My girlfriend cuts herself whenever we have an argument and it makes me feel awful. What should I do?

My girlfriend cuts herself whenever we have an argument and it makes me feel awful. What should I do? She always promises she won't do it again, but she sometimes does

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cutting yourself is something an unstable teenager does. If I were you and made the mistake of being with the person I would just stop feeding into that behavior. Give it no fuel of any kind, no anger, no sympathy, nothing.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She also has done it when she is feeling depressed or stressed from work. She's 24

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Tell her she needs help and you're not qualified to give it. Give her a time limit of 3-6 months to book an appointment or you're gone. She's gonna end up trying to kill herself or your future kids because she's mentally unstable in her prime, and untreated it only gets worse from here.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          She does speak to a therapist like once per week, and don't get me wrong it's not like she cuts herself often, but I have no idea what else I can suggest if she is already speaking to a therapist

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Idk how it works with patient confidentiality but if you can contact that therapist let him/her know about the cutting. If it's already known and not getting better, she should find a better therapist. It's something you're going to have to make a choice about whether you want to be responsible for a mentally unwell person's well-being for life or not.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        break up with her... what a loser, holy shit.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Isn't it kinda brutal to dump someone just because they have a problem like this?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Emotional abuse isn't a little problem.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Talk with her, if she loves you, she will try not to do it so to not to hurt you. Tell her to do some other activities instead of that, for example, go for a walk or for a run. Cutting not always a cry for attention, sometimes it is a way to relieve stress that accumulated. Maybe she grew up in an environment where she was not allowed to express her anger and sadness in any "loud" way, so she turned to cutting. Try to make her do regular excercise. If she starts to work-out and do the anger/anxiety management of doing something else but cutting, than it is a good sign, that she wants to improve herself for your sake. If she not, maybe send her to a professional, but really, she out to have the will and love for you to aim her frustration towards something else. If she can't even do that it is likely that she's cutting herself to earn your pity or make you blame yourself for arguing with her.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Shes nuts break up

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >> My girlfriend cuts herself whenever we have an argument

    >> She also has done it when she is feeling depressed or stressed from work.

    This is very simple, she does it as a coping mechanism when she wants to get out of something. It's like a toddler throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Things aren't going her way so she acts out in order to be coddled.

    >> She always promises she won't do it again

    Which you willingly give her and thus enable the behaviour. >> 30968899 is very close. Only if you simply ignore her she'll decide you don't care about her. Instead you need to be constructive and short circuit the behaviour. Next time she does it and you know she's doing it, call an ambulance.

    If you don't live together or you're not at home at the time you become aware she's cutting herself, call police for a welfare check. Having these professional strangers barge into her life whenever she does this will rob her of the attention she's seeking whilst also preventing her from deciding you don't care about her. It also means she'll get the mental health interventions she needs in the moment so she gets better.

    If she keeps doing it, involve her parents. Tell them when she starts doing it. The point is to associate cutting herself with extreme discomfort and awkwardness.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thing is, she hides it from me so I am not sure if it's her trying to get attention. She doesn't show me when she does it and she doesn't make a big deal about it if I find out she just says she is sorry for doing it

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i cut. don't take it as a personal failure in your end. don't encourage it obviously but don't worry about it when she does it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I don't get how anyone can cut themselves. What is the thought before doing so? Is there planning and how does it make you feel any better? I just don't understand it and maybe that is why I find it so hard when my girlfriend does it because I blame myself, despite it being her own actions

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I don't get how anyone can cut themselves
        with a razor blade usually lol.
        for me i mainly cut when things are going wrong. its hard to even describe why i do it but it helps me to calm down a lot. i think i need to cut deeper though because my scars fade too quickly. i dont blame others even if its something theyve done to trigger me. once my mom didnt take the cardboard from under the pizza before cooking so i broke down and cut myself. it wasnt actually her fault

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          How would giving yourself life long scars and presumably causing you pain help to calm you down? I really don't get it

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            maybe its simply the endorphins but it just seems to. i think youre right in that cutting is a really difficult thing to understand.
            its not really that painful either.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I find it beyond disturbing, but I don't think it's good to break up with someone over this. Not really sure what to do tbh

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            when i get really upset i hurt myself but i mean, like, punching my own face or slamming my head into things until it bleeds
            cutting is on an even higher level of unhinged from that, there's no rationalizing it

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            youre still engaging in self harm.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    She is a narcissist and wants your attention, just ignore her when she does it and she will eventually stop

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    slap her until she stops

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >My girlfriend cuts herself
    i've read enough
    get the frick outta there

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Isn't it kinda common for girls to do this shit nowadays

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're being abused, get away from her.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i disagree. cuttings not necessarily a form of emotional manipulation

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're also a moronic self-harming emotional abuser, opinion discarded.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          i literally only tell my therapist about cutting. some emotional abuse

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      See

      Thing is, she hides it from me so I am not sure if it's her trying to get attention. She doesn't show me when she does it and she doesn't make a big deal about it if I find out she just says she is sorry for doing it

      also I am not

      i disagree. cuttings not necessarily a form of emotional manipulation

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As a former self harmer, it becomes kind of addictive after a while. You can fall into a cycle of harming and receiving endorphins as your bodies response to getting hurt. Whether she intends it or not, s/h after arguments between you guys is manipulative. She needs serious intervention (probably from a professional). It’s a damn hard habit to break, but you can break it easier if you can develop better coping skills. It took me years to stop personally. good luck OP

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    moron behavior. break up with her

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get the heck away from her, OP. I had an ex just like this. You can't help someone like her, all she will do is bring you down to her miserable level. Quit being a simp and cut her off. She is not worth anyone's sympathy

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do shock therapy, OP. Show her the pictures of Coldness in my heart.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Either support her and help her find some sort of treatment or leave her and let somebody useful do it, moron.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      or he could get a cutting fetish and just embrace it

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