How do I cope with the regret knowing my ex-gf was the love of my life?

How do I cope with the regret knowing my ex-gf was the love of my life? I lost her due to dumb mistakes and emotional immaturity, (didn't cheat or anything like that).

Packing for a trip, just found an old letter she wrote me. It's been 7 months, and I'm not over her. At this point, I don't think I'll ever actually be over her. Like the emotional pain will subside sure, but I'm always going to be wishing I still had her. She was perfect for me on so many little levels. Frick me, I don't see how I could ever find a girl as good as her/that I love as much as her again, I fumbled so hard by losing her.

Will this pain literally just haunt me for the rest of my life?? Will it ever go away?

I don't see how I could ever find a girl I love as much as her. I dated two different girls for about a month during our separation. I liked then, but they weren't anywhere near my ex.

I think I'm fricked. I think I will have to carry this for the rest of my life. I legit think she was my soulmate/the one, and I fricked it up because I had so much growing to do and I was so immature

Frick guys, I think it's over for me

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's been close to 7 years and I'm not over mine. It's brutal.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >12 years later and i still dream of my ex

      Jesus, so that confirms I am actually fricked and I'm gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

      Frick, that's disheartening

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        sorry anon, I don't want to lie and say "you'll be over her in no time"
        hell, even if you get another girl, you still might be thinking of your ex sometimes
        it's always gonna be a part of you

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I know you want to lie, it's just.... heavy

          It's heavy to know I fricked up and I have to deal with it for the rest of my life, that's really difficult to deal with, I have a long time to live, and I'll miss her for the rest of my life, frick

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >12 years later and i still dream of my ex

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's been close to 7 years and I'm not over mine. It's brutal.

      For me it's been almost five years. I've had two long term girlfriends and still think of her every day and dream about her almost every night.

      It's part of being a man, I guess.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Frick me that's so disheartening, I'm so fricked

        Ill have to suffer with this forever

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >It's been 7 months, and I'm not over her.
    That is not that long.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    was she your first serious relationship?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kinda yeah,

      Well I mean, so I dated a girl for 3.5 years between 18-21ish, that relationship was longer, but I don't really count it as the first serious one, the last year was half long distance for college anyway

      Beyond that I had multiple short term things

      Her I was with 2 Years and it was more serious, first serious really. We lived together one year of that, and we also went on like 5 trips together, spent a week and a half in a van, we're super close with my best friend and his gf

      Idk, I think I'm fricked, I'm trying to focus on her downsides

      Part of the reason we broke up is she never wanted kids, and was actively trying to get her tubes tied, and I wasn't in a rush about kids, but I wasn't sure.
      The other part is that she could be a little unstable during fights, she would sometimes yell, belittle, and call me the nastiest names like "stupid frick", etc.

      I can try to focus on that

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >he never wanted kids, and was actively trying to get her tubes tied,
        I don't think you fricked up then, something like that would've melted your relationship down the line regardless. she was not "the one" for you, keep on looking m8

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >during fights, she would sometimes yell, belittle, and call me the nastiest names like "stupid frick", etc.
        i agree that the no kids argument is a big one so focus on that, but I've never dated a girl that didn't scream the worst shit when they're mad. That's kinda universal girl thing, but they will apologize and say they didn't mean it later

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    could be worse, you could be traumatized by your abusive ex ten years on
    learn from your mistakes and try again
    but realize your first mistake is thinking there's a "the one"
    your next relationship might be exactly what you actually needed and not just your puppy love fantasy

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That gives me some hope, thank you

      >during fights, she would sometimes yell, belittle, and call me the nastiest names like "stupid frick", etc.
      i agree that the no kids argument is a big one so focus on that, but I've never dated a girl that didn't scream the worst shit when they're mad. That's kinda universal girl thing, but they will apologize and say they didn't mean it later

      The kids thing, but idk, I asked so many of my friends and they all said they never talked to each like that as couples, idk maybe I was just being a puss, but the kids thing was legit. She was actively trying to get her tubes tied, so I would have have to have decided if I was truly good with never having kids, what if I stayed with her and then regretted that at 45?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If you really love this girl so much then you'll accept that you'll never get kids and you go on out there and get her back. If instead you love kids more than this girl then don't think twice about it and carry on with your life.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >It's been 7 months
    Whoah twinsies!

    Well, seeing as we are in the same boat, all I can say is that you should always cherish the beautiful moments you had together. There’s no way for me to contact or reach out to the girl I lost and I sort of just started coming to terms with the fact that she’s likely moved on. Women have an easier time moving on because I don’t think they really are capable of truly loving anyone but themselves. That’s a big pill to swallow but the truth will set you free. Live free or die hard. Tough times ahead.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How do I cope with the regret knowing my ex-gf was the love of my life?
    Keep telling yourself that suffering builds character until you run into a deus ex machina where you kiss and make up with her again.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cope by saying it wasn't meant to be or some shit. Seven months is nothing. I'm half a decade past your point and it still stings. It'll get more numb with time, including the realization that there's no backup plan and no going back. You missed out.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    soulmate or not, you need to have the self reliance to take it or leave it. the best advice i can give is to create a new life, get new hobbies, and meet new people, if you leave your life in a vacum, you will be a prisoner of the past.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    > the love of my life
    You cope by beginning to understand that this is a childish view of life, and growing the frick up.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It’s not childish. Childish would be hopping from one partner to another expecting different results. Choose one person to mate with and leave it at that you filthy degenerates

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If she was the love of your life she wouldn't be your ex.

    Hell, I'm still getting over losing my gorgeous and smart therapist that I was crushing on, but life goes on. You'll find someone new anon, just work on yourself.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I think I'm fricked. I think I will have to carry this for the rest of my life.
    And what's so wrong if you do?
    Relationships aren't things that people just get over from especially if they meant something.
    The reminder of your failed relationship is the incentive to be better next time. You don't have to turn that pain into hatred or anything. Just a reminder to be better.

    I still think about ex friends and an ex that was very important to me. He wasn't even worth my time and still isn't (he cheated) but I wanted to marry him at the time and was building that life with him. People in our lives touch us. That doesn't mean you have to go chase them or something, it's just experiences to reflect on.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well, I guess I just have to live with the fact that I lost the love of my life, and I have to live with that forever, it's going to hurt

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    hey man.
    ill say it the way it is; you will never get over your heartbreaks, no matter how much time passes you will forever love that person. even if you move on and get to know a diff girl, you will still have some part of your heart that belongs to your ex. my advise: text your ex a respectful message and let her know how you feel, and then, if shes truly your soulmate she will text you back and you guys will get back together, speaking from recent experience.
    gl soldier.

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