I started suspecting my girlfriend was cheating on me when i realized her phone was blocked with a password.

I started suspecting my girlfriend was cheating on me when i realized her phone was blocked with a password. 2 days ago I found out she was indeed cheating, but not with a guy. She had been cheating with a girl she met online. And she has been asking her for money and stuff. Last month my girlfriend brought me a thick gold chain. She said she had been saving money for a while but it's clear she asked this girl for money.

I have been ignoring her for a couple of days, she doesn't know that I know. Mostly because the whole thing hurt me and I don't want to see her right now. I want to cool down my emotions, I'm extremely violent when I feel insulted so it's for the best we stay as far as possible for the time being.

Any advice? I'm not feeling so good, yes I'm going to break up with her, but right now I'm just trying to fix myself.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    A part of me says that she is propelling this into your favor by setting up a threesome.

    Another part of me says that if she doesn't, you can gaslight and guilt-trip this into one.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Life is not pornography, in real life when your partner cheats on you, even when it's a woman it hurts, and hurts a lot. I'm not interested in threesomes or similar shit. I just want to learn how to deal with the pain. I'm going to leave her.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        My bad, I was steering this in a direction of comfort that clearly didn't sail.

        It appears that you have also a plan of some sort to do away with this, but not yet the vigor to see this through right now. This says a good lot about where you are right now, and how far you have recovered in such a short period of time. I'll even go as far as to tell you that your current direction will lead out in due time have you trust in your own processes.

        There is no "real" advice except a genuine compliment that you have handled it well and a warning that you must watch yourself from being warped by this happenstance.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Confront her. Tell her you know and dump her.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Define cheating. Have they met in real life and had sex? Or just talking?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      NTA but doesn't matter. Intent to cheat = cheating

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It does matter a lot. If all they were doing is talking nonsexual stuff that's not cheating.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          What's the difference? What if you found them messaging others or sending pictures

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Are you saying you're not allowed to have friends and message them when in a relationship?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Do you think you should be able to have the same kinds of conversions, you would have with someone you're dating, as you friends? Do you think it's ok to do the same things with your lover, to your friends?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >She had been cheating with a girl she met online. And she has been asking her for money and stuff.
        Why does "cheating" sound like
        >she was messaging a girl

        and not actually cheating on you

        What's the difference? What if you found them messaging others or sending pictures

        Do you think you should be able to have the same kinds of conversions, you would have with someone you're dating, as you friends? Do you think it's ok to do the same things with your lover, to your friends?

        >asking her for money
        Anon, is she cheating on you or is she scamming people? Has she met this person or is she just talking to people online and then manipulating them to get their money?

        This is what I'm saying.

        OP's girlfriend managed to get a female simp to send her some money, which she used on him, and OP thinks it's the same as her frickin a guy from work or something.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >life is not pornography
    No wonder she cheated on you, b***h.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    sounds like cold-war propaganda.

    anyways, why not try a threesome.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >She said she had been saving money for a while but it's clear she asked this girl for money.
    Date the 2nd girl then.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Break up immediately. Move on.

    There's literally no other option unless you're into femdom NTR shit in which case my advice is to talk to your doctor about low T.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Break up immediately. Move on.
      Why?

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    There is always the possibility that she has just discovered her bi side and didn't plan to be unfaithful. She may be confused which way to turn.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >asking her for money
    Anon, is she cheating on you or is she scamming people? Has she met this person or is she just talking to people online and then manipulating them to get their money?

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My advice to you is that you need to stop pretending to be a victim. You are not hurt: you are offended. Never conflate the two because that's what borderline and narcissists do. If you're unable to do that then you are suffering from a psychotic episode and you need to take responsibility for your own mental health by checking into a psychiatric ward. Have the day that you deserve, you selfish, blubbering sack of shit.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Take your meds.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Degenerate. I know you're a degenerate because your values are inverted. Meaningless pleasure seeking is the new religion of the West. That's all "wokeism" is; vanity and unearned entitlement. Dick.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Have you ever considered that my values are not inverted but that you've been indoctrinated into believing an aspect of reality that's been deliberately fabricated for the purpose of allowing people who hold superior social positions to have power over you?

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Hey I'm sorry to hear this. I had a similar thing happen to me. Even though it was a girl, it still hurt, though for me it was more emotionally confusing and not as clear cut as if it was a guy. But what hurt most was the betrayal of trust and the feeling that she had been falsifying a part of my reality, and so I'd been living a lie. Its very upending. People usually give shitty relationship advice because more often than not, they usually talk from a place of past hurt. I'd just say that everyone is a scumbag of some sort and everyone has a shadow and there isn't a woman or person in the world that gets through any relationship without fricking the other person over at some point to varying degrres. We're taught to believe in the impossibility of a perfect woman, one who is always nurturing, virginal, stainless, warm, mothering. But that's an archetype, not a human woman. I dunno if you've got any of that sort of naiivete still bouncing around in your head, but if you do, you're always going to have bad time with women.

    That said if she's someone who is callous, disconnected and lacks self-awareness, the chances that she's going have some sort of life-changing epiphany when she's caught out is pretty low. Curb that frickin violent streak bud, in the 21st century you can get tossed in the back of a cop car for looking sideways at a woman. I was and then it was 2 years of Hell for not having even touched her.

    After you're calm, call her out about it and remain calm. Listen to what she has to say, watch her fidget and crack. At the very least its interesting and there's a bit of schadenfreude to enjoy, but maybe you'll do her some good on your way out by shining a spotlight on her and burning through her bullshit.

    Good luck man. Sorry you're having a time.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >But that's an archetype, not a human woman. I dunno if you've got any of that sort of naiivete still bouncing around in your head, but if you do, you're always going to have bad time with women.
      What do you suggest and how would you handle a situation now if you knew or suspected partner was cheating on you?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        What exactly did you see? Are they talking explicitly about scissoring or something?

        I think the way I handled it was the right way. Not at first, at first I blew up, but then I took a few hours and came back and told her(calmly!) how she fricked up and how it was massive fricking c**t thing to do being so clandestine and betraying me like that. She was demoralized by what was the obvious truth stated calmly and plainly. Thats important that, as hard as it is to be stoic. There was sadness mixed with anger and loss and love. There was honesty. That was the benefit and takeaway of that interaction. We broke up for a half a year and got back together for awhile until the romance fizzled out. Now I'm with another woman and things are mostly wonderful, but maybe something like that will happen again. Its just the way these things go. Love is learning about yourself and about life through pain because it makes you a soft shelled crab; vulnerable, exposed. It also teaches you how naive it is to look at anything in life as lasting forever or being good forever. Whether that's a lover or your fun college years or otherwise. That in turn should impart a sense of gratefulness for these little blips in time that we get to experience anything at all. Cheers man, warm regards to you.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >it was a massive c**t thing to do

          How did you arrive at the conclusion that her actions were a 'massive c**t thing to do'? Were you interpreting it as a personal attack, or do you see it more as an expression of her individual desires and experiences? And how does your perception contribute to our understanding of morality and personal actions?

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I started suspecting my girlfriend was cheating on me when i realized her phone was blocked with a password
    Kek do people really not set a passcode for their phones? Why the frick would you not do that?

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