How do I cope with the fact that despite being born with vagina, aka having a natural boost in social relations, I somehow still managed to alienate a...

How do I cope with the fact that despite being born with vegana, aka having a natural boost in social relations, I somehow still managed to alienate and get hated by everybody I've ever worked with or studied with? It has become so bad I literally cannot find a job because everybody in my profession has somehow prejudice against me and wont even talk to me. I get that I am not some genious but this is starting to get ridiculous. I know so many people who are just worse than me at everything and they are doing fine. I read that there was a research that neurotypicals somehow just sniff autists out and avoid them naturally, and I am downspiraling into just seeing it as that even though my autist is nowhere severe, I can mask and function very well. How come everybody in this god forsaken city already knows that I am a yucky weirdo? I feel like my own country is trying to abort me, idk, like there is nowhere else to go here. Is fricking off to different shores my only option left? I am barely able to keep my shit togther emotionally due to this all encompassing rejection by society.

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    how is your hygeiene? do you have resting b***h face? how is your natural demeanor? are you ugly? rate yourself correctly, you'll probably find our why. or people are just bsuy and too crabbed up to deal with another person in the world. could be anything. check yourself out.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      hygiene*

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I am certainly average in all of those regards. Needless to say that whatever is wrong, I am at a point in which I would not get a chance to fix anything because everybody disregards me already.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Have you been able to notice what it is in particular that provokes people?
        What are you like in conversation?
        What conflicts have you had with other students, or colleagues?

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What do you do to them? You must have some idea

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The thing is I do not do anything! We just have regular convos for few times, nothing hard on the heart or politics, and then the people ghost me irl.

      do you hate men? if so i would like to offer you my body so you can cut me to pieces.

      I dont hate men.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        > We just have regular convos for few times, nothing hard on the heart or politics, and then the people ghost me irl.
        Well, that is how it used to be, nowadays people just ignore me to my face when I try to contact them.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        ah my bad, sorry. maybe you're just in a really shitty circle of a tightly knit community, it happens. if your profession is able to worked on in a different place, i'd try that. but i have a hard time believing you've actually alienated totally everyone

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >you've actually alienated totally everyone
          easier done than said. Happens to plenty of people.

          I am certainly average in all of those regards. Needless to say that whatever is wrong, I am at a point in which I would not get a chance to fix anything because everybody disregards me already.

          You'll never get the chance to fix anything especially once that (accurate assessment and) attitude takes hold.
          Truthfully you're better off figuring out whether or not the way you talk gives away what you really think - I think you overestimate your ability to mask your beliefs and think lesser (and likely rightly) of those around you.
          Combine that with already low social capital, and you're bound to fail out, even as a woman.

          Drop a discord and we can talk more.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Happens to plenty of people.
            legit homie? i cant even imagine it myself. how does that shit even happen?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            just be different or picked for it. It's like all the other copes about making friends but in reverse, where it actually works.
            I've been that guy, and yeah sure I was an butthole, as a response. Sometimes it's just moving to a truly prejudiced and xenophobic culture like Hawaii (all the condescension of the Japanese and literally none of the manners, with the intelligence of the Polynesians). Sometimes it's just being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and the fallout of that compounds literally without you ever being aware of it.

            Worst part is OP is right, you literally could not fix it if you tried in most cases, and moving is the only reasonable answer unless you have a really important reason to stay and just "deal with it."

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            thats pretty fricked, but its obvious when you explain it. i did think moving was the most reasonable answer, somehow i nailed it without knowing wtf im talking about lol

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well, the other part is learning what does put people off and wearing the mask better. You can still make your situation slightly better or worse.

            Offers still open, drop a contact and I'll be your acquaintance - we can play vidya/watch movies and vc about shit if you want. If not, good luck with the move.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >shitty circle of a tightly knit community
          Unfortunately, that is the case.
          >you've actually alienated totally everyone
          well I still have my mom and grandparents at least. They are the last straw that keeps me here, because if I move out I will lose them and its not guaranteed I'd find a replacement in any sense.

          > ppl have told me its my body language
          Ive never been diagnosed as neurodivergent but people point out that my body language feels off and ask me if im autistic or smt all the time.
          Try practicing facial expressions and different postures with a mirror, then practice talking to people and see if they still get that ick.

          I probably do have somewhat weird body language moments but like idk I can't look at myself from the side all the time.

          I have witnessed a woman commit social suicide by constantly criticizing everything people said. Literally shit like "Yeah I haven't visited there yet" being met with "Oh wow, you haven't even done that since moving here? Why? Why haven't you done that, what is wrong with you? Red flag...". She was the most unpleasant person I ever met. Did you do anything like this?

          >you've actually alienated totally everyone
          easier done than said. Happens to plenty of people.
          [...]
          You'll never get the chance to fix anything especially once that (accurate assessment and) attitude takes hold.
          Truthfully you're better off figuring out whether or not the way you talk gives away what you really think - I think you overestimate your ability to mask your beliefs and think lesser (and likely rightly) of those around you.
          Combine that with already low social capital, and you're bound to fail out, even as a woman.

          Drop a discord and we can talk more.

          >Truthfully you're better off figuring out whether or not the way you talk gives away what you really think - I think you overestimate your ability to mask your beliefs and think lesser (and likely rightly) of those around you.
          How would I evaluate that? I generally avoid talking about myself and just reaffirm opposite talker because I learned that expressing my opinions lead to bullying a like 9 years of age.

          Have you been able to notice what it is in particular that provokes people?
          What are you like in conversation?
          What conflicts have you had with other students, or colleagues?

          >Happens to plenty of people.
          legit homie? i cant even imagine it myself. how does that shit even happen?

          Provoke I feel like is a weird word here. Because there is no open conflict, it's just that at some point people start to avoid me. But it doesnt happen in the middle of dialogue or something, more gradual. I could deal with people not personally vibing with me after interaction, but the problem is that I reached a point in which othera wont even properly uphold a first interaction and try to avoid me immediately, so the those people are clearly already having some opinions on me formed based on opinions from others.
          Also I do not know if it is a coincidence or not, but I feel like those opinions have taken a massive hit with ukraine war starting in 2022. Because I am ethnically russian. But maybe I am just imagining things, because frankly there have been some conflicts in relation to my mother tongue in my childhood as well.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            oh yeah the russian thing is probably 90% of it unironically, people are just NPCs and want to hate what they hate. fricking brootal. it probably started with one c**t talking shit and spread from there, all i can say is unlucky. i think you gotta move if its this bad, and sacrifices must be made. im geniunely shocked that you wont cut me to pieces tho, slavs are angry angry people

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >people are just NPCs
            >except me I am an individual thinker
            Lol.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Do you constantly go, putin good, russia dindu nuffin, we are just defending ourselves? That would get everyone to hate you yes.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I do not talk about politics and I am not interested in modern russia in the slightest.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            NPC detected

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            lol being russian will certainly offend NPCs

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >unironically using the word NPC
            Aren't you a special snowflake.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            it's a handy shorthand, don't get so worked up about it

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            In this case I guess it means "people smarter than me".

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            In this case it means people who are so impressionable they think it's OK to discriminate against somebody for their ethnicity because their government is the bad guy

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    do you hate men? if so i would like to offer you my body so you can cut me to pieces.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    > ppl have told me its my body language
    Ive never been diagnosed as neurodivergent but people point out that my body language feels off and ask me if im autistic or smt all the time.
    Try practicing facial expressions and different postures with a mirror, then practice talking to people and see if they still get that ick.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have witnessed a woman commit social suicide by constantly criticizing everything people said. Literally shit like "Yeah I haven't visited there yet" being met with "Oh wow, you haven't even done that since moving here? Why? Why haven't you done that, what is wrong with you? Red flag...". She was the most unpleasant person I ever met. Did you do anything like this?

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    People are sensitive to leeches. Lots of autists, even functioning ones, are time sinks because you have to manage their conversation before they derail and waste a bunch of time that you have to "humor". Or, if you're studying with people and always behind and needing lots of help and not getting it, people will eventually start avoiding those situations.
    Essentially, reciprocity.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I am generally ahead of the average person when it comes to studying stuff. So I dunno... Retaining and copying is just something I do very well.

      Maybe you should switch careers after you've consulted a career counselor. Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to do something else that's more suitable for your personality. You can also ask for feedback from your bosses. If they don't want to give it to you, call them and pretend to be an employer.

      Yes, socializing is important. It's not enough that you do your job excellently. It's unfair, but it is what it is.

      I can't what job could fit me more. I already chose a profession that would have as little human interaction as possible, but somehow I still need to have strong social skills to get anywhere with it.

      >Yes, socializing is important. It's not enough that you do your job excellently. It's unfair, but it is what it is.
      I wish someone told me that when I was younger. I neglected my social development as a teen and just focused on grades like the adults said, and the result was that I became unable to relate to normalgays, so despite the fact that I did my first job very well, nobody felt comfortable around me and I made no friends, which I honestly did not care about at all since I thought "I'm just here to work", but then I got fired because I "wasn't a good fit for company culture" and other sterilized versions of telling me I was a weirdo who made people uncomfortable. I was very confused at the time, the world wasn't working the way I was told it did and had believed up until that point. Gradually, I learned that it was all wrong, and while yes, being skilled at your job is certainly important, the most important skill in life is being able to talk to people. If you make friends with people, you will get ahead in life far better than an autist. The autist will merely be treated as a tool and exploited by the social people, who climb the ranks while being buddies with bosses and think of you like a beast of burden because you aren't social. So take this into consideration OP, and be careful out there in this jungle of an environment.

      I honestly dont mind being a stepping stone for somebody as long as I have a stable place for myself. I don't want much from life. And I mean it is not like you can compensate different wiring with simply studying, when it comes to sociality it seems that mimicry simply doesnt to the job.

      >Ethnically Russian.
      What type of crap.. Do you tell people that? Isn’t that just a regulararse person?
      Just wear tight jeans and keep it zipped.

      What? People can tell by accent or my surname.

      you dont need a job, just get a boyfriend and be a stay at home wife/mom

      I am not comfortable with traditional feminine roles and duties. I would have trooned out if the society I lived in was still rigid in gender roles. I feel utterly worthless and depressed when I have to depend on others.

      Not OP but I would do that if there were any date-able men.

      I wouldnt. Even if I found a perfect man, which I once did but then ran away from him because I felt perpetually threatened by his masculinity and competence. I can only deal in manchildren because they give me sense of worth. I can teach them something and impress them and they are like "wow you are the best" and thats basically my reason to live.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It seems to me like you’re visibly uncomfortable with social interaction, and people start to avoid you as a result. It’s not typically hatred (although autism won’t endear you to everyone, especially not if one of your tics is hating the feeling of dependence), it’s just mutual discomfort.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe you should switch careers after you've consulted a career counselor. Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to do something else that's more suitable for your personality. You can also ask for feedback from your bosses. If they don't want to give it to you, call them and pretend to be an employer.

    Yes, socializing is important. It's not enough that you do your job excellently. It's unfair, but it is what it is.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Yes, socializing is important. It's not enough that you do your job excellently. It's unfair, but it is what it is.
      I wish someone told me that when I was younger. I neglected my social development as a teen and just focused on grades like the adults said, and the result was that I became unable to relate to normalgays, so despite the fact that I did my first job very well, nobody felt comfortable around me and I made no friends, which I honestly did not care about at all since I thought "I'm just here to work", but then I got fired because I "wasn't a good fit for company culture" and other sterilized versions of telling me I was a weirdo who made people uncomfortable. I was very confused at the time, the world wasn't working the way I was told it did and had believed up until that point. Gradually, I learned that it was all wrong, and while yes, being skilled at your job is certainly important, the most important skill in life is being able to talk to people. If you make friends with people, you will get ahead in life far better than an autist. The autist will merely be treated as a tool and exploited by the social people, who climb the ranks while being buddies with bosses and think of you like a beast of burden because you aren't social. So take this into consideration OP, and be careful out there in this jungle of an environment.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Ethnically Russian.
    What type of crap.. Do you tell people that? Isn’t that just a regulararse person?
    Just wear tight jeans and keep it zipped.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you dont need a job, just get a boyfriend and be a stay at home wife/mom

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not OP but I would do that if there were any date-able men.

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