Ive been dating my boyfriend for like almost a year online. I really love him, and I know he loves me too, but like I feel like he doesnt want to be together as much as I do. Its a really shitty thing to think, but its hard not to. Im the one working a job trying to afford a place for us to move into together, but like he wont quit playing a game with his friends, and the schedule he keeps with them (ending his play times up to 4 am 4 times a week on weekdays) makes it so he cant quit his current job which pays an unlivable wage. The only reason he gets by is because he lives with people who cover him.
I dont want him to quit spending time with his friends, I think its good for him to have that time. But I dont want to continue feeling like im the only one taking moving in together seriously. I have zero social life. We get tot talk maybe like at most 3 hours a day together. Idk if thats a normal amount of time, but it feels like nothing. And with time zones it would be unfair to hold that against him, but he is up later than when I have to go to bed so I can wake up for work anyways. I know he loves me and he really does want to live together, but with his actions it feels like he isnt ready.
I dont want like all his time, I think he should be able to spend time with his friends cause thats really important. And when I get home he does make the effort to spend as much time as possible with me which I really do appreciate. But at the same time Im just annoyed he will commit to having a schedule that prevents him from having an adult paying job but says he wishes he could contribute to us getting a place together.
I respect him and his friends, and I push him to spend more time more time with them even if its during the few hours a day we can spend together. Hes not a bad or neglectful person at all. Atleast when it comes to positive emotions. But if I ever told him that I think he doesnt care to work hard enough to live together-