Incongruent sleep and libido with gf

I’m a 28 year old firefighter. My gf is 26, she’s a nurse. We’ve had some issues prior because my libido is higher. Ultimately I decided to just stop whining and jerk off before bed or run more. Thing is, now I’m starting to have episodes where I’m restless in bed and it’s waking her up. Originally she said she didn’t want to frick me beacuse she didn’t want to feel like “an object or tool for you to use when you’re stressed or need to rest”. Now, she’s saying she’d rather frick me than have me keep her up. I’m autistic so this kinda doesn’t make sense to me, why was it bad for me to ask when I needed a shag to sleep but now it’s fine when she’s loosing sleep over it? I don’t know bros. I’m used to staying up so I’m not really bothered. Been overall just doing my thing. Anyway, some solutions I figured are sleeping on the floor or zapping my libido with an SSRI. Any other actionable solutions? Don’t suggest divorce or whatever, too expensive. Thanks

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    is she gf or wife? your post is contradictory. either way divorce or cheat

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wife sorry. Newly wed first few months
      Divorce is out of the option. Her parents are rich. Daddy said he’d take me down lmao.

      Cheating is too risky. I’d never put my trust into a woman like that

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    two options:
    rape her or have kids

    raping her gets your urges out
    kids would wear you down to the point your libido evaporates

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Rizz is so terrible his wife doesn't want to frick him because it feels like he's using her as a cum rag
    >She agrees to frick him after seeing how down bad he is 24/7
    >He now complains about her waiting to frick hin because that purportedly doesn't make sense
    >He says divorce is too expensive

    Where I'm from firefighter is a volunteer job.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Idk why people in sex-focused relationships have issues when it comes to sex. You guys are married, too? Did this never come up?

    First and foremost, a person can say no to sex. You also have this power to say no to sex if you choose. Guilt free.

    The person with higher libido runs the risk of unwilling or coerced consent with the lower libido person, which is very dangerous. It basically comes down to if the person consenting fears the consequences of saying no or not.

    Do you guys have proof that your restlessness is caused by lack of sex? Is there something else, maybe not activity related, that could be affecting things?

    Essentially you guys have a polyrhythm issue. It's not about lowering your libido to her level or raising hers. It's more of an alignment of rhythms so that you guys line up at certain intervals.

    Also have you learned what gets her in the mood? Does she even like or want sex? What does she get out of sex, and is that something you can provide?

    >she didn’t want to feel like “an object or tool for you to use when you’re stressed or need to rest”
    My guy, the answer is right there. She's spelling it out for you. Have you tried indulging her request? Maybe get romantic one time and pull out all the stops, take your time, put on some music. Show that you care about her, and rather than making it more about yourself, why not convert it into an activity you both enjoy?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      ^^^^^
      Im sorry you have blue balls but if your an butthole about it yeah man your not getting pussy. Another piece of advice is just taking everything off the table. Saying that sex is off the table for a couple of weeks, because, she might feel like every time you give her a kiss or a hug, that you want to frick her. So she feels the pressure of having to deal with your shit constantly, espically if your waking her up like a child in the middle of the night for her - that doesnt do anything for a good sex life. So, by taking it completely off the table, she can be less stressed out about it. If she's your wife, She loves you in some capacity and will come out of it. And maybe talk to your wife before NSFFW????? Jesus frick

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sorry, I don't take advice from someone who doesn't know the difference between your and you're

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is probably not what you want to hear but she's likely not attracted to you anymore. There's very little you can do.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Woman marries.
      >suddenly loses all desire for sex...
      Why is this?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's because they think that you're not going anywhere. Women typically start pulling back when they're of the (wrong) mind that they don't have to try anymore

        In my personal experience, simply talking about some other ex from your past and how wild it was that they could pick a lock with their tongue, so to speak, suddenly makes the woman perceive a non existent threat as something to be defeated (even of its just the memory of another girl)

        Have I used this to get what I want? Yes. Is it manipulative? Yes, but I'll settle for nothing less than a bj a day minimum and all holes available to me as I'd like. Besides, women get off on having their sexual ego stroked just as much as men do.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Men usually let themselves go too. Both sides need to want to have sex. If your want turns into a landwhale after marriage likely you'll stop wanting to have sex with her too.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Woman marries.
        >suddenly loses all desire for sex...
        Why is this?

        It's because they think that you're not going anywhere. Women typically start pulling back when they're of the (wrong) mind that they don't have to try anymore

        In my personal experience, simply talking about some other ex from your past and how wild it was that they could pick a lock with their tongue, so to speak, suddenly makes the woman perceive a non existent threat as something to be defeated (even of its just the memory of another girl)

        Have I used this to get what I want? Yes. Is it manipulative? Yes, but I'll settle for nothing less than a bj a day minimum and all holes available to me as I'd like. Besides, women get off on having their sexual ego stroked just as much as men do.

        >It's because they think that you're not going anywhere.

        Men usually let themselves go too. Both sides need to want to have sex. If your want turns into a landwhale after marriage likely you'll stop wanting to have sex with her too.

        >Men usually let themselves go too.
        It can be both or either. Since she thinks you don't have options, she'll care less. If you become a doughy frick, she'll care less. Both? It's over.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Was her libido always that low compared to yours? If not, she's trying to use sex as a weapon against you to force compliance.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Here's a wild and crazy idea - talk to her about it.

    In a calm moment, with both your clothes on, just say "I love you, I often want to make love to you, but I can't tell when you are in the mood."

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If you gotta ask that question of your WIFE, then you already know she's getting it somewhere else.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Look through her phone, she’s a nurse, probably cheating, that’s why she doesn’t want sex with you all of a sudden. It’s probably one of the doctors or male nurses at the hospital. Tale old as time.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i hate to say this but i fricked an engaged nurse, the stereotype seems to be true

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I heard medical and airline employees are by far the most likely to cheat. Not sure how true that actually is

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >didn't want to feel like an object or tool for you to use when you’re stressed or need to rest
    >I’m autistic

    This is the issue. you just need to show her more affection. it's very common for women to be hungry for tenderness, they kind of need to be babied a litlte

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i'm dating this girl and whenever she gets cold (constantly) i usually wrap her up in my jacket or a blanket if at home and say
      >you're a cold baby
      she says
      >i am a cold baby
      usually in a high pitched voice. it is amazing how much they need to be babied

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this sort of shit is why i broke up with my one and only girlfriend. it's just ridiculous.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You were only jealous because you can’t let yourself be vulnerable like that with anyone and it makes you irrationally upset.

          I think a relationship should be mutually tender and caring.

          i'm dating this girl and whenever she gets cold (constantly) i usually wrap her up in my jacket or a blanket if at home and say
          >you're a cold baby
          she says
          >i am a cold baby
          usually in a high pitched voice. it is amazing how much they need to be babied

          This is sweet and cute, this is precious and ideal and is a moment of this man showing care and women become more high pitched when experiencing attraction. There’s a silliness that expresses wonder and joy at such a simple action of care.

          The idea of needing to be hyper-serious and overly mature for adults is moronic. Being playful and silly and indulging in mutual care is sweet. Look at any old couple that enjoys being together after 50 years, they have great senses of humor and vulnerability between one another and do silly things that last a lifetime.

          Idk why people in sex-focused relationships have issues when it comes to sex. You guys are married, too? Did this never come up?

          First and foremost, a person can say no to sex. You also have this power to say no to sex if you choose. Guilt free.

          The person with higher libido runs the risk of unwilling or coerced consent with the lower libido person, which is very dangerous. It basically comes down to if the person consenting fears the consequences of saying no or not.

          Do you guys have proof that your restlessness is caused by lack of sex? Is there something else, maybe not activity related, that could be affecting things?

          Essentially you guys have a polyrhythm issue. It's not about lowering your libido to her level or raising hers. It's more of an alignment of rhythms so that you guys line up at certain intervals.

          Also have you learned what gets her in the mood? Does she even like or want sex? What does she get out of sex, and is that something you can provide?

          >she didn’t want to feel like “an object or tool for you to use when you’re stressed or need to rest”
          My guy, the answer is right there. She's spelling it out for you. Have you tried indulging her request? Maybe get romantic one time and pull out all the stops, take your time, put on some music. Show that you care about her, and rather than making it more about yourself, why not convert it into an activity you both enjoy?

          Most stable answer in the room.

          She’s probably feeling ashamed she can’t provide you with what you need due to her emotional insecurity. She may feel unsafe to be vulnerable with you. The repeated inability she felt to have sex and your responses lead me to believe you were very strong with your requests. That’s why she said she doesn’t want to just be an object for your desires.

          Take her out for an adventure she’s never done, but has always wanted to do. Look at her interests and hobbies and actively seek out her as a person. Don’t expect sex during this time. She will want to have sex with you, naturally, when you treat her like a person more than just your wife.

          I say this as a female struggling with a high libido, where my boyfriend is struggling with his libido. He’s perfectly kind and loving, but our sex life has tanked. Actually, reading your post made me realize I might have made him feel the same way your wife is feeling, he may feel too much pressure to have sex and that’s adversely affecting his ability and willingness to perform. Thanks OP.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >The idea of needing to be hyper-serious and overly mature for adults is moronic. Being playful and silly and indulging in mutual care is sweet. Look at any old couple that enjoys being together after 50 years, they have great senses of humor and vulnerability between one another and do silly things that last a lifetime.
            i wasn't complaining i like being silly/goofy with her we have fun batnz. and it's really cute when she gets all high pitched. we had a fight and i didn't see her this weekend and i missed her a lot.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    youre getting cucked

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >My gf is a nurse
    my condolences

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