I'm a 60 year old virgin

I'm turning 60 next month and I've never had sex with a woman, the closest I got was holding hands with a girl in high school but her family moved to a different state. How over is it for me at this point? I don't work and I live with my parents, I have money but I'm not super rich, I have about 500k.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    No posts saying "RIP bozo" or stupid shit like that, only serious replies.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      how can we take this premise seriously, I can easily say the same I'm a 90 year old virgin, turning 90 next month blah blah blah. How the frick are you this old and on NSFFW, why aren't you on at least a realistically boomer medium like talking over ham radio? You can't be fricking 60 and live with your parents.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >You can't be fricking 60 and live with your parents
        My mom had me at 14 and my dad was 15 but they got married so everything was alright. It was pretty normal in the south and midwest to have kids young, get married and work in whatever your father did. Shit changed when retail and fast food jobs took over though.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          that still doesn't explain why you're such an old boomer on NSFFW, this is literally weak story telling. I'd believe it if you were on pol but on NSFFW, complaining about being muh virgin in modern lingo is so poorly thought of especially when you had to throw in that you live with your parents. That literally ruined any plausibility. You could had removed that and I'd believe it 100% that you somehow were a so so computer nerd that kept up with the times up to NSFFW but to STILL live with you parents is unbelievable. You could had send you inherited the house, but the fact that they're both living is unrealistic and I have to call in that this is a bait thread

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >You can't be fricking 60 and live with your parents.
        This will be me.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          as long as you never did the waist-down rumba with a two dimensional raccoon you peeled off the I-45, you're probably okay

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I can't imagine caring at the point -- does it come back to you (the regret)?
        I'm 39 and never even held hands and now I'm just bitter-as-frick and don't even want anything to do with a relationship.

        >You can't be fricking 60 and live with your parents.
        My mother almost was like this; she was in her late 50s when she finally moved out. It was because my grandmother died and my grandfather fricked off with his mistress (who I am pretty sure encouraged him to poison my grandmother) and then my mom just accepted a marriage proposal from a stalker so she wouldn't be alone. All kinds of fricked up...

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    at this point gramps, just buy a prostitute and see how it feels. unless you're religious or something

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >just buy a prostitute and see how it feels
      1/3rd are just feds, 1/3rd are snitches and the remaining third are too cheap to be disease free. I've thought about going to Nevada and screwing with some legal hookers but it seems like a long way away and a lot of money to spend for pussy.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        honestly dude, you just gotta take a chance on it if you want it. i'm pretty sure a jury of your peers would not convict a 60 year old for buying a prostitute after living his whole life never feeling the touch of a woman. Maybe fly out to SEA for a little sex tourism or something idk, you have money. You're just making excuses at this point.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Maybe fly out to SEA for a little sex tourism or something idk
          are you talking about midgets or kids?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          This. I've been to Thailand (Pattaya) several times and there were tons of men (60+) with young ladies. It's a shame your dick probably stopped working properly years ago but it's extremely easy to buy Viagra there.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Why would he need an erection when he's getting fricked by a virile young ladyboy who has no issue getting hard?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >60
        >Still making excuses based on his fears
        Come on man... You don't have much to lose at this point

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    At 60 is pretty over, it flops, you flopped

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >At 60 is pretty over, it flops, you flopped
      Nothing's over while i'm still breathing

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm 30, I'll probably be in your position 30 years from now unless I rope.

    Any advice on how to cope with it? I'm also moronic and have been fired from every job I've ever had and currently Neeting in my moms basment, so I can't really go down the moneymaxxxing route.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Any advice on how to cope with it?
      I used to jerk off using dead animals while thinking of women in my teens but I stopped doing that when I got a rash. Ever since then I've just jerk offd with my hands, it's not as good but it's less risky and after a while you get used to it again. I experimented with pocket pussies and things like that but they never really did it for me so I threw them away. Now I just spend my time meandering around on the internet, in the early 2000s I'd spend all day and night on all sorts of forums and such but with the centralization of the internet I've been driven to NSFFW and prevented from leaving due to the dearth of good forums. Sorry if my reply was wordy.

      >I'm also moronic and have been fired from every job I've ever had and currently Neeting in my moms basment, so I can't really go down the moneymaxxxing route.
      Not with that attitude, save money and make investments. I don't know how the stocks work nowadays but I'm sure if you found yourself a good broker who you trust you could make some money and maybe even ask for an internship.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >used to jerk off using dead animals

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          yeah it's pretty over,
          your fertility has been trashed by this age
          going for someone who is young enough to not be fertility trashed would get you called a pedo
          your brain is likely not flexible enough to learn socializing with females

          >jerk offd with dead animals
          yyyyuuuuup you are not making it

          I didn't kill them it was roadkill.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            https://voca.ro/1hHmuADfZYgy

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >https://voca.ro/1hHmuADfZYgy
            I'm being serious though I didn't kill any of them, they were always dead when I found them. I used to live near some decent roads for roadkill so there'd always be plenty around however that stopped being the case because the street cleaners just started putting them in the trash before there was a chance to frick them anyways, i didn't want to anymore though since it was just a boyhood teenage phase anyways.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >it was just a boyhood teenage phase
            yeah the very normal necrophiliac/bestality phase we all had growing up. Shit I remember mine like it was yesterday

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            People experiment, when did this place get so judgemental?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Nice trips, however being judgemental is pretty weak minded. Sexual experimentation is a thing that normal, healthy people do. Besides, I don't frick roadkill anymore since that was just a teenage phase.

            https://voca.ro/19hqONhEzH3G

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            you've never sexually experimented?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            everyone goes through a phase where they experiment and get a little adventurous, especially in their teens

            samegay scumbag

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It's not samegayging it's me, OP you fricking moron.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            everyone goes through a phase where they experiment and get a little adventurous, especially in their teens

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        yeah it's pretty over,
        your fertility has been trashed by this age
        going for someone who is young enough to not be fertility trashed would get you called a pedo
        your brain is likely not flexible enough to learn socializing with females

        >jerk offd with dead animals
        yyyyuuuuup you are not making it

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >used to jerk off using dead animals
        there is no word in elvish or entish or the tongues of men for this heresy

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Nice trips, however being judgemental is pretty weak minded. Sexual experimentation is a thing that normal, healthy people do. Besides, I don't frick roadkill anymore since that was just a teenage phase.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >used to jerk off using dead animals
        Hmm, I am not dumb enough to believe this.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >500k but living with parents

    Ok I did that with close to that amount of money but only because I was looking to buy my condo. You at 60? wtf man we need context

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >You at 60? wtf man we need context
      I worked hard from 12-my late 20s and saved everything I got because I was convinced i'd find a girl and settle down and I wanted to be able to pay for kids, a house and a wedding out of pocket however as time went passing by I realized this wasn't going to happen and so I just left the money in investments, quit work and just lived on my savings. Over time they increased and so eventually after 40 years I have 500k more or less, minus all the money I've spent over the years.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I also don't pay rent, heating, bills etc. and only spend money on food.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        and your folks I assume had to be okay with that and you're presumably inheriting the house because surely they're up there in age if you're that old lmao

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How over is it for me at this point?
    well MR BOOMER, it would help to know whats your health like at age 60, that would determine if it's over or not. Are you 300lbs with diabetes? Are you some turbo autist who kept you health in peak shape? Are you on mental decline? give us some real stats for serious replies

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Are you 300lbs with diabetes?
      No, i'm physically fit but pretty chubby

      >Are you on mental decline?
      No, i'm fine.

      >give us some real stats for serious replies
      This is my pic on my drivers license and some other stuff, i'm not some obese weirdo.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >i'm not some obese weirdo.
        >I used to jerk off using dead animals
        I look like this and do this.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Look at my picture, i'm not obese lmao.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You look exactly like someone who would fap using dead animals tho. lol, lmao even.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >chubby
        over, how the frick have you been a virgin all this time and still fat. You had all the time in the world to fitness max. Your health will rapidly decline especially if you're fat, let me guess you also smoked? drinked? sugar? your brain is prolly fricked with organ scarring and weak blood vessels.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >your brain is prolly fricked with organ scarring and weak blood vessels.
          More like fricked from prions coming from roadkill.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >More like fricked from prions coming from roadkill.
            Well if the dead start walking we know it was this corpse fricker who was patient zero.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >let me guess you also smoked? drinked? sugar?
          I smoked the more child friendly cigarettes with the filter from about 5-19 until my parents got all mad about how cigarettes and smoking were suddenly bad for you and other stuff, in retrospect they were right but I thought it was hypocritical that they'd let me smoke myself to sleep as a baby and smoked all the time then flipped on me and banned from from smoking in the house. I've drunk occasionally but it's not a regular thing. I eat sugary food though, just not regularly because so few sweets around today are as good as the shit from back in the day.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >shit lifestyle
            again it is "over" what now, Mr. boomer? what was the point in making this thread? now that it's over now what

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    OP here, I forgot to tell you guys that I trooned out at the age of 41. I'm obese and I have little budding nipplebreasts on top of my ham milkers.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't you ever go to a cathouse, seems more practical than jacking off to animal corpses? My grandfathers friend practically lived in the local cathouse.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Why didn't you ever go to a cathouse
      Were none around me.

      >seems more practical than jacking off to animal corpses?
      I didn't jack off to them I fricked them like you would a pocket pussy however the roadkill was warm and moist inside from all the juices so it felt way better than using hands.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Did you live in a methville trailer park in bumfrick appalachia?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >bestality phase we all had growing up.
          No. I live in a nice house with both parents in a suburban/rural type area.

          You look exactly like someone who would fap using dead animals tho. lol, lmao even.

          I guess.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    how old are your parents holy shit, are they like 120 or something?, at that point i would be doing cocaine everyday and drinking myself to oblivion

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >how old are your parents holy shit, are they like 120 or something?
      People in my family regularly reach past 100, usually dying in the between 101-109 but apparently there was an old relative in the wild west who managed to make it into her 120s but I have no info on her so I can't confirm or deny the veracity of that.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    imagine
    >be mom
    >boy is like 15 but ain't quite right
    >he's not a homosexual at least but there's nogf
    >smell something horrible
    >hear fapfapfap noises, but muffled
    >the kid lurches over to close the bedroom door in a panic
    >you see him nuts deep in a dead skunk

    what do, femanons?

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    OP why are you asking if it's over? It's been over for a few decades now and you are probably going to die in a few years lol

    Tbh I just skimmed the thread so I might've missed stuff but I guess what do you want out of life? Do you have any goals?

    If you want to have sex I think you should be able to find someone willing given you are white and not fat. Idk if you still look like that picture but if so, I would suggest getting a clean shave and shorter haircut. Might be a decent face under there, though you look like you have a lazy eye or something so that'll hold you back a bit

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >the homie who fricked dead animals is also a sex offender

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >doxxing
    eat shit and die

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    [...]
    >doxxing
    eat shit and die

    yeah was molesting also just a phase

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      imagine being such a zoom zoom homosexual that you cannot sniff out obvious bait. your capacity to constantly virtue signal never fails to amaze me. you even have to do it when it's obviously a joke. absolutely fricking pathetic.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    pls don't be real

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Holy frick, I kneel ojee san

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    [...]
    [...]
    yeah was molesting also just a phase

    I kneel again

  18. 1 month ago
    Op

    You all got trolled lmaoooooooo

    I'm just larping as an old guy lololo

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You're not the OP, Black person

      • 1 month ago
        Op

        I am moron, Whether you want to believe or not it's still me

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >1. its publicly accessible information
    so is your birth certificate and property deed however i'm sure if it were posted here you'd be affronted

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >and is overweight.
    he said he was chubby, i assume he has a fat gut

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    PLEEEEASE PLEEEEASE USE UR MONEY TO HAVE A FRICKING WIZARD TOWER FOR A HOME CONSTRUCTED AND BUILT AND LET ME LIVE WITH YOU TILL YOU DIE

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    So you were a 40 year old virgin when The 40 Year Old Virgin came out 20 years ago? What did you think of that coincidence?

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