I only get hard when women show interest in me.

I only get hard when women show interest in me. I dont know what lead to this path in my life but when a girl tells me she likes me, or she will text me something naughty, thats an instaboner.
When Im with her in person and i could see her getting horny for me thats an instant boner
BUT thats where it ends. I dont get hard from being touched, sucked, or sticking my dick in her

How the frick can i fix this

Die For Epstein's Client List Shirt $21.68

It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14

Die For Epstein's Client List Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Tell us about how you spend your time, work and non-work. That will enable an answer.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Excerise 2x a week full body workouts
      M-F I work from home so im sitting at a computer most of the day
      On weekends I will usually visit family for a few hours, since they have a house and I can do physical activity outside
      I meet up with friends every week or every other week
      I dont drink or smoke when Im home
      I only drink socially but i drive to bars so I dont overdo it.

      You likely are desperate for female validation rather than actually caring about sex or relationships in general.

      This seems to be close. I dated one girl in hs for 4 months and broke up with her because she had emotional issues. I took another girl to prom but she rejected me after.
      I didnt date at all during college and i didnt frick for the first time until I was 22.
      I've had many women come and go with passing interest in me, that usually died off after first-base activities. i am now 31, I have had actual intercourse with only 4 women. I dated one girl for 3 years but I never had any real interest in sex beyond the first few months when she was still getting to know me.

      Are you able to (or is it hotter for you to imagine) touching a girl and making her moan? In the lesbian community 20 years ago, we would have called someone like this a stone butch.

      I like getting a girl off because i know i am good at it. in a way its my internation rationalization making up for me not being able to stay hard long enough to frick them, so the least i can do is make them cum.
      Every girl I've been with ive been able to get off with either my mouth, tongue, fingers, teeth etc. even if I never put my dick in them.

      I told only one girl flat out "i dont get turned on by hjs bjs or intercourse" and she didnt really understand or take it that well.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >

        Tell us about how you spend your time, work and non-work. That will enable an answer.

        (You)
        I have read the whole thread and I agree with other anons that it is a validation issue.

        This is one of those situations where both the fappers and the MGTOW guys actually have a kernel of truth in their respective mindsets. I'm not advocating those lifestyles but just saying, consider these points of those two lifestyles, respectively:

        1. It's alright to objectify a woman at least a little bit, to see her as a toy to get yourself off with.

        2. It is alright to view oneself as a supreme being beholden to no-one else's opinion.

        If you can get her off with your mouth, etc, then it is a short step to getting her off with your dick. Most women like dicks (but not always the people they're attached to. LOL).

        Imagine you're a supreme being because you can make a woman jump through hoops in bed. You can also use her body as an instrument of your pleasure, because that's what a supreme being might do.

        You don't have to stay in one frame of mind, but you can imagine yourself, and her, in any way you want.

        To gain a bit more such mental flexibility, you might try fantasizing, while in or outside of the act. You might also do meditation at other times.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I get so tired out during sex that sometimes I cant even think about that
          >lick here, bite here, touch there, nibble her ear, kiss her neck, move down her chest, now back up, kiss her, ok now back down to her breasts, play with one, play with the other etc...
          I do this for 20 minutes or more until im sweating and then when she comes i have no energy left to even be aroused. Recently I did that with a girl and I actually fell asleep in bed because of it, I didnt even cum or do anything dopamine-releasing, I was just burnt out.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No, just suck and lick the parts you like. The point is intimacy, not playing Go where you have to capture territory. Have names for the comfortable (for you) positions (for her) and tell her to go into each one as required: supine; butt in air; doggy. I said make her jump through hoops, not you.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe that will work next time. I know last time, she wanted me to go down on her and i said no so she said no blowjob until I do. not exactly a good one for me to work with

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You likely are desperate for female validation rather than actually caring about sex or relationships in general.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nta but this is me
      what do i do about it tho. i cant stop

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are you able to (or is it hotter for you to imagine) touching a girl and making her moan? In the lesbian community 20 years ago, we would have called someone like this a stone butch.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >When Im with her in person and i could see her getting horny
    how do you notice this?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Depends, sometimes she will cuddle closer to me or put her hands on a certain part of my body.
      or she still stare at me while im talking to her up close.
      Or when I kiss her the kiss will last a little longer than a normal kiss.
      Or she might suggest we do something flirtatiously

      Any one of those signs and I go in for it, usually right into foreplay mode

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Same, I have no clue if its a validation thing or what but I hate it

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly probably a validation thing. It's not entirely unheard of. A lot of guys pursue women and sex just because they get validation from it rather than actually enjoying it

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Validation issue. I had the same thing. I would basically get euphoria from a girl talking dirty to me or flirting with me but sex itself was kind of mid

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      So how did you get over it?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Philosophy, mostly stoicism. Sex is still kind of mid and overrated.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That may work for men, but I know women will slowly start resent you for never being able to enjoy yourself during sex. They will be constantly asking "what am i doing wrong, does he think im ugly" or worse "this guy is sexually broken, i need to find another one who isnt"

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I mean, sex is enjoyable but I really only do it for the physical aspect now, it's that that much better than just jacking off. I don't have it that frequently anyways

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            *not that much better

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I dont have sex that often anymore either. When I was with my ex we'd have it frequently, and eventually she stopped asking if I was going to ever cum during sex. but I know she was thinking about it

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I talked to my therapist about this today. She said that its possible I dont enjoy sex because I've never been with a girl whos been able to do it right, or that I've haven been with a girl I'm trying into. Shes got a point, for the last 10 years I've only dated average or chubby girls because thats the best I could get.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this doesnt seem like its getting at the root of the issue at all, "just get a hotter chick bro" seems like a shit analysis

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah i may just switch to a new therapist

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          seems like a good idea

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I only get hard when women show interest in me.
    That's normal
    >How the frick can i fix this
    No problem to fix.
    Just have her be horny for you while fricking you, problem solved.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have the same issue as OP, needless to say, I don't get aroused often 🙁

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How did you fix it?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *