I just don't get it anons it's like everyone else took a course on how to form relationships with each other, and I just wasn't invited...

I just don't get it anons it's like everyone else took a course on how to form relationships with each other, and I just wasn't invited. Statistics say that 90% of 23-year-olds have had sex or some type of sexual relationship, so why....why is it so hard for me? What makes me such an outlier that I can't achieve a basic thing that most people achieve when they're teenagers?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe you have "the curse", like I do.

    It's not to do with looks, or height, or money, or any of the usual bullshit this board comes out with.

    I'm a pretty good looking guy. I'm also 5'11 tall. I dress excellently, groom myself well, am in good shape, and wear nice colognes. There is no reason whatsoever that I shouldn't be able to at least get some dates and a girlfriend every once in a while. Yet, I am a kissless dateless virgin in my late 20s, while literally every male friend I've had over the years - even the ugliest, shortest, and smelliest of them all - has had dates/GFs.

    Something is spiritually wrong with people like me. I just don't have the "it factor", the magical inner ability that gives a man the ability to attract girls. 99.9% of men have it, but I don't. I've regularly seen guys shorter, uglier, and/or fatter than me walk up to girls and win them over in a couple minutes of conversation, meanwhile these exact same girls looked straight through me like I was invisible, despite me being objectively more attractive.

    So it must be something on the inside. Something magical and unknowable. I was born without the "attraction gene", perhaps. So I can't get girls. That's just how it is. If you're like me, then I feel sorry for you, because it's a terrible curse to bear.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You're right, it is internal. But luckily for you, these things can be learned! You just never learned them when you were younger is all.

      https://i.imgur.com/oxHHejv.jpg

      I just don't get it anons it's like everyone else took a course on how to form relationships with each other, and I just wasn't invited. Statistics say that 90% of 23-year-olds have had sex or some type of sexual relationship, so why....why is it so hard for me? What makes me such an outlier that I can't achieve a basic thing that most people achieve when they're teenagers?

      You provided absolutely no details about what you've been trying or why you might not have the abilities. Can't help you.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >But luckily for you, these things can be learned! You just never learned them when you were younger is all.
        I have diagnosed aspergers syndrome, which is literally a mental disease which prevents me from learning social skills in the same way that normal people do.

        But even if I didn't have aspergers, changing your personality once you have reached adulthood is near impossible. If women don't like your personality, you can't just reinvent yourself to make them like you, all you can do is try to get good at acting like somebody else, but that won't work in the long-term.

        I can't help it that when women talk to me face-to-face, they must feel some kind of sexual repulsion that prevents them from seeing me as a romantic option. It's blatantly not to do with my looks, because when I tried using Tinder (where women can only see pictures of me), I was relatively successful and had a few opportunities for dates. But I knew that if I met up with these women, they would be repulsed by me upon seeing what I was like IRL, so I couldn't go through with it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >But I knew that if I met up with these women, they would be repulsed by me upon seeing what I was like IRL, so I couldn't go through with it.
          Classic self-sabotage.
          At the very least you could have learned from these failures.
          Yet you chose not to try.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It's very hard to agree to meet up with a woman when you know that it probably has a 99% chance of ending in extreme embarrassment and humiliation.

            Even if I COULD get a woman to fall for me, I wouldn't know what to do with her. I don't know how to behave on a date. I don't even know how to kiss, let alone do anything sexual.

            No it’s personality or autism. People not just women can smell it miles away. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, try changing your personality and traits. If you’re shy and introverted and hardly speak unless spoken too, fake being extroverted and initiate 5 conversations a day with random people at work or anything and do that for 3 months and notice if your results change. If you don’t want to do that, then die alone. Simple as.

            >If what you’re doing doesn’t work, try changing your personality and traits.
            You cannot change your personality.

            If there was a magic cure for aspergers, I would take it. I call it a "disease" because I hate it and I really am angry about how much it has fricked up my life.

            >If you’re shy and introverted and hardly speak unless spoken too, fake being extroverted and initiate 5 conversations a day with random people at work or anything and do that for 3 months and notice if your results change.
            I can talk to people just fine. In the right circumstances, I can even have a full conversation with a woman no problem. I had several female friends when I was at school/college. I just can't make any girls become attracted to me. They never view me as a romantic option.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          homie just lie or fake till you make it, dozens of people do it everyday, you will be seen as cringe or weird but you're already there aren't you?

          I have no diagnose, I'm tall, NSFFW, with hobbies and interests, I can attract girls but I'm socially inept and quite asocial so I have no excuse but my own lazyness and negligency towards myself

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >homie just lie or fake till you make it
            Lie about what?
            "Fake it til you make it" doesn't even work, you can't keep up a false persona for that long without going insane.

            >I can attract girls but I'm socially inept and quite asocial
            That's more than I can say. The idea of any woman being attracted to me is impossible for me to imagine.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      As someone who used to fall into the same category, the answer really is as simple as this:
      people, including girls, are attracted to people who are fun to be around.
      If you want to attract people, go do something with your life that eventually makes you fun to be around.
      If you like to think of yourself as serious, "mysterious", "deep", or whatever, you have to realize asap that nobody is actually attracted to that.
      Be inspiring. Be genuine. Be kind. Be fun. Be attractive as a soul.
      This is what makes short, ugly, stupid guys more successful than you. They know how to have fun so people are attracted to them to have fun fun together.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        But what does it mean to be “fun” most people at work don’t really seem to have hobbies or adventures lives but they’re still in some type of relationship

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        But what does it mean to be “fun” most people at work don’t really seem to have hobbies or adventures lives but they’re still in some type of relationship

        It means jestermaxx and debase yourself just to make women chuckle. That's how I feel about it cynically anyway. The charitable read would be, you just need to make people feel comfortable and happy around you. Reality is somewhere between

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >jestermaxx
          Another stupid internet buzzword. You know using slang like this really makes you sound mentally deficient, right?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Anon you are on NSFFW seething about internet slang, fricking moron, kys now

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I've been here a lot longer than you have. The slang you're using isn't even specifically NSFFW slang, it's incel "lookism" lingo that is just as commonly found being spouted by 15 year olds on Tiktok as it is here.

            I'm trying to help you, by teaching you that you should talk like a normal human being, rather than someone who has had his brain thoroughly rotted by the cesspit that is 2020s online culture.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No it’s personality or autism. People not just women can smell it miles away. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, try changing your personality and traits. If you’re shy and introverted and hardly speak unless spoken too, fake being extroverted and initiate 5 conversations a day with random people at work or anything and do that for 3 months and notice if your results change. If you don’t want to do that, then die alone. Simple as.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Pretty basic idea which lead me to the realization that I like being alone; I don't have to hold my tongue or watch my words if I have no one I am speaking to and at the end of the day the only person that matters is myself. I don't see how you can be a virgin in your mid-20s and also not come to that realization unless you are constantly bombarding yourself with medias that make relationships look good. I will admit that back maybe a few years ago from the age of 18-22 I actually did give a slight frick but that's all gone now.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I tried emulating personalities that I thought could work but it didn't really progress to anything beyond absolutely draining my social energy because I had a facade on at all times. I don't know how improovers do it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >improovers
          Stop using these stupid internet buzzwords. Be sincere and speak actual English instead.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        seconding this, normal people are SO clued into the autism stink aura. They don't consciously know that this is what they're reacting to, but they know they're weirded the frick out. I don't think masking more will help though, this can only exacerbate the uncanny valley you inevitably end up evoking when you are a blithering autie with no social skills and you start working off of a script of "human" sayings and behaviors you think will make you seem normal.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >seconding this, normal people are SO clued into the autism stink aura. They don't consciously know that this is what they're reacting to, but they know they're weirded the frick out.
          Plenty of people with aspergers/autism get into relationships just fine though.

          I've known guys who had more severe autism than me and yet still got GFs. When I was about 18/19, I was friends with a guy with pretty bad autism, who was also kinda ugly and dressed like shit and had a notorious reputation for having breath so bad it stunk up the room every time he talked. Somehow he had 3 different GFs within one year. I mean how the frick does that happen?

          I think the "repulsion" that women feel towards men like me (and possibly OP as well) isn't even really to do solely with aspergers/autism, but something deeper. There's no other way to explain the fact that I've known several men with worse autism than me, who also looked worse than me, and yet they got GFs and I didn't.

          >so why....why is it so hard for me?
          you're not actively meeting and dating new women, duh

          >you're not actively meeting and dating new women, duh
          That won't necessarily help him either. It didn't for me. At college, I threw myself into every social activity I could and developed a large social circle, including many girls. Not one of them was ever interested in dating me. It's like they look at me as a puppy, a completely non-sexual being, rather than a man.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Not one of them was ever interested in dating me. It's like they look at me as a puppy, a completely non-sexual being, rather than a m
            you asked them out?

            my friend is a balding long haired quet guy who works on vans and he managed to get a qt black gf. his says its just a numbers game. go on lots of dates and eventually youll find someone.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >you asked them out?
            No. I only ever asked out girls twice in my life. One girl when I was 16, one girl when I was 17. Both rejected me. After that, I didn't really want to go through with that experience again and decided it's better to wait for girls to show signs of interest in me before I make a move on them, rather than just asking out girls I think are cute without being prompted to do so.

            During my whole 4 years of college I didn't get even one sign of romantic interest from a girl, so I just never asked anyone out.

            >my friend is a balding long haired quet guy who works on vans and he managed to get a qt black gf.
            Yeah, I don't understand that. Like, what does he have that I don't?

            >go on lots of dates and eventually youll find someone.
            Dude, I can't even get to the stage of having a date with a girl. I've never been on even one date. I can't even imagine what a date would be like.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Black person, ASK GIRLS OUT. thats how. thats how youre different. youre not asking girls out and every other guy is. do it in person, in apps (like my friend) do it enough times and itll happen. dont wait for a sign because youll wait forever and end up exactly where you are feeling sorry for yourself. its like standing at the lip of a slide waiting for someone to push you down while everyone else flings themself down because they have the courage to do so. youll never go down that slide.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It is very difficult to ask girls out when it seems like they all just send signals that they view you platonically. Even girls who were nice to me, it's like they just see me as a "little brother" type figure.

            Other men don't have this problem, because girls look at them differently. They view them as romantic options. So when they ask a girl out, it seems natural and the girl responds normally to it.

            If I ever asked a girl out, they'd probably think I was insane or something. That was my experience with the first two girls I asked out when I was 16/17. The first girl didn't even reject me herself, she got her friend to send me some really long message about how I had made her really "uncomfortable" and that I should be ashamed of myself. The second girl let me down more gently, but said some weird shit about how she "thought I was attractive but wasn't interested in being with me", which just made me feel awful.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            ahhhhh frick off. stop getting in your head and just do something. you doing what you're doing is getting you nowhere. so do something different or you'll never get any better.
            get on a dating app. take six or whatever shity pictures of yourself and ask out literally any girl that likes you. second or third message. doesnt even matter if you like them. just do it as practice.
            YOU WONT GET ANY BETTER BU NOT CHANGING SOMETHING
            so do the most obvious thing and ask out girls.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >get on a dating app
            I don't like dating apps and refuse to use them.

            But a few years ago (around 2019ish) I tried out Tinder, and I got a good amount of matches, and spoke to a few girls, a couple of which wanted to meet up with me. But I pussied out and stopped talking to them. I knew that I would frick it up and they would be repulsed by me if they met me IRL.

            The fact that I could get female interest on Tinder (where girls can only see pictures of me), but can never get any female interest IRL, proves that my appearance is fine but there's something about the way I convey myself face-to-face that repulses women.

            I just think women don't really like me much. They treat me like there's something wrong with me, or like I'm dangerous in some way.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I don't like dating apps and refuse to use them.
            >a couple of which wanted to meet up with me. But I pussied out and stopped talking to them. I knew that I would frick it up and they would be repulsed by me if they met me IRL

            jesus fricking christ. it really seems like youd rather wallow in self pity than try an improve yourself, or try at all. i dont know what you want people to tell if youre unwilling to listen to actual practical advice you can try.

            maybe you just want people to agree with you and say its all hopeless and to go to a group suicide so you can feel some comfort in knowing theres nothing you could have done, so you can feel a little less bad knowing that your lack of effort was justified.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Why should I have to use dating apps to meet girls? I'd prefer to meet girls in the real world, in a natural environment. All the apps are full of bots, OnlyFans advertisers and scammers these days anyway.

            You haven't given me any actual advice for how to improve myself. All you said is I should "ask out girls". But that advice isn't useful if you aren't telling me how to attract girls in the first place.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You can start by going outside and acquiring your own opinions instead of going on reddit then repeating all these moronic justifications for doing nothing

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Reddit is a moronic website full of incels (much like this one). I have nothing to learn from them. All my thoughts are my own, independently created ones.

            >Why should I have to use dating apps to meet girls?
            things are just going that way man. get with the times or get left behind.

            how about ask out girls first and then after you ask out ten make a new thread.

            >things are just going that way man. get with the times or get left behind.
            What a pathetic thing to say. You don't have to accept terrible things just because they're considered as "the norm" or "the modern thing to do". You sound like you cannot think for yourself. You're cattle.

            I don't agree with the concept of dating apps to begin with, but they're particularly terrible in their current forms in 2024. They're all peddling subscription services designed to milk men of their cash in exchange for a slightly better chance at MAYBE getting some casual sex out of it. But when do you ever hear of people forming serious relationships off of Tinder or Bumble anymore? Pretty much never. Plus, like I mentioned, there's the bot problem. I don't want to sit there swiping through pictures of women who aren't even real.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You're a self admitted virgin and have met up with a woman off tinder 0 times, your opinion is completely worthless

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Don't care. I know that dating apps would be useless for me. I'm never going to be able to go on there and "play the game" and seduce girls with short, witty lines, as is the norm on there. These apps are designed for men with a personality that is completely contrary to mine. And also, I am completely uninterested in casual hookups, and that's 99% of what happens through Tinder.

            >But when do you ever hear of people forming serious relationships off of Tinder or Bumble anymore?
            my cousin got married off of a dating site
            my brother moved in with a girl he met off Facebook dating
            my friends last 2 gfs have been off dating sites and they've both been long term

            i know the platform is gay and lame and in person is better and more natural, but it does work.

            >my cousin got married off of a dating site
            >my brother moved in with a girl he met off Facebook dating
            >my friends last 2 gfs have been off dating sites and they've both been long term
            What years?
            As I understand it, all the dating apps have become dramatically worse post-2020. Even people who use them regularly say that they are useless now.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            my brother moved in with that chick within the last year
            my cousin within the last 3
            and my other friend probably 4

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ok, but when did they actually meet these girls? Because while I think pre-covid you could have still used Tinder for serious dating, I don't hear of it much in the past couple years.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            thats what i meant. my cousin got married in November to a girl he met online probably 3 years ago.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you don't even try and you dismiss it. its not like you've tried, seen that they don't do what you want and stop. you just dont try based on an uneducated opinion probably formed by NSFFW shit posters. make your own opinions by experiencing life.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >you don't even try and you dismiss it. its not like you've tried
            But I did try Tinder. I just told you I did. Back in 2019.

            >you just dont try based on an uneducated opinion probably formed by NSFFW shit posters.
            No. I don't get any opinions from NSFFW. In any case, I'd disagree with most people on this website about the dating apps. Because I think even women get a raw deal from them too. They get more matches and messages, but imagine the sheer number they get from disgusting and ill-mannered men. Imagine having to sift through that to find someone worthwhile. It just doesn't work. We'd all be better off meeting normal people in IRL settings as it was done for centuries until morally-defunct Silicon Valley fricktards decided that should have to change.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >But when do you ever hear of people forming serious relationships off of Tinder or Bumble anymore?
            my cousin got married off of a dating site
            my brother moved in with a girl he met off Facebook dating
            my friends last 2 gfs have been off dating sites and they've both been long term

            i know the platform is gay and lame and in person is better and more natural, but it does work.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Why should I have to use dating apps to meet girls?
            things are just going that way man. get with the times or get left behind.

            how about ask out girls first and then after you ask out ten make a new thread.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        > pretend to be something you’re not while everyone around you actively doesn’t try at all so that you can appease people who openly despise you and if you don’t want to do this every single day you’re alive then you DESERVE to die alone simple as.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's the 'tism

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It isn't specifically to do with autism, as I stated here:

        >seconding this, normal people are SO clued into the autism stink aura. They don't consciously know that this is what they're reacting to, but they know they're weirded the frick out.
        Plenty of people with aspergers/autism get into relationships just fine though.

        I've known guys who had more severe autism than me and yet still got GFs. When I was about 18/19, I was friends with a guy with pretty bad autism, who was also kinda ugly and dressed like shit and had a notorious reputation for having breath so bad it stunk up the room every time he talked. Somehow he had 3 different GFs within one year. I mean how the frick does that happen?

        I think the "repulsion" that women feel towards men like me (and possibly OP as well) isn't even really to do solely with aspergers/autism, but something deeper. There's no other way to explain the fact that I've known several men with worse autism than me, who also looked worse than me, and yet they got GFs and I didn't.

        [...]
        >you're not actively meeting and dating new women, duh
        That won't necessarily help him either. It didn't for me. At college, I threw myself into every social activity I could and developed a large social circle, including many girls. Not one of them was ever interested in dating me. It's like they look at me as a puppy, a completely non-sexual being, rather than a man.

        , I've known several men with autism and they all got GFs or dates at some point.

        I am the only man I've known (IRL at least) who is a kissless dateless virgin. There's clearly something uniquely repulsive about me that goes beyond just having the aspergers disease.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          there are different levels of autism and it can affect you in various ways over the years

          I've had plenty of dates and gfs but it is still something I always struggle with. I can be charming and charismatic sometimes, but people eventually reject me, friends or lovers. So either I turn off people (most people) or I attract them in a mysterious and curious way before they eventually get to know me better and abandon me. I always end up alone.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >there are different levels of autism and it can affect you in various ways over the years
            Sure. But my level of aspergers is very high functioning. As in, that was the phrase that they used for me when they first diagnosed me with it. "Very high functioning aspergers syndrome". Effectively, I probably have the weakest kind of aspergers. So why do men with significantly worse autism than me get girls but I don't?

            >So either I turn off people (most people) or I attract them in a mysterious and curious way before they eventually get to know me better and abandon me. I always end up alone.
            It's funny how you act like you're so poor and downtrodden. You wouldn't last a day in my shoes. Imagine being me, a guy who feels like he did pretty much everything "right" in terms of making himself somebody who could be appealing to women, only to find that he went through 4 years of university without even one singular girl showing any signs of romantic interest towards him. THAT is what loneliness is like.

            I don't think any other person on the planet understands the depth of my pain.

            Can we go back to calling people moronic? Cause that's what this is essentially

            How am I "moronic" exactly? I'd like you to elaborate on that.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          moronic. You are moronic. and no I dont mean the drooling durr durr morons, you are socially and introspectively moronic.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Insults are fun and all, but it'd be cooler if you told me what exactly you mean by "socially and introspectively moronic" and how exactly I can fix that.

            There has to be a reason why I'm the only man I know who ended up like this, kissless and dateless and sexless at age 27.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Can we go back to calling people moronic? Cause that's what this is essentially

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      at this point your only option is to try psychedelics (shrooms, lsd) as they are proven to change the brain's wiring/psynapses.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I've regularly seen guys shorter, uglier, and/or fatter than me walk up to girls and win them over in a couple minutes of conversation
      Now Anon, here’s the real question here. Have YOU ever approached a woman?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Depends what you mean by approach. Have I started conversations with women? Of course, countless times. But I don't flirt with them or ask them out, because they never seem interested in me in that way.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >But I don't flirt with them or ask them out, because they never seem interested in me in that way.

          THEY NEVER MAKE FIRST MOVE

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That isn't true. Plenty of people say that "if a girl likes you, she will make it obvious". I took that advice to heart.

            Also, from speaking to male friends who had GFs, they always have said that there wasn't any specific method to getting their GFs. They always say that they just met them at a social event and "it just happened". Like they were naturally drawn together and just knew, subtly, they were both attracted to one another. That never happens to me.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Like they were naturally drawn together and just knew, subtly, they were both attracted to one another
            Yeah, it’s called being horny. This isn’t some “match in heaven”-type shit. You don’t have to take it so seriously. Or maybe you are looking for “The One”. In which case, that WILL take time and I can’t help you there. Are you looking for the One or some causal, occasional hook-up sex?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Yeah, it’s called being horny.
            Ok, so why do girls get horny for every other guy but never for me?

            >Are you looking for the One or some causal, occasional hook-up sex?
            I'm looking for dates/relationships, not hookups, but I'm not expecting to find my soulmate on the first try. Just finding a girl I like who's willing to date me would be a good thing.

            >it just happened

            this term is encapsulated.

            > naturally drawn together

            you mean god accidently PUT THEM CLOSER AND OPENED THEIR MOUTHS????

            THEY MADE EFFORTS
            THAT'S WHY THEY GOT RESULTS

            yes, physical attractiveness is valid. but it is only for hook ups and ONS.

            PURE NATURAL ORGANIC EFFORTS is what you need.

            learn how to have good conversation
            learn how to please people
            learn how to not be desperate
            learn how to entertain
            learn how to storytell

            THERE IS FORMULA AND SYSTEMATIC METHODS TO GET GIRLFRIEND

            >THEY MADE EFFORTS
            >THAT'S WHY THEY GOT RESULTS
            That isn't what they said to me though. They never told me that they had to do some elaborate process of "seducing" their girl, or asking her out in some very formal way. They always described it as a smooth, natural process where they just gravitated together without even trying. That never happens to me.

            >learn how to have good conversation
            >learn how to please people
            >learn how to not be desperate
            >learn how to entertain
            >learn how to storytell
            Very difficult when you have aspergers disease like I do.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Do you know how to tease? Something tells me you don’t tease girls.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Nope. I have no clue how to tease, or flirt in general. I don't think I'm smooth enough to pull it off. I'd come across like a freak if I ever started saying anything suggestive to a girl.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That’s the issue, then. Girls LOVE to be teased. Have you listened to how girls talk to each other?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >That isn't what they said to me though. They never told me that they had to do some elaborate process of "seducing" their girl, or asking her out in some very formal way. They always described it as a smooth, natural process where they just gravitated together without even trying. That never happens to me.

            THEY MADE EFFORT BY LOOKING GOOD

            SKINCARE
            HAIR CARE
            SMELLING GOOD
            FASHION
            GYM

            >smooth

            smooth happens when you are confident

            you are confident when you do certain thing really good

            you do thing good when you practice and put effort in it

            it can be anything , flirting, talking, teasing

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >THEY MADE EFFORT BY LOOKING GOOD
            >SKINCARE
            >HAIR CARE
            >SMELLING GOOD
            >FASHION
            >GYM
            They didn't though. No offense to them, but a lot of my guy friends look like shit a lot of the time. Or they smell bad. Or dress bad.

            I put a lot more effort into my appearance, and yet girls aren't interested in me. Explain that.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            if they don't look good and girls are still interested in them then they have CRAZY PERSONALITY and VALUE and SOCIAL SKILLS

            value = money, cars, anything you can put here

            personality = understanding her, caring her, leadership qualities, being dominant enough, FUNNY (important), talking skills, ability to manipulate her, ability to read her mind, being kind, EMPATHY

            social skills = handling group sessions, being leader in group, leading girls, being persuasive, understanding social ques

            AGAIN, THERE IS FORMULA TO GET GIRLFRIEND

            and first of all i don't believe anything you said about they smell bad, dress bad

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >it just happened

            this term is encapsulated.

            > naturally drawn together

            you mean god accidently PUT THEM CLOSER AND OPENED THEIR MOUTHS????

            THEY MADE EFFORTS
            THAT'S WHY THEY GOT RESULTS

            yes, physical attractiveness is valid. but it is only for hook ups and ONS.

            PURE NATURAL ORGANIC EFFORTS is what you need.

            learn how to have good conversation
            learn how to please people
            learn how to not be desperate
            learn how to entertain
            learn how to storytell

            THERE IS FORMULA AND SYSTEMATIC METHODS TO GET GIRLFRIEND

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            literally no one on earth has actively practiced those skills and became *actually* charismatic because of it. It's all down to who raised you, what rolemodels you had growing up, the situations you were forced in as a child

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Anon, it has everything to do with the way you present yourself. Not physically, but your personality. You need to look at the common denominator (it's you). Looks don't matter unless you're a 5 who only shoots for 7-10s.

      Every attribute you listed about yourself was physical, and you compared them to other men. What do you bring to the table in terms of personality? Are you genuinely kind? Do you listen? Do you treat women with respect, or do you resent them? Maybe view them as some sort of conquest? Do you have irl female friends or do you try to date every woman you talk to?

      This post showed nothing but a lack of self awareness and pathetic self pitying. You need to do some deep reflection and instead of saying "boohoo women don't want me must be genetic" you should ask "What am I doing and/or saying that makes women not want me?"

      You are the only thing standing in your way and I wish you luck

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Anon, it has everything to do with the way you present yourself. Not physically, but your personality.
        Obviously.

        >What do you bring to the table in terms of personality? Are you genuinely kind? Do you listen?
        Well, I try to be kind. But I don't think I'm very good at it. In the past, some women have told me that I come across as mean, or that they think I "hate them". It might be because I have to put up a stoic exterior in order to prevent women from thinking that I'm hitting on them (I don't want them to think I'm a creep or a sexual assaulter of some kind).

        >Do you treat women with respect, or do you resent them? Maybe view them as some sort of conquest?
        I don't resent women, but I do think that women resent me sometimes. A lot of women have been quite cold and stand-offish towards me over the years. I don't really know what I ever did to deserve that kind of behavior towards me.

        >Do you have irl female friends or do you try to date every woman you talk to?
        I used to have a lot of female friends at school/college, and no, I don't really "try to date" any girls, because they don't seem open to dating me, so I just never try.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Okay anon so you're willing to admit the fundamental issue. You need to work on your personality and how you come across to women.

          You have to be good at being kind, it's not a "try", it's a do or don't. It might do you well to continue not hitting on woman but to just be friendly. Treat them the same way you would a dude, try to engage with more women you could see yourself being friends with. People you think are cool, fit your group, whatever. Completely decide beforehand that there is no goal other than friendship. It's literally no different than developing dude friends. Try to be self aware and realistic, there seem to be flaws in the way you view these things that you need to introspect on and change.

          Do this for a while, until you genuinely feel better about both the things you're saying and the way women react to those things. It's just normal socializing, when we lose touch with it we need to practice it until we can somewhat act like normies.

          First thing you can immediately is read through your posts and remove yourself from your own perspective. Think about why the things you are saying aren't received well. Think about how women you know would reasonably react and view you if they read what you say.

          You aren't that fricked, that's the only reason I'm even replying. Don't go further down the rabbit hole of this mentality, it will do you much better to turn back and focus on self improvement. Do the work and you will get the woman you want. Don't do it and if you're "lucky" you'll get the woman you deserve and enjoy a toxic nightmare of a relationship.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >You have to be good at being kind, it's not a "try", it's a do or don't.
            But I worry that if I'm too kind towards girls, they'll think I'm coming on to them, or that I've fallen in love with them or something. And then things will be really awkward.

            I have to put on the cold, hard exterior around girls to protect myself and to prevent awkward scenarios from arising.

            When I was in college, I was at a party once, and I spoke to this girl for a while. A friend pulled me aside and was telling me all this stuff like "dude she's obviously into you, you have to go for it". So I went back and spoke to her some more, not overtly flirting or anything, but just trying to get to know her and be nice. Then out of nowhere she suddenly stopped the conversation and started saying about how she "liked me but she has a boyfriend so she can't do anything with me". I didn't even say anything in response, I just stood up and walked out the room and left the party instantly. I felt so humiliated and I didn't get over it for weeks, if not months. I can never let situations like that happen to me ever again. It's so embarrassing it still makes me cringe nearly 6 years later.

            That’s the issue, then. Girls LOVE to be teased. Have you listened to how girls talk to each other?

            What exactly do you mean by "teasing"? Can you give examples?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >What exactly do you mean by "teasing"? Can you give examples?

            TEASE is basically light weight funny pranks

            being funny is huge part of teasing

            for example :

            girl says "I work in pharmacy"

            i reply "oh damn, so you sell drugs huh?"

            now this is funny and teasing. and technically it's right too.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >What exactly do you mean by "teasing"? Can you give examples?

            another example of teasing is TELLING HER TO DO ILLEGAL THING

            for example :

            she says " i have never done molly or coke"

            now, doing drugs is kind of illegal

            so i reply "i dare you to try coke" just for fun of course

            LEARN MANIPULATION

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >"liked me but she has a boyfriend so she can't do anything with me"
            This was a perfect opportunity. You should have said
            >I won’t tell if don’t 😉
            Without being serious about it, unless she was suddenly DTF, in which case you were serious.

            >I didn't even say anything in response, I just stood up and walked out the room and left the party instantly
            This was the worst possible choice you could have made. Well, second worst.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >This was a perfect opportunity. You should have said
            >>I won’t tell if don’t 😉
            >Without being serious about it, unless she was suddenly DTF, in which case you were serious.
            That sounds like an awful idea. The girl would definitely have thought I was a creep if I said that. As far as I saw it, her telling me she had a BF was her gently letting me down because she could somehow sense that I thought I had a chance with her.

            >This was the worst possible choice you could have made. Well, second worst.
            Well, I was extremely upset. Especially after my friend had lied to me and told me she was into me. It felt like I had been tricked and set up to be humiliated. I felt like staying in that situation any longer would have made me look pathetic. How could I keep talking to that girl knowing she had rejected me in such a blunt fashion? And I didn't even make a move on her. I was literally just talking to her normally, and yet she still felt the need to reject me in the middle of the conversation.

            After I got home that night, the girl actually went to the effort of finding me on Facebook and sending me a message because she was "worried about me" or something. And she kind of apologized. I don't remember what I said in response. It kind of just made me feel worse, like she pitied me.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >so why....why is it so hard for me?
    you're not actively meeting and dating new women, duh

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don't know, my curse is even worse since I can't even form casual friendships. Never had a single friend. I can't even understadn how that shit works and people do it all the time.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    People are giving suggestions and theories but really if this is you and you're out of school you are completely *fricked*, there's no sugarcoating it. It's not even about sex and having a girlfriend, which everyone here seems overly obsessed over, it's literally just having a positive concept of self that fits into a group and is able to relate to them.
    If you reached adulthood without slotting yourself into any kind of identity, without developing some kind of skill or participating in some kind of activity that binds you with a positive group, you are effectively a non-person. No matter what you do, you are seperate from groups, and even seperate from other non-people.
    So find your cope or just rope

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Is this true or just a doomer cope?
      I need clarity.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Models by Manson,
    Dale carnegie book how to win friends.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The latter is a book for psychopaths and is used by people with ill intentions a lot.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Works just fine for making friends, Also you need to realize not to follow everything at the letter the book doesnt make it so you cant talk

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I find this image relatable to an uncomfortable degree, is it over?

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you probably worry too much. you arent loose enough and dont just do and say what you feel, while keeping in mind to not offend people and to be pleasant. you dwell too much on what you dont have instead of trying to get more and appreciating what you do have and what youre able to do. look at the people you know and see what makes them enjoyable to be around. what do the people you know that have gfs, do that makes them seem different? if you say nothing youre not looking at it right.
    they WANT and TRY to have a good time. they act as hosts even though theyre not at home. they're actively trying to be nice. it may come more natural to some people because of how they were raised and who they grew up around. it may come naturally to them because thats all they've seen since they were a little kid so its just how it is to them.
    your parents probably weren't the most social and didnt encourage or push you much. you probably just werent taught at a young age how to socialize.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      tl;dr: it's over

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        no. you need to understand your problem before you can overcome it. understand whats wring with you so you can figure out what you need to do to handle it best.

        you (maybe) never learned how to socialize and have to learn now, by yourself, and its going to be hard as hell. but its possible. you have to try. and you dont learn without failing first. and knowing youre going to fail is scary because as an adult youve failed before and know how it sucks, but youll have to suck it up and go fail for a bit before you succeed which you can if you try.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You're talking as if at the end of all the painful hard work and humiliation, constantly pushing down the feeling that I don't belong and everyone is ahead of me, I'd be a perfectly funcional person just like every else. I wouldn't. I'd still be a half-human weirdo who still lacks all the experiences people use to relate with eachother, just able to hide it better.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            youll never be like everyone else because no one is like anyone else. youll always be a bit weird but you dont have to be as weird as you are now.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'll just kill myself or keep rotting but thank you for trying

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      not op but that describes me pretty well and what you're saying is really depressing. can I really fix this if its so deeply rooted? i cant redo my childhood. are you speaking from experience and actually managed to get better?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm pretty much describing myself. im at a point where i know what to do to fix it, but im unable to motivate myself to do it. im a bit better than what i was in the sense of being a bit more confident than i was. but ive still need to get over this girlfriend hurdle. im also willing to accept that that upbringing left permanent damage that can't be totally undone. like having your feet bound as you grow.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm a 23 khhv and I've never really tried. It gets depressing sometimes but I'd much rather stay at home and play video games than risk embarrassment in public talking to women. I don't anticipate ever getting a gf unless someone specifically set me up with a girl who miraculously liked me.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The only way to fit in is by vibrating lower. People only get along with each other because they vibrate low. They need external help to help them socialize, live or do anything. The reason everyone seems to have such easy lives is because they cheat. Without external help they are nothing. Lower your vibration and let us know what happens. People like us are too high for 99% of people.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    BEING FUN MEANS :

    being weird, being dumb, being stupid

    everyday people live with RULES.

    wake up - brush your teeth - go to job - live like a robot at a job - come back - dinner - go to sleep

    this is robot.

    BEING FUN means doing opposite.

    breaking rules.

    GIRLS LOVE MEN WHO BREAK RULES.

    GIRLS LOVE MEN WHO ARE GOOD AT THINGS.

    just be there with her, talk about things with her, make stupid jokes, say random shit that don't make sense, say illogical things

    GIRLS HATE LOGIC

    IT'S ALSO A BUSINESS , you receive what you give.

    IF YOU GIVE VALUE, FUN TIME, CARE TO GIRL, SHE WILL GIVE HERSELF TO YOU

    >why is it so hard for me?

    YOU ARE SCARED TO BREAK RULES
    YOU ARE SCARED TO GIVE VALUE TO OTHER PEOPLE
    YOU ARE SCARED TO CARE FOR OTHERS

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you posted this as a joke but really thats a pretty good way of cutting through the bullshit and cope responses.
      If you didn't socialize your dog properly as a puppy it will never be a social dog. All you can do after it's an adult is minimize how it reacts. The same is true for humans

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As someone who has been both a virgin into their late 20s and also has had multiple relationships/girls interested in them, what this board will overlook is that there are elements of luck and things out of your control. This doesn't mean give up, but I've found a combination of flighty mixed signal chicks, chicks that just want attention, chicks that probably aren't into me, and honestly a majority of chicks I'm not into or it just wouldn't work with. I do sense a common thread with people who internalize rejection or a sense of being unwanted, maybe stemming from their upbringing, and I think this can play a role too, but you are right in your observations. All the advice given on this board implies there's some secret to magically having things unlocked for you, and in your own experience you've seen that this advice is contradicted by your anecdotal observations. My guess at this point is the universe is trying to teach us something, but yes there are long dry spells and some of us are just different. I think you can have a personality that makes it a lot harder to find a match and I think sometimes you're just unlucky. I come not to encourage demoralization, but to reduce the neuroticism that advisors will foster. Do your best and try to see if there are things you can improve on but don't beat yourself up and internalize every facet of this fricked up blue trap bubble.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You need to try. You don't.

    You expect the world to throw a lovely woman onto your lap. It won't.

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