Sexless marriage

How important is sexual satisfaction for a long-term relationship?

I'm married (religious reasons stayed celibate until marriage)
My wife is nice and sweet, but won't do anything sexual like Blowjob/handjob/titjob,etc.
Wearing lingerie is just basic night gowns,,nothing sexy at all.
And to top it off, While I was celibate it doesn't mean I haven't watched my fair share of porn.
Many if I dare would like to reenact some of those with her.
And I'm found of soft bondage to which she refuse to indulge me with.
Finally, she can't cum only if she got her clit rubbed in very specific way (I suspect that's how she jerk offd and got used to it), meaning she don't like me going down on her or doing veganal intercourse.
So currently, we've been married for the 3 years, and hadn't had sex in the last 8 months.
I don't know if I'm making this bigger than it should or not.

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're fricked. Unless you can handle being celibate for the remainder of your life, that's what is going to happen. Divorce now. You got psyoped by religion

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty much this. I don't know why people don't understand how women function. You can crush a woman's skull with your hands. Because of this, they need to subdue you through other means. Do men think women don't attempt to subdue them? OP is an example of a subdued man. It didn't take big claws or fangs or anything like that. She did it by guile. She adapted to wherever the gaps are in your personality and she exploited it. That is what women do. Nature has them fine tuned to do that.

      OP, enjoy dancing to her tune for the rest of your life or until you grow some balls and deal with the repercussions of standing up for yourself (and women are masters of forcing consequences to that as well). Being avoidably unhappy is a good way to live I hear. Worst case is, when you go into the hospital with a terminal illness just tell them "hey, I lived my life basically as a slave to someone else's desires, I ate garbage even though there was steak available, but because I was such a good boy, can you reset my clock and give me another 40 years where I get to enjoy life more on my terms? Oh...no? Doesn't work like that...damn."

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you have children together?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, no sex.

      Find something else you like about her anon

      When there's no sex, I seem to only find things I hate about her.

      your wife has failed her role, and so I believe the Lord will not hold this against you if you divorce. So long as you tried making it work.

      I'm trying, I try to approach her every now and then, aka when I get too horny to stay mad at her.
      I rubbed her back, and massaged her thighs, and started rubbing her lady parts, slowly to get her into the mood and aroused.
      At some some point she got horny and started rubbing with me until she came.
      She then hugged me and slept, And I was there with raging boner feeling like human vibrator left turned on.
      Too mad to jerk off and too horny to sleep.

      Maybe you should stop and think about what she wants for a little bit, maybe she wants to travel or go out or do something else besides sex for a while

      Well, she doesn't say anything

      > Sexless marriage
      Wife not attracted to husband
      /thread
      Next question

      And now what?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >And now what?
        Divorce or misery for the rest of your life. Sorry you fell for the marriage meme.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It’s like that old saying. If the sex is good then it’s 5% of a relationship. If it’s bad then it’s 95%. A lot of women feel differently about sex than men do, for women it’s like a hot tub, nice when it’s good but not necessary. Men look at sex in a relationship like it’s AC, you only think about it when something is wrong. That doesn’t mean you dislike her or only care about sex, it just means you have a need that isn’t being met. If she can’t or doesn’t want to satisfy it then the two of you really need to have a conversation about your marriage because most men just aren’t geared towards loving like this, especially in a relationship. The Bible even says men who’re comfortable without sex or a relationship are rare and should dedicate their life to the church because most guys can’t handle a life without a partner.

        Have you talked too her about it? As in had an actual conversation about why you’re upset. Because if she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings you really do need to have some uncomfortable discussions about your future.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >How important is sexual satisfaction for a long-term relationship?
        How important is it for you? That's the bottom line.
        Have you actually talked about your wants and needs with her? You know, like two grown-ups.
        Have you tried asking why she is averse to having sex?

        >When there's no sex, I seem to only find things I hate about her.
        How/why did you end up married in the first place?
        >Many if I dare would like to reenact some of those with her.
        Are you letting this show through? Porn is fantasy acted out by professionals, and not something you should strive for, at least for starters.

        1- you promised monogamy, but not celibacy.
        2- she promised to forsake all others, implying she wouldn't forsake you.
        3- you don't want sex. You want a "fulfilling, intimate sexual relationship" with her. Don't let her say "all you want is sex."
        4- stop all non-sexual intimacy. It is reasonable to believe that engaging in non-sexual intimacy (hand-holding, cuddling, massages) will eventually lead to sexual intimacy some night(s). Why frustrate yourself?
        5- start bettering yourself. Work out, take care of your appearance and go out by yourself (say you're having a beer with friends, going on a hike by yourself, a movie.
        9- ask to go to marriage counseling. If she refuses, go alone and tell her you are. It will show you are interested in figuring out (a) how to change this situation, (b) live with the situation or (c) leave the situation.

        This Anon has a really solid take.

        I wish you and your marriage all the best, OP Anon.
        >regards. Anon who has been together with an asexual woman for 13 years

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Find something else you like about her anon

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Dear cracka, dump this stupid white b***h. Stop thinking it's any your fault. You sound fairly rational. Get a divorce, I hope you had a prenup, and start taking care of yourself. Become a man of sheer fricking will. What I did to become confident is to surround myself with people I aspire to be, even if they'r completely fictional (Kratos, John Wick, etc etc). Women will dig you for you, as long as you dig them for them and not their pussy. Inshallah, and good luck down the road brother.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    your wife has failed her role, and so I believe the Lord will not hold this against you if you divorce. So long as you tried making it work.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    don't listen to the idiots claiming divorce. what religion are you? many religions demand chastity before marriage, but the point is that you have sex like animals afterwards. and if contraception is against your religion then there are dedicated plans for regular sexual activity in that context as well.

    your dumb wife probably feels like you're obligated to keep your wiener in a cage until it's time to make a baby. this isn't the case. if she wanted no sex then she should have become a nun or a lesbian.

    8 months dry with your wife is no way to go. steer this ship back into the land of sanity before it's too late, otherwise it will cause a lot of resentment in the marriage as a whole.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe you should stop and think about what she wants for a little bit, maybe she wants to travel or go out or do something else besides sex for a while

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    > Sexless marriage
    Wife not attracted to husband
    /thread
    Next question

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This, this right here, this is what I’m afraid of. I’ll go ahead and post my shot here since I’m terrified of this and any advice OP gets might help me.
    >Grew up in a religious household that was pretty prudish and not very open about sex
    >Unfiltered internet access leads to a porn addiction early that lasts through high school and some of college
    >Also omega weeb that has the unfortunate fate of living in nerd hell (Bible Belt) where the only people that share my interests are weird even by nerd standards
    >Naturally high libido + recovering porn addiction means I’m horny pretty often
    >On top of all this I have a side of tysm
    Despite all this, I’m still religious and that’s important to me. That said, I have very little in common with women in my area because anyone who shares my interests or at least doesn’t find them off putting is a atheist or neopagan and most single religious women here are tradwife larpers with an aversion to sex.

    For some extra context my parents marriage nearly fell apart because my dad went through a midlife crisis and being in a sexless marriage on top of other problems he had with my mom made him go crazy. For as much anger as I had towards him for cheating on her, I realized that being in his situation would be a nightmare for me. They ended up getting back together with nothing really changing because he realized if he got a divorce he’d effectively be left with nothing to his name.

    Like I said faith is important too me, but it feels like I need to choose between keeping that and living in a loveless marriage like my dad, or someone who isn’t religious at all which I know will make me unhappy for a completely different reason. Given the choice I’d rather not chose and just stay single forever.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The lord will definitely punish a sexual porn brained glutton.
    Are you choosing a "childfree marriage?" Because that's not a real thing and it should never be. Marriage was to support child making. Otherwise, you're roomates that masterbate eachother and avoid taxes for no reason.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Your wife isn't wrong for not indulging in your borderline perverted acts. Plapping her normally should be enough for you. The problem is probably you fried your brain on porn.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why men hate themselves so much. His wife is out getting fricked by Chad anyway probably doing a billion different things she would never do for him. Women do this self-control nonsense

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You know this got me thunking. There’s an entire fricking subreddit with half a million men complaining about a sexless marriage. Why is this a thing? Why are so many women borderline asexual? Is this why so many civilizations in the past had men marrying women younger than them or having harems?

    Shitposts aside this is probably why I’ll never get married. Hookups and short term relationships get old but it’s better than being trapped in a relationship with a woman who just sits around the house spending my money and expects me to remain in perpetual chastity.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kids. A lot of women have an off switch for their libido when they have kids. It’s like their bodies say “welp, don’t gotta do that anymore”

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        that doesn't explain it. most families today have only include one or two children. until recently it was the norm to have many many children because so few made it to adulthood.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      All of those are blaming the men

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Reddit is a psyop, but he airforce paid people to run accounts making Reddit more Reddit back in the day as an experiment to see if they could engineer a I’m actually culture. Besides that the place is buck broken. That said I think it’s a valid point that so many people are dealing with this shit.

        Kids. A lot of women have an off switch for their libido when they have kids. It’s like their bodies say “welp, don’t gotta do that anymore”

        Sounds about right. Another reason not to have kids these days.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      All of those are blaming the men

      It's partially correct to blame the men, since they enable these women by staying in these stupid "relationships" with them.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This.
        I've been married for over 20 years and have 4 kids. My wife and I have sex at least 3-4 times a week. This is on the high end of normal for a long-term marriage but is still very normal and common.
        Sex is a barometer, a correcting mechanism and a glue in marriage. When one spouse is dissatisfied, it's never just the lack of sex that is the problem. There are always underlying causes, whether mental, physical, emotional or other, small things can suppress sex drive... and this is something you MUST talk about. When you are unhappy about something, correcting your unhappiness becomes YOUR responsibility. Mutual accountability is NOT all bunnies and rainbows. Shit's hard. And important.
        The excuses people make for women to refuse to participate in something that has a disproportionately positive impact on their marriage (building intimacy)is just ridiculous, but OTOH plenty of times the men are helping to lay that foundation too by failing to engender desire in their wife to the maximum extent of their ability. A neglected spouse has little motivation. And just because *you* think you are doing your part, does not mean your husband or wife agrees.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I shit you not women will refuse sex and cumming as revenge against guys

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    She's not performing her wifely duties.

    Just talk about how wild of sex you've had with other women in the past. She's still a female, so she will immediately become threatened by the existence of other women better than she is in bed. A switch will flip in her head to make it so she has to be your best sexual experience.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Just talk about how wild of sex you've had with other women in the past
      Yeah, tried this advice.
      She told me to go cheat if I dare to, and would prefer sleeping around with prostitutes.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Idk why you didn't double down and say thst you'd rather your wife be your bedroom bunny.

        If she's still obstinate, divorce her ass. Remember "better to live in the desert than with a quarrelsome woman"

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'll add to this (samegay)

          This will be your "final straw" situation.
          Get some nice lingerie, put it in a box.
          Get divorce paperwork, put it jn a different box.

          Sit her down and have her open both. Tell her she has to choose right then and there which one she wants. Either sharing some kinky sex with you, or you'll leave her and have it with someone else. Let her know thst you love her still, but you deserve far more than she's giving.

          When she can't decide, or tries to start a screaming match, just box both up, and tell her you're deciding on divorce for her.... thwt she made this decision far easier for you.

          Also, protect your assets.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Sit her down and have her open both. Tell her she has to choose right then and there which one she wants. Either sharing some kinky sex with you, or you'll leave her and have it with someone else. Let her know thst you love her still, but you deserve far more than she's giving.
            Unironically I tried this.
            I gave her an ultimatum, either she agree to sex, or I pack my stuff and leave.
            She agreed to sex but after 10 minutes she started nagging and screaming how uncomfortable she is, the neighbors called the police.
            And for her she has done her part of the deal and even didn't snitch me to the police for DV.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            .. what.

            does she have weird emotional issues? or are you just behaving like a rapist when you try to frick her? based on your shameless porn habits i'm leaning towards the latter.

            your marriage has problems, far bigger than just intimacy. she sounds stupid, but so do you since you're following the advice of idiots here. get an actual marriage counselor.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >does she have weird emotional issues?
            I don't know tbh, I asked her if she has any issues but she denied anything.
            >are you just behaving like a rapist when you try to frick her
            Well, I AM pretty pent up, but I make sure she cums before, and this take the edge off.
            But I'm physically stronger and more threatening looking now than when I married her, since I go to gym to release extra energy.
            >get an actual marriage counselor.
            She refused.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm that anon you responded to.

            So she walks back her promise to you, and you did not follow through on your ultimatum.

            You're actively choosing this situation. I hope the misery you're choosing is nothing but hell. I do not feel bad for you anymore.

            Quit posting here about your plagued marriage, it's exactly what you asked for by not leaving the girl.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Unfortunately, this guy is right. Ultimatums don't work. The last thing you want is "duty sex".

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            They don't work when one is a pussy like op and fearful of actually following through on an ultimatum.

            Op's wife knows she will get away with her shitty behavior, because op is a pushover. She knows how little effort she has to put in, and it's now a game to her to see how much less she can give, and still get rewarded (it's every time)

            Op will never walk away, because he's a pussy.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Good way to rally me guys, keep it up.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Consider my comments your wakeup call. It's blatantly obvious that you've tried most everything, but your wife refuses to do anything.

            Divorce is really your only option now, i hate to say it. But you do you, couldn't be me staying with a broken chick who eats and lives for free and won't have sex.

            But we know you won't reach down and grab your nutsack, and kick the chick to the curb.... so enjoy the reddit-tier situation you wake up and choose on the daily.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >She agreed to sex but after 10 minutes she started nagging and screaming how uncomfortable she is, the neighbors called the police.
            ALERT! ALERT!
            SHITTY LARP CONFIRMED!
            ABANDON THREAD!

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            either that or OP is a rapist, which may be the reason she won't have sex with him.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you have a small pp? It sounds like you have a small pp. Try openly telling her you want to have sex. Ask her if she has any fantasies or anything she wants to explore sexually.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >small pp
      It's 5.8"/5.5"

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Ask her if she has any fantasies or anything she wants to explore sexually.
      I did, but she just want me to rub her clit.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    LARP thread

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I am a young christian man. Everybody tells me that God has somebody for me but I'm scared. All the girls I fall for are always trauma victims. I'm scared of being hurt and I'm scared of being in a sexless, loveless marriage.

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    1- you promised monogamy, but not celibacy.
    2- she promised to forsake all others, implying she wouldn't forsake you.
    3- you don't want sex. You want a "fulfilling, intimate sexual relationship" with her. Don't let her say "all you want is sex."
    4- stop all non-sexual intimacy. It is reasonable to believe that engaging in non-sexual intimacy (hand-holding, cuddling, massages) will eventually lead to sexual intimacy some night(s). Why frustrate yourself?
    5- start bettering yourself. Work out, take care of your appearance and go out by yourself (say you're having a beer with friends, going on a hike by yourself, a movie.
    9- ask to go to marriage counseling. If she refuses, go alone and tell her you are. It will show you are interested in figuring out (a) how to change this situation, (b) live with the situation or (c) leave the situation.

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How important is sexual satisfaction for a long-term relationship?
    It's not that important, but the problem is being attracted to people other than your spouse. Most people who fail to be attracted to their spouse remain attracted to other people.

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Man, I'll remember to count my blessings. My wife wants sex all day long and I don't, and she gets turbo mad when I refuse to have sex.
    Being a human dildo is just as bad, we probably don't vibe well with marriage OP, and we both probably think it's better single, but at the end of the day I know it's ~~*their*~~ plan to reduce marriage to an insufferable hell. They're probably stroking their shriveled rotten dicks to every divorced couple

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    And to add to everything said here, why don't you have kids? What the frick are you doing? The 1 and only and sole purpose of marriage is the raising of kids, don't delude yourself otherwise. If no kids are in discussion, there is no point to any of that marriage crap, even the holy texts say it's better to stay alone (as much as I don't agree with Paul, he has a point here).
    So you've been married for how long, and it's been 8 months since you've even had sex, and you're both religious. By the way, no religion on this earth prohibits sex between married spouses, so what's her reasons for that?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >why don't you have kids
      No sex = no pregnancy
      Children are not brought by storks.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Then why are you 2 still married?

        >The 1 and only and sole purpose of marriage is the raising of kids, don't delude yourself otherwise.
        love when morons say this

        Why would you marry and stay faithful with someone if the kids were never in question? I'm not condescending, I'm just very curious why would anybody do that

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          because I like women and want to grow old with one

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            But imagine this wild scenario, you can love a women who will also have sex with you, as opposed to loving a woman who doesn't have sex with you.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            then i will marry a woman that will have sex with me.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Then you'll have to divorce this one
            >I'm not OP
            Then why the frick are you answering in his name?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            We are all Anonymous. OP doesn't have a name.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            We are legion amirite?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The 1 and only and sole purpose of marriage is the raising of kids, don't delude yourself otherwise.
      love when morons say this

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So you aren't having actual sex because YOU have pr0n brain?
    Fix your shit

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I had this conversation with my wife when she decided she was too tired or not interested in having sex again.

    If I came home from work and she was too tired or not interested in cooking dinner, I'd cook my own. But eventually, after working 10-hour days I'd either stop on my way home to eat or get takeaway.

    If I came home from work and she was too tired or not interested in doing laundry, I'd do my own but I'd eventually drop it off at the laundromat and have someone else take care of it.

    If I came home from work and she was too tired or not interested in sex, I'd take care of myself but I'd eventually have someone else take care of it for me.

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