I'm thinking about killing myself, because I am a virgin at age 25, and I got nothing to live for.

I'm thinking about killing myself, because I am a virgin at age 25, and I got nothing to live for. Like for real, I will never get a woman, and I am too afraid of life and mentally unwell, to ever have a happy life. I am thinking about jumping in front of a train or something. I just want the voices in my head to quiet down. They are telling me every day that I suck, and that the only way to find peace is to end it all. I just want peace and quiet, because being alive is so overwhelmingly horrible. There is nothing in this world worth living for.

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >> I'm thinking about killing myself

    Why haven't you done it? Why are you here posting instead of doing it? People who really want to kts don't throw up banners talking about it, they just get on with doing it.

    So why are you alive? What do you get out of bed for? There's clearly something going on in your life keeping you alive. So what is it?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm a coward by nature. And it's less about me wanting to do it, and more about my brain suggesting that it's an option. Every day my brain tells me to end it all. I don't want to do it, but every day I see less hope and less light. It just seems like the only way forward.
      What keeps me getting out of bed? Not really sure. I barely leave my bed. I eat, drink alcohol, watch entertainment and try my best to stop the voices in my head. And every time I try to go to sleep, the voices tell me that life is to scary to actually live, and that the pain goes away once I end it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Let me ask you again because you didn't answer my question. Why are you still alive?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Haven't worked up the right moment to do it yet. I almost died earlier this year, when I was out drifting on ice roads with my friend. He wrapped the car around a tree so bad, that it was declared scrap metal on the spot. And I got off with a brusie or two. He was happy to be alive, but after that, I became fully deeply suicidal. I felt like the perfect opportunity to cease to exist had passed me by. Maybe it's because I have a lot of empathy, that I want to perish in a way that doesn't make my family sad. Those two faced fricks love me and care about me. But only when it suits them. I hate my family so much, but I do understand what I would put them through. Then again one of my friends died of drugs just recently and his loving family got over it in 3 months.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You're dancing all around the question and refusing to answer it. Last time I'm going to bother trying. Why are you still alive?

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    K keep me posted

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    please dont have a nice day OP.
    people want to see you here alive

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know what the meaning of life is, but it's definitely not sex anon

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Life has no actual meaning. I'm stuck being born wrong (autistic). I'm a fat frick, who can't get a girl. I'm stuck living in a piece of shit country, boarding Russia and all they do is talk about shit kicking off really soon. So aside from being a fat autistic frick, who can't help it because the brain was literally built wrong from the get go, I also don't have a future becuase the world is going to shit. And I can't even hire a hooker, because I am too afraid of human interaction, due to the pandemic locking me down for two years, and my mental health taking an even worse hit from that. I want sex more than anything in life, but it's like winning the lottery or going to space. You can dream about it, but it won't happen. Not to you anyway. It's impossible to get, and my brain tells me that I should kill myself, because I will never measure up to an actual human being. That I will always be something less. A sad mistake, a frick up, that nobody will take responsibility for.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You could channel this into art OP. I'm always jealous of native russian speakers, its like you have perfect beautiful melancholia in your veins

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I tired being a writer, but I was just a hack.

          the disappointment you will face when you realize how mundane sex is will kill you more than all of this preoccupying and worrying
          Anyways man, work out, go to clubs, go to group classes, work on your social skills and see a therapist
          If you reaaaalllyyyyy want sex you can get a hooker any day, and it’ll be better sex than most women, and you know that, but you haven’t done so because you yearn a deep emotional connection with somebody, but to do that you need to be someone worth having a deep personal connection with first 🙂 so take it or leave it, work on yourself or stop worrying about it

          I can't imagine sex being mundane. It's literally what we human are built for. Frick and pass on DNA.
          >Anyways man, work out, go to clubs, go to group classes, work on your social skills and see a therapist
          Not an option for someone who starts sweating and nervously trembling at the idea of talking to strangers. And my psychiatrist doesn't really care.
          >If you reaaaalllyyyyy want sex you can get a hooker any day
          My sister shut that idea down because I let her in on the fact that I can't use condoms. They make me impotent. Putting a condom on, makes me lose my erection right away. And she refused to help me get a hooker because she won't play a part in me getting incurable Stds.
          >you yearn a deep emotional connection with somebody
          I have already given up on that. There are some perfect women online, but they will never be mine. And I can't really for an emotional connection with the women here. All they care about is where you work, what car you drive, and how big your apartment is. Very practical women, but also too intimidating for me.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            My friend you can always use viagra and stds are relatively uncommon and hard to transmit when you wear a condom with a hooker 🙂
            You are building excuses to any and every solution to your problems no matter what they are, so there is no point in helping you.
            You either stop making excuses and take control of your life or you die like a dog and waste your life away

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm not building excuses, these are my problems. Clearly I wouldn't be on NSFFW complain about this, if I could overcome all of this. And I have tried. Many times. And I always fail, because my goddamn brain was built wrong.

            Imagine being this pathetic just because you don't get pussy. You know for thousands of years virginity was much more respected but it's only in recent times everyone has started to act like a bunch of degenerate prostitutes right? Not to mention contraceptives didn't exist back then so you can't just have sex everyday. Go hire s prostitute moron.
            >B-but not real love wahhh!!!
            homosexual

            t. 23 year old virgin that isn't a little b***h like you

            >You know for thousands of years virginity was much more respected but it's only in recent times everyone has started to act like a bunch of degenerate prostitutes right?
            I don't care about that, or what other people feel on the subject of virginity or not virginity. All I care about is the fact that I feel all the lust, but I am too mentally unwell to talk to women. Hiring a protistute means actually talking to one right? I can't get that far, without a panic attack.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Look man, there are solutions to your problems but you won’t even attempt them because in your brain there is an even bigger roadblock preventing you from even trying them.
            So no, you aren’t failing because your brain is “built wrong” but because you lack maturity and discipline.
            Let’s start with obvious problems! You’re fat! What is preventing you from dieting? It isn’t expensive, it doesn’t require you to talk to women, it won’t kill you, you can do it and get in better shape, count your calories, track your weight, do exercise at home, go for a run outside. Have you tried any of this? Why did you fail at doing so? Why can’t you stick to a regimen?
            Other problem, your psychiatrist sucks, get a different one, I’m not sure how healthcare works in Russia but I’m sure you can ask for a change in doctors.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        the disappointment you will face when you realize how mundane sex is will kill you more than all of this preoccupying and worrying
        Anyways man, work out, go to clubs, go to group classes, work on your social skills and see a therapist
        If you reaaaalllyyyyy want sex you can get a hooker any day, and it’ll be better sex than most women, and you know that, but you haven’t done so because you yearn a deep emotional connection with somebody, but to do that you need to be someone worth having a deep personal connection with first 🙂 so take it or leave it, work on yourself or stop worrying about it

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        two things I have to say to you:
        1. hedonist treadmill: sex only seems important to you because you can't have it, once you have it you will start to see it as more and more boring, and if you have sex all the time you're gonna see it the same way you see video games, fun but nothing special.
        2. it seems like most of your problems would be solved if you took an antidepressant that kills your libido. not only would you have more serotonin but you would also stop caring about the thing that's causing most of your suffering

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    do you have a job? do you have friends? do you have an education/are in education? do you have a decent family? do you enjoy anything? are you good at anything?
    important questions

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >do you have a job?
      I'm on disability pension for autism
      >do you have friends?
      A couple of guy friends, who are all busy with irl, and who barely share any interests with me.
      >do you have an education/are in education?
      12 grades, and I grew up in a very well educated family.
      >do you have a decent family?
      Short answer yes. Highly educated family, but also my dad hates me for not being his idea of a man. I have a brother who was straight up moronic, and my dad quite often told me that my brother is his favorite son. So yeah, I was never abused or didn't have to grow up in a bad household, but everyone was being difficult in their own ways.
      >do you enjoy anything?
      Watching entertainment, alcohol, jacking off, meeting with my friend, food.
      >are you good at anything?
      Talentless hack at everything I try.

      You're dancing all around the question and refusing to answer it. Last time I'm going to bother trying. Why are you still alive?

      I don't know. My both answers had some ideas why I am still alive, but I can't tell the exact reason. Still just a bit too afraid to jump I guess. Maybe I made this thread to get pissed and shit on, since NSFFW is honest about these things. Every irl person I have told about my suicidal feelings, has told me to shut up and keep it to myself (including my psychiatrist), and every online forum and stuff has said the same meaningless slogans "life will always get better", "we are all here for a reason", "you are special and you matter." you know, lies and bullshit. I don't actually have a real reason to be alive. Like an actual reason I can name.

      You're just a drama queen. Do it or shut the frick up. You're 25, you just started living, there is so much to.do, to see, to learn, stop being a homosexual.

      >You're 25
      And mentally ill. Big difference. Normal people have things to live for, things to learn and such. Sick people like me are a joke.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        And yet you are still alive, and continue living into the future. So you aren't being honest with me or yourself. Instead of telling everyone in the world about your attention seeking bullshit, spend some time alone sitting in your feelings and considering why you're still alive.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This isn't attention seeking. I would never put those close to me through that for attention. Fact is that I spend all day every day isolated, in my feelings and self hate and fear. And I get suicidal thoughts every hour of every day. And every time I try to get help, the people round me shame me for being unwell. The suicidal thoughts are real, they are here, and they are constantly telling me to do it, every hour of every day, for months and months.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            And yet you are alive and have been the entire time...

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're just a drama queen. Do it or shut the frick up. You're 25, you just started living, there is so much to.do, to see, to learn, stop being a homosexual.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >movies begin towards the end of the first act
      people start living 9 months before they are born, anon.
      Don't trivialize OP for being scared shitless SO callously. Worlds scary mang
      The good news is itll be there every day waiting for you to conquer it.
      Go find and subsequently climb your Mt. Lady, anon. I believe in you

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    anon please think positive
    Things get better
    Trust God Bro
    It will be ok, I promise 🙂

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine being this pathetic just because you don't get pussy. You know for thousands of years virginity was much more respected but it's only in recent times everyone has started to act like a bunch of degenerate prostitutes right? Not to mention contraceptives didn't exist back then so you can't just have sex everyday. Go hire s prostitute moron.
    >B-but not real love wahhh!!!
    homosexual

    t. 23 year old virgin that isn't a little b***h like you

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If it makes you feel any better I would give anything to be 25 again. 32 now and spent a lot of my twenties wishing things were different too. In retrospect it was a huge waste of time. Everybody struggles, it sucks but it’s going to be alright. Life is alright, sit back and enjoy the freak show with the rest of us.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Freak show is putting it mildly. Covid + huge inflation + threat of imminent nuclear war, makes it very hard to look forward to something. Back in 2019, the future was a mystery. Now it's just misery.

      Look man, there are solutions to your problems but you won’t even attempt them because in your brain there is an even bigger roadblock preventing you from even trying them.
      So no, you aren’t failing because your brain is “built wrong” but because you lack maturity and discipline.
      Let’s start with obvious problems! You’re fat! What is preventing you from dieting? It isn’t expensive, it doesn’t require you to talk to women, it won’t kill you, you can do it and get in better shape, count your calories, track your weight, do exercise at home, go for a run outside. Have you tried any of this? Why did you fail at doing so? Why can’t you stick to a regimen?
      Other problem, your psychiatrist sucks, get a different one, I’m not sure how healthcare works in Russia but I’m sure you can ask for a change in doctors.

      >you won’t even attempt them because in your brain there is an even bigger roadblock preventing you from even trying them.
      That's kinda the issue. I have tried a lot of things, and I fail at every attempt to improve myself.
      >but because you lack maturity and discipline.
      That's literally in the description for autism.
      >What is preventing you from dieting?
      I have tried it multiple times but it's impossible for me to be consistent, and food makes the sadness go away.
      I have also tried going to gym or working out on my own for the last 10 years. Every attempt ends up in me getting sick, side tracked, failing and gaining more weight than I lost. You try keeping up the optimistic spirit, when you have had a row of only failures since 2014.
      >I’m not sure how healthcare works in Russia but I’m sure you can ask for a change in doctors.
      Not Russia, eastern Europe, on the border of Russia. And every shrink I have had so far, had given me the same textbook non answers that you can get from quora or something. And now I can't event take meds, because I broke my 10 year sobriety streak recently, because I need to be slightly drunk every day, to make it through it. And the last time I took meds while being sober, I became a complete drooling vegetable until I quit them.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >look forward to something
        That’s the problem, looking forward is ultimately pointless. Try to be in the moment and be thankful for what you’ve got. Yes, the world is fricked but at least you and I have the pleasure of shitposting about it on this basket weaving forum together. We’re all in it together, better not quit on us.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not op but also 25 and passively suicidal. It was nice reading this. What changes did you make in your life to get that mindset? Did you find new hobbies and get out of your comfort zone like most people are suggesting?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        nta but also in 30s spent the last 10 years feeling bad for myself
        Literally nailed it with hobbies. Turns out when you dedicate yourself to learn something new you have stuff to talk about with people. They seem less like normies who ignore you or look at you with contempt and more like potential friends.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          thx 30s anon, I'll take another look and see if there are any hobbies I can get into

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I relate with a lot of what you said OP. That said I'm doing nothing but playing osrs and watching anime all day so my brain is rotting and not in the right place to say anything worthwhile to you. You aren't alone though, I guess. Good luck

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It'll pass, dude. Impulsivity is a good indicator of lack of discipline.
    You'd miss the voices if they left you too

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I am also a 25 year old virgin OP, but even when I'm at the end of rope, just count up the little things and few people you have in your life before concluding life's too miserable to keep going, that's what I do. Search for some hobbies, find some goals, discover a passion. Whenever I wake up without feeling like doing anything, I think about how much I'll regret dying without finishing what's important to me.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >afraid of life
    >but not afraid of death
    I will never understand the modern western male. If you are not afraid of death, what then in life is there to fear? Go wild. Do whatever you will. A life without fear of death is a life without consequences.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Every day is a victory, anon. You are still here like some kind of wienerroach. Embrace that shit. Promise God that you'll get your way every chance you get. Let you not die but let your limitation die. Someone else is feeling what you are feeling too. If you can't live for you right now, please live for us. Your future is secure now make sure the next thing you do makes you feel good right now!
    >They are going to say what they are going to say but I'm gonna do something to make sure I feel good right now
    >I have found the oasis in the desert

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I am thinking about jumping in front of a train
    have a nice day if you want to, but not like that. Train companies keep psychiatrists on contract to work with drivers traumatized by being forced against their will to be murderers, accessories in some stupid selfish idiot's self-indulgence

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well, maybe.

      two things I have to say to you:
      1. hedonist treadmill: sex only seems important to you because you can't have it, once you have it you will start to see it as more and more boring, and if you have sex all the time you're gonna see it the same way you see video games, fun but nothing special.
      2. it seems like most of your problems would be solved if you took an antidepressant that kills your libido. not only would you have more serotonin but you would also stop caring about the thing that's causing most of your suffering

      >once you have it you will start to see it as more and more boring
      See I wouldn't know that, now would I? Maybe I would love it like I love the 5 video games that I keep replaying over and over again?
      >it seems like most of your problems would be solved if you took an antidepressant that kills your libido.
      Chemically castrating myself seems worse than suicide imo. And there is no world where I would stop caring about getting laid. It has all the importance to me in the world, and being unable to do it, is hell. So how is making myself even more unable to do it, gonna fix me?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >there is no world where I would stop caring about getting laid. It has all the importance to me in the world
        bro... you're aware that your libido will keep decreasing nonstop with age, right? how can the most important thing in the world be something that half of the world population is too old to even enjoy? your priorities are not sustainable and are causing you unnecessary suffering. even a gigachad would be miserable if he treated sex like the most important thing in the world to him

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I’m not OP I’m another poster and my libido has been nuked from self medicating and I still dream and think about my fantasy with a white female constantly. I think about it all the time even when I’m sick. I’ve been thinking about it since I was 13.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          When you get old, you don't feel like enjoying a lot of things. What about it? I live in the now, and right now I am suffering from the lack of human intimacy.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    don't anon,
    hellfire awaits, and what an evil place to rest it is

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Even though I had many women throughout my life I am now 39 and alone.

    I have no woman, I have no house, I have no friends, I have no money and live paycheck to paycheck. When will it be my turn to be on top bros? I'm tired of the grind, I'm tired of this life, just very very tired that's all.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Even though I had many women throughout my life I am now 39 and alone.
      >I have no woman, I have no house, I have no friends, I have no money and live paycheck to paycheck. When will it be my turn to be on top bros?
      read that again and slowly please
      kek

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Im 30, white and a virgin. Doesn’t matter if you get hobbies because nobody gives a shit and people that have sex don’t have hobbies. I tried asking around at work and nobody who gets laid has a hobby. There is no point in living if you can’t spend time with a beautiful woman. Suicide is the only option for us.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Stop browsing imageboards and social media, they obviously did a number on your brain. But you'll obviously keep using them because you're a fricking mongoloid.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I need constant flow of information, to keep the bad thoughts at play.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >you should have a nice day, because you're a virgin at age 25, and you have nothing to live for. like for real, you will never get a woman, and you are too afraid of life and mentally unwell, to ever have a happy life. you should jump in front of a train or something.
    OP is aimed at the people on /adv/, his wording makes no sense towards himself, it is aimed at you.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >his wording makes no sense towards himself
      Why not?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Just a hunch.

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