Interfaith relationships, how do they work?

Subject says it all. I'm a live-and-let-live catholic guy in the beginning stages of dating with an evangelical lutheran girl. Personally, I think catholicism has a better structure over the petty synod squabbles, but I also don't agree with all papal decrees. I care more about the moral teachings than the delivery vehicle. Mostly, I'm worried she's going to see me as lacking in faith in preferring to not convert to lutheran.
Has this worked out for others?

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I mean even if she doesn't have issues. What about her friends and families?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I've recently asked her about that. My family is fine with it, waiting to hear back from her side.

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    OP are you waiting until marriage for sex?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kinda the goal, yeah. Maybe in the fiancee stage where everything is all but officially settled. She's expressed interest in having kids, so it's not like I'm making an uncertain gamble since I'd also like kids.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Your answer should be a definitive yes

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It sounds like it's not gonna work. You don't want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who is unhappy with your position and it will constantly bother her/she will try to convert you. I'm an atheist and don't care about religion one way or another, don't want to force my beliefs and don't want any forced on me, and I dated a girl who said religion wouldn't be an issue when we started dating, but she would constantly try to get me to go to church and pray and stuff and it annoyed the frick out of me because we agreed to leave each other alone at the start, and I kept my end of the agreement but she didn't keep hers. Try to find someone you agree with, or who also doesn't have any strong feelings, or you'll both suffer.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Try to find someone you agree with, or who also doesn't have any strong feelings, or you'll both suffer.
      Trust me, I'm trying. Problem is that most online dating in my neck of the woods has the extremes of (ir)religion. I live in a pretty liberal city, but also planted myself in a more evangelical catholic church out of coincidence since it was the closest.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I see youve seemed to gloss over

        Probably isnt gonna pan out at all how you think. Not sure how relationship experienced you are but whatever check boxes you think are important are wrong and whatever you think is gonna be an issue wont be and the make or break is gonna be dumb shit like do you throw k cups in the trash after youre done or leave them in the machine and who folds rhe laundry more (or at all) and do you scrape your fork on your teeth when you eat.
        Thats really what it comes down to. Your chemistry, and what bad habits you have and can tolerate and what bad habits your partner has and can tolerate.

        and

        Probably isnt gonna pan out at all how you think. Not sure how relationship experienced you are but whatever check boxes you think are important are wrong and whatever you think is gonna be an issue wont be and the make or break is gonna be dumb shit like do you throw k cups in the trash after youre done or leave them in the machine and who folds rhe laundry more (or at all) and do you scrape your fork on your teeth when you eat.
        Thats really what it comes down to. Your chemistry, and what bad habits you have and can tolerate and what bad habits your partner has and can tolerate.

        , which is fine, but, older fella with 3 long term relationships and a very happy marriage, Im telling you:

        You will rarely if ever talk about your religious beliefs. Its a trivial thing for a first date. You will however deal with each other for hours a day every single day and who you actually are. The way you talk, your humour, your habits, your emotional control, the way you actually interact, the way you approach conflict, your good habits, your bad.

        Stop worrying about your checklist and how much you *think* this slight difference in religion will matter. It wont. I am telling you. If you like her and its mutual, go for it.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          No, I read them. I was just at work and spending a suspicious amount of time on the shitter. Mostly asking because I've been shot down before by fellow catholics for not being devoted enough. She seems chill and we have a lot of interests in common, but she has said that a priority in her life is religion and stated up front that she has no plans of converting, not that I had any plans of trying.

          I'm Pentecostal, married to a Papist girl. There used to be some tension between us whenever I'd make pointed comments about antipopes or she'd start gushing over the inquisition. That's died down a bit lately as it turns out that antipopes aren't as much fun in real life as the history books made them out to be, and I've gotten a few guns in case they decide to start burning heretics as a distraction again.

          Okay

          Do christcucks really?

          Yes, mostly the hardcores. Personally, I could not give a shit as long as it's not one of those fruity tiktok denominations that blesses gay flags and celebrates abortion. But there are people who are wholly devoted to it. Not that eccentric when you stop to think that there are people out there dropping multiple thousands of dollars for trading cards, devoting their life to yoga zen, or following every second of sportball season.

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Probably isnt gonna pan out at all how you think. Not sure how relationship experienced you are but whatever check boxes you think are important are wrong and whatever you think is gonna be an issue wont be and the make or break is gonna be dumb shit like do you throw k cups in the trash after youre done or leave them in the machine and who folds rhe laundry more (or at all) and do you scrape your fork on your teeth when you eat.
    Thats really what it comes down to. Your chemistry, and what bad habits you have and can tolerate and what bad habits your partner has and can tolerate.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/RyGotla.jpg

      Subject says it all. I'm a live-and-let-live catholic guy in the beginning stages of dating with an evangelical lutheran girl. Personally, I think catholicism has a better structure over the petty synod squabbles, but I also don't agree with all papal decrees. I care more about the moral teachings than the delivery vehicle. Mostly, I'm worried she's going to see me as lacking in faith in preferring to not convert to lutheran.
      Has this worked out for others?

      Oh I guess I had to make a point..
      If you like each other you dont think about that shit and you try it out and she what happens.
      My only real advice on big things like that is you draw the boundary in cement fricking early. You straight up say "I dont care about that part of the religion" and youre clear it wont change. She can take it or leave it. If she takes it fine.
      That also goes both ways, if she makes any declarations of rock solid anchoring on an issue, you deal with it.

      But still, trust me, thats not gonna he the deciding factor in your relationship if it pans out. Its gonna be the sum of a thousand little things that decide how happy you'll be. And you'll never know what those are if you dont try.

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm Pentecostal, married to a Papist girl. There used to be some tension between us whenever I'd make pointed comments about antipopes or she'd start gushing over the inquisition. That's died down a bit lately as it turns out that antipopes aren't as much fun in real life as the history books made them out to be, and I've gotten a few guns in case they decide to start burning heretics as a distraction again.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Pentecostal self-labels as a heretic
      Yep sounds about right.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        might want to work on your reading comprehension, esl-kun.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          You're the one that doesn't even understand what you typed, Cletus

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >doubling down on stupid

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do christcucks really?

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They generally don’t work if either party takes their faith seriously. Just be upfront about your beliefs, values, and goals, but from the way you describe her, even if she tolerates your beliefs, she’ll definitely insist on raising your kids her way.

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    On the topic of interfaith, what if one is semi-religious and the other is an atheist. I'm an atheist, pretty damn moral relativist and child-free, but overall sorta conservative. Is it possible for me to date a lightly Christian girl, or will we not get along?

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They canwork if

    - you respect each other's faith
    - you don't try to convert each other
    - you agree on what to do with the children
    - you never use religion as a weapon in arguments

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      My parents are a "live-and-let-live catholic" and an atheist and they've been happily married for over 30 years. Basically what said is true.

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds wack a first. Aren't you breaking protocol here? Isn't the point of your relationship is to find favor? So, you make things more difficult, everyone is going HUH? Or maybe your love is so cute that God has no choice but to come through every time against all opps just run through their worlds and your worlds? Yeah that sounds more litty if she doesn't get all bored and is the type to read Proverbs 31 in her free time. Jesus is coming soon. We need to turn it up up. We don't need these casuals.

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It really depends on the mindset.
    In the best case you take genuine interest in each others' traditions and share. In the worst case you reject each other's tradition and it creates friction.

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