Is having a crush while in a relationship always a sign that the relationship is bad?

Is having a crush while in a relationship always a sign that the relationship is bad?

I have a crush rn, but I doubt I would ever cheat or anything like that, I love and respect my partner. Does that mean I should leave the relationship? I would say we basically act like a married couple, been together for many years. I think this crush first started maybe a year ago, and then I forgot about it, but nowadays it comes back sometimes since my partner often talks about my crush.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    idk I think if you're a guy its a chance to stray for sure. I would either avoid it altogether or breakup before cheating even if you just get back with her after you've legally had your fun as a single guy. At least that's what I did but uh yeah it can be kinda fricked up for a while.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'm a girl, I just didn't say it in the OP because I guess I wanted to avoid angry redpiller responses (somehow they never get angry when it's a man who has a crush while in a relationship, instead they are understanding).

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        forgot to mention, im trans btw

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          disregard that, i suck wieners

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Depends on … whether the relationship is actually bad. Getting to know other awesome people and crushing on them is pretty natural. Just because you're in a relationshit doesn't mean your brain completely switches off from other attractive people.

        As if "partner" didn't give that away.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >my partner often talks about my crush.
    only replying cuz you got trips
    but what the frick?
    why is he talking about your crush. are they friends or something? or is he constantly just bringing up some guy you crushed on in the past??

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      yeah they're friends. but more like the kind of friends who basically never see irl, and text once a month, but are still bros basically.
      I think I met the guy like 3 or 4 times when I was invited to hang out with the two of them. But we don't get along well anyway, whenever my boyfriend would leave the room it would just be a complete awkward silence.
      It's not an excuse of course but I'm not very experienced with guys and I get nervous easily around men I don't know well, I guess that nervousness somehow changed into a crush in this situation.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >But we don't get along well anyway, whenever my boyfriend would leave the room it would just be a complete awkward silence.
        not really sure if i understand then. you're crushing on him just because he's super hot? or what.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I wouldn't call him "super hot" since he's kinda short and a bit scrawny, but I admit his face is attractive, and based on all these stories I hear about him he does also sound cool.

          but honestly I find my bf attractive as well, it's not like I want to leave him just because of a crush. he's cool as well, and we have deeper emotions for each other than just having a crush.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I am in love with three different women and have crushes on another half dozen or so, and I am happily married. No way would I give my wife up for any of these b***hes except maybe one or two of them. She probably has a half dozen crushes also, good for her, she still worships the ground I walk on and if she wants to flit around it's hardly my concern as I've already done worse than she ever will, knock on wood.

    In answer to your question, no. Closing on 20 years, good times in bed, no drama if I stay out all night. She is my number one and vice versa. To be fair I don't have to worry too bad about who she sleeps with as she is both a racist and a lesbian.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I think no not necessarily
    I have a crush, and in theory I would want something with them, but in reality I know this would cause problems, and I am happy with my wife

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    how would you feel if you found out he has a crush on one of your friends or siblings, just a crush like nothing that will totally happen just an innocent crush like yours, would you be ok with that?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I've actually thought about this before and at first I thought that I would want him to leave me, but I guess eventually I started to think that it's okay to have a crush in a relationship as long as you're capable of focusing on your partner and your actual actions show that you are committed. I guess I just realized that it's very likely he had a small crush on a female friend before, but she moved away and I guess I forgot about it back then. it made me feel insecure, but I was still ok with being with him since I had no reason to distrust him, so the insecurity was only about a possible crush. and now I don't really consider it anymore.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        To me it comes down to risk assessment. There's nothing inherently wrong with having urges or temptations for something destructive. You wouldn't think someone is a bad/weak person for wanting to eat a whole cake or try heroine. If they had a complete lack of self control and engaged in harmful behaviors with little regard for the consequences, it'd be a different story.

        The difficulty and the reason it's problematic in the first place is the fact that other people and their actions are outside of your control. So probably don't think about your partner's propensity to be attracted to people outside of the relationship and don't give cause for them to think about it-- it's irreconcilable.

        https://i.imgur.com/12PS8rt.jpg

        Is having a crush while in a relationship always a sign that the relationship is bad?

        I have a crush rn, but I doubt I would ever cheat or anything like that, I love and respect my partner. Does that mean I should leave the relationship? I would say we basically act like a married couple, been together for many years. I think this crush first started maybe a year ago, and then I forgot about it, but nowadays it comes back sometimes since my partner often talks about my crush.

        >Is having a crush while in a relationship always a sign that the relationship is bad?
        I'd argue it's natural and uncontrollable. Being tempted to act on those inclinations would be concerning though. If you find yourself giving the thoughts more than subconscious consideration, there's probably an issue with the relationship or your readiness to be in one.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Is having a crush while in a relationship always a sign that the relationship is bad?
    Not at all. It is normal and means you are alive.

    It is also a test as to the quality of person you are.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >woman trying to break a brotherhood again because of muh feelings
    color me surprised

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >trying to break
      The opposite really

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