question to the casual sex havers

what is the process of getting casual sex? Like what even is the order of events in this case? What are the circumstances? And how does dialogue go in it? Is it like, on some sort of a party, a chick goes up to you and says "hey let's frick" or some shit? It's super abstract to me, what does it look like in detail?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You are asking in the wrongest place possible but I'll answer since I'm one of like 3 guys here who can.
    >match on tinder (90+% of hookups and even most relationships start on apps)
    >the dialogue is, first couple messages are relatively generic intro stuff like asking about something from the bio but if we're both horny then it turns mutually flirty pretty quickly
    >once we've passed that barrier where it's clear we're both into it the question becomes identifying if it's a "come over tonight" kind of hookup or a "see you friday at 8pm" kind of hookup
    >meet at scheduled place and time, regardless
    >traveling partner goes inside, talk for a few min while getting a little touchy and cuddly and handsy, maybe with netflix on in the background if we're entertaining that larp, possibly knock back some glasses of wine
    >escalate to making out, full groping, then remove clothes and frick
    >afterwards either leave immediately if somebody gets bad post-nut clarity, otherwise cuddle for a while then leave, or stay the night if you actually like each other a little

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, this is about right. Generally speaking you quickly move off of the app and start chatting on Messenger or over text. If a chick isn't actually into you then she'll stop talking to you before this point.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This is a good point that I omitted, that generally is a transitional marker from the "intro" to the "flirty" stages. Introductory chatting on tinder, get real contact info, conversation turns salacious after moving to another app or text or whatever.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Moving off of Tinder/Bumble/Hinge to something more personal is basically the goal, since it means that you have more of her attention and can do stuff like send pictures of your cool, fun life or your body without getting into trouble with Tinder mods/bots.

          as a male do you bring your own condom or does she give you one?

          Chicks who are loose enough to be bawdting it up on dating apps tend to have their own condoms, but they rarely ever have Large ones, which means that you should probably bring your own if you need them. Also, lots of chicks frick raw now because they think antibiotics and birth control are infallible.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty much nailed it, but I'll answer your questions in autistic detail.

      >what is the process of getting casual sex?

      Establishing a context for the both of you to be alone at either of your homes. Usually late enough to where you'd normally be winding down for the evening and going to sleep. Alone together at bedtime = sleeping with each other.

      >Like what even is the order of events in this case?

      Match on an app/meet in person, agree to come over for the night, sit together on a couch to establish initial physical contact, escalate physical contact, take it to the bedroom, frick. Generally you're going to put an arm around them first, they'll place a hand on your thigh or chest, which is the social context to touch them in the same places. You can always feel safe touching them in a place where they have touched you first.

      >And how does dialogue go in it?

      No true dialogue needed. Social norms are established by the environment. It's pre-established that if you're alone together in a private place things will get physical. There are a couple coded phrases establish the environment, and therefore the social expectations.

      "Want to come over" - Private and alone together, social context to make out on the couch
      "Stay the night" - Private, alone, in bed. Social context to get naked

      If you're not comfortable with being that direct and bringing them to your place you can establish the social context for them to invite you in. Back in the 50's you'd tell them you wanted to take them out, would pick them up, and then drop them off. That gives them a context to invite you inside if the date went well. That's what I did, but I'm in my mid 30s and everything seems to move faster now. I don't know if that's the default today, but I bet it would still work.

      Everything is about escalating into increasingly private environments and then just doing the things that happen in private environments.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      op here. God damn, your answer has answered all my questions and more, along with

      Pretty much nailed it, but I'll answer your questions in autistic detail.

      >what is the process of getting casual sex?

      Establishing a context for the both of you to be alone at either of your homes. Usually late enough to where you'd normally be winding down for the evening and going to sleep. Alone together at bedtime = sleeping with each other.

      >Like what even is the order of events in this case?

      Match on an app/meet in person, agree to come over for the night, sit together on a couch to establish initial physical contact, escalate physical contact, take it to the bedroom, frick. Generally you're going to put an arm around them first, they'll place a hand on your thigh or chest, which is the social context to touch them in the same places. You can always feel safe touching them in a place where they have touched you first.

      >And how does dialogue go in it?

      No true dialogue needed. Social norms are established by the environment. It's pre-established that if you're alone together in a private place things will get physical. There are a couple coded phrases establish the environment, and therefore the social expectations.

      "Want to come over" - Private and alone together, social context to make out on the couch
      "Stay the night" - Private, alone, in bed. Social context to get naked

      If you're not comfortable with being that direct and bringing them to your place you can establish the social context for them to invite you in. Back in the 50's you'd tell them you wanted to take them out, would pick them up, and then drop them off. That gives them a context to invite you inside if the date went well. That's what I did, but I'm in my mid 30s and everything seems to move faster now. I don't know if that's the default today, but I bet it would still work.

      Everything is about escalating into increasingly private environments and then just doing the things that happen in private environments.

      that gave even more detail, i really thank you both very sincerely for that, because casual sex really all did feel like a huge abstraction for me, because the furthest i've come in interaction with girls is having one come to my house at daytime without any kissing or sex or whatever - twice; basically the furthest i've been is just talking if we look at a macro scale of things, if we ignore just meet-ups. Again, thanks, because i had no idea where to start with casual sex, and probably also sex altogether
      the step of getting on a dating app for me feels like probably the hardest hurdle to get through here, because i'm paranoid that if a friend of mine does find me on Tinder or Bumble or whatever, they'll tell it to people they know that i'm so desperate that i'm using a dating app to find someone; that plus the possibility that people will share this photo + bio page of me somehow in the context of making fun of me, which gets me further paranoid about dating apps
      my biggest fear of sex (either casual or not casual) is that i have worries about nutting quite almost instantly (i have no clue what my sexual intercourse performance is, because i'm a virgin), which is of course super humiliating and embarrassing when it happens at intercourse. I'm worried partly due to me feeling like almost exploding when looking at photos where the girl shows even a little bit of boob skin; that's how easy it is to set me off, and i've had cases of me lasting very very short while fapping, and i even had a case of me cumming hands free while watching porn about 1 minute in - and it was still the stage of the vid where the girl was teasing (the whole vid featured only 1 girl, no one else). I'm thinking of renting a hooker first to test waters of how i'm performing, but i'm still unsure about that
      thanks once again, because the answers from both of you serve really big help for me

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >they'll tell it to people they know that i'm so desperate that i'm using a dating app to find someone

        The only way they'd see it is if they are on there too. It would make them look bad, so this never happens. At this point too many people are using the apps, it's not a controversial thing to be doing.

        >have worries about nutting quite almost instantly

        It's more likely that you'll be so nervous that you won't be able to cum at all. Just fire one off before you go over to their place and you'll be fine.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          nearing writing of my post i also noticed that people making fun of me for using dating apps would make them hypocritical, since they will only see me if they use the same app, but thanks for confirming
          >fire one off
          seems fair, but i don't want to have my experience of sex being kind of spoiled on fapping beforehand

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >my experience of sex being kind of spoiled on fapping beforehand

            Entirely fair. I would recommend investing in an STD test and Plan B. If you want to do it right you're gonna want to do it raw. Make it as seamless as possible.

            Fair warning, if you do that the likelihood of you catching strong feelings is much higher. That's how it was for me, and I was completely under the spell of a pretty nasty woman and tolerated a lot of behavior that I shouldn't have.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            due to my paranoia about STDs and pregnancy i'll probably still wear a condom, maybe even the extra-thick one; but who knows, maybe she'll be so drugged on birth control that the pregnancy risk would be super low
            good that you mention STD tests because i only thought about STD prevention, and i kinda forgot about those tests
            i'm still eyeing that hooker option though; do you know anyone that tried to do it (i know that not many people share this, but still)?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Reading stuff like this makes me glad that i remain untouched, thats souless, or at least not for me. Don't worry it is not copium, i get brutally rekt whenever i see a couple with kids on my daily basis

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    as a male do you bring your own condom or does she give you one?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's a good idea to bring them, I have my preferred brand and everything but a lot of times girls who are whoring will have them in stock. Maybe they're allergic to latex or something and you gotta use hers. I genuinely don't even ask though, and if she doesn't stop and insist on a condom I won't use one. Then afterwards when lying in bed I'll drop the "sooo I didn't ask about birth control or anything before, but uhhh" at which point they will say they're on BC or whatever. Women are really pretty good about this, despite what you may think about their honesty or whatever getting pregnant is a bigger problem for them than it is for you especially if they're antinatalist-minded modern women. Worst case is a quick trip to the walgreens for a plan B.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        hookups let strangers hit it raw? Do they let you nut inside?

        Do you keep in touch afterward or never speak again?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          They do absolutely, occasionally they'll do some visibly obvious mental loophole copes to let me nut inside like asking when my last STD test was or the last time I fricked (I lie and say "a couple weeks" to both when the reality is last test was Never and last frick was 3 days ago) and then go for it. I've really never had a girl insist on "pulling out", either they want real Protection or they just let me nut.

          Sometimes they pump and dump me and I never hear back from them again, sometimes we'll do what I call a "3 night stand" where instead of going once then never again you see each other maybe 3-5 times before ghosting. Sometimes you will accidentally get into a "relationship" where the hookup just keeps happening for months on end and somebody starts developing expectations for exclusivity and commitment and so on, spurring me to ghost them before it gets any worse and spurring them to post some "men aint shit" seethe on twitter or whatever.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            they really are pox riddled prostitutes. Heck I think actual prostitutes might be safer since they generally insist on condoms.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >hookups let strangers hit it raw? Do they let you nut inside?
          Yes and yes, constantly. I have had chicks take my condom off mid-fricking because they didn't like how it felt, or just resort to fricking raw because the condoms they had leftover from their last sloppy hookup were to small.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Never used a condom before (because i'm a virgin), are you really that big? Or is it size marketing that screws up women? I have a feeling that condom sizes are skewed toward "large" sizes to make men feel better based on all the shit I've heard about them. I don't really want to believe it's literally only men with above average dicks going out and fricking lmao but I guess it would make sense

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >are you really that big?
            Condoms are mostly about width/circumference. Once you get around 6" in circumference you need the large ones as the smaller ones get too uncomfortable/tight or straight up don't fit. Magnums are a marketing gimmick but you really do feel the difference.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How long is foreplay? BJ (do you cum in her mouth?) do you eat her out? Then do you go straight to sex? How long does that last? If she doesn't cum do you have to help her out?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >how long is foreplay/sex
      When fricking is going on I am detached from the existence of time. The outside world ceases to exist like when you're in a casino. Most often girls will give head voluntarily, but especially will if you ask/tell them to. Personally I don't nut from head usually, both because I just like fricking better than head and for the purely logistical reason of not wanting to have to have refractory period issues. Sometimes a hookup will be "she blows you and then leaves" but for me, I'm not really happy with that and always frick them. Some guys do head-only encounters though.

      I eat pussy with ferocity and unmatched skill because there is nothing more depraved than being face first up to my ears in c**t and I also love 69 on the same basis. They're also cumming with me but the phrasing of your question implies that you expect her to nut just from penetration which is possible but uncommon. They always cum with me one way or another, I can't stand leaving a girl un-nutted. Just against my personal moral values and it's also a good way to secure repeat business.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I've always just done whatever I wanted. The onus is on them self-advocate if they want something else. Ideally you frick in a self-serving way and end up with someone who likes it that way. You get to do it the way they want, they get it the way they want. Everyone wins; you don't really want a relationship founded on having to perform acts that you don't really like.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So what i gather from this thread is that basically the only way to get casual sex is through hookup apps. And that i should avoid any woman who has ever used them like the plague, since i want an actual relationship.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Good luck, they've all used at least a little bit 'just to see what it's like.' Those might have used protection and it's only when it becomes common do they start letting guys raw dog.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >the digits

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's the most common way, but not the only way.

      >since i want an actual relationship

      Actual relationships in the 21st century start out as casual sex.

      They do absolutely, occasionally they'll do some visibly obvious mental loophole copes to let me nut inside like asking when my last STD test was or the last time I fricked (I lie and say "a couple weeks" to both when the reality is last test was Never and last frick was 3 days ago) and then go for it. I've really never had a girl insist on "pulling out", either they want real Protection or they just let me nut.

      Sometimes they pump and dump me and I never hear back from them again, sometimes we'll do what I call a "3 night stand" where instead of going once then never again you see each other maybe 3-5 times before ghosting. Sometimes you will accidentally get into a "relationship" where the hookup just keeps happening for months on end and somebody starts developing expectations for exclusivity and commitment and so on, spurring me to ghost them before it gets any worse and spurring them to post some "men aint shit" seethe on twitter or whatever.

      explained it pretty well. You just meet and have sex for a while until you eventually start presenting publicly to your friends and family as a couple.

      All goes back to the private/public environment dictating the social expectations.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        all the while she's likely banging other dudes (and letting them nut in her too) before you decide to go 'exclusive'. No wonder STD rates are so high.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You're not wrong. Didn't say it was a good thing, it's just how things work. Don't delay, act now and date young to mitigate your risk if you want a shot at a LTR.

          [...]
          Yeah no i'm a Catholic guy, and i will either find a God fearing woman who saved herself for marriage like me or i will die alone and celibate. I highly doubt there are no goid normal women out there, not every woman is a sex crazed Americanized prostitute of Babylon.

          You've never heard of the Catholic Poophole Loophole?

          Your goal is admirable, but you better move quick. They're not gonna wait forever.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >date young
            too late, I'm a KHHV at 34. I've given up all hope of fricking and if they're like that I don't think I want to. I could tolerate a girl with a small body count but these sanks must be 50+ or higher.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, You're correct. Not too late to find purpose in other things.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Good luck, they've all used at least a little bit 'just to see what it's like.' Those might have used protection and it's only when it becomes common do they start letting guys raw dog.

        Yeah no i'm a Catholic guy, and i will either find a God fearing woman who saved herself for marriage like me or i will die alone and celibate. I highly doubt there are no goid normal women out there, not every woman is a sex crazed Americanized prostitute of Babylon.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          even church girls have hoe phases now (they just repent afterward hehe). Good luck.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I know, there are no women my age in my church (early 20s), they turn 18, head on over to the major cities to "find themselves" then return at 30, 25 pounds heavier, wrinklier, saggier and start looking for a man to settle down with.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you know a girl
    you get along with her
    u start stouching
    peepee get hard
    you stick it in
    i guess
    t. sex haver

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >what is the process of getting casual sex?

    Dating apps
    First date in public
    My house
    In this order

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you need to make friends with a woman dumbass

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