so I've been living with my boyfriend for a couple years and I love him very much, but 99% of our income goes to rent.

so I've been living with my boyfriend for a couple years and I love him very much, but 99% of our income goes to rent. this leaves almost nothing for food, and every month we barely get by. he suggests that we go live with his parents, but I don't think I can do that realistically. I've thought about selling some stuff to buy a cheap rv to live in temporarily, but he is extremely against this idea. I'm underweight, depressed, and all I can think about is the fear of getting evicted each month. at this point it's quite negatively affecting my career, and I'm worried I might loose it if this continues. wat do

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I suggest you go live with his parents. He’s the man in the relationship, so let him lead. RVs are so easy to break into it’s not even funny. There is no security in an RV. But there is security moving in with his folks. Plus it’d mean less money spent on an RV.
    You do the math. Move in with his parents + save money from wages + wait time for better more affordable apartment/home = problem solved.

    Your boyfriend is the problem solver, so let him do that.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I feel like this is the best option tbh and I do trust my bf, but I have alot of mental hang-ups about this. I have pretty bad OCD so cooking in someone elses house is near impossible for me. I work from home and being in a house where 3 other people are using the internet at the same time is really not good for my job, I also just wouldn't feel comfortable working, eating, and sleeping there in general.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Your bullshit excuses suck, stfu and move in with the folks until you figure something better out

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you're right they are bullshit excuses. I suppose its alright if I loose a couple more pounds

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        suck up your ego already you moronic egoist

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Not OP but you’re being a dick. I dont think you know what an egoist even is

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            egoist is a term in psychology, its not a synonym of selfish you brainlet

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Do you have issues eating other people's food they cooked? Then maybe just ask your bf to make simple food for the period.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          it has more to do with where I'm eating it. its clinically diagnosed OCD so logic tends to go out the window sometimes unfortunately.

          Get a small electric cookplate and some kitchenware that only you can use. And maybe make agreements on a dedicated shelf in the fridge for yourself.

          this is basically what I did when I lived with my parents, but I don't think that'll work here.

          suck up your ego already you moronic egoist

          I don't really see how I'm being an "egoist" here, but I'll try to not be one I guess.

          idk I want to just get over myself, but I'm worried about my weight. Im sure that living there will cause me to loose more weight, and I'm not sure how much more I can loose before it becomes a real problem. I weigh 105lbs at 5'5" for reference. I figure I can probably stand to loose at least 10lbs before its an actual health concern so maybe I should just try and tank it.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you put your ego above whats reasonable and letting it dictate your every being
            its debilitating, you are dysfunctional

            just get over it, you will have to sooner or later unless youre planning on getting institutionalised or offing yourself

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >the the thing that work magically doesnt work now
            see, youre bargaining with yourself
            do you have absolutely no self awareness to see that what youre doing is absolutely ridiculous?

            if youre on ssris quit them because theyre the reason youve lost your ability to self-reference your behaviour and thoughts

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >do you have absolutely no self awareness to see that what youre doing is absolutely ridiculous?

            you put your ego above whats reasonable and letting it dictate your every being
            its debilitating, you are dysfunctional

            just get over it, you will have to sooner or later unless youre planning on getting institutionalised or offing yourself

            This is what OCD does.

            https://i.imgur.com/cAbARDc.jpeg

            so I've been living with my boyfriend for a couple years and I love him very much, but 99% of our income goes to rent. this leaves almost nothing for food, and every month we barely get by. he suggests that we go live with his parents, but I don't think I can do that realistically. I've thought about selling some stuff to buy a cheap rv to live in temporarily, but he is extremely against this idea. I'm underweight, depressed, and all I can think about is the fear of getting evicted each month. at this point it's quite negatively affecting my career, and I'm worried I might loose it if this continues. wat do

            OP are you getting treatment? (Self-administered) exposure therapy works best for me (haven't tried going to the doctor for it so idk). I always remind myself of the fact that one day I am going to die anyway, and it's either I expose myself to the OCD triggers and eat the food and touch the things or spend my whole life stressed out trying to protect it while not actually living it at all, just being holed away from all the "dangers". What am I then protecting anyway, if said protection makes me stop living?
            And it feels so good when you actually start doing the things you thought impossible before with total disregard for the OCD fear mongering, they are actually totally harmless as it turns out.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            this isnt what ocd does, this is what decades of being told you have ocd and self identifying as having ocd does
            your whole idea of self is based around ocd, and your fears are rooted in losing your self, feeding your ocd
            the only solution is to just stop and get over it, nothing else will help you

            and thats actually why i called op a moronic egoist, an egoist because she values her idea of self above reality, and moronic because anyone with a brain would break out of this vicious cycle

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What does ocd do?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            for me? it just makes me want to wash my hands
            not really that bad since i prepare a lot of food and have to anyway, but my hands are always dry

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Are you

            this isnt what ocd does, this is what decades of being told you have ocd and self identifying as having ocd does
            your whole idea of self is based around ocd, and your fears are rooted in losing your self, feeding your ocd
            the only solution is to just stop and get over it, nothing else will help you

            and thats actually why i called op a moronic egoist, an egoist because she values her idea of self above reality, and moronic because anyone with a brain would break out of this vicious cycle

            ? I specifically want him to answer what OCD is according to him.

            [...]
            neither one of you morons has OCD

            What is ocd? What does a person who has ocd do that distinguishes him as such?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            yes

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            for me? it just makes me want to wash my hands
            not really that bad since i prepare a lot of food and have to anyway, but my hands are always dry

            neither one of you morons has OCD

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >muh purity argument
            lick my nuts and tongue my arse

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Get a small electric cookplate and some kitchenware that only you can use. And maybe make agreements on a dedicated shelf in the fridge for yourself.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get better-paying jobs?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Black folk deserve to be called Black folk until they stop being Black folk. Stop being a Black person, Black person.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Move into a cheaper apartment
    >Get a roommate
    >Get a second job

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you guys are both working full time and 99% of your income goes to rent? Are you guys living beyond your means in a lavish penthouse? Find a studio or one bedroom apartment. Even in expensive cities you can find them for around $1200 per month. If you’re both working you should easily be able to afford rent by combining your incomes.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is totally nonsensical.
    First, you have to QUALIFY for an apartment. If the apartment rent is above 30%-35% of your income they literally will not rent to you. You also have utilities and other payments in addition to rent, too, not just 'rent and food'. You obviously never even tried to rent something.
    Second, The average rent in the US is $1,800 so if that is 99% of you income you'd have only $18.20 for food a month - you'd have died a long time ago.
    >I've thought about selling some stuff to buy a cheap rv
    A cheap RV is more expensive than most cars. An RV big enough to live in full time is more expensive than a high-end luxury car. Even used they are expensive PLUS you still have to park them, gas them, pay for utilities, etc. as well as insurance.
    Go peddle fiction elsewhere, your story is more unbelievable than Game of Thrones

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      OP was obviously slightly exaggerating with the 99% rent thing, but I do feel they're not being completely honest on what they've been spending their money on. Either they need to live with the bf's parents or actually learn how to budget.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >If the apartment rent is above 30%-35% of your income they literally will not rent to you.
      That isnt true everywhere, a lot of places will rent to whoever given that they dont have debt history in tax records.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    another option is to move somewhere where there is cheaper rent?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not OP but I always wonder if people who say this have moved ever.. or relocated their entire life ever.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        i do not care in the slightest where i live as long as its comfy

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You are poor because you're holding each other back.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >career
    >scared of losing apartment due to lack of funds
    >moans about depression
    >doesn't agree with the easiest solution to solve most problems
    You are really moronic.
    RVs are cool to travel but you obviously didn't think the idea through. All the logistics (showering, security, inviting people, fricking cooking) will be magnitudes more complicated.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yet another reason why people shouldn't live together before marriage.

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