>gf convinces me to go to a drag show
>much more interactive than I thought
>drag queen slaps my ass during performance
>everyone laughs including gf
>too surprised to determine course of action, stand there stunned rest of show
>gf teases me about it later
>get into argument about it - I feel violated, she thinks it was all in good fun and doesn't want me to ruin it for her
>she brings up this event in every argument as an example of me overreacting
>follows that particular drag queen on instagram because he's her "favourite"
Here is the advice I'm after:
I feel like if she didn't keep bringing it up I'd be able to forget about it and get over it, but because she brings it up in almost every argument we have, I am constantly reminded that I let a homosexual touch me like that, did nothing about it, and was laughed at by a crowd of people among which was my girlfriend. I've asked her to stop revisiting the topic but she won't. How can I get her to stop? I think she views me as less of a man because of it and is daring me to do something about it (especially since the guy is apparently her favourite drag queen ever since it happened), but I'm not sure what.
How do I get her to see my POV? I pointed out that if some guy slapped her ass like that and was laughed at, she'd feel objectified and would probably cry. She agreed with this assessment but thinks it's different because I'm a guy and it was "just" a gay guy.
How do I get over this? Like I said, I don't think I'd care this much normally but because I'm reminded of it every so often, I can't escape the feeling of shame and anger for letting it happen. I feel like less of a man for it. How do I shrug it off?
She's also pissed because I won't go to more drag shows with her and thinks I'm being controlling, even though I'm happy for her to frick off and go by herself, but that's just me venting.