I dont know if I love my girlfriend, shes a plain jain who loves me and is willing to do anything for me but I dont feel that spark.

I don’t know if I love my girlfriend, she’s a plain jain who loves me and is willing to do anything for me but I don’t feel that spark.

She’s a great person but she’s incredibly boring, bland, and passive. I have to plan everything, she never gives me her input whatever so ever unless I pull it out of her. She basically follows me around and is almost terminally afraid to share her thoughts her hobbies. She has no other hobbies or interests besides dogs, she’s literally the perfect ‘Trad-wife’ in this regard I suppose.

It’s also my first serious relationship, am I over reacting?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Leave her now

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You could try having a conversation about it without insulting her, but you don't sound like you like her very much if that hasn't occurred. Break up for both of your sakes.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It’s because I feel dissatisfied.

      I have spoken to her about being more outspoken to be, with mix results. It’s been a year, i’m starting to think this is who she is unfortunately, a very boring person.

      It’s unfortunate because she DOES have very good qualities. Maybe I should talk to her about how I feel…

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I mean, boring to you. See what I mean? There's a difference between talking about how she feels to you and speaking as though it is objective fact. Makes you look bad my dude. Regardless of what you do, be mindful about the way you speak.
        Focus more on the compatibility rather than picking at individual qualities.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I get that, in terms of compatibility we fit seemingly fine. I do enjoy my time together with her because she’s a good listener, not much to talker I suppose. But she absolutely is ‘boring’ in the sense she has nothing going on, no strong opinions that could showcase her character, and prefers to let other people to entertain her. She likes to in the crowd, making the relationship feel unequal. Again, prefect trad wife material but I want a human with all the hopes and dreams that accompany them, not a trophy wife.

          There are times where I desperately want to know more about her besides the superficial things I already know, I want to know how her day was, any funny stories or things she might have picked up during the day or week. It’s very few, and she uses the same phrases over and over again - “yeah,” “yesss,” “i’m good, what’s up with you,” “Hi what’s up with you.” it’s like fricking script, I don’t get it.

          And again, she doesn’t elaborate unless I push her too, meaning I have to do heavy lifting on the conversation, and I just can’t stand that. it’s not a dynamic, and it actually pisses me off at times, I kinda want her to just disagree with on something so I can see some perspective and personality, you know?

          I think my gripe is how AM I suppose to feel towards her that’s healthy and trusting? do I love her enough despite these quirks? I might have to talk to her about this stuff, and if we can’t figure something out i’m going to have to break up with her.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Look. If you're just b***hing and don't REALLY feel like she's a wet towel in human form, my suggestion is to tell her what you've noticed, reassure her and let her open up. Currently you've demanded she open up.

            If she's prone to being shy or has had shit happen in the past, your method, even if well meaning, is only going to make her withdraw more. Talk to her, but really think about how you can do it without resorting to judgements

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I hope not, I really do. I really hope the ‘wet towel’ is a facade for some trauma we can work out, because I rescues to believe people can be wet towels in human form. I’ll talk to her, and i’ll BE SURE to be mindful of her feelings, because I think she has wonderful qualities that I wouldn’t find anywhere else. I’m not being judgmental at all, I only explain how I see these dynamics play out between us after being together for a year.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Sounds good anon. good luck with it.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, she is just a pet, bro.
            Keep her well fed and warm, happy kitty.
            Make your hobbies and interests her hobbies and interests since she's got nothing going on.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My practice GF was like this, it doesn't get any better.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Any experiences you want to share?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what was it like? i think im going through this rn and im not sure what to do

        >is almost terminally afraid to share her thoughts her hobbies
        This is the thing that really stuck out to me. When I tried to ask her about her thoughts in any way she'd literally autistically sit in silence and refuse to answer or even make eye contact until I'd given up.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          For whatever reason she isn't comfortable and doesn't feel like she can open up to you. Given the loving way you talk about her, one can only be befuddled as to why.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Mhm and I'm sure if a woman said that about her boyfriend you'd say the same thing to her instead of just agreeing he's autistic?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yep, it can be both. Those who haven't had pasts that allow them to open up may literally need to be given permission to do so.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe there is nothing to reveal.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That’s worse than my case, it’s just that my current gf is just… not interesting.

          I don’t mean this in a negative way, she just is. She’s like her routine, her dogs, and reality T.V shows. That’s it, and she has no problem telling me this, I just wish there was more activity going on behind the scenes. But man, does it drive me nuts when I want to know who it her day and it’s just “i’m good.”

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That sounds like compatibility. You sound like you want someone whose more outgoing.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I definitely do need a more outgoing personality. However, all because you don’t agree or throw shit at each like in a bad relationship doesn’t mean it’s ‘compatible.’ People get bored, something can change in their life, or maybe they aren’t what they wanted. If that person isn’t building them up in any way or adding value in their life and is just… is - then I can understand why people leave and cheat behind their backs, even if it’s a terrible way to break that relationship. ‘Boredom’ na slack of variety is a big reason why people break it off, or god forbid cheat.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Literally me fr fr

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      what was it like? i think im going through this rn and im not sure what to do

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Break up. You clearly don't respect her. The only reasons you seem to be clinging are selfish.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone who uses anime pictures like this is a larping incel btw.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Agreed. OP is a lying homosexual.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    youre the male equivalent of women who cheat in a good relationship because she got bored
    let her go have a stable relationship while you figure out what mental deficiency causes you to be this moronic

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My girlfriend is more the opposite. She is more aggressive and also self-centered, only talks about the things that interest her and is hard-pressed to care about what I have to say. Sometimes she just talks about random-bullshit and whenever I say something to add to her topic she says nothing or just "yes" and keeps yapping with no regard for my time, if it adds anything for us or if I even like to listen/talk about that.

    At this point I wish I'd be in your position. And in her case, she is obsessed with cats, even calling me her cat.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dump her, she has another man in her life. You have been warned.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What makes you think that?

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Treat her as you would a pet.
    Do you really want to get rid of a faithful pussy cat?
    Maybe you should get a dog.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guy has the perfect girl and is complaining. Idiot.
    Give her tasks to do. Start with food. Tell her you would like her to make XYZ dish from scratch.
    She'll research online, find a good recipe, go to the grocery store to get the supplies and make it. She will do anything to please you. Dumb twit.

    She can also be your perfect sex slave if you play your cards right.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      My thoughts too.

      For intellectual stimulation, I dunno, use guy friends. Rare to find a woman who is interesting to speak with.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    She needs a leader, someone to show her the way. You have a rare and fantastic opportunity to mold her exactly the way you want. You can craft your very own perfect GF. Choose a hobby for her, give her tasks to do (cooking, new haircut, etc), you can even completely redefine what she likes in sex. She is a blank canvas that you can paint in whatever colors you want. Don't waste this opportunity for a prostitute that rode the wiener carousel with a giant ego.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I don’t know if I love my girlfriend
    Then decide one way or another. Indecision only exists because you permit it.
    >She’s a great person but she’s incredibly boring, bland, and passive.
    Why don't you simply show her some things you love with her and have her do them?

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The point of dating is to find a compatible spouse. You aren't obligated to love her from the beginning or stay in a relationship you don't want to. You're just obligated to be honest; staying in a relationship that you don't see a future in is unfair to both of you, because neither of you can look someone you actually want to be with.

    >, she’s literally the perfect ‘Trad-wife’ in this regard
    You haven't said anything about her values and conduct besides her being extremely passive. A woman with no spine is a woman without any moral fiber, so not a 'tradwife'.

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