I'm about to turn 26 and I am stuck.I am single, never had a gf, and am unemployed.

I'm about to turn 26 and I am stuck.I am single, never had a gf, and am unemployed. I finished a degree and a masters, and am currently on the track to getting a PhD, but only did it because one of my professors encouraged me to because I had "potential". I barely missed out on a huge scholarship I was hinging on that would have kept me fed for 4 years, so now I don't know what to do, besides writing more papers hoping to get another shot at another one next year. I always do as I am told and have no direction, no interests or self reliance. My degree is kind of a meme and I doubt anyone would hire me. I'm also completely lacking in street smarts. Do you have any advice on how to take control? I get the feeling I'm heading towards disaster, but I still have increasingly little time to correct course, just don't know how.

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    what are you doing your phd in?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Humanities and art. Basically, making a living out of talking and writing about films, literature and all that gay shit I love. My professor convinced me it could be done and I'm trying to, but it also seems kind of a pipe dream (even though he does it).

      Get loans like everyone else. The amount you will potentially make will be higher then what you would make if you did not have one.

      Yeah, but what would I use the loans for? I doubt they'd grant me one to start with, but I don't want to go into debt without a plan.

      Get a job. You need work experience behind you

      I don't know what do work in, whether it should be tangential to what I do or just part time. I do know that I should probably get one.

      >I'm about to turn 26 and I am stuck.I am single, never had a gf, and am unemployed. I finished a degree and a masters, and am currently on the track to getting a PhD, but only did it because one of my professors encouraged me to because I had "potential".
      this is me except I dont have any education and a few dozen thousand in debt
      so it could be worse

      Jesus, I'm sorry to hear that. I have no student loans because college is dirt cheap where I'm from, but that also probably accounts for the quality of my diploma.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Your plan is this. Take out student loan, get PhD, typically businesses have relationships with universities and how grads right after they graduate. Do find out what company works with your university and then go work for them. Part of your paycheck goes to pay off loan, the rest you live off of. That's how life works.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Is that how it works in the US or in general? I'm afraid I'm ignorant on the proceedings.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's how it works in the US, but likely elsewhere from legitimate universities. Universities are graded world wide and so universities want those high scores, hence why they do things like this. Talk to your professors about where to work and the front desk.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Oh, if you're a humanities and art major you'll probably have some corp that works with the university doing design of some sort. Usually they also have job services at the university to help graduates get jobs. It's in their self interest to show off their graduates are employed also if you get your PhD you can adjunct. The pay is garbage, but having experience teaching opens up opportunities.
        Also, people miscalculate loans. They think "oh, instead of spending that money on a college degree, I could have bought a house" this is a miscalculation. Banks are willing to give loans to college students for school. They are not so willing to give you a loan to buy a house. So you never had that opportunity in the first place.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >no interests

        >films, literature and all that gay shit I love

        Why doesn't what you study count as an interest? And how have you been through entire degree programs without making any friends or having any kind of a romantic relationship? What exactly are you doing with your time?

        You have no reason to complain at all. You're in university, you're paradise.
        You can just walk around and talk to girls all day long, you have something to start conversations and by that a relationship with everyone on campus.

        >My degree is kind of a meme and I doubt anyone would hire me
        its perfect for banking, finance or any grunt office work, everything with words "analyst" or "specialist" in job title but for you you're gonna have to start from getting an internship. nowadays you cant get a work without experience, only internships.

        But you shouldn't try to get a job yet, it will just be hell for you since now you will have to be employed while still miserable about solitude and celibacy. University needs to be your priority since it's the only place to come into contact with women, where you can talk to women and interact with them. There's nothing like it afterwards, out of uni you will just be in hell having to slave away for years until you can afford to come back to where you are at right now.

        You are in the best place possible in this world, there's nothing better that can happen to you. You're just not using your current situation to get what you actually want. A job is shit, work is the worst thing there is and contact with women is the best one and you want to trade heaven for hell. People would kill to be where you are right now.

        Just focus on socializing with women where you are right now, focus on meeting girls in uni and forming large social circles of them that let you meet more and more of them.

        >University needs to be your priority since it's the only place to come into contact with women, where you can talk to women and interact with them.

        You cannot meet anyone at university. Everyone is just sitting with their classes in their closed classrooms with no way for you to join the class or talk to anybody. If you try they will not let you sit down or let you say anything. There is no way to meet anybody and meeting women and dating is impossible.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >And how have you been through entire degree programs without making any friends or having any kind of a romantic relationship?
          I did make friends, and they introduced me to other people. Even though I can never quite shake off the feeling of being an outsider I'm not alone in that regard. With girls it was far more complicated, but I still struggle with finding a woman to make my gf. It's both an internal and contextual issue; I have very low self-esteem and am terribly anxious when it comes to approaching girls. I went on a couple of dates with one, lost my V-Card but then we stopped talking.
          >What exactly are you doing with your time?
          What I said, currently I'm writing short articles for academic magazines and going to conferences. I have to pay to go to those, the idea was to boost my CV so I could apply to a scholarship, but this year it didn't pan out. I'm still writing but it's gonna be a dry year and I'm getting anxious over wasting time and continually seeing my few savings shrink. If I didn't live with my parents I'd be fricked.

          Don't listen to him, he's a doomer. Get your friends to take you out, and don't worry about introductions. You just need a group of people to go out with so you can become a regular at places where you can meet girls. Otherwise it can be nerve racking but is still worth doing. Every night you stay home is another girl you will never meet. If I did what you are doing I would never have met my wife and my child would not exist. Go out.

          He's an optimistic doomer then, lol. Meeting girls makes me incredibly anxious. I am also very self conscious over how lacking my personal life is. I doubt I have anything to offer to a woman my age, who's probably already working and has a few expectations. I'm a self admitted manchild. Even younger girls have different expectations on what a 26 year old should be able to offer them, and I can't really meet them.
          Still, you are 100% right in that without trying there is no chance of success.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Get that PhD, there is still hope for you. Those art degrees are only meme degrees if you only pursue a bachelors or maybe even a masters degree only. I don't know what but with a PhD there must be something you could find. Then once you get hired just careermaxx and then you'll find a girlfriend as long as you gymmaxx as well and assuming you are around normie genetics.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I exercise on the regular, so at least I have that going for me. I don't think I can hop off the PhD train yet, specially with no other options. I've heard that the PhD helps you score better points in education, but I don't know if that¡s the path for me. By the time I have it I'll be 32, Jesus Christ.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get loans like everyone else. The amount you will potentially make will be higher then what you would make if you did not have one.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get a job. You need work experience behind you

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm about to turn 26 and I am stuck.I am single, never had a gf, and am unemployed. I finished a degree and a masters, and am currently on the track to getting a PhD, but only did it because one of my professors encouraged me to because I had "potential".
    this is me except I dont have any education and a few dozen thousand in debt
    so it could be worse

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You have no reason to complain at all. You're in university, you're paradise.
    You can just walk around and talk to girls all day long, you have something to start conversations and by that a relationship with everyone on campus.

    >My degree is kind of a meme and I doubt anyone would hire me
    its perfect for banking, finance or any grunt office work, everything with words "analyst" or "specialist" in job title but for you you're gonna have to start from getting an internship. nowadays you cant get a work without experience, only internships.

    But you shouldn't try to get a job yet, it will just be hell for you since now you will have to be employed while still miserable about solitude and celibacy. University needs to be your priority since it's the only place to come into contact with women, where you can talk to women and interact with them. There's nothing like it afterwards, out of uni you will just be in hell having to slave away for years until you can afford to come back to where you are at right now.

    You are in the best place possible in this world, there's nothing better that can happen to you. You're just not using your current situation to get what you actually want. A job is shit, work is the worst thing there is and contact with women is the best one and you want to trade heaven for hell. People would kill to be where you are right now.

    Just focus on socializing with women where you are right now, focus on meeting girls in uni and forming large social circles of them that let you meet more and more of them.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not sure it really counts as being "in university". I'm 26, man, I am on a post-degree. At this point university becomes something of a remote issue. I don't have classmates anymore >or an actual obligation to be there.
      nowadays you cant get a work without experience, only internships.
      That's what I'm afraid of, but my degree offered zero internships. A friend of mine was able to find a job like that, but he had to do a course that was sponsored by another university. But yeah, they kind of left us out to dry here.
      >There's nothing like it afterwards, out of uni you will just be in hell having to slave away for years until you can afford to come back to where you are at right now.
      Jesus Christ, I really am fricked, aren't I?
      > People would kill to be where you are right now.
      Well, now I feel guilty over wasting my chances.

      Oh, if you're a humanities and art major you'll probably have some corp that works with the university doing design of some sort. Usually they also have job services at the university to help graduates get jobs. It's in their self interest to show off their graduates are employed also if you get your PhD you can adjunct. The pay is garbage, but having experience teaching opens up opportunities.
      Also, people miscalculate loans. They think "oh, instead of spending that money on a college degree, I could have bought a house" this is a miscalculation. Banks are willing to give loans to college students for school. They are not so willing to give you a loan to buy a house. So you never had that opportunity in the first place.

      It's not really an art college, more of an art history. All I do is investigate and write, I don't have practical skills. I wish.

      It's how it works in the US, but likely elsewhere from legitimate universities. Universities are graded world wide and so universities want those high scores, hence why they do things like this. Talk to your professors about where to work and the front desk.

      I'll have to talk to my professor, he's a cool guy. He told me to wait until next year and keep at writing, because I could get in. But this year is kind of a loss after missing out on that big scholarship. Maybe I should bring up these concerns with him.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, I would talk with him, also if you got an old lady at the front desk. Literally ask her, she usually is the person who knows how everything works in intimate detail.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I should to there and poke around as well. Thank you for the advice.

          You don't need classmates, just being on campus is good enough, you just need excuse as to why you are there like you came to library you need in your studies and you chat someone up asking them what is their major or what class they are waiting for then make conversation about their experiences.
          >That's what I'm afraid of, but my degree offered zero internships
          Most degrees don't do that, it's pretty much always personal responsibility of students, but again no one really tells you that, university doesn't have much hand holding.
          You can try finding an internship via whatever job portal is popular in your country or you can search if your uni has internship website of their own, most larger unis do.
          >Jesus Christ, I really am fricked, aren't I?
          No you're not. At absolute worst you're a few years behind, who cares, it all evens out in the end. You're gonna work for multiple decades, after 20 years no one will care or remember you started working at 26 instead of 24 or 22, it's all the same. And with how demographics are going you're not gonna retire at all. Anyway it doesn't matter.
          But you should focus on staying in uni until you get all the hook ups, sex and relationships out of your system since that aspect is gonna be impossible to experience past uni, unless you have sufficiently large social circles that can keep consistently introducing new women for you to meet. Social circles out of uni are pretty worthless anyway since as women marry or get into long relationships your chances to ever have a date will dissapear too. Uni is paradise, so don't ever try to leave it until you know for a fact you're ready to never have sex or speak to a woman until you come back there.

          >you chat someone up asking them what is their major or what class they are waiting for then make conversation about their experiences.
          I suppose I will regret it later on, even if right now I don't feel capable or willing to talk to people.
          >it's pretty much always personal responsibility of students,
          Yeah, that's my problem. I'm always being hand-held because I have so little self-awareness and initiative to initiate any change. It's a deep seated problem with me.
          >And with how demographics are going you're not gonna retire at all
          Yeah, I figured.
          >unless you have sufficiently large social circles that can keep consistently introducing new women for you to meet.
          I have a few friends who are kind of desperate for me to get with a woman, I think they would help me if I asked them directly. They tried to introduce me once but it didn't work out, and most of their girlfriends have no single friends. But at least there's a chance.
          >Uni is paradise, so don't ever try to leave it until you know for a fact you're ready to never have sex or speak to a woman until you come back there.
          That's both reassuring and depressing. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to help me.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Don't listen to him, he's a doomer. Get your friends to take you out, and don't worry about introductions. You just need a group of people to go out with so you can become a regular at places where you can meet girls. Otherwise it can be nerve racking but is still worth doing. Every night you stay home is another girl you will never meet. If I did what you are doing I would never have met my wife and my child would not exist. Go out.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You don't need classmates, just being on campus is good enough, you just need excuse as to why you are there like you came to library you need in your studies and you chat someone up asking them what is their major or what class they are waiting for then make conversation about their experiences.
        >That's what I'm afraid of, but my degree offered zero internships
        Most degrees don't do that, it's pretty much always personal responsibility of students, but again no one really tells you that, university doesn't have much hand holding.
        You can try finding an internship via whatever job portal is popular in your country or you can search if your uni has internship website of their own, most larger unis do.
        >Jesus Christ, I really am fricked, aren't I?
        No you're not. At absolute worst you're a few years behind, who cares, it all evens out in the end. You're gonna work for multiple decades, after 20 years no one will care or remember you started working at 26 instead of 24 or 22, it's all the same. And with how demographics are going you're not gonna retire at all. Anyway it doesn't matter.
        But you should focus on staying in uni until you get all the hook ups, sex and relationships out of your system since that aspect is gonna be impossible to experience past uni, unless you have sufficiently large social circles that can keep consistently introducing new women for you to meet. Social circles out of uni are pretty worthless anyway since as women marry or get into long relationships your chances to ever have a date will dissapear too. Uni is paradise, so don't ever try to leave it until you know for a fact you're ready to never have sex or speak to a woman until you come back there.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Times are tough man, if you can't leverage your degree for a good job, then just start looking at what the normies who never left your hometown do for a living, and try to pick something that fits for you until you decide to move onto other things. Make it easier on yourself, tackle your financial problems now. I spent a good chunk of my adult life going to school which forced me to rely on bad family members for finances, and that did me no good, there were several times they'd cut funding to me and I didn't know where I would live, I had to couch surf. Just get a job, it's just for now dude, no shame in taking something less than what you are worth for a little. A lot of people had to do that during the recession.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're right. I feel like an butthole feeling sorry for myself when there are people who have it way worse. For example, I'm in good terms with my family and they are being exceedingly patient with me. Most of the people my age I know are either in school still, or working respectable jobs, just last night I shared a beer with an archaeologist and and helicopter repairman, and they were talking about how and when to buy a home for themselves while I just sat there knowing that tomorrow would be the same as today. Anyway, thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        np dude

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