that someone already ill is not going to act healthy around poison. So many BPD people could be "cured" overnight (to the degree that they appear much more like that autism + trauma facet and can transition to using skills more applicable for dealing with that than BPD --if that works, if that's sustainable, that's what usually tells you the difference between BPD in "remission" and.. not BPD at all) with better living conditions or a healthy family system or group of good-influence friends and some therapy, better access to basic needs, etc.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I just want a yandere gf that would love me the way I am and never ever leave me.
    This is true love.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Patience, not letting her think you got affected by it

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    By turning 360 degrees and walking away

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That would be a 180 degree turn, assuming you want to go the opposite direction. A 360 degree turn just puts you in her direction again.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        newbie spotted, gtfo Black person

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Factoring narcissism into that equation is trickier. Out of context, victim can easily be deemed narcissist themselves; narcs often purposefully try to achieve that narrative framing. Autists and people with BPD are both very honest. Autists usually because they disregard or cannot adapt to social convention, BPDs usually because they get so intensely dysregulated that they desperately screamspill their guts as their entire breakdown is a cry for help. From a place of shame or obliviousness, an autist and/or BPD person could honestly reveal something harmful/hurtful they did, even in a group counseling session with an abusive partner or parent, and unless the abuser has self awareness and takes equal accountability, the victim can appear to be the perpetrator only because their side of the story that THEY voluntarily chose to own up to is being treated as the whole story.
    But I do believe these terms are all ultimately just words at the end of the day, and that gives me hope that the conditions they're attempting to define are more workable than the diagnoses would suggest. My brother definitely has autism, and CPTSD, and is diagnosed bipolar. And he arguably fits the bill for clinical narcissism, inarguably at least for BPD, which I think would be a more accurate diagnosis than bipolar if not NPD. But when he's at his heathiest and most stable, at WORST what shows and seems to present him struggle is just the autism or something akin to bipolar/BPD. He's never yet maintained that stability enough to see if with consistency he could really just focus on thriving as an autistic person with awareness of the accommodations needed for that and the CPTSD. But I don't think he's irredeemable, and I'd like to think all narcissistics are capable of healing and growth if truly offered the opportunity. As a field and as a society we just haven't figured out what treatment they best respond to and what sorts of crutches they need to learn to live and cognize in a healthy way.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pick them up firmly by the scruff of the neck, carry them outside, and throw them into the dumpster. Donezo.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    But narcs and BPDs (or effective narcs and BPDs even if they're really something else with the right tools and help) are not good for eachother. If you really think about it, the supply a BPD person offers isn't even ultimately beneficial to the narc. Not if we're defining that objectively, not just what the narc desires, has been conditioned to crave due to trauma. And a narc losing a bpd supply to health is crushing. To see someone that is more likely than ANYONE to be dependent on and controlled by you forever, able to finally walk away? That's hard to recover from as a narc. BPDs also usually end up learning to take what the narc dishes out and sometimes become, in conflict, double the monsters the narcs are by mirroring the behavior. So narcs just shouldn't set themselves up to be hurt in the first place. BPDs are stronger --or luckier-- than narcs or else they would have turned out to become one of them. In any case, they are different, and this is always at least subconsciously evident to the narc and this terrifies and/or infuriates them.
    Something to learn in each corner but let's separate the poison dart frogs from the rattlesnakes, yeah? Best for them at least to learn observationally and theoretically from one another, not by further traumatizing eachother

    TLDR; the narc should fear the strong

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nothing wrong with being a narc, just don't talk to them, give them no attention so they won't crave more and they will leave you alone and go do their own thing
      they will forget you exist after some time because their own company is better anyway

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Where did you get
        >There's something wrong with being a narc
        out of all this? My only anything that could be considered barbed towards narcs was about OP's implication that BPDs and NPDs can be a transactional net positive to eachother, which they never are. Or that it's epic and based to seek ways to manipulate yourself compatible (toxically enmeshed in codependent trauma bond, rather) with someone instead of seeking healthy, and more importantly, realistic relationships

        But yeah. Narcs are "trustworthy" in that they are predictable, that you can trust them to always behave according to their survival instincts, same as BPDs and some of the other personality disorders. When the person has more wholly "become" and internalized their trauma as an identity rather than just reacts to already objectively stressful and traumatic events from a place of trauma, they're better off in some ways and worse in others.

        That's advice for how to get a narc to frick off, though. Not for how to make them behave. That is the difficult thing in interaction with deeply unhealthy people; even well-intentioned and objectively helpful acts and responses to their patterns feel manipulative, intrusive, unethical somehow. Doing that dance is exhausting either way. That is why even with my brother I have gone back to a phase of just avoiding him rather than doing the 5D chess upkeep to stay on his good side and keep things positive, and why the better option for most people is just to go no-contact or grayrock.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Narcs are "trustworthy" in that they are predictable
          doesn't this also depend on the individual's intelligence?
          smarter people can be much more self-aware, better at reading others and be able to think about more possibilities about what the other person will feel, how they will react, what they will think about, basically making the equation much bigger by adding a lot more factors in it and being able to realize how each of them affects the whole thing

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why do zoomers talk about mental disorders like they're pokemon types?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Talk about? Or assemble them as badges of indentity? I don't really know that they conceptualize of them that way but yes with the self-labeling the Twitter bios and such can look like a gym badge case

      I think because there's always a wobbling, there are no smooth transitions in culture. In a matter of generations we went from heinous medical malpractice in asylums everywhere and thinking of homosexuality as a mental illness, to a major cultural push for LGBT acceptance, mental illness destigmatization, making mental health resources and services more accessible, etc.
      Identity politics are the fad of the decade, everything is political and everything pertains to all these micro castes and ego hierarchies. Every child wants to fit it and the way to do it in current year is by picking your favorite flag and gender-nickname.

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've had a girlfriend with BPD for over 3 years now. What I can say is that the love I have for her has been tainted with deep resentment over the things that she's put me through. I love her, but I don't really feel it anymore. Especially not compared to the start of the relationship, where I'd do anything for her. At this point, she feels more like a roommate/fwb than my girlfriend, even though I eknow she's head over hels for me. I just can't feel it in my heart anymore. It's tough, both for me and for her. I can't show my love the way I want to, and the way she expects it.

    The conclusion I've drawn from my experience is that, if you don't take care of the BPD early on in the relationship, it's NEVER going to end well. Had I not been naive and actually put down my foot for once, I think that my situation would've been way better. I just let her say horrible things to me time after time again, thinking that it'd eventually get better; and it did, but my love faded in the process.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I've had a girlfriend with BPD for over 3 years now. What I can say is that the love I have for her has been tainted with deep resentment over the things that she's put me through. I love her, but I don't really feel it anymore. Especially not compared to the start of the relationship
      My experience as well

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I guess it's also worth mentioning the fact that she's basically everything I've ever dreamed of in a girlfriend. Especially after all of these years of having been together, where she's gradually adopted more of my views and interests. She's pretty as well and I do love her, but as said, I cannot really express it. And I've tried my best to somehow revive my feelings for her, but it's probably too late to do something about it now.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      what horrible things does she say to you?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        At this point, I've honestly mentally repressed her words so much that I don't really remember much the specifics, even though her splits happen on the regular.
        I guess I'd say that her ill words nowadays come in the form of bad acts whenever she's mad. I could be telling her something that's been bad in my day, and she, for some reason, gets mad at that. She'll get upset at basically anything that she doesn't want to hear. Combine that with all of the common BPD things such as gaslighting and guilt tripping, and you have a recipe for disaster.
        I'm sorry that I don't have any specifics to share with you. If you really want, I can look for some exact wording.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >If you really want, I can look for some exact wording
          sure, if you don't mind
          I just find it interesting to hear about what these people do

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Man, I'm in the same boat as you. I feel genuinely horrible about how my love for her dulled over time. She gave me so much love and affection, and here I am not having it in me to return it because of the quiet resentment that has built up over the years.
      Do you think you can still go back to the time where your feelings for her were still there?
      If I'm honest, I don't think I have it in me to restore the feelings I once had for her, and I have been thinking of breaking up for a while now.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Unfortunately, I'm on the same exact boat as you are. I've been thinking of breaking things off for a while, since I don't see my emotions for her coming back anytime soon, but it's hard. I cling on to the hope that they do, but I know deep down that they won't. It doesn't help that she always says that she can't wait to grow old and have kids with me. It cuts so deep whenever she says so. It's not fair for her to have a boyfriend that's this much of a pussy, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >It doesn't help that she always says that she can't wait to grow old and have kids with me.
          That's the worst part about it. Telling you about her future plans that involve you, seeing how her eyes light up in excitement, and yet you can't help but feel empty about it, mine even started asking me about how many children I want and what their names should be. It makes it all the more difficult to leave but you also know they deserve so much better than this.
          I hope you can regain these feels for your girl someday, anon.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It hurts. It really does. I hope the exact same to you, anon. I don't want to give up just yet, even though I probably should.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Let's be selfish for a little bit longer and hope for the best, even if it seems like an uphill battle. BPD really is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Post her nudes
      does she shave? does she do anal? does she swallow cum and piss? how kinky is she? does she cum quick? greentext your first time fricking

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't. You don't get with them, to begin with.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is it normal to feel grief over losing someone with BPD?

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't, unless they are in treatment. All people with untreated Cluster B personality disorders are extremely abusive. Some intentionally, and others unintentionally. NPD and ASPD being the worst of the worst, because they don't seek treatment and are intentional with their abuse. A partner with a personality disorder from one of the other clusters, a neurological disorder, or any mental illness can be hard to deal with; but it's only cluster b(ad) that are completely and totally impossible to be with unless they are aware of their condition and are in treatment.

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    BPD is just an excuse to act childish because you can't control your emotions, people like this must be avoided.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Honestly, this is somewhat the conclusion I've landed in as well. Having come to this "cold" stage, I can't see her behavior in any other way than her being immature and childish. She'll get upset at the most bizarre and insignificant things, which really triggers me. I feel bad, because I can't control my feelings and try to cheer her up anymore. I just end up mad at her for being upset at these things. This always creates an evil spiral where she goes from being mad to being sad that I can't comfort her and so on and so forth. It's not worth it.
      To my credit, neither me or her knew that she suffered from BPD before we got together. This was her first ever relationship and she's never had any person be close to her prior to it.

      >If you really want, I can look for some exact wording
      sure, if you don't mind
      I just find it interesting to hear about what these people do

      Looking through history, I'd say my previous post is accurate in the sense that it's more her behavior rather than explicitly saying mean things. Her attitude whenever she's mad is extremely dismissive and hostile, which makes me feel like shit.
      Examples include
      "You didn't even care about the fact that I felt like shit. I wanted to puke because I felt this bad" (common example of her seeking attention, in my honest opinion)
      "I'd be humble towards you if you'd also carry around anxiety over small things, but you seem to just not care about it" (she gets anxiety over small and bizarre shit, as mentioned earlier, and makes a fuzz that whenever I say that it's going to be fine yada yada)
      "It's unbelievable to think I'm your girlfriend when I'm reading these things. It's almost like I'm dirt to you"
      "You're writing these things to me as if I'm garbage" (recent examples of her being mad at me for writing in a more solution-oriented way rather than an emotionally supportive way)

      These are relatively bad examples, but I don't really feel like sitting down and looking for specific scenarios that were relatively short and had enough value to be shared. It's mostly the stupid shit I've been talking about all this time, really.

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've been with two women with BPD. The first one was a long-term relationship and the second one was what the kids call a "situationship." My advice to anyone wanting to get with a BPD girl- Don't let yourself care about them. The relationship will really only work if you distance yourself emotionally from them. My first ex messaged me for 10 years because I wouldn't take her back. IDK what is wrong with their brains but when you ignore them and are emotionally distant they want you, and when you feed them attention they eventually split and/or discard you. So don't get attached, don't feel anything for them, just enjoy the experience with no expectations of anything long-term.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >ignore them and are emotionally distant they want you, and when you feed them attention they eventually split and/or discard you
      that's all women tbh

      bpd is just a woman with the volume turned up

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How do you properly handle a BPD girl, OR what is hypothetically the best counter to her craziness?
    Systemic eradication.

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This thread is becoming sad (stupid). It's like the people who say "I'm going to kill myself when I turn X years old." No, if you were going to break up with your BPD gf you'd just do it now

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Where did you get that comparison from? They're really nothing alike. If you make a statement such as "I'm going to kill myself at X", you probably know whether you're serious with that statement or not. In the absolute majority of cases, they're not. This situation, on the other hand, is about having a desire to do something but being too afraid/too much of a pussy to do it.

      Let's be selfish for a little bit longer and hope for the best, even if it seems like an uphill battle. BPD really is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

      I'm not sure I agree that it's a blessing, I'd honestly prefer her "less" attached to me if it meant that I could have some sanity in my life. It's a long and uphill battle that won't be won over a day, we just have to hold up hope that it'll get better. How long have you been together with your girlfriend?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >This situation, on the other hand, is about having a desire to do something but being too afraid/too much of a pussy to do it.
        The situations are analogous for this exact reason. You want to do something, you talk about how you will do it in the future, but you won't. If you wanted to break up with your gf you would just get it over with.

        To be clear, I am not shitting on you. I was in your position once. I'm just telling you that you're not mentally ready for it otherwise you'd go ahead and rip off the bandaid.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I think we're both on the same page that none of us are mentally ready to do it. I guess we were arguing on the same page.

          That's where we differ, I guess. If I remember back on how my life was before I met her, I'd describe it as passionless, uneventful and flat out boring. Comparing how life was before her to now, makes it hard for me to not see it as a blessing when it comes to the attachment part, even if it can get very draining from time to time

          We've been together for almost 5 years now. We met in our first year of university.

          Don't get me wrong. I love having her attached to me, but I hope and believe that her attachment comes from me as a person and not as a consequence of her mental illness. But I might be in the wrong, it might just be her mental illness doing that. Either way, I definitely relate. Life is dull until you have someone to share life with. It sucks so bad that there's an obstacle preventing the "perfect" life. As previously said, I hope you overcome that obstacle, anon. I refuse to say that my 3 years and your 5 years have gone to waste. I truly believe in the bettering of both our cases.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Oh boy, I had the same worries as you about how her attachment might be more of a result of her mental illness than her genuine feelings towards me. As time went on, her 'bad' BPD symptoms got better and a lot more manageable, but her attachment got even more intense, so I also like to believe her emotions towards me are genuine and not resulting of the BPD itself. It also helps that I can act pretty 'unfazed' to shit talking and such, so while she always feels terrible after one of her episodes, she tells me that she feels secure around me and that I won't leave her (until she doesn't feel that way lol). It's really a shame that it's just an act on my part and the resentment has been slowly growing.

            Thanks man, same goes for you. I can only hope that we can get it all sorted out someday and it's not for nothing.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >people being in love and attached to the people they love is a mental illness now
            the absolute state of modern society

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Did you just want to make an edgy comment on society or do you actually lack reading comprehension?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's where we differ, I guess. If I remember back on how my life was before I met her, I'd describe it as passionless, uneventful and flat out boring. Comparing how life was before her to now, makes it hard for me to not see it as a blessing when it comes to the attachment part, even if it can get very draining from time to time

        We've been together for almost 5 years now. We met in our first year of university.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    my sister is bpd and i basically just out crazy her and make her feel stupid. it probably doesnt help her but she leaves me alone. i guess if its your partner its different

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      basically this lol, they get angry at you, you get even angrier at them, they tell you they are gonna kill themselves, you do the same
      you can also threaten to kill them yourself if they don't shut up

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The funniest thing is when they do their whole 'IM KILLING MYSELF IM CUTTING MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU ILL DO IT' and you just reply with
        >no you won't
        they completely melt down and it's hilarious
        eh maybe they cut themselves who cares, they sit in the hospital for a day and afterwards you pretend to care about it so she has extremely passionate emotional sex with you and she promises to be a better gf and starts crying. That's when you have total control

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Really only a true NPD could handle a BPD in my opinion, otherwise the best you can do is be the best punching bag codependent for a BPD

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    really funny how all the moids here mistreat their gf and then get surprised

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you dont
    >t. i tried

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