how to get a boyfriend

girl in college, never had a boyfriend before. not bad looking, guys would approach me but for some reason in the getting to know stage they'd avoid or ghost me. maybe because i get clingy or weird, ive never been the best at talking and im blunt with my thoughts. if i think he looks cute im gonna tell him that even if i say it five times in an hour. gotten told it was annoying so now i withhold affection until im sure they like me. it's a shitty tactic.

not desperate for one but it'd be nice. any advice on actually getting a boyfriend? i don't have a specific type

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Wait until one asks you out, if you try to chase men we generally will think you're not worth keeping around/have no status.

    If you like anime you can just join an anime group, should be piss easy.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >i don't have a specific type
      LONDON
      O
      N
      D
      O
      N

      >we generally will think you're not worth keeping around/have no status
      what? I dont think that and none of my friends think that

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >LONDON

        ?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Im basically saying: OP, I would to meet with you, hopefully we are in the same city
          Although I dont really live in London

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            i don't live in london either

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >if you try to chase men we generally will think you're not worth keeping around/have no status.
      No we won't

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        What the frick are you on about homie, i'd love to be approached by a woman

        >i don't have a specific type
        LONDON
        O
        N
        D
        O
        N

        >we generally will think you're not worth keeping around/have no status
        what? I dont think that and none of my friends think that

        well of course you guys want that, you'd take any woman though.
        I'm giving advice to OP though, about the kind of man she wants to keep. Not attracting NSFFW betas.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Not any of those anons, and while I’d be suspicious of a woman approaching me (especially if it were a cold approach) being promiscuous and/or mentally unstable, it has nothing to do with her “status”.
          The vast majority of men don’t care about a woman’s status as long as she’s not a prostitute or a corporate executive.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      What the frick are you on about homie, i'd love to be approached by a woman

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Wait until one asks you out
      Did you even fricking read the OP?
      >guys would approach me but

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >on actually getting a boyfriend?
    No not really.
    You have had opportunities and blew them all so far so the problem is definitely you. Apparently you're annoying, I can't really help there without experiencing just how annoying you are.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I can't really help there without experiencing just how annoying you are.

      that's fair, i was looking for general advice on how to act since i can't get in the middle of "too affectionate" and "too distant"

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I can't really help there without experiencing just how annoying you are.
      alright, now ask for her number. you got this buddy

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Women just have to literally be bearable to sit besides.
    How tf can you frick that shit up? The bar is so low that you need an archaeologist to see it.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I refuse to believe that a woman can be so annoying in modern times that men are willing to break up with them.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How wrong you are

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm a multimillionaire, how can I afford to buy bread?

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Find a male-dominated hobby.
    Something like a niche video game, dnd or warhammer 40k.
    50% of these guys (who aren't exactly used to female presence) will be all over you.
    Be prepared for some backlash too, 10-20% of the group might become haters who don't like the new girl sucking up all the attention, but who cares about those? Just have a backbone and don't get insulted easily, plus you will have your beta orbiters to defend you.
    Follow this advice and you will find yourself in a privileged social position, and you'll have the ability to pick the best from the lot. You might even ending up liking the hobby that you infiltrated. If you don't find anyone you like just change the hobby.
    I've seen the impact individual girls had on male dominated spaces multiple times, shit is literally like a cheat code for women. If it's something online, you don't even have to look good. You don't even have to show your face.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      hm, noted. thanks.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You kind of make me think of a girl I know with a similar problem. It sounds like you don't know yourself and dealing with people like that just gets tiring. You don't need to be a genius, but there's more you need to offer in relationships than your body. Lovebombing someone to lure them in only to realize they aren't really interesting and ACTUALLY don't have anything else to do but be with you is draining as hell.

    Are you able to control yourself and have actual discussion or are these men you can't keep having to deal with a 5 year-old's level of observation every time, where you just spout out your surface level opinion? We don't want to parent a girl any more than they do us and we sure as hell don't want to waste time talking about pointless shit we aren't interested in. You have to contribute to talks, because most us don't want to monologue about a passion either.

    You have to learn communication skills, and what you actually desire. "Not having a type" just means you don't actually want anyone, you probably just don't NOT want someone for some other reason. Everyone has preferences. Surely you would discover this by now if you paid attention to any of the guys you didn't stick with. How could you not identify desirable and undesirable traits if you had experience? Really sounds like you need to become more concious

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      i get what you're saying but i can hold a conversation with people, i like learning about other's interests, it's just i generally am more affectionate and vocal with it that some men might find too much. i can back off when told so, but i can't really control how affectionate i get.

      as for not having a type, i meant it more like i can like energetic guys and i can like quiet guys, it just depends if i like their company in general. im not looking for anyone in specific, i can love someone regardless of how they are. unless they're murderers or some shit.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    the one bit of advice i think i can give you is that you need to get advice from another girl. most of the men on this board are not going to be helpful and dont even know what they want in a partner

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      noted. i wanted to gauge if men disliked clingy girls in general and to what degree

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Investment into a relationship is like putting weight on one side of the scales. "Clingy" is really relative, it's when there's not balanced reciprocation. Guys are supposed to be first movers so the expectation is in-grained.
        Give too much attention to a guy without him trying to "chase" and even if he liked you, he now has some leverage.
        You need to perform inception, he needs to want to take every escalating action into a relationship "of his own idea".
        Men do like the ego boost of a clingy girl, but it weakens your position too much. It'll only keep a hold on guys you don't want to attract.

        The strategy. Find guys likely to become HV in 5-10 years (high income potential, not lazy, not super ugly, malleable but not like a pushover) but who aren't yet chad/rich. Get their attention by being in common group social events a bunch, clubs and class groups are the best since you have a consistent excuse to see people. Appear approachable - if a target wants to do stuff in groups do it but don't be "eager" to do it, work in groups and use that excuse to exchange socials with everyone, etc.
        Have excuses to DM them for help, but never social/emotional reasons.
        After enough time drop hints you're single. If they're still a pussy, then move on. It's like fishing, they won't always bite.

        Once dating, do lots of common activities. The more time spent doing interesting stuff together the more attachment a guy will have. Bare your soul for help (problems, emotional support), compliment his masculity after he helps. And actually fricking listen to his help lol. You should always be his motivation to become a better person.

        Don’t throw yourself at men. Hold off on sex and don’t give in to any sort of pressure to do “only” oral or something.
        Otherwise you pigeonhole yourself into dating low-commmitment horndogs. Worse, once you’ve done that, it gets harder to do anything else, because lots of guys either have a moral problem with promiscuity, or they feel insulted that they’re asked to wait for what other guys got immediately.

        Basically, don’t sell yourself short out of desperation. All that does is make it easier for others to take advantage to you.

        , it's true. No amount of sex or "exploring" or career/glass ceiling will truly make you happy, long term emotional needs and provision are.
        College is the best time when guys are often undervalued but developed enough to test and girls are overvalued. It gets harder with age (not sex, but a long term HV relationship).

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        hey, I was kinda like you too so here's what I learned. Paradoxically most guys were afraid of rejection and won't make a move so I, out of frustration would, and that would please them at first. Then insecurity, baked into all males, tells them I am probably like this with every guy so they are not special. Then they withdraw and I would cling despite my best effort not to. Anyway, you can get things moving if they won't move but then you stop and they must pursue. When they do give praise while backing away even if you don't want to. Oh and never give sex early EVER. I'm good at it now, hehe

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What do you mean by blunt? As in just in affection or are you blunt all the time? If the former its probably because it can come off as artificial, but if the latter then I think you just haven't met the right guy. Personally I've always wanted a woman I could be blunt with/was blunt with me.

    I never had anyone in my life I could tell anything to since I was a kid and had a best friend (who happened to be a girl, but since we were both young she was more of just a best friend). So I'd kill to meet someone I could connect with in that way.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Don’t throw yourself at men. Hold off on sex and don’t give in to any sort of pressure to do “only” oral or something.
    Otherwise you pigeonhole yourself into dating low-commmitment horndogs. Worse, once you’ve done that, it gets harder to do anything else, because lots of guys either have a moral problem with promiscuity, or they feel insulted that they’re asked to wait for what other guys got immediately.

    Basically, don’t sell yourself short out of desperation. All that does is make it easier for others to take advantage to you.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Legitimately good advice.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I know an easy solution, add me on discord 🙂

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      fine, what's your discord

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        luciolencer

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          if it doesnt work, try luciolencerr

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I’m a femanon and I go college but I don’t interact with anyone there. I don’t have terrible anxiety. But I just really want a friend I could have a conversation with or laugh with. I do care about my work but it’s most likely gone to shit now. There’s people in my class but they know I’m behind so they just avoid me and I know I won’t fit in with none of them. It feels like I’m doomed to be stuck alone forever. I haven’t had an actual friend to hang out with for 3 years. I have one friend but she has a boyfriend and just always yaps about him and her only. So it gets boring talking to her. I use social apps but it’s hard to find female friends since they always leave me opened. I’m not sure what else I can do either just focus on my shitty college work that will go into nothing or idk. These were “supposed to be the prime of my years” but I rotted every single summer in bed scrolling on NSFFW, tik tok, etc watching or stalking other people from my old school have fun. While I just resent myself for not being able to fit in.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >“supposed to be the prime of my years”
      They literally are.
      Use it or lose it.

  13. 1 month ago
    Seanonymous

    i already like you if you want to date, but otherwise just try to socialize and make yourself seen and push past the fear

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Shouldn't be asking these questions here, let alone posting on NSFFW as a woman - all you're going to get is hate comments.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      right, still some variety of insight couldn't hurt. that and ive gotten barely any hate comments.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        i'd still recommend getting advice from people not on this website or in spheres tied to this website

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Don't say it, show it.
    >Be subtle.
    My friend knew a girl from a different school and she just followed me on instagram randomly.
    She was a stranger to me and I was being wishy-washy so blocked her on everything one day.
    Got my wisdom teeth pulled near the beginning of college and had the desire to apologize to her in person.
    Meet at cafe in strip mall.
    Pay for her order.
    Go to bookstore after and sit next to each other watching clips of the office, I think.
    Leave together and go to a furniture store.
    Sit under the stairs and ask if she wants to make out.
    Make out.
    Go to sporting goods store.
    Leave mall.
    Make out in car.
    Was bretty gud.
    She gave me a ride home.
    Make out even more.
    She just went with the flow.
    She ended up in another state though and I broke it off. So stay away from long distance stuff if you want to keep your man. Good luck.

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