How does one overcome schizoid tendencies, learn to be social, make friends and meet girls, and get involved in activities?

How does one overcome schizoid tendencies, learn to be social, make friends and meet girls, and get involved in activities? I'm legit schizoid, thought I was autistic then just moronic for a while and need some help/advice.

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You won't get any good advice from people who have never been in your shoes.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There's many people on here like me who have similar experiences/problems and perhaps have advice on how to deal with it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Different anon here. I was diagnosed with a personality disorder and was either misdiagnosed or stopped meeting the whole criteria for the disorder. Improvement is possible.

      Also, schizoid as a construct seems to imply you don't want friends. It's a confusing construct. People have tried to associate it with schizotypal traits in the past, but schizotypal now describes a person who wants to connect to others but is too scared and bizarre.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Isn't at the core of schizoid that they crave social attachment, intimacy, etc. but can't connect or instinctively push others away?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's a construct. There are people who crave connection but push others away. That could describe avoidant or schizotypal.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Either way what's the fix?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you for being honest!

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Make money, get rich and the rest will follow

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I make decent money right now, but the chances of anyone becoming rich with the impending collapse is slim

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Bullshit. If you were really a true woke yolo person you would invest heavily in an asset that's about to go up. That's how so many people become Bitcoin millionaires.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Woke isn’t a good thing anon. Have you followed your own advice and become rich?

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have a tidbit I always say in threads like this. Personality disorder is a diagnostic construct describing behavioral and cognitive patterns. It's not a prescription for how you must act.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >> How does one overcome schizoid tendencies

    You don't. You've got bad wiring son. Just take your meds and don't hurt anyone. Those are your life goals.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Don't hurt anyone? Not a psycho anon

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Anon there are no meds for schizoid

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pls help

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Buy a planner and write down all the social activities you want to do in a month and try to follow it. Ex: thurday I will call carl, friday I will go to a bar with lenny and saturday I will visit my parents.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What if one doesn't know a Carl or Lenny? Part of the pickle I'm in is that all my friends either moved away or drifted apart and lost contact.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Come on man you don’t truly lose contact with people in anno domini (Iesus Christus) 2024. You can find them on facebook, instagram or through family members and shit.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I never had that many to begin with. And for the ones I did, what do you say?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't use social media. I tried it and I fricking hated it.

          Nobody responds to anything I post.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I’m in the same boat, I have some Facebook friends but no one seems to care what happens it’s like I’m shadow banned on Facebook and irl. As a result I never post anything

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get diagnosed, work with your doctor, work with the people close to you (no matter how many you got)

    You can get better.

    You're a good person and you deserve freedom and happiness.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I haven't seen any therapists, mental health professionals, etc. because of the stigma. I'm also slightly embarrassed by my situation.

      yeah
      I legitimate schizoid as well and just thought I was autistic
      I went from hating even talking to people or going and doing shit with others, always feelings constrained to even have gone somewhere with someone to just talking to people and easily making casual friendships where you go and do shit with people
      some of them turn into deeper friendships, many stay casual, and very often its just people you talk to for a day and then never see again, and I enjoy all of these experiences

      What is the process like for establishing those friendships?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        to friendship has very obvious and clear delineations and doing things slightly into the next group with some sort of bridge is how you move people into the next one
        the tiers would be
        >people you don't know
        >acquaintances
        as in people you know but don't really engage with, this can be a colleague on your team who you don't talk to outside of required work activities, a classmate, etc
        >close acquaintances
        people you actually speak to at some thing (work, school, hobby, etc), my litmus test for this is, if I run into this person on the street randomly, would I think it would be okay to have a conversation with them randomly, would I enjoy this, would it feel weird, if the answer is yes then we are probably close acquaintances, many people call this tier "friend" but I don't think so, these are very transitory people who you might talk to for years but then never see again.
        To bring someone to CA (close acquaintance) from A (acquaintance), you just need to build a rapport with them at whatever thing you see them at regularly, and this can just be a person you regularly see at a certain place and such.
        >friend
        I don't think this needs explanation, but to move from CA to F, it to me requires that you do things with this person outside of some regular scheduled or related to that thing.
        So if you hang out at work during your breaks and chat during down time, maybe even go to work events and have a good time you aren't friends just CA, until you organize unrelated things you aren't friends, a great example is I play card games in person, those people aren't my friends, they are CA, sure I see them a lot and talk to them a lot, but only in the context of card games, some I have played with BECAME friends, but thats because I did things with them outside of that context.
        The easiest way to bridge the gap is to find other related interests you share and organize things about that or other things you want to do that they seem suitable for.
        this shouldn't happen in

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          [...]
          this shouldn't happen in 1 go, you don't suddenly jump tiers but its a gradual process
          organize something with them, go to a movie, concert, some new place to eat, play games online, etc but ideally you do this in a more casual way that naturally does these things, for example you might be talking to this CA and your day is finishing up, they mention they are hungry, you say you are as well and wanted to try X place out and why you are interested, kind of selling them on the idea, if they are interested you go together (or hint at it, you don't always need to be direct) and there is a good chance they say see, suddenly you are bridging that gap to being friends, this happens a few more times with other things and you talk about whatever while you do these things and you are going to get invited to things by them and are going to organize and schedule things with them specifically, you are now friends.
          food is always a really easy one, but be careful of misunderstanding when this event occurs, if you go as a group to something afterwards thats different and is an "add on" to that things you know them at rather than working towards being friends, it can, especially if you have already made other efforts, but it wont necessarily.

          this is also what you can do if you DON'T want to be friends with someone, simply never do stuff with them outside of the preset things you interact with them for (work, school, hobbies, place you regularly visit, etc) and you can have extremely flimsy reasons and it won't matter as you aren't friends, if you do things with them and lead them on then you will have to deal with them thinking of you as a friend.

          >close friends
          now this is just friends you have known for a long time and do a lot of things with, talk a lot with, and personally know a lot about you.
          I think this more people where you each talk about yourself personally a lot as well AND what you are doing or interests but not just the latter.

          [...]
          [...]
          to me, the best way to transition people from acquaintances to CA to friend is to make a lot of acquaintances and get them on the path to CA while you decide if you actually like them or not
          you may be shocked to find out, but most people I am not interested in being friends with, talk with them and figure out if they are the kind of person you can vibe with as well as if they have similar interests, regardless of what people say, without interests in common its hard to ever do shit with people and many people who talk about how they make friends easily usually are just talking about acquaintances, thats not to say some people don't make friends easily, but they are just people who make acquaintances easily and by instinct invite people to do things and fulfill this process quickly.

          because of my work video games is often an easy one as the high % of people who play them a lot, somehow some multiplayer game comes up, talk about it, maybe play with them, this happens a few times, you go do other things with them, oops your friends, they might not be the type of person to organize too much stuff but you can invite them and they will want to come do stuff with you if they are even a little interested in it.
          finding opportunities to discuss things outside of what you are doing (so not talking about work at work, school at school, hobby at hobby, etc) and then converting them into doing something is a great way to make friends, I made a good friend iv known for years because he was going to a concert and needed to buy tickets for it on his phone since they were releasing particularly at this time, this opened up an avenue to talk about music, I asked about the artist, I was vaguely interested in the genre, said I didn't know too much about music and they were interested in "teaching" me and broadening my musical horizons, we talked about music occasionally from them on, went to stuff afterwards, and then you are friends.

          iv also done that last example many times with other interests, clothes/fashion, books and different genres from what I normally would read, completely different hobbies.

          I am just interested in a lot of things and trying out stuff, so engaging with people about their interests as a way to quickly be able to get into other things where someone you know shows you the ropes and guides you while you also build a friendship with them is great. Eventually people leave, you leave, circumstances change and the such and they fade out of your life, but thats okay, some close friends you will know for many many years and go out of your way to stay in contact with and organize things with no even if its more difficult when you can, but others are fine to let go and move on, if you run into them again or circumstances change again, then you can return to being friends and its great.

          iv been doing this and thinking about it in this way for many years, sometimes I stumbled into these situations when I was younger and in my early 20's with only a vague idea of how this would happen but still recognizing the above, but the older I got the more deliberate I could in what friendships I cultivated with people.
          don't fall into the trap of people pleasing or trying to do a lot for others, it feels weird to be on the receiving end of this, but the better I have gotten the more I have noticed I run into people like this who don't know what they are doing and try to give too much to be friends with someone, recognizing and not holding it against them but trying to help them overcome it is great as well, but just being a real friend to them often is a big deal for them as many fall into this from being insecure or from lacking friends and regularly social connection and don't take advantage of them after you build up your skills.

          you can make friends, you can do it, you don't need to be amazing, the bar is low, you meet it, but are probably failing elsewhere.

          Thank you for breaking that down anon, probably the best reply I’ve gotten on this site. With the way my brain works the way you spelled it out definitely helps me see what I need to do. As to your last line I am failing in that I would inadvertently/unintentionally push people away. How do you reach out to others or hit them up without sounding gay or desperate?

          If you're a real schizoid you don't overcome it. You would lack both the ability and desire to connect with other people

          as the anon who wrote up all that stuff, I don't think you mean me but the OP but I am still going to answer
          I don't really want to connect with other people and its why I for so long understood that this is how I can keep people from being friends with me and bothering me.

          But I do want to do things that involve other people and having other people you can contact for things is extremely beneficial, I overcame my inability to socialize with people so that I can get what I want which involves other people, notice what I talked about and how its to find people to do things you want to do with or how to get people to teach or show you things and develop friendships from that

          As others have mentioned above, schizoid is a construct and there are many who do desire social interaction but internally reject it. I don’t know if I would even consider myself one of those, one of my biggest problems is social anxiety and many of my issues stem from that

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I can't speak for you, but there were two factors for me
            first was recognizing what I was doing, I realized fairly young as a teenager what I was doing and I was perfectly happy with that as I was in a situation with a overabundance of people trying to get to know me for a variety of different reasons (that I won't get into, its not as glamorous as it sounds) so that was a conscious choice for me, if you don't want to associate with people there isn't really much to change, if you want to you and know what you are doing, you can recognize and not do things (to an extent, we are human) that would push people away, if you don't know you might do it unintentionally, so realizing what you are doing is a big step and actually wanting to associate with people is all you need imo

            the second is why the frick you would actually want to associate with people.
            For me it was a variety of reasons, I wanted other people to engage in things I was interested in, especially if I could the same people to engage with for multiple interests to have to manage things less, for benefits in other areas of my life as well which is why I wanted to associate with others.

            I also found that after a long time of pushing people away it required me to act different to advance friendships, I understood well how I could STOP people getting closer to me, which was valuable for doing the inverse, but with less ideal situations for meeting people I had to work on how to do that.
            The biggest problem for me wasn't being able to find A friend of group of friends, but specifically to find SPECIFIC friends where I would meet a individual who I thought was someone I wanted to be friends with and how would I facilitate that, it can definitely seem a bit manipulative to frame it in this way, but its very a normal and reasonable thing to do.

            The best way to ask people to do something for you is to either let them volunteer or to make them doing something for you not about them doing something

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I understand that line line is a vague
            but what I mean is that you either want to talk about something with someone and let them volunteer to help you, people are not stupid and realize at what you are getting at and if they have a relevant skillset they will often happily volunteer.
            To exactly what extent you want help with might different and you can kind of get people to help more through this method than they would normally offer to help if you outright asked by kind of getting them "invested" first
            for example lets say you have a computer issue and you want your friend to help you, but you think its a bigger issue so you don't want to just talk to them about it (either a call, voice chat, whatever) but want them to come by as you think the first will insufficient, so you can broach a smaller issue like "hey im having some trouble with X do you know what might be up?" then you slowly bring that into a call, and then when you continue to have issues you can broach the "maybe you should come by to help me with this?".

            Now this carries onto the second technique, don't make it about them doing something.
            of course your friend wants to come and help you, even an acquaintance might very well want to, but it feels a bit weird and if its something they professionally do it can be awkward to talk about things like compensation as is this a friendly small thing or a professional thing, I think the best way to handle this is to completely circumvent the issue.
            Instead of just having them come by and do X thing, organize with the context of help me with X then we can go do Y, again an easy one is food, like "come by on saturday, help me with my computer, then we can go grab lunch on me", this is the whole do it for "case of beer and pizza" meme you see brought up.
            as now its no longer just about doing the thing, its a social outing, they get SOMETHING for it and also remember the social experience afterwards instead of the thing they had to do.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            this also works with the "do you want to come by and do Z?" only to get ambushed by them wanting help with something
            if its someone you regularly see and do this regularly, bringing up you need help with something is completely fine and A-OK, its pretty much the perfect time to bring it up, especially if they can help right then and there, even for things like "oh I was looking for a new job, is your company hiring?" while you play games or something, maybe you even KNOW their company is hiring.
            but be careful not just of doing the first situation where u ambush people, but of people who do it to you, you can definitely do it if you just want help from people and don't care at all about your long term relationship with them, but this isn't something you should do if you actually want it to work, its very psychopath behaviour, instead be upfront and use the example like in the prior post, where you ask for help and offer a social experience afterwards which is what they remember.

            idk about you, but I had plenty of both of these happen just from having a useful skill set, I definitely hated people who did and avoided them, but when someone did the former and was clear I generally enjoyed it and even if it wasn't someone I knew super well I usually still had an enjoyable time and thought better of them.
            If you just struggle to ask at all, then there isn't much I can say about that, its really difficult and anxiety is hard, I struggle with it too, but its not bravery if you aren't afraid, the more you do it, the less brave you need to be, sometimes its perfectly fine to ask people about stuff and if its someone you see regularly for whatever reason thats the PERFECT time to bring it up in conversation and there is 0 issue in asking them when you have a 1:1 situation, it can be very difficult to bring it up randomly up the blue outside of this I understand, but the more you do it the better techniques you will find.
            Practice makes perfect, and this is a skill

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I understand that line line is a vague
            but what I mean is that you either want to talk about something with someone and let them volunteer to help you, people are not stupid and realize at what you are getting at and if they have a relevant skillset they will often happily volunteer.
            To exactly what extent you want help with might different and you can kind of get people to help more through this method than they would normally offer to help if you outright asked by kind of getting them "invested" first
            for example lets say you have a computer issue and you want your friend to help you, but you think its a bigger issue so you don't want to just talk to them about it (either a call, voice chat, whatever) but want them to come by as you think the first will insufficient, so you can broach a smaller issue like "hey im having some trouble with X do you know what might be up?" then you slowly bring that into a call, and then when you continue to have issues you can broach the "maybe you should come by to help me with this?".

            Now this carries onto the second technique, don't make it about them doing something.
            of course your friend wants to come and help you, even an acquaintance might very well want to, but it feels a bit weird and if its something they professionally do it can be awkward to talk about things like compensation as is this a friendly small thing or a professional thing, I think the best way to handle this is to completely circumvent the issue.
            Instead of just having them come by and do X thing, organize with the context of help me with X then we can go do Y, again an easy one is food, like "come by on saturday, help me with my computer, then we can go grab lunch on me", this is the whole do it for "case of beer and pizza" meme you see brought up.
            as now its no longer just about doing the thing, its a social outing, they get SOMETHING for it and also remember the social experience afterwards instead of the thing they had to do.

            this also works with the "do you want to come by and do Z?" only to get ambushed by them wanting help with something
            if its someone you regularly see and do this regularly, bringing up you need help with something is completely fine and A-OK, its pretty much the perfect time to bring it up, especially if they can help right then and there, even for things like "oh I was looking for a new job, is your company hiring?" while you play games or something, maybe you even KNOW their company is hiring.
            but be careful not just of doing the first situation where u ambush people, but of people who do it to you, you can definitely do it if you just want help from people and don't care at all about your long term relationship with them, but this isn't something you should do if you actually want it to work, its very psychopath behaviour, instead be upfront and use the example like in the prior post, where you ask for help and offer a social experience afterwards which is what they remember.

            idk about you, but I had plenty of both of these happen just from having a useful skill set, I definitely hated people who did and avoided them, but when someone did the former and was clear I generally enjoyed it and even if it wasn't someone I knew super well I usually still had an enjoyable time and thought better of them.
            If you just struggle to ask at all, then there isn't much I can say about that, its really difficult and anxiety is hard, I struggle with it too, but its not bravery if you aren't afraid, the more you do it, the less brave you need to be, sometimes its perfectly fine to ask people about stuff and if its someone you see regularly for whatever reason thats the PERFECT time to bring it up in conversation and there is 0 issue in asking them when you have a 1:1 situation, it can be very difficult to bring it up randomly up the blue outside of this I understand, but the more you do it the better techniques you will find.
            Practice makes perfect, and this is a skill

            Thank you for the extensive replies, answered most of the thread and helped to shed light on some issues I've been having, just need to practice my social skills

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        to friendship has very obvious and clear delineations and doing things slightly into the next group with some sort of bridge is how you move people into the next one
        the tiers would be
        >people you don't know
        >acquaintances
        as in people you know but don't really engage with, this can be a colleague on your team who you don't talk to outside of required work activities, a classmate, etc
        >close acquaintances
        people you actually speak to at some thing (work, school, hobby, etc), my litmus test for this is, if I run into this person on the street randomly, would I think it would be okay to have a conversation with them randomly, would I enjoy this, would it feel weird, if the answer is yes then we are probably close acquaintances, many people call this tier "friend" but I don't think so, these are very transitory people who you might talk to for years but then never see again.
        To bring someone to CA (close acquaintance) from A (acquaintance), you just need to build a rapport with them at whatever thing you see them at regularly, and this can just be a person you regularly see at a certain place and such.
        >friend
        I don't think this needs explanation, but to move from CA to F, it to me requires that you do things with this person outside of some regular scheduled or related to that thing.
        So if you hang out at work during your breaks and chat during down time, maybe even go to work events and have a good time you aren't friends just CA, until you organize unrelated things you aren't friends, a great example is I play card games in person, those people aren't my friends, they are CA, sure I see them a lot and talk to them a lot, but only in the context of card games, some I have played with BECAME friends, but thats because I did things with them outside of that context.
        The easiest way to bridge the gap is to find other related interests you share and organize things about that or other things you want to do that they seem suitable for.
        this shouldn't happen in

        this shouldn't happen in 1 go, you don't suddenly jump tiers but its a gradual process
        organize something with them, go to a movie, concert, some new place to eat, play games online, etc but ideally you do this in a more casual way that naturally does these things, for example you might be talking to this CA and your day is finishing up, they mention they are hungry, you say you are as well and wanted to try X place out and why you are interested, kind of selling them on the idea, if they are interested you go together (or hint at it, you don't always need to be direct) and there is a good chance they say see, suddenly you are bridging that gap to being friends, this happens a few more times with other things and you talk about whatever while you do these things and you are going to get invited to things by them and are going to organize and schedule things with them specifically, you are now friends.
        food is always a really easy one, but be careful of misunderstanding when this event occurs, if you go as a group to something afterwards thats different and is an "add on" to that things you know them at rather than working towards being friends, it can, especially if you have already made other efforts, but it wont necessarily.

        this is also what you can do if you DON'T want to be friends with someone, simply never do stuff with them outside of the preset things you interact with them for (work, school, hobbies, place you regularly visit, etc) and you can have extremely flimsy reasons and it won't matter as you aren't friends, if you do things with them and lead them on then you will have to deal with them thinking of you as a friend.

        >close friends
        now this is just friends you have known for a long time and do a lot of things with, talk a lot with, and personally know a lot about you.
        I think this more people where you each talk about yourself personally a lot as well AND what you are doing or interests but not just the latter.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        to friendship has very obvious and clear delineations and doing things slightly into the next group with some sort of bridge is how you move people into the next one
        the tiers would be
        >people you don't know
        >acquaintances
        as in people you know but don't really engage with, this can be a colleague on your team who you don't talk to outside of required work activities, a classmate, etc
        >close acquaintances
        people you actually speak to at some thing (work, school, hobby, etc), my litmus test for this is, if I run into this person on the street randomly, would I think it would be okay to have a conversation with them randomly, would I enjoy this, would it feel weird, if the answer is yes then we are probably close acquaintances, many people call this tier "friend" but I don't think so, these are very transitory people who you might talk to for years but then never see again.
        To bring someone to CA (close acquaintance) from A (acquaintance), you just need to build a rapport with them at whatever thing you see them at regularly, and this can just be a person you regularly see at a certain place and such.
        >friend
        I don't think this needs explanation, but to move from CA to F, it to me requires that you do things with this person outside of some regular scheduled or related to that thing.
        So if you hang out at work during your breaks and chat during down time, maybe even go to work events and have a good time you aren't friends just CA, until you organize unrelated things you aren't friends, a great example is I play card games in person, those people aren't my friends, they are CA, sure I see them a lot and talk to them a lot, but only in the context of card games, some I have played with BECAME friends, but thats because I did things with them outside of that context.
        The easiest way to bridge the gap is to find other related interests you share and organize things about that or other things you want to do that they seem suitable for.
        this shouldn't happen in

        [...]
        this shouldn't happen in 1 go, you don't suddenly jump tiers but its a gradual process
        organize something with them, go to a movie, concert, some new place to eat, play games online, etc but ideally you do this in a more casual way that naturally does these things, for example you might be talking to this CA and your day is finishing up, they mention they are hungry, you say you are as well and wanted to try X place out and why you are interested, kind of selling them on the idea, if they are interested you go together (or hint at it, you don't always need to be direct) and there is a good chance they say see, suddenly you are bridging that gap to being friends, this happens a few more times with other things and you talk about whatever while you do these things and you are going to get invited to things by them and are going to organize and schedule things with them specifically, you are now friends.
        food is always a really easy one, but be careful of misunderstanding when this event occurs, if you go as a group to something afterwards thats different and is an "add on" to that things you know them at rather than working towards being friends, it can, especially if you have already made other efforts, but it wont necessarily.

        this is also what you can do if you DON'T want to be friends with someone, simply never do stuff with them outside of the preset things you interact with them for (work, school, hobbies, place you regularly visit, etc) and you can have extremely flimsy reasons and it won't matter as you aren't friends, if you do things with them and lead them on then you will have to deal with them thinking of you as a friend.

        >close friends
        now this is just friends you have known for a long time and do a lot of things with, talk a lot with, and personally know a lot about you.
        I think this more people where you each talk about yourself personally a lot as well AND what you are doing or interests but not just the latter.

        to me, the best way to transition people from acquaintances to CA to friend is to make a lot of acquaintances and get them on the path to CA while you decide if you actually like them or not
        you may be shocked to find out, but most people I am not interested in being friends with, talk with them and figure out if they are the kind of person you can vibe with as well as if they have similar interests, regardless of what people say, without interests in common its hard to ever do shit with people and many people who talk about how they make friends easily usually are just talking about acquaintances, thats not to say some people don't make friends easily, but they are just people who make acquaintances easily and by instinct invite people to do things and fulfill this process quickly.

        because of my work video games is often an easy one as the high % of people who play them a lot, somehow some multiplayer game comes up, talk about it, maybe play with them, this happens a few times, you go do other things with them, oops your friends, they might not be the type of person to organize too much stuff but you can invite them and they will want to come do stuff with you if they are even a little interested in it.
        finding opportunities to discuss things outside of what you are doing (so not talking about work at work, school at school, hobby at hobby, etc) and then converting them into doing something is a great way to make friends, I made a good friend iv known for years because he was going to a concert and needed to buy tickets for it on his phone since they were releasing particularly at this time, this opened up an avenue to talk about music, I asked about the artist, I was vaguely interested in the genre, said I didn't know too much about music and they were interested in "teaching" me and broadening my musical horizons, we talked about music occasionally from them on, went to stuff afterwards, and then you are friends.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          iv also done that last example many times with other interests, clothes/fashion, books and different genres from what I normally would read, completely different hobbies.

          I am just interested in a lot of things and trying out stuff, so engaging with people about their interests as a way to quickly be able to get into other things where someone you know shows you the ropes and guides you while you also build a friendship with them is great. Eventually people leave, you leave, circumstances change and the such and they fade out of your life, but thats okay, some close friends you will know for many many years and go out of your way to stay in contact with and organize things with no even if its more difficult when you can, but others are fine to let go and move on, if you run into them again or circumstances change again, then you can return to being friends and its great.

          iv been doing this and thinking about it in this way for many years, sometimes I stumbled into these situations when I was younger and in my early 20's with only a vague idea of how this would happen but still recognizing the above, but the older I got the more deliberate I could in what friendships I cultivated with people.
          don't fall into the trap of people pleasing or trying to do a lot for others, it feels weird to be on the receiving end of this, but the better I have gotten the more I have noticed I run into people like this who don't know what they are doing and try to give too much to be friends with someone, recognizing and not holding it against them but trying to help them overcome it is great as well, but just being a real friend to them often is a big deal for them as many fall into this from being insecure or from lacking friends and regularly social connection and don't take advantage of them after you build up your skills.

          you can make friends, you can do it, you don't need to be amazing, the bar is low, you meet it, but are probably failing elsewhere.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    yeah
    I legitimate schizoid as well and just thought I was autistic
    I went from hating even talking to people or going and doing shit with others, always feelings constrained to even have gone somewhere with someone to just talking to people and easily making casual friendships where you go and do shit with people
    some of them turn into deeper friendships, many stay casual, and very often its just people you talk to for a day and then never see again, and I enjoy all of these experiences

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you're a real schizoid you don't overcome it. You would lack both the ability and desire to connect with other people

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      as the anon who wrote up all that stuff, I don't think you mean me but the OP but I am still going to answer
      I don't really want to connect with other people and its why I for so long understood that this is how I can keep people from being friends with me and bothering me.

      But I do want to do things that involve other people and having other people you can contact for things is extremely beneficial, I overcame my inability to socialize with people so that I can get what I want which involves other people, notice what I talked about and how its to find people to do things you want to do with or how to get people to teach or show you things and develop friendships from that

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i live with a mentally ill schizo psychotic. all i can say is go see a therapist/counsellor.
    Refusal to do so will eventually lead to your death.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    First, figure out whether it’s avoidant personality disorder or schizoid PD. Avoidants want to connect with others but can’t and end up pushing them away, schizoids genuinely don’t care for relationships.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I certainly might have avoidant personality disorder but I also match many of the symptoms of schizoid. Either way I'm still somewhat able to function in society, would just like to improve my situation.

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