how do i confront my girlfriend about her dishonesty regarding her sexual past without pushing her away?

how do i confront my girlfriend about her dishonesty regarding her sexual past without pushing her away? there are a lot of hurtful things I've seen after looking into her online activity that chip away and gnaw at me, I wish I could hear her side or get some reassurance, but she gets very defensive very quickly and doesn't like being confronted. I love her and want to build a life with her but I feel like she's putting on a facade for me, like there's this distance and i don't really know her. when something similar came up once she broke down and said herself that she wants me to think she's perfect.

it's just hard to navigate, it's my first relationship and she's a complicated person with some baggage and trauma

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The only answer you're going to get from me is leave her. Lying is bad. It's a precursor to cheating and makes you doubt everything she has ever told you.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it'd be like severing a limb, and maybe I'm too much of a pussy to subject myself to such pain. I've been alone my whole life before her and meeting her was like discovering pieces of my soul I never even knew existed.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        it's for the best, i've been there before and the pain is horrible. i'm sorry brother

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >I wish I could hear her side or get some reassurance, but she gets very defensive very quickly and doesn't like being confronted.
          You know deep down it's time for you to leave.

          despite it all i don't think she's undeserving of love. like leaving her would make me a bad person, and I don't think I can stop loving her

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you're a simp, you're just gonna have to learn your lesson when she inevitably fricks you over

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The real answer is to just cheat. For every past partner your girlfriend had, you should have a round of sex with a different girl until your body count is the same. Then, ghost all the practice girls and return with your gf as equals. Dont tell her obviously.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I know this is mostly a joke but I'm incapable of doing that
            I just wish I didn't let my insecurities sabotage me like that.I feel so small and inadequate. if I let her go I'll regret it for the rest of my life. vidrel

            ?si=ywiRQB1biGiNq7rF

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You dont have to let her go, just go to a bar and pick up some chick, make out with her, whatever. Its easier once you already have a gf because the women smell her on you and get turned on. Just have more sex so that b***h bawdting around in the past doesnt bother you. Just make a checklist, try to get a blowjob, get your ass licked, cum on a girls face, frick a girl in public, etc. just so you arent jealous of your girlfriends sex life anymore. Seriously this will help you, as long as you dont be a b***h and confess your adultery to your gf, who is probably already cheating on you right now. Hurry up and get some practice buddy. The alternative is breaking up with her and finding a virgin

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            explain it to her. all your emotions. what anon said
            "She's trying to erase her history by being with you."
            powerful statement. use that if you explain your emotions.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >like leaving her would make me a bad person
            She made her choices. That's not your problem.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >like leaving her would make me a bad person

            You don't have an obligation to play captain save a hoe for her.

            But hey, she is probably the best you can get anyway lmao

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            anon you are right. someone has to suck all of the other guy's jizz out of her pussy and clean up the room after she is done getting pounding out by her ex. you cant just leave her, what would she do?

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >it's my first relationship
    >she's a complicated person with some baggage and trauma
    The answer is obvious. You shouldn't have to deal with someone like that when you have literally no relationship experience. She's trying to erase her history by being with you.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it just sucks that she's kind of a living example of what incels talk about with the wiener carousel and such. like settling for a "nice guy" after having an adventurous past, changing up her image etc. I want to believe she's more than that and I romanticised it in my head by believing she was always just searching for love and was taken advantage of, because that'd what she led me to believe

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >believing she was always just searching for love and was taken advantage of,
        Never believe this. It's a free pass for a woman to avoid accountability for her behavior.
        Rule 1 for women is
        >never accept responsibility for something when you can make a man do so instead.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A woman's past only matters to boys!

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why worry? She can't be unplapped anyway.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I wish I could hear her side or get some reassurance, but she gets very defensive very quickly and doesn't like being confronted.
    You know deep down it's time for you to leave.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >it's my first relationship
    99% chance it's not gonna work out based on that alone buddy
    but especially if she's defensive and avoids confrontation - no relationship can last with a person that stupid that they're unable to actually sit down with the person they supposedly love and want to be with and have conversations about things and be honest
    anyone that would rather lie, omit, or avoid the issue that they are well aware is there is never going to have a lasting relationship frankly
    how is anyone gonna manage to spend 40, 50, 60 years with someone, with the 5000000000 issues that are going to arise or happen in that time, and be unable to fricking talk to each other about them
    it leads to blowups, resentment and just shit that ends relationships everytime anyway. people that are entirely concerned with their own feelings are selfish pieces of shit, happy to hurt their partner and not care about their feelings and i'm tired of it being acceptable behaviour everywhere in society

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      thank you, I will take that to heart. I often try to initiate conversations about sensitive subject matter and feelings and such and she will inevitably get angry when I do. we've constructed this false blissful reality we're both comfortable in, and undermining it prompts a defensive reaction

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >happy to hurt their partner and not care about their feelings and i'm tired of it being acceptable behaviour everywhere in society
      You're like a breeze of fresh air at a toxic waste site.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >first relationship
    Bahahaha dump her you cuck

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you are her emergency landing pad for when she is completely done being a prostitute
    obviously she can't say that so she will pretend to be pleasant and keep the wool over your eyes
    i bet every guy that is fricking her feels sorry for you

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    to put it bluntly, the only way for you to be free of it and not suffer is to cover it up completely without asking what she did before she met you
    i knoq you'll try to find another way, but unfortunately there is no other way

  10. 2 weeks ago
    ruby

    ghost her before she tries to give you aides bro i learned this lesson the hard way if she a prostitute she for the streets she should put in two thousand percent of the effort

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you can't handle the fact and jjst accept it and move on, leave her. You will resent her and she can't unfrick all those Black folk.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you know DNA samples remain in a lady after unprotected sex? the leftovers affect any later pregnancies
    might be raising a kid that is genetically from like 9 different homies

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >genetically from like 9 different homies
      If this were true, paternity tests wouldn't work. It's depressimg how stupid you are. How can people could be this moronic and still type?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        its more a newer discovery
        im not gonna link a heap of stuff but heres something in the same pool of discoveries
        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4989712/

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >how do i swim without getting wet?
    You don't. You either ignore the issue and maintain status quo (at least for now), or you confront her and risk some issues between you. No matter what you do, there is a chance she takes offence or gets deffensive. If something bothers you you should say it and say it quickly, before you explode on her with everything that is a problem when she does something unrelated that annoyed you. Because thats where you're headed. Its easier said than done tho, especially in your first relationship. Still you should take the risk and tell her about it, just to learn how to talk. If you had one relationship you're bound to have another if this doesn't work.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >before you explode on her with everything that is a problem when she does something unrelated that annoyed you
      it's funny that you say that because that's literally something she does, I suppose we're both not great about confronting our feelings and points of contention, it's not a great combination. I used to be a lot more open but it persistently annoyed her so I learned my lesson by now. I'm pretty calm and patient and never once lost it at her and I'm pretty sure I can just repress it until it's not as much of an issue, because she's just fun to be around and I'll eventually forget. But then it'll surface again inevitably. It's a vicious cycle.

      I appreciate your input. I think I will try to talk to her about it today and let you know how it goes.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Looking in her online activity
    Am I the only one here who thinks you're a homosexual and she should leave you for being untrustworthy?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not particularly proud of that behaviour but also think it's natural in a sense, the curiosity. She was popular in certain online circles and it was easy to look up, and curiosity got the better of me. Besides she told me she used to go through her ex bf's phone sometimes so eh it goes both ways. Who's the bad guy in a scenario where, for example, you look up your gf and she used to do porn?

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