Mother doesn't want me to look at Pornography.

I am 20, my mother (rightfully so) doesn't want me looking at pornography while I live in her house, how can I stop wanting to look at it? I thought about punching my crotch until it hurts too much and so I won't touch it. Either way, this has been a serious problem for me in the last few years, trying to text escorts (I got scammed once and never texted again) and I watch porn a lot, I recently got found out for subscribing to an onlyfans.

Well the next time I am seen wasting my energy or funds (which is rare, the latter, nowadays), I am out on my ear.

I need to stop jerking off, it's impacting my life greatly, I sap all my energy and desire to work on myself in any way, I am a disgrace to my bloodline...

If I don't give it up for good and get a girlfriend, or if I don't win the lottery in this year, I will have to get my penis removed. I can't stand myself ruining my life. Even when I couldn't jerk off, I somehow would watch porn for hours.

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    filipino anon

    >how can I stop wanting to look at it?
    Have better things to do.

    Choosing to watch pornography means to forgo the may million other things that could have been done in that circumstance. By choosing pornography, it signals that all the other things which could have been are considered inferior choices not worth allocating.

    There is this funny saying that has been slowly gaining popularity that goes:
    Watching porn does not make you a loser, you are a loser which is why you watch porn.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I am a loser, meaning there is no possibility for change or that there is?

      I agree, my time could be spent better.

      • 4 weeks ago
        filipino anon

        >is no possibility for change or that there is?
        You should draw disgust and insult for the mere implication of inability. You must never engage in talk which kills you.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That's all I do anon, engage in self-killing talk, because it's true. People believe me, well some do, and they shouldn't at all.

          • 4 weeks ago
            filipino anon

            >because it's true.
            Sometimes the truth isn’t good enough and sometimes you deserve more.

            Sometimes that piece of you that is keeping you intact deserves to be rewarded.

            >People believe me, well some do, and they shouldn't at all.
            Perhaps what is before you is some semblance of genuine love - the kind beyond shoulds and coulds, whys and hows.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            All I can say is thanks, you've given me some hope.

          • 4 weeks ago
            filipino anon

            Congratulations on this win! The wins to be made after are up to you.

            The fabric of my persona on the internet is of little to no bearing, I cannot take credit for giving hope to you. The form that I am right now are merely letters, numbers, and symbols arranged in a display of alternating lights on your screen.

            It is you who has given hope to yourself. As this exercise ends, we prove that it is within you capability to produce hope. Produce as much as you please. It is time to live again.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I understand and I appreciate your support. Well I guess I still have some hope within me, that's a relief. Thanks anon for the support nonetheless

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If it’s any consolation, you won’t have to worry about this shit later down the line. Porn’s novelty has an expiry date. By the time you’re 30-something, it just stops giving you any pleasure. It’s dull. But you are still left with the impulses, the craving for an unknown ‘something’.

    And then what you do is you use that craving as a fuel to go do shit, anything, could be a bike ride, could be painting your living room, putting furniture together, whatever. Then you realize if you had known this was where the energy SHOULD have gone in your horny 20’s, you’d have had accomplished a lot more.

    So do that. Channel your horny energy into something productive. Don’t feel shame or self-hate for having it, just at least use it as fuel to motivate you to do something for your life.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have started a degree, I want to excel in it. Given that it is term two and I scaping by, not retaining all the info I need to excel in the career, I desperately need to give up the porn as it saps my energy so that the other parts of the day I don't make use of.

      Thanks for the advice. I am thinking of spending more time fishing and walking on the beach.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No problem. And remember, don’t fall for the toxic shame and self-hate part of your porn addiction. If you do, it will guarantee that you remain hooked to porn. All shaming and hating yourself over it does, is it creates more stress and anxiety. And more stress and anxiety = you give porn more reasons to soothe you.

        You need to put porn out of a job in your life. Si tend to your wounds before the porn does.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Will do, I will try reading my Bible more, it soothes me and gives me hope, as it is the same text my forefathers read, surely I can gain strength from it, in this battle I am having.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Absolutely. I recommend the entirety of Proverbs. If you read the book in a modernized format, it hits different, like it’s being spoken to you in your present day.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/26894925/#26895014

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you I'm sure this post will help a lot. Thank you anon

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ask her to help you out then

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No frick off, I don't see her that way

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just go to thailand and have sex every day

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      With ladyboys? No thanks.

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