How to communicate to GF that she needs to prioritize me?

My GF has made a lot of progress in the past few months when it comes to turning her life around. However, she seems to have a problem with prioritizing me.
>She wanted to work out with me every day since my gym is right by her work. I moved around my rest days, lifting time, and lifting schedule to accommodate her. This is the second time she's cancelled on me this week, and I sent her picrel.
Her family is extremely toxic and is constantly demanding her to provide them with rides/favors/emotional validation and it always ends with her delaying, rescheduling, or outright cancelling our plans. Whenever she tells them that she has to leave because she wants to honor the plans she made with me, they sperg out and say she's being "selfish."
I had a conversation with her before about how I'm her #1 priority and need to be treated as such. She knows how toxic her family is but has self-admitted Stockholm Syndrome for them and they won't be going away any time soon. How exactly do I escalate this? My only idea thus far is ignoring her and limiting her access to me whenever she cancels or moves plans to condition her over time.

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    be direct about what your expectations are, and if they aren't met, communicate that

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Damaged goods gonna be like that.
    Are you ready to replace her family? Move far enough away to limit their access and be painted as the villain, possibly failing and in turn losing a good chunk of your life?
    There's a lot of serious under the hood shit to deal with and you need to be blunt in letting her know she has to decide where her future will be before you play these woman-brain games with her. Expect to be disappointed and prepare to move on.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Good point. I could tell her that she needs to make her choice between a future with me or a future as her brothers' wheelwoman and her grandma's handservant.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This gives me terrible flashbacks to my last relationship

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you're this unhappy while dating just imagine how it will be when married (everything gets worse)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I told her this is which is why she changed so much else about herself. I'll give her credit for that. This is just one last nagging issue.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you still lost. it takes sustained effort to act contrary your evil nature. after years of building resentment at how she has to keep it all up, she will meltdown and go back to how she was because it's easy. maybe you can keep her on best behavior if you're a millionaire or something, but if you're just a regular guy, you should just date a woman who doesn't have any "nagging issues"

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Okay
    Holy shit I felt that.

    What's wrong with women fellas?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I ignored her until she was ready to talk to me like an adult. lol

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you feel like you love her?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah. She's the only woman that's ever actually taken the time to understand that I have autism and accommodate it. Also, she looks like picrel and her mom is still hot into her late 50's, which means this one isn't a timebomb.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nice, work on it.
        If she’s your priority then make sure you’re hers, only give back what you receive.
        What you did by ignoring her because of her childish answer was mature. I can tell you I wouldn’t have had it in me in my last relationship to do something like this due to fear of abandonment.
        Godspeed and good luck in the future

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What is the best way to do that? I'd say I make myself pretty available for her, except for when she goes out without me. She begs me to text her all the time, but when she goes out it's a paltry 3-word response every hour and a half. I started ignoring her until the day after, and when she confronted me about it I told her "I'm not going to sit by the phone all night waiting for you to ignore me because it's really disrespectful and annoying, so I choose not to talk to you and do something else." Should it be more of that, or do I take a different approach?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What you’re doing is fine. Don’t tolerate being disrespected and don’t bend yourself to give her attention when you can’t.
            I used to have the problem that I’d bend myself to give my girlfriend attention, but when I wanted attention then I had to respect her limits “I’m out with friends”/“Im studying” etc
            I never ended up placing limits on this and the relationship became problematic.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, I had asked her several times in a row to be home by 1 and to at least update me on what she was doing so that I wouldn't get stressed out. Every time (usually because of family members refusing to give her a ride or forcing her to stay with them) she got home after 2 and barely texted me the whole time. So, I just decided I'd do my own thing and ignore her until she came crawling back to me because she was attention-starved.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You need to breakup with her. You are looking over the edge already, and your life will progress smoother if you end things yourself before she does. It is on its way out, be a man and do it yourself.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why do you think so?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Writing is on the wall. It is more intuitive than evidence based. Seriously, you feel this shit in your bones. Believe me or don't, do it yourself or don't.

        this is a reddit tier advice sir

        Then why ask me to elaborate gay

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          First of all, I'm not

          this is a reddit tier advice sir

          homosexual
          Second, what I feel intuitively is that she wants to please everyone and feels that she'll never fully please me. So, I pull away.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah mate that feeds into what I am saying. The reasons are always varied, but this will come to a head and you can either salvage it with a diamond ring and suffer all of the natural consequences that will come from tying yourself to her forever and being her family's nemesis, or you can break it off before she does.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That's not necessarily true. I've told her marriage will only be discussed once she becomes a woman that's worth marrying and has conquered all her problematic behaviors (ex. she's a shopping addict and I told her that I'm not moving in with her until she proves that she is able to save $500/mo.)

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Do it yourself or don't, that's all I will say.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Then why ask me to elaborate gay
          but I didn't. go clean that foul mouth of yours buddy

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this is a reddit tier advice sir

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you have to tell someone you're their #1 priority, then you aren't. You either accept reality or you move on.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is extremely controlling behavior. No way I would put up with that shit if I was her. Why would you expect her to text you constantly every time she goes out? Is she not allowed any time to herself? It really stresses you out not knowing exactly what she's doing every hour of every day?

    Maybe I just don't get it but this thread gives me crazy vibes.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >has controlling, petty, selfish, toxic family
      >gets into a relationship with a controlling, petty, selfish, toxic man
      i feel bad for her

      Did I miss something? OP’s only told his gf to text him when she wants to work out with him and give some indication of what she’s doing until 1 AM.
      I don’t think ignoring her out of retaliation is a good idea, but the dude is an autist and she’s not making things easy for any guy with her behavior, so I’d hardly call him the devil for it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This girl is hanging out with her family and he's getting pissed off that she only texts him every hour and a half. It's like he can't stand knowing that she's not thinking about him all the time. And then he punishes her by insulting her or giving her the silent treatment.

        This is the kind of thing that you handle with an adult conversation, not by pouting and retaliating. I'm guessing that she's tried to have this conversation many times and OP shuts her down with "I need to be your #1 priority". OP treats her like an infant. The whole thing sounds completely dysfunctional.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >has controlling, petty, selfish, toxic family
    >gets into a relationship with a controlling, petty, selfish, toxic man
    i feel bad for her

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can't demand a person to prioritize their partner ahead of blood family, it works only if its their own decision. Even if it looks toxic, they are here for her for life. Not sombeody she can escape but also somebody who she can always fall back to. They are a safety net. You are temprorary and will escape at enough conflicts. You will have to deal with her family shennanigans forever. Accept it or get out. Thats the sad truth here

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lmao unless you put a ring on it most well balanced girls will indeed prioritize family over you. This is actually a good thing so long as they aren’t just using “family” as an excuse to go cheat on you or some shit

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