My wife hasn't talked to her parents for a very long time.

My wife hasn't talked to her parents for a very long time. She always said it was because they were abusive, so I understood.

One or two weeks ago I found her crying and asked her what happened. It seemed like she was having a PTSD episode because she was completely broken. She asked if she could tell me what had actually happened and I said sure.

She was raped by both her mother and father for years, and they even forced her brother and her to have sex in front of them. This went on since she was three or four until she was 15.

I love her but I have suddenly lost all attraction to her. She has noticed and is very sad. I try to hide it but it's really difficult. She has tried to initiate sex a couple times and I couldn't get it up. She was devastated and it was painful. I made up bullshit excuses ("I'm very tired"), but she's not stupid.

I don't want to leave her and I love her, but I don't know what to do. It doesn't look like I will ever be attracted to her again. What should I do?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Borderline personality disorder is the most likely culprit

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Couples councelling

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Expanding on this a bit; in councelling, she may reveal that the abuse didn't happen, or it may turn out to be true. The councilor is better-equipped to sus this up.

      Also, if you do have to break up with her because you can't handle the situation, true or false, the councilor can explain it to her.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        A counsellor is not a councillor. Neither are equipped to handle PTSD or serious traumatic situations. This is what psychologists are for.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Spellchecker

          Anyway, the idea is to let the crazy girl down gently, by involving a professional who can be left holding the hot potato.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You're a complete moron and shouldn't be trying to give anyone advice. Ger your own life into order, it's clearly not in a good state if this is the kind of shit you come out with.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Black person

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You are in shock. It's a lot to take in. You need to be honest (but not brutal) with your wife. Then you should both get psychologists. Couples counselling in a few months in addition to your separate work with psychologists may be very helpful. It isn't over yet, and as hopeless as it may seem right now there is light at the end of the tunnel if you just keep stepping forward.

      Wtf are you even on about? You have no fricking clue.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Run

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tell the police and watch them make her kill herself.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Shes not dirty, first of all. People who are victims had no choice in the matter. And it gives them more empathy for others. Life is really just a series of trials and tribulations. If she has a solid adult life then i wouldnt worry about it. Keep in mind lots of people are dealing with their own personal horrors

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If I drop my ice cream on the ground, is it dirty? Will my intent have an impact on the answer?

      What makes someone a victim is that they were made dirty by someone else, without having agreed to those behaviours of free will. All victims are by necessity of being victims, dirty.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >If I drop my ice cream on the ground, is it dirty? Will my intent have an impact on the answer?
        moronic analogy unless OP married a virgin.

        If an ice cream is dropped on the ground, it's either dirty or clean regardless of the intent. If you knew that a person had already had sex before, whether it was consensual sex or rape would not matter to you: they are still as "dirty" or as "clean" as they were before.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          MFW I realise you think dirty is a reference to a lack of virginity. roflmao. That's not what that means, no one normal cares about virginity anymore because it isn't the 10th century and we have HPT to be sure she isn't pregnant to someone else before you marry her.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Meds

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Oh, do you need to take some? Is that why you don't get what's going on? Fair enough mate. Have a good one, hope you feel better.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ragebait

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How would this be ragebait? What's supposed to make me rage here?

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You both need therapy - her for her PTSD and you for your confused emotions.

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