It feels like when it comes to unhappiness, my bf only cares to be supportive when it affects me enough to impact him.

It feels like when it comes to unhappiness, my bf only cares to be supportive when it affects me enough to impact him.
Like if I'm still getting home from work, doing his laundry, cleaning the apartment, and cooking dinner while miserable and I tell him I'm miserable? No support at all.

If I spend my day off just lying in bed too depressed to get up though, and he has dishes piling up or something then suddenly I become his priority and he can put down his games to see about me.

It's to the point that I've been throwing all my emotional baggage at a friend I made in FFXIV. He's a lot more supportive and has been telling me I should break up with my bf. Is he right?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    One of the handicaps of possessing a Y chromosome is that we men are TERRIBLE at reading non-verbal cues. You have to say, out loud and in simple declarative sentences, "I'm feeling...." or "I need...."

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I tell him and he just kind of brushes it off until it becomes a pronounced issue. I just don't want to have to be a drama queen any time I need my significant other to provide emotional support.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You live at your bf's like a leech, and some friendzoned cuck on a videogame is telling you to break up with BF? Couldn't have any other alternative motivations there...
    hmmmmmmmm real difficult choice... real difficult...

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      My bf and I share an apartment we split bills 50/50 for. But even though I pay as much as he does, all the housework still falls to me.

      I'm sorry, but he sounds like a manchild.
      >doesn't do dishes
      >neglects a relationship for games
      >emotionally under developed
      How's your sex life? I wonder if he's only in it for the sex.

      We have sex 3 times a week or he complains that he's feeling unloved. Its not very good.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Seems as though he wants more sex. You don't have to give it to him.
        Do you indulge in his hobbies or passions? Give that a try if you don't. If he has weird autistic hobbies, then he would be very happy to have someone close to him try it out.
        T: autistic hobby haver who gets excited when I get to show people my hobbie

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Listen to this one if you want to have a life of failed relationships.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        3 times is the bare minimum any less than this and you would be failing to do your most basic relationship duties...

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >But even though I pay as much as he does, all the housework still falls to me.
        as it should? Nestbuilding is female shit... You thought just because some feminist said something in the 70s that I'm going to start cooking and cleaning?! no!
        Just because women finally started pulling their weight around here...
        You think he's going to give birth to 50% of the kids too? what a fool you were.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Not OP but providing for the household is male shit. It's fine if he wants her to do all the chores, but then he should be the only one working outside of the house and paying bills. If he won't be a proper man and provide for the household, why does he deserve a proper woman to take care of the house? Any man who depends on a woman's income to make ends meet doesn't get to complain about what is and isn't a woman's job.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Any man who depends on a woman's income to make ends meet doesn't get to complain about what is and isn't a woman's job.
            that's not true, the man is simply expected to lead regardless of who makes more money.
            And yeah there's doble standards or whatever, life isn't fair.
            sucks to suck.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Stop making excuses for being a failure who can't even provide for a family. A man doesn't get to lead if he can't even provide for the person he's leading. A man who can't provide for his family off of his income alone is a failure of a man and doesn't deserve a woman to cook and clean for him.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Where you assuming I'm even dating??? I'm not, and also I'm 92nd percentile of Net worth for my age. I'd have no problem providing.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Couldn't have said it better.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm sorry, but he sounds like a manchild.
    >doesn't do dishes
    >neglects a relationship for games
    >emotionally under developed
    How's your sex life? I wonder if he's only in it for the sex.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Oh wow I can not tell if this is made up but I do believe the last paragraph to be true.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Like if I'm still getting home from work,
    If you're also working a job, why are you doing all the chores? Why is he complaining about dishes instead of washing them? It would be one thing if you stayed home while he worked. But if you're both working outside of the house, he can help with some of the chores at home, too. Of course you're burnt out if you're juggling all a job with all the household chores and no help. He either needs to help with some of the chores, or provide for both of you so you can quit your job and focus on the household. But he doesn't get to have the benefits of a housewife while still making you work outside the house.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You're not supposed to split 50/50 on anything. The man's role in a relationship is he takes care of the bills, food, protection & provisioning 100%. The woman's role is to stay loyal and never have sex or emotionally be involved with other men. 50/50 relationships do NOT work in the long-term. This is a relationship doomed to fail, but you should have gotten a higher value make to begin with. Women are always unhappy when the guy is not taking care of all the finances, while the guy is unhappy when the woman is not a virgin before they met.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You don't sound mentally stable enough for a relationship right now. He probably brushes it off because you make it his problem whenever you feed your depression. You've basically set an expectation that whenever you get too depressed you become a burden. I guarantee that when you do get the validation you're seeking for the way you feel, you don't use it to empower yourself to get through it, you use it to talk yourself into letting the void consume you with a lightened conscience. You should break up with him, not because he's a jerk or something, but because there's clearly a lot you don't understand about yourself. You need to spend some time single. My sister struggled with a nearly identical set of circumstances, and eventually her burden wore down her 10 year relationship. He eventually broke up with her, and didn't even leave her for another woman. Last I heard he was still single. He purely dumped her because he could only carry her weight for so long. She couldn't hold down a job, and kept randomly missing work and quitting out of the blue. She was constantly seeking reassurance that it was okay that she was struggling to hold down a job. And for years, it was. But she only ever made shallow attempts to reciprocate. She'd get a job long enough to say she gave it a real effort and then quit. They racked up a bunch of debt, and I imagine he's still picking up the pieces. I'm not even going to remark about this online friend of yours. Get your shit together. Either become a reliable partner or go be single so you can learn to rely on yourself. Your relationships will be much healthier when you don't constantly rely on your partner. Being able to rely on another is important in a relationship, but you can only play the "no matter what" card for so long. "No matter what" is for people that earn it. From the little information given in this post, it sounds like the emotional aspect of your relationship functions like a charity.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you weren't meant to be doing housewife stuff like cooking and cleaning then why does ur body produce milk and eggs

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Op eternally btfo

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      OP IS meant to be doing housewife stuff, the problem is her BF is also making her work a job on top of it. A good housewife doesn't leave the house or earn a wage, that's the man's job.

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