I got raped by my boyfriend a few weeks ago and haven't been the same since.

I got raped by my boyfriend a few weeks ago and haven't been the same since. My mind keeps festering and causing me to do self destructive things. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared of therapy, but I have nobody to talk to about it. I got in contact with one anon which helped but I felt like I became a burden almost immediately and started to avoid talking about my issues so I wasn't stressing them out with my issues. My only outlet is shitty rough sketch art I make on my computer. What do I even do anymore anons?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >What do I even do anymore anons?
    Stop being a b***h.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Forget about it and leave them. Think about what would make you happy, and do it.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      We've been together for 4 years though...
      I'm scared of being alone. I feel like he is my one shot at not dying alone. I can't imagine losing someone after that long. He is the closest person to me, and I will really have nothing if I lose him, but he hurt me bad. I don't know..

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The kind of guy to rape you is also much more likely to cheat and/or leave you. Grow a spine and leave.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        If you don’t want to leave him (yet), then do therapy to see how to move past either the rape or him.
        Why are you scared of therapy?
        Also post more Sketch Art

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          also bump for moar Sketch Art

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          also bump for moar Sketch Art

          I drew this last night

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Okkkayyy i didn’t expected to be traumatized just yet. I have enough of my own, but thx I guess, I asked for your sketches. And I can see why it is your outlet. However you need proper care. You need a professional to go with you through it all. Why are you afraid of therapy?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I can't talk about this stuff face to face with another person. I tried to talk about it to a friend but I broke down almost immediately and got nowhere. A therapist on my head is just someone you pay to have listen to you and give you advice, and I don't feel comfortable doing that with a stranger face to face. I hate burdening others with my issues, and no matter what I feel like I am. I close myself off and bottle up my emotions only to explode and do shit like drive my car off the road last night and wreck it. I don't trust anyone enough to be my confidant, nor trust myself to not be a burden to those around me.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            This is very honest, and that takes bravery. It also takes bravery to break away from a toxic relationship. Sometimes when people say they're "making love" they're really just working out their frustrations with issues that they aren't confronting. And that isn't really love at all imo. But you found someone already so you can find someone again; I'm sure of it! Btw keep up your nice sketches! Art is a great way to work out emotions, and you may want to starting a diary if you haven't already. You may find the two go well together! 🙂

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            That's really good advice. Perhaps a diary wouldn't be terrible either. It would help me gather my thoughts in one place without exploding.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Thank you. I encourage you to! I find it quite helpful myself. I find honesty to be the best policy. Remember you decide how you feel. always.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            so you're not only a homosexual troony, but you're also a little butt boy b***h? wOw

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks for the fap material.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I'm sure if you were to leave him you could take the time to reexamine your life and make a new path for yourself. And find new people and places. You have to want it though, and not be afraid to try.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          How to I work up the courage to?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Excellent question. Take in consideration how you feel, and know that your emotions are as valid as any. Know that there's a better life for you out there, and that you will make it happen. Also you don't want to enable him from addressing his obvious issues. So know that it's the best decision for the both of you, and be confident in yourself because you are a good person who deserves to be happy.

            P.S. Thanks for talking to me today, I was feeling kind of lonesome. But now I feel better. It's worth it to reach out.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Men are embarrassingly replaceable, and I say that as a man.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I entirely disagree anon. Finding someone who actually wants to be with you and loves you for who you are is the hardest damn thing out there. It's hell.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >we’ve been together for 4 years though
        Google “sunk cost fallacy”. All you’re doing is prolonging the inevitable. Could you really see yourself happily spending the rest of your life with the man who raped you? Somehow I doubt that you could.

        The kind of guy to rape you is also much more likely to cheat and/or leave you. Grow a spine and leave.

        I have to agree with this anon. By not leaving, you’re showing him that he can do whatever he wants to you and you’ll just accept it because you’re terrified of being alone. Things could definitely end with him just dumping you when he’s tired of you anyway. Don’t give him that, take back control and break things off. You’re stronger than you think and you deserve better.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Don't use time as an excuse to continue to waste more time.
    You can either confront him about it, ignore it, or leave him. The choice is yours. It's all about how you want to see yourself in the future.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Short answer: I am in the same position as your boyfriend and I can confidently say you should break up with him. Also read "Sexuality: A Graphic Guide" by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele.

    Long answer: Maybe my story will resonate with you.

    We were together for almost 2 years. And very good friends for about 6 months before we started dating.

    I never raped my gf, but I definitely pushed her in situations where she was not comfortable having sex. I always got verbal consent, but I know she had a hard time saying no. She struggled with it for a long time. We both have problems surrounding sex that has predated our relationship and those problems leaked into ours.

    We tried therapy, both individually and together. She broke up with me 2 months ago only to then say she eventually wanted to get back together once she felt okay again. She was angry for a long time, she still is. I recently read "Sexuality: A Graphic Guide" by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele and it opened my eyes. As a heterosexual white male a lot of the concepts in book I learned about for the first time, like how the heterosexual sex script represses women's agency and how verbal consent alone does not mean true consent. I told her about this, about the epiphany I had. She told me she felt validated, like she had been wanting me to say that for a long time.

    Last week I moved to the town she lives in now as we've been apart for this last year post grad. It kind of just happened that way, I wasn't trying to move here after the breakup but with her saying she thought she possibly wanted to get back together I had hope.

    I'll continue in a second post...

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >"I got in contact with one anon which helped but I felt like I became a burden almost immediately and started to avoid talking about my issues so I wasn't stressing them out with my issues."
      Then you're in the right place. Any homosexuals who get stressed can leave. I for one will never care cause I don't give a shit about anything I read online.
      >"What do I even do anymore anons?"
      If he actually raped you and you don't mean he pushed things further than you wanted yet you didn't actually tell him to stop: then leave him and press charges. If he did just press things further then idk just leave him if it really pissed you off so much.

      >homosexual
      Why is it literally every time a male femenist turns out to be a self-ascribed rapist? Only male femenist I ever met raped my cousin, and I mean violent rape. My uncle wanted to kill him and I would have helped, but my cousin talked him out of it.

      Either way I mean it when I say I'm not laughing at your problem; I'm just saying it doesn't bother me when I read about nameless faceless people's issues.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Long answer continued:

    To be clear I was trying to get a job in another city. They told me they hired someone else but would transfer my application to another office, the same city my ex gf lives in.

    While I was moving into my new studio this last week, she was visiting her best friend (who lives a few hours away) for the week. She slept in the same bed as him. She says they didn't have sex or kiss or anything. We've never lied to each other (as far as I know) so while I believe her, it doesn't matter what she did or didn't do with him anyways, he's a great guy.

    That's when she knew.

    Two days ago we met up. I told her I was going to give her the rest of the stuff I had of her's back. It was too hard to hold onto considering she still hasn't made up her mind and by the way she was messaging me I felt like it wasn't going to work out.

    Then she told me. She said she felt safe sleeping with him in a way she hasn't with me for a long time. She knew then she couldn't get over it if we were together. She knew then she didn't love me anymore.

    Everything now seems grey. Nothing makes sense. Every new step I take now is a step we had once been excited to take together and now I feel so broken and hopeless. I wish she had done it sooner. I wish she had been able to realize sooner.

    I'm not saying break up with him for him, but do it for you. How I feel now is how she had been feeling for a long time before we broke up.

    I hope I gave you some insight. If I had to give advice I'd say get a therapist (I'm really glad I have one), really think about how your feeling of safety impacts your feelings, read the book and get him to read that book, and truly feel the love of a close friend.

    If you can work it out I would be happy for you, but if you can't get past it then you should break up with them and I would also be happy for you. The limbo is the hard part, you just got to bite the bullet.

    Feel free to ask questions or respond, I'd be happy to chat.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Join TWL little homie, we can help u out : D discord gg UD9sWRY5

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Leave him? Idk its pretty simple. Either get therapy and recognize the trauma or just mop around.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >raped by my boyfriend
    Literally impossible. Your boyfriend having sex with you is not rape in any circumstance. What do you think a relationship is? I hate femoids so much.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >raped
    >my boyfriend
    Choose one, moron.

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