Lost my virginity- but now have more questions than answers

>Be 30-year old kissless virgin
>Went on a date
>In a bad headspace that day, so acted much more nonchalant, outcome-independent than usual
>I guess that made me seem more attractive, because at the end of the date, she goes “What are you doing after? Want to go to <nearby place>?”
>I say “sure I guess. Have nothing better to do”
>Go to place, have a fun time, then spontaneously go to more places.
>We end up having a night of adventure. Towardsthe end of the night she starts giving me “doe eyes”
>Asks if she can see my apartment to grab a drink
>I think: Oh damn, wait, I think she wants to have sex with me
>Say “Sure”. We walk to my place. Gets inside and she brushes her teeth and sits on my couch
>I sit down next to her to pour drinks, and as I’m doing so, I see in the corner of my eye that she scootches herself right into me
>I think: Oh damn, I think we’re actually going to have sex
> I finish pouring and turn to her
>Shes looking up at my eyes with her “doe eyes”
>I think: Oh shit I have no idea how to kiss a girl
>I look down at her
>She cranes her neck up and presses her lips into mine- luckily, she is initiating making out with me first because I wouldn’t have done it otherwise
>I feel for what is happening on my lips
>I think; Oh, okay, I get it- making out is just kind of like mimicking a fish gulping motion and sticking your tongue out occasionally

Easy enough- I start making out with her back. Great night so far.

But here’s where the problems start:

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Homeless People Are Sexy Shirt $21.68

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Do people really frick on the first date? I’ve never been able to pull that off

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      exfiance i lost khv to fricked date 1
      exgf never went all the way
      My current gf fricked date 2, date 1 if getting coffee and meeting briefly counts as date 0.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Where did you meet fiance? Was drinking involved because first date is so soon.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Of course they do.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Why? You shouldn't do that.

        My roommate and his now gf fricked before dating. There was a building event (live in university apartment for mainly grad students and seniors) and they fricked within 45 minutes of meeting. They've been together for a year now.

        This also seems like a terrible idea. Do people just no have self-respect?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      A lot of girls are just bored and horny. While us guys are physical, I think most girls want an emotional connection with a guy, which porn doesn’t give them.
      So they go on dating apps to satisfy their urges.
      If I had to guess, I’d say she wanted to have sex with me because I didn’t come off as desperate/needy and we had a wild night after the date.

      I’d say keep using dating apps, keep trying to trigger your dates emotions, and inevitably you’ll find yourself in a similar situation.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      My roommate and his now gf fricked before dating. There was a building event (live in university apartment for mainly grad students and seniors) and they fricked within 45 minutes of meeting. They've been together for a year now.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I get having sex but why would you DATE a bawd like that?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      depends on the girl.
      My girlfriend expected me to engage sex when I invited her in my house.
      I only invited her because she had a switch and was willing to play with me. I never, ever thought in a million years that some girl would ever want me.

      We got together a couple of weeks after that and she told me she was super turned off by the fact that I didn't initiate anything and she thought I really didn't find her attractive at all, despite her "standing on my bed clearly waiting for it to happen".

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Happened to me. It was fricking surreal.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      So you finally understood what "just be yourself" means. Better late than never.

      Yes.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Congrats, you went out with a bawd. You sure you didn’t catch anything?

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I’m making out for a minute, but it starts to feel too long and seems like it’s getting awkward.
    >I’m thinking we should start to do something else.
    >Physically, I was in the “dominant” position: my head is above hers, and my body is twisted to face hers. She’s basically just sitting back with her head tilted up while making out with me
    >So I figure it’s my responsibility in this position to move things forward
    >I realize my hands are doing nothing, so I reach my opposing arm across my and then her body, and rest it under her breasts caressing her ribs
    >This leads to problem #1 - my torso is now way too twisted and my center of gravity is thrown off, so I almost immediately start to lose my balance and fall into her.
    >I let go of her ribs and instead brace myself against the couch. Now I’m basically back to square 1 making out, except in a more awkward position.
    >Next I figure I can instead try to kiss her neck
    >I do, but I quickly realize she basically is doing nothing while I’m doing this.
    >I think: We’ll, it’s probably awkward for her just sit there doing nothing while I’m kissing her neck
    >So I go back to her lips, and I’m back at square 1 again
    >As I continue to make out, I am able to finally balance my body without falling into her
    >So I start to use my hand while while continuing to make out- I fondle her and rub her inner thigh
    >I also attempt to run my hand through the back of her hair/ press her face closer to mine, but it was too tangled/dense and I couldn’t really get my hands in it so I quickly give up
    >After another minute of making out, it again feels like it’s getting way way too awkward
    >I figure it’s time to escalate.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >> Meet girl
    >> Act normal
    >> Behave like normal person
    >> Get normal results

    Wow, what a surprise.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >NOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO SQUINT AND HAVE HUNTER EYES WHILE NEGGING THEM OR ELSE THEYLL LEAVE YOU FOR CHAD
      >TRUST ME BRO I MAY BE A VIRGIN BUT I KNOW ALL ABOUT HOW TO GET LAID

      >I’m making out for a minute, but it starts to feel too long and seems like it’s getting awkward.
      >I’m thinking we should start to do something else.
      >Physically, I was in the “dominant” position: my head is above hers, and my body is twisted to face hers. She’s basically just sitting back with her head tilted up while making out with me
      >So I figure it’s my responsibility in this position to move things forward
      >I realize my hands are doing nothing, so I reach my opposing arm across my and then her body, and rest it under her breasts caressing her ribs
      >This leads to problem #1 - my torso is now way too twisted and my center of gravity is thrown off, so I almost immediately start to lose my balance and fall into her.
      >I let go of her ribs and instead brace myself against the couch. Now I’m basically back to square 1 making out, except in a more awkward position.
      >Next I figure I can instead try to kiss her neck
      >I do, but I quickly realize she basically is doing nothing while I’m doing this.
      >I think: We’ll, it’s probably awkward for her just sit there doing nothing while I’m kissing her neck
      >So I go back to her lips, and I’m back at square 1 again
      >As I continue to make out, I am able to finally balance my body without falling into her
      >So I start to use my hand while while continuing to make out- I fondle her and rub her inner thigh
      >I also attempt to run my hand through the back of her hair/ press her face closer to mine, but it was too tangled/dense and I couldn’t really get my hands in it so I quickly give up
      >After another minute of making out, it again feels like it’s getting way way too awkward
      >I figure it’s time to escalate.

      >So i get up, hold her hand, and walk her into my bedroom.
      >On the walk over, there was another problem- awkward silence. I am normally chatty, but was too into my head, so I had no idea what to say
      >She sits down on the edge of my bed. I stand facing her,and we continue to make out
      >I really want to move past making out ASAP because it again feels like we’ve been kissing for far too long
      >I attempt to get up on the bed and straddle her, but again run into a balance issue and fall on top of her- she’s now lying down on the bed and I’m basically on top pinning her
      >I realize this isn’t a bad position to be in, so I just continue making out on top of her
      >I again have no idea what to do from here, so I just upright my torso while straddling her, and take off my shirt.
      She takes off her shirt as well.
      >I lean forward on top of her again, and through some miracle, manage to unstrap her bra while continuing to make out on top of her
      >We continue to make out topless, but again, for a time that feels far too long
      >I eventually get up and remove my pants and underwear, and help her do the same.
      >I roll my condom on, but realize I don’t have a boner yet so I needed to awkwardly jerk myself for a little bit to get hard
      >I rub her pussy, and it’s dripping wet, so I figure it’s time to go in
      >I think I should probably dirty talk here, but no words come to mind. So I just stick it in and do missionary for a couple of minutes until I come
      >It was kind of awkward after that as I again couldn’t think of anything to say

      She texted me the next day to say she had a good time but didn’t think we were compatible. Obviously, this was because of my poor sexual performance.

      So TL;DR- had my first kiss/sex, but it was awkward.

      Here’s what I still don’t understand:
      >For the ~5 minutes before penetration, it felt like I should be constantly needed to be making out. Was this the correct mindset? Because it felt like we were kissing for way too long. If we’re not kissing, what else am I supposed to be doing before penetration?
      >Constantly kissing made everything else twice as difficult. I was losing my balance and falling into her multiple times, and had trouble finding way around her hair
      >If I wasn’t kissing, it felt like what I should have been using my mouth to dirty talk. The problem is, I have no idea what I’d say

      Basically, what I was doing the whole time before penetration was kissing, fondling, rubbing, and taking off clothes. It felt like there was more I could be doing.

      Can any sex-havers give me tips/ or tell me if I’m off-base with my assumptions?

      No one is reading all this shit

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        "Just be yourself" only works if you already have an attractive mindset internalized. When I didn't, I wasn't getting results. What did "Just be yourself" look like for me a year ago:

        > Too afraid to talk to attractive girls because my ego was too big, and it needed to avoid the possibility of rejection to protect itself
        > Would always be a "nice guy" to girls who showed interest in me because I desperately wanted external validation
        > Like you, I was bitter at other men's success because I thought I knew better than them. Or I thought their success was due to factors outside my control

        These thoughts were "normal" to me, but I had to come to the realization that they were unattractive / not self-serving and discarded them. Now I have a new "normal" which is definitely more attractive / healthier, but it took work to change.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Nobody said just he yourself they said be normal you autistic moron

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            And how does one "be normal", you non-autistic genius? Do I have to work a 9-5, watch sports, and drink beer to have sex?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You have to be well socialized enough that you don’t make the people around you uncomfortable. Part of that is knowing your audience. Be normal.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >These thoughts were "normal" to me,
          Those were not "normal" thoughts though. I mean, they're normal in the sense that they're *common* among a lot of people (especially here), but the fact remains that that was all loser talk. When people told you to "be yourself" they meant don't be fake, not double-down on your worst thought patterns.
          You made it out to the other side (and nice job also, as I said earlier in this thread), but now with the benefit of hindsight you should be able to see what people were really trying to tell you.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >So i get up, hold her hand, and walk her into my bedroom.
    >On the walk over, there was another problem- awkward silence. I am normally chatty, but was too into my head, so I had no idea what to say
    >She sits down on the edge of my bed. I stand facing her,and we continue to make out
    >I really want to move past making out ASAP because it again feels like we’ve been kissing for far too long
    >I attempt to get up on the bed and straddle her, but again run into a balance issue and fall on top of her- she’s now lying down on the bed and I’m basically on top pinning her
    >I realize this isn’t a bad position to be in, so I just continue making out on top of her
    >I again have no idea what to do from here, so I just upright my torso while straddling her, and take off my shirt.
    She takes off her shirt as well.
    >I lean forward on top of her again, and through some miracle, manage to unstrap her bra while continuing to make out on top of her
    >We continue to make out topless, but again, for a time that feels far too long
    >I eventually get up and remove my pants and underwear, and help her do the same.
    >I roll my condom on, but realize I don’t have a boner yet so I needed to awkwardly jerk myself for a little bit to get hard
    >I rub her pussy, and it’s dripping wet, so I figure it’s time to go in
    >I think I should probably dirty talk here, but no words come to mind. So I just stick it in and do missionary for a couple of minutes until I come
    >It was kind of awkward after that as I again couldn’t think of anything to say

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      sounds like you did ok for the first time being a 30-year-old kv. Maybe you could've eaten her out a little if you came super quick.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I always had it in my mind that i'd never eat a girl out because I assumed there was a STD risk. But I just looked it up - apparently there's no STD I can get if she doesn't have a visible infection.

        Good to know. I'll research how to eat pussy, and will try it on the next girl

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I wouldn't do that on a one night stand bruh, that's gf shit. She has to earn that privilege.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I mean, if there's no risk to me, I don't see why I wouldn't.

            Having sex for the first time, I realized that the orgasm itself wasn't necessarily better than jerking off. But what was so much better about actual sex is the real-time feedback I got - hearing her moans, feeling her grool, pulling away slightly but she reaches back for me.

            Seems like eating pussy would be a great way to get a lot of the feedback that made sex a better experience than masturbation. I don't see girls as needing to "earn it" if it's mutually beneficial for me.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >I mean, if there's no risk to me, I don't see why I wouldn't.
            But there is. You can get throat or lip cancer from doing it.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            im

            sounds like you did ok for the first time being a 30-year-old kv. Maybe you could've eaten her out a little if you came super quick.

            If you enjoy those aspects of sex then eating a girl out will be a great experience. It's all of that intensified.

            If you figure out those sweet spots on her you get that feedback x100. Moaning / Screaming, her hips bucking into your face and her pulling your hair and pushing your head into her deeper. You can give her such an intense orgasm she blacks out for a few seconds and her whole body can convulse. And you're in complete control of how and when that happens. Tease her, edge her ever closer to cumming.

            t. pussy enjoyer

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >You can give her such an intense orgasm she blacks out for a few seconds and her whole body can convulse.
            Is this a cunniligus-only thing? I’m hesitant on trying it, but that sounds like a fun thing to induce in a partner.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            if you're really good at rubbing her clit maybe? But ive only done it while i was focused on the clit while a few fingers were rubbing the gspot applying a lil pressure.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I’ve been going down on prostitutes since 18, including licking their buttholes and i’m completely fine.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You can still get HPV that can lead to throat cancer, idiot. I saw a guy once with actual holes in his neck at the doctors office and it was one of the nastiest things I ever saw.

          There are various other mouth complications. Even neurological diseases from eating ass/pussy from strangers. Not just STDs

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I'm afraid of this. I've heard most sexually active people get it and clear it when they're young and they don't really care to offer the vax to people above like 23 or something because you probably were exposed to it through sex. Idk how to go to my doctor and ask for it and say I'm a 30yo wizard, but that's also optimistic that I'll have sex in the future anyway.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Maybe you could've eaten her out
        Don't do this. It causes throat cancer (through HPV)

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    She texted me the next day to say she had a good time but didn’t think we were compatible. Obviously, this was because of my poor sexual performance.

    So TL;DR- had my first kiss/sex, but it was awkward.

    Here’s what I still don’t understand:
    >For the ~5 minutes before penetration, it felt like I should be constantly needed to be making out. Was this the correct mindset? Because it felt like we were kissing for way too long. If we’re not kissing, what else am I supposed to be doing before penetration?
    >Constantly kissing made everything else twice as difficult. I was losing my balance and falling into her multiple times, and had trouble finding way around her hair
    >If I wasn’t kissing, it felt like what I should have been using my mouth to dirty talk. The problem is, I have no idea what I’d say

    Basically, what I was doing the whole time before penetration was kissing, fondling, rubbing, and taking off clothes. It felt like there was more I could be doing.

    Can any sex-havers give me tips/ or tell me if I’m off-base with my assumptions?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You did alright OP, especially for a 30 year old virgin. Your first time is always awkward no matter when it is or who you are. You got that monkey off your back, so good job.
      Every woman is a little different, so some will like certain things more/less than others. But yeah kissing, rubbing, fondling etc is all standard issue.

      >> Meet girl
      >> Act normal
      >> Behave like normal person
      >> Get normal results

      Wow, what a surprise.

      Kek, but also this. We tried to tell you OP.
      Good job anyway though.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not reading the rest of this shit but I'll answer these from my personal experience which is only one partner but we've been together a while
      >5 minutes before penetration
      This is foreplay sir, you kiss, you feel each other up, oral sex, fondle her breasts, tease her, maybe suck on her nipples. Do what feels fun and natural until you get better and more confident. This could also be a time to do kinky shit if you or your partner are into it
      >Losing balance
      Unironically do calisthenics and exercise your core. Getting better at sex requires some physical ability and endurance
      >Dirty talk
      This depends on you and the person. Some women like a little bit of degradation, calling her a bawd or a prostitute. Some women love being complimented, you feel so good or you're so sexy or I love you (in an actual relationship). Above all else though you need to be confident as you do it so just have some awkward flubs at first until you learn to not give a shit and it'll roll off the tongue more easily

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      One possible scenario for one type of woman:

      > kissing, fondling, rubbing
      + licking, nibbling, hugging, caressing, massaging, tickling, teasing, smelling, listening, appreciating, and breathing slowly

      Next time savor the entire experience like it's the only thing going on in the world, and imagine the woman in front of you is everything you've ever wanted. Allow yourself to get lost in the foreplay, and respond to this woman's reactions. Move and flow with her

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Obviously, this was because of my poor sexual performance.
      That's not obvious to me

      I'm afraid of this. I've heard most sexually active people get it and clear it when they're young and they don't really care to offer the vax to people above like 23 or something because you probably were exposed to it through sex. Idk how to go to my doctor and ask for it and say I'm a 30yo wizard, but that's also optimistic that I'll have sex in the future anyway.

      >I'm afraid of this
      I wouldn't be

      >Idk how to go to my doctor and ask for it and say I'm a 30yo wizard, but that's also optimistic that I'll have sex in the future anyway.
      Just tell them you want the vaccine.. Literally schedule the appointment for that

      Do people really frick on the first date? I’ve never been able to pull that off

      >Do people really frick on the first date?
      Dude, I wouldn't even go on a date with a girl unless I was already fricking her lol

      Why? You shouldn't do that.
      [...]
      This also seems like a terrible idea. Do people just no have self-respect?

      >This also seems like a terrible idea. Do people just no have self-respect?
      Why is that a terrible idea? And what does it have to do with self-respect?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You really should only be having sex with people you are for sure going to have a serious relationship with. Otherwise you ruin yourself.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Who says? Muhammad?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            No. Not muhammad. Just various scholar working in the field of sexual sociology and psychology. Does that help?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Does that help?
            Nope. Never heard anything like that before, which makes sense because there's no reason for that to be true

            Why would that matter? Or how would you ruin yourself?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Pair bonding. Having large amounts of sex in general is bad. It's a zero sum game essentially. People are too obsessed with sleeping around when that is not good for mental health. Help?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Large amounts of casual sex*

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Pair bonding
            Pair bonding is a meme, no one even used those words 5-10+ years ago. It's a crock of shit, basically

            >People are too obsessed with sleeping around when that is not good for mental health
            Why is that bad for mental health? And we aren't talking about people who are "obsessed" with sleeping around, we're talking about people who might have sex with someone without thinking they're going to have a serious relationship with that person

            >Help?
            Please?

            See
            https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-impact-of-casual-sex-on-mental-health-5179455#:~:text=What%20we%20can%20all%20agree,not%20well%2Dknown%20to%20you.

            >https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-impact-of-casual-sex-on-mental-health-5179455#:~:text=What%20we%20can%20all%20agree,not%20well%2Dknown%20to%20you.
            See picrel

            But seriously, that link doesn't even fricking say it's bad for you..?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            See
            https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-impact-of-casual-sex-on-mental-health-5179455#:~:text=What%20we%20can%20all%20agree,not%20well%2Dknown%20to%20you.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I don’t do penetration so soon, even if she’s really wet unless she wants to. It doesn’t matter if I’m hard or not in that moment because I’m pleasuring her.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Would it be worth telling this girl that it was your first time? Sounds like you really hit it off, she would probably be willing to have more patience about the sex stuff if she knew you were a virgin.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      She straight up told me she wasn't looking for something serious / long-term.

      She clearly just wanted a night of fun and adventure around the city and some wild passionate sex afterwards. I at least gave her the first part, but it was mostly through circumstance. I'm not normally a "wild and fun" kind of guy, so I wouldn't be able to consistently replicate this.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    your mistake was overthinking. it's supposed to be fun and spontaneous, ie kiss her for a minute or so, then stop and do something else fun. just sit facing each other on the couch, cross legged, and touch her arms or her butt for a minute, without kissing. then start kissing her again. keep on varying the action, but still proceeding towards sex. and then don't get off too quickly when you do have sex.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    your first time will never be enjoyable since you're just figuring out how to operate your equipment and hers as well so don't sweat it

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    T

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    H

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    And

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