My mom is an echo boomer and has a lot of outdated ideas like women needing men and men needing women and so on.

My mom is an echo boomer and has a lot of outdated ideas like women needing men and men needing women and so on.
I told her that I'm asexual and don't plan on trying to find a husband and she started telling me how I "need" a man to look out for me.
I talked to my bisexual friend about it and she said you can really live fine on your own or with someone of the same sex and she has had tons of partners so I feel like she probably knows what she's talking about relationship-wise.
How can I get my mom to calm down about all this without caving in to her expectation that I need to get a bf?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I have a theory that your endocrine system is probably fricked up. I really don't get how this many people in gen z can be asexual, that is not normal, no species has that bug where a decent portion don't want to reproduce.

    But idk, I'm just some random dude on the internet.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      even if I did want sex, why would I want to bring a child into our society?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Would you rather be dead right now

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I swear that the more I look into asexuality the more I lean towards the theory that "asexuals" are narcissists to some degree. Particularly cerebral narcissists that think that sex is repulsive, can't make deep connections with people, have a fear of vulnerability and think that they're very intelligent people and that their potential partner should value them for their intelligence. A lot of nerdy teens think this way and later grow out of it but the ones that get stuck on this line of thought are emotionally immature on some level. Others meanwhile are just shy late bloomers or have other things going on like traumas, hormonal issues, etc.

      Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

      https://i.imgur.com/3foM1ki.png

      My mom is an echo boomer and has a lot of outdated ideas like women needing men and men needing women and so on.
      I told her that I'm asexual and don't plan on trying to find a husband and she started telling me how I "need" a man to look out for me.
      I talked to my bisexual friend about it and she said you can really live fine on your own or with someone of the same sex and she has had tons of partners so I feel like she probably knows what she's talking about relationship-wise.
      How can I get my mom to calm down about all this without caving in to her expectation that I need to get a bf?

      Anyway, OP, how old are you? I wouldn't take advice from someone who's had "tons of partners" because I'm assuming that your friend is just sleeping with anyone with a pulse, which isn't healthy, or that she can't keep anyone around, which also isn't healthy. Your mom might be pushy about seeing you get with someone, but just explain to her that you haven't found anyone that meets your standards yet and that you don't feel quite ready yet. Work on yourself in the meantime to get over whatever your issues connecting with others are. Hit the gym, become more social, cut out fap material, and join some clubs and you'll probably find somebody you'd find attractive out there. Otherwise get therapy.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Anyway, OP, how old are you?
        I'm 18, and starting college next semester. The whole topic came up bc my mom was super excited because she always talks about how she wants grandchildren and she acts like I'll meet some guy in my classes and fall crazy in love with him or something.
        >I'm assuming that your friend is just sleeping with anyone with a pulse
        She's with a new person like weekly. She just gets bored fast. They're always crazy about her tho

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Parents always try to guilt you into grandkids. Just ignore it. Eventually she'll be dead and you won't have to listen to it anymore

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It just makes me mad af that she acts like I can't be an independent adult like I *need* a man or I'll end up homeless and starving or something.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            In a healthy society, you would starve to death if you didn't find a man.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Who's going to give you more polished and statistically valid information: someone who dated 100 people, or someone who married his high school sweetheart shortly after graduation and never looked at another woman again?
        The former can give you insights into how to start and stop dating people, the latter can't give you much of anything because "being a great partner" is not necessary or sufficient cause to marry someone or stick with them for a long time, and you can't extrapolate from a sample size of 1 anyway.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Anything you could learn from a person who has a new partner every week is what NOT to do if you want a healthy relationship with someone. Despite what social media tries to tell you, that's not normal behavior, that's mental illness.

          >Anyway, OP, how old are you?
          I'm 18, and starting college next semester. The whole topic came up bc my mom was super excited because she always talks about how she wants grandchildren and she acts like I'll meet some guy in my classes and fall crazy in love with him or something.
          >I'm assuming that your friend is just sleeping with anyone with a pulse
          She's with a new person like weekly. She just gets bored fast. They're always crazy about her tho

          >I'm 18, and starting college next semester. The whole topic came up bc my mom was super excited because she always talks about how she wants grandchildren and she acts like I'll meet some guy in my classes and fall crazy in love with him or something.
          You're super young so you don't need to worry about grandkids right now. Your mom is just amped for your future, give her a little slack and don't take it too seriously. But don't reject what she says entirely either because you're 18 and you're going to be changing a lot until you're about 25. That's totally normal btw, our brains finish maturing around that time. I say focus on your studies and self improvement but keep your heart open. I was pretty much asexual until 25 and then I met my husband, so this shit happens. But that doesn't mean you should throw yourself at anyone or that your mom wants you to either (I hope).

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          How about the one who didn’t fry their ability to bond may have more valuable advice for those who don’t wish to consume flesh puppets for the remainder of their lives.
          >tons of partners
          >aka tons of failures

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >I swear that the more I look into asexuality the more I lean towards the theory that "asexuals" are narcissists to some degree
        There's something narcissistic about someone who thinks that another person is a freak for not wanting sex with them
        Or even not wanting to talk to them
        That's why socially people hate autistics and asexuals, though they always existed to some degree (we just called them hermits and monks but there is no longer any space for the sort of man or woman who would have gone into the priesthood

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          No one is saying that people need to have sex with anyone who shows interest in them or is in their general sphere, but it IS narcissistic to think that you're above the rabble/biology and can't be attracted to anyone beyond a friend level. That shows signs that you're stunted in some way, can't bond with others well and lack vulnerability. Holding hands and kissing is relatively simple and doesn't require as much intimacy as being naked in front of someone and actually partaking in what is supposed to be romantic bonding with another person. Not to say people don't have sex to just hook someone or for pleasure reasons, but that still falls into the cluster b category of not REAL intimacy, connection or empathy with someone else. It's selfish. And if you're autistic, you should be aware of how common cluster b personality traits and disorders are combined with ADHD, it's a very common pairing.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks for the analysis, anon. Next time I find an asexual, I'll be sure to tell them that the reason their dick don't get hard over people is that they're actually narcissistic and immature as frick. Lel.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Roastie femcels are horrified that not every guy wants to leap into bed with her

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Cry if you want, but every asexual I've met personally or seen on forums is exactly like this.

            >ADHD
            There's a difference between autism and ADHD though some people get diagnosed with all
            I have never been able to relate to ADHD people who are bouncing everywhere while I am quiet and laid back and I am aspie

            Shit, I'm sorry anon, I triggered a memory and forgot I was talking about autism for a minute.

            Roastie femcels are horrified that not every guy wants to leap into bed with her

            I was a virgin asexual until I got married. Where did I say anything about people should be having wild sex? If anything, I've been saying I'm against that. I'm just also tired of asexuals talking about how gross other people are for being normal, functional humans.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >how gross other people are for being normal, functional humans
            But they are. A lot about sex and being a human generally IS pretty gross. Thankfully hormones make us overlook it.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            True, I should have phrased that differently. I meant more in the lines of, "ugh, these stupid animals just want sex all the time but my big brain can only get off to reading smut n-no wait, I mean I'm reading this noncon mindbreak yaoi for the plot of course" shut ins that can't make eye contact with people and then wonder why they can't get turned on but blame society instead. It sucks because true asexuality does exist in some people, but it's super fricking rare and almost always a mental illness or a biological thing holding them back, and then here comes chronically online teenagers acting like they need a label to define themselves because they don't find 99% of people attractive. I hate to break it to you guys, but that's normal.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Just be careful generalizing anon. Every once and a while there is a thread on the board where a man asks what to do because his wife hates having sex and does not feel any sexual attraction to him, has trouble faking it and lays flat as a board
            In autistics especially there a lot of people who are capable of giving emotional love and being a companion but due to weird physiological issues have no libido and find sex painful
            If OP is one of these women and knows it why would you advise her to pursue a situation that will make her and her partner feel trapped and unhappy
            It's the opposite of narcissistic to avoid putting yourself in an appealing situation where you will likely let the other person down
            Calling people who don't want sex narcissistic is also on the way to entitled
            Might as well start correctively raping young people who don't find the idea fun

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I probably have aspergers (at least according to non-expert general doctors since I don't want to toss out money on other experts) and have never had sex willingly; still a virgin in my thirties. The idea of bonking genitalia with someone just never occurred to me and I never developed the excitement other's get over naked girls or twinks; still I have a lot of empathy for people and have often volunteered with autistic kids who have a more serious version of the condition.
            Normies who love cuddles with their bfs never would have given these kids the time of day much less played chess and done puzzles with them
            No, I don't think the ability to have a sexual relationship /=/ the ability to love
            Agape is more important than erotics

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >ADHD
            There's a difference between autism and ADHD though some people get diagnosed with all
            I have never been able to relate to ADHD people who are bouncing everywhere while I am quiet and laid back and I am aspie

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >it IS narcissistic to think that you're above the rabble/biology
            If your biology does not grant you a sex drive then you are very much part of the biology.
            It's amazing how little awareness you have of perspectives outside your own while you talk about empathy.
            Red flag for narcissism.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Don't call spergs monks, homosexual. We are social. We have social goals.
          What we don't have is fricks given about small talk or weak egoes.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Particularly cerebral narcissists that think that sex is repulsive, can't make deep connections with people, have a fear of vulnerability and think that they're very intelligent people and that their potential partner should value them for their intelligence.
        How do you get that from someone not wanting sex? It's not accurate for most.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >no species has that bug where a decent portion don't want to reproduce
      What are ants and bees

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >my bisexual friend
    >said you can really live fine on your own or with someone of the same sex
    >she has had tons of partners
    >I feel like she probably knows what she's talking about relationship-wise.
    If someone has "a lot of partners" and is giving you advice on how you dont need them, you should really ignore that advice

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's not really in your hands to affect how she feels about it, her boomerdom is probably too deep to change her mind. Just don't cave in like some homosexual and live your life the way you see fit.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    "asexual" isn't a real thing
    neither is "bisexual"
    you watch too much TV and probably hate yourself
    try doing psychedelics and staring at yourself in the mirror

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Your mother is based and is right.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      She's partially right that OP should not discount being a late bloomer but she's also very behind the times, in a modern relationship no one is taking care of the woman for the most part. Talk to a zoomer generation guy and he is not exactly enthusiastic to get a desk job and wage slave for the convenience of a stay at home mom.
      If OP finds sex unappealing she would also probably be miserable being married and trading sex for security
      Imagine being the dude married to a woman who does not feel any kind of sexual arousal. Loads of autistic and asexual people are miserable because of the advice that men and women should be married

      True, I should have phrased that differently. I meant more in the lines of, "ugh, these stupid animals just want sex all the time but my big brain can only get off to reading smut n-no wait, I mean I'm reading this noncon mindbreak yaoi for the plot of course" shut ins that can't make eye contact with people and then wonder why they can't get turned on but blame society instead. It sucks because true asexuality does exist in some people, but it's super fricking rare and almost always a mental illness or a biological thing holding them back, and then here comes chronically online teenagers acting like they need a label to define themselves because they don't find 99% of people attractive. I hate to break it to you guys, but that's normal.

      It's true that a lot of the teenagers online who claim to be asexual are trying to be special snowflakes with a niche identity, kind of like tumblrinas of the 2000s claiming to be trannies and otherkin
      However, there have always been people who found sex unappealing and chose to forgo it.
      I personally had people who went into the priesthood among my friends
      It's a small niche of people but they are not to be demonized or treated as psychos just because they don't want to be in a sexual relationship
      Would you rather there be more people who desperately want sex and can't get it, and go on incel shooting sprees?

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    YOU

    WILL

    NEVER

    BE

    A

    WOMAN

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >outdated ideas like women needing men and men needing women and so on.

    that's it. humanity will go extinct soon. the new generations are too dumb to servive

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The highest success rate of happiness is a tribe where men and women live apart in little long houses and they only ever meet to frick

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        source my ass

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    When you grow older it becomes increasingly useful to have a life partner of sorts. To help with socialization/mental health, looking after your physical health, finances, life advice, long-term planning. I think there's a nugget of wisdom in what she's talking about, although they don't need to be someone of the opposite sex. But someone that does genuinely support you and is in it for the long term.

    A lot of our culture is geared towards couples and they often have certain advantages given to them.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      From a male perspective a lot of dudes I know wish they had never gotten married.
      For some women its also very difficult to put up with being someone sole sexual outlet too, because even non-asexual women have less of a drive for it than men

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Most people become mentally ill thanks to their wife or husband. Hell is other people

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Your mom is right Aceggot, go drink your warm milk somewhere else

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Will you be willing to take care of a girl who is not enthuastistic about having sex with you? If not, the mom is making OP make some man unhappy

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        For every low libido man there is a low libido woman.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          There is nothing appealing about this life style and it is just as infertile as being a permabachelor. If you are low libido become a fricking monk or an explorer something badass like that

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Low libido doesn't mean zero libido or no sex. You go ahead and have sex anyway because you love each other and it's good for you.

            One mistake I think a lot of people make is this idea that you just get horny out of nowhere and want to frick, with no direct object to the verb.
            >I'm so horny, ohh I need sex!
            Well no, some of us get like this, some do not. It may take the sight or thought of an attractive person, or the presence of someone we like, it may take mutual affection - but most importantly here, I think for some of us it takes physical touch. We don't talk about foreplay anymore, or even just making out for its own sake. While porn and other mass media may have dulled the impact of visual attraction, casual sex has made obscure the idea that you like a person, then you kiss them because you like them, and after you kiss for a while you increasingly want more touch and closer contact, increasingly intimate contact, and this is where your bodies cross a tipping point where you want penetration and orgasms together. It's not something most people traditionally want out of nowhere. That normally happens when you are alone for a while and start thinking about someone. It is absolutely not a thing everyone who has access to a partner just gets out of nowhere, so that you are doing dishes and increasingly you want to frick. I'm done with what I was doing, I haven't had a moment alone with my wife all day long, I find her in the other room and kiss her for a while, I am not yet thinking about her pussy, I am just enjoying the kiss. Then I work my hands into her shirt not so I can frick her but for the pleasure of skin contact in and if itself. And so on.

            Put simply, you have no idea if you are asexual or low libido until you are holding and kissing someone you love, just because you love them. If there's no desire to increase intimacy from there, you may have a problem. Or you might really be asexual.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Low libido doesn't mean zero libido or no sex. You go ahead and have sex anyway because you love each other and it's good for you.
            Sex is bad for you bro
            It's roastie sexologists who are pushing that its good for you. They sell books on how to increase your sex drive like this

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Not really, they are having condom sex or are on the pill, and they sell the myth that sex is good because orgasm because stress relief. That's not why sex is good for you. It's good because men and women are symbionts and our reproductive fluids are like drugs to each other. This is exclusive to unimpeded PIV.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            A lack of physicality could be a reason most zoomies think they are asexual; they are just never near anybody long enough to feel anything because they mostly talk over text
            I am the old autist and its mostly a symptom of the autism with me. I remember being in my twenties and seeing teenagers make-out and being vaguely disgusted and surprised that anyone did that outside of tv

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I would kick out a worthless shit like you to add to numbers of skid-row.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Every outdated idea has been outdated since hundreds of years ago. If you think basic stuff that has been best practices for thousands of years was recently discovered invalid thanks to present day society, you have joined a fad. It should be plain on its face that we are not experiencing an age of enlightenment.

    Do you really think that generations who have produced no great minds or innovative movements are in a position to pooh-pooh something as solved and completely fricking obvious as sex?

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    a prostitute doesnt know anything dude

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's not about kids, the biggest benefit to having a partner is financial. It's hard to make a living on one salary. Might be good to consider a non-romantic or non-sexual partner.

    Also a lot of young people thing they are asexual until they get a bit older and experience real life. Makes sense you think you are a sexual when your only exposure to romantic relationships is highschool.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >> I'm asexual

    How many times have you divided to reproduce so far? Never? Ok, then like all humans you aren't asexual.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Psychiatrists are now using "asexual" as a symptom of autism.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    "outdated ideas"

    You mean ideas that have worked for over 2000 years and withstood the test of time?

    'No no no, disable the safety valves, I want to try something new and novel, like a large explosion!'

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Femoids don't correct their ideas to match reality.
    If she starts harassing you about it, move out. Otherwise ignore her.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Your friend wants to bang you you mong

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >how do I get my mom to calm down
    That’s the thing, you can’t really make people feel anything nor is it your job to. If you know what your goals are and you know what makes you happy then feel free to continue like that and communicate to anyone about it if it’s necessary. But not everyone will understand or approve and that’s okay.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >How can I get my mom to calm down
    You don't. You can't control her, and she can't control you. Just maintain your own positions, and she'll eventually either learn she has to deal with that, or she'll be insufferable forever and ruin your relationship. If she chooses the latter, you'll have to be honest with yourself about whether you can stand to continue seeing her, knowing that she doesn't respect your choice

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