My gf of three years told me she doesn't know if she loves me.

My gf of three years told me she doesn't know if she loves me.

Also says that I love her for than she loves me if she does love me.

She's also told me in the past she's not really physically attracted to me, not her "ideal" look

This should be a very easy reason for a guy to leave the relationship, but for whatever reason.

I feel like she's going to monkey branch as soon as the opportunity arises or cheat on me if she doesn't already.

Please talk some sense into me.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >don't love you
    >don't find you attractive
    why is she even with you? maybe she's lonely? what guarantees she is not going to dump you for the first guy she sees in the street?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It's both of our first relationship and she's not even that attractive herself, honestly. But she's a narcissist i think.

      Someone who has to try to love you doesn't and can't love you.

      The relationship has run its course. Be free, friend. Best not to stay in this vortex constantly thinking about if she's gonna end it. Break up, get hurt now, and move on.

      Yes that's what I thought. Love isn't something that needs to be forced. It should come naturally.

      >Please talk some sense into me.
      I think one of the best ways to tackle complexity is simplicity.

      Please tell me what it is that you would like to do, and let us work from there.

      I'd like to break up with her but have a hard time letting go of all the memories with her. Also the thought of being back in the dating scene, i'm utterly terrified. So i guess im clinging to the familiar even if unhealthy in the long run.

      Out of curiosity OP, are you a French guy whose name starts with a T?
      If so I'm sorry that you have to go through this shit and you are better than her for staying loyal.
      If you're not, regardless, you should gtfo because she sounds toxic af and will only hurt you in the long term if you stick around and validate her c**ty behavior.

      No im not french. Yes so many red flags frick i need to leave and be hurt for little and get over it.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >> I'd like to break up with her but have a hard time letting go of all the memories with her.

        Translation: I know I need to break up but I'm scared I won't find someone else so I use her as a safety net and convince myself it's for sentimental reasons.

        Grow the frick up c**t. End the relationship if that's what you want to do. If not, fricking work on it. Hit the gym, lose weight, work on reigniting the spark. Pick. This is on you.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          But we both cry at the thought of ending the relationship. I wish she would just tell me to frick off and make it easier for me.

          Use this relationship as a training ground for having a better relationship and to spot warning signs. She is obviously telling you that she is keeping you until someone better comes along (which I believe she has found) and now wants you to be the bad guy by breaking up with her.

          Tell her that if she wants to break up she has to be the one to say it, meanwhile I suggest you look for another place to live if you are living together and save your money but put it in a bank account she does not know about. good luck anon and hopefully you find someone who loves you for you.

          Yeah she also nags me a lot and gets mad at small things. I feel like it's because she has resentment towards me deep down for being with me. She has also threatened me many times about leaving, maybe next time I'll say okay fine. Luckily we don't live together or share much of anything.

          Yeah it sucks to lose someone you care about, but if she doesn't give a shit about you it'll only hurt more if you don't break up now. She's clearly declared her desire to move on so get her out of your life.

          >It's both of our first relationship and she's not even that attractive herself, honestly. But she's a narcissist i think.
          Reflect about it. Maybe you should let her go.

          I must let her go. That's it. I must let her go for my future. I can't have a woman around who doesn't love me or will jump ship at any time. That's not good for my mental health.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah it sucks to lose someone you care about, but if she doesn't give a shit about you it'll only hurt more if you don't break up now. She's clearly declared her desire to move on so get her out of your life.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >It's both of our first relationship and she's not even that attractive herself, honestly. But she's a narcissist i think.
        Reflect about it. Maybe you should let her go.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Someone who has to try to love you doesn't and can't love you.

    The relationship has run its course. Be free, friend. Best not to stay in this vortex constantly thinking about if she's gonna end it. Break up, get hurt now, and move on.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This. Don't beat yourself up OP everyone has preferences, it is unfair that she took you for a ride tho.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        signs were always there, I was a fool to go along...

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          NEVER talk lowly about yourself, just do what's wise without judgement, it's going to hurt, at this point realize your attachment to her is like being addicted to alcohol, you know it's hurting you but you can't let it go, leave it and don't take another sip, for your future wellfare and happiness, for your future self esteem, imagine what you will think about yourself in the future if you stayed in a relationship Knowing that she didn't like you let alone loved you, set yourself free from more pain.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Have a very low self esteem as far as social/romantic life goes, even though i have a good career and make good money. I'm trying to hold on to something, the only something i ever had, even though it's phony. Feels bad man.

            dump her moron, there is no other option.
            Staying will only bring you misery.

            So
            staying with her= long term misery and bigger heartbreak down the road.

            leaving her = short term misery, might possibly meet someone better eventually who will love me, but also chance ill be alone forever.

            did i mention she also beats/scratches me when she gets angry? She gets mad at me very small things. I let her treat me like this for at least the past year

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >did i mention she also beats/scratches me when she gets angry? She gets mad at me very small things. I let her treat me like this for at least the past year
            Oh, so you have no spine and you won't do shit... I thought this was made by someone who was going to make a choice, not just think about what might be.
            That's okay, see you next year when she dumps you!

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            She sounds like a treat. Give her the boot, bro. She doesn't have respect for you, so found someone who does

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I really should. Frick I need to man up and do this. Rip off the bandaid.

            But what if they got married and he found out she wasn't attracted to him

            I already know she isn't,

            I deserve a woman who's crazy about me just as much as i am about her. Life isn't fair.

  3. 1 month ago
    filipino anon

    >Please talk some sense into me.
    I think one of the best ways to tackle complexity is simplicity.

    Please tell me what it is that you would like to do, and let us work from there.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Out of curiosity OP, are you a French guy whose name starts with a T?
    If so I'm sorry that you have to go through this shit and you are better than her for staying loyal.
    If you're not, regardless, you should gtfo because she sounds toxic af and will only hurt you in the long term if you stick around and validate her c**ty behavior.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Use this relationship as a training ground for having a better relationship and to spot warning signs. She is obviously telling you that she is keeping you until someone better comes along (which I believe she has found) and now wants you to be the bad guy by breaking up with her.

    Tell her that if she wants to break up she has to be the one to say it, meanwhile I suggest you look for another place to live if you are living together and save your money but put it in a bank account she does not know about. Good luck anon and hopefully you find someone who loves you for you.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Your first mistake was having sex with her before marriage. The second was that you weren't dating with the purpose of marriage. If you don't center your.life to God no wonder you have an awful relationship

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Ignore homosexual above.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He’s right, the religious bit aside. If OP wasn’t having sex with this woman (or living together, if they were doing that), he’d be able to see very quickly and clearly that there’s no affection or potential in the relationship.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          But what if they got married and he found out she wasn't attracted to him

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    dump her moron, there is no other option.
    Staying will only bring you misery.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    go no contact

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