The real tinder experience

>Be 19, 3.5/10 male. Do everything in my power to improve looks.
>4/10.
>Not fat, go to gym 4x a week, never even kissed a girl.
>Ask friends for help
>Get tinder, Chad friends say it's a good way to get laid.
>Set up a good profile, with help of Chad.
>It's damn immaculate. +I live in big city.
>First day. 10 likes.
>Swipe right on pretty women
>Swipe left on fats
>"You missed a match" x3 in the first day. It's okay, they were all overweight.
>Get ~1 like per day from here on out.
>No luck whatsoever. No matches, all likes are obese people.
>Day 12 of tinder. Depressed. Reality hits like a fricking truck. I will never be loved.
>Get fricking banned. No specified reason. No links in bio, no obscenities anywhere. Haven't gotten a match, so it's literally impossible for me to have chatted with anyone. No way to appeal, and it's permanently associated with my phone number.
Ok. Thanks, life.
>Now go to psychologist and take SSRIs for depression and hating how my body looks.
>Stopped going to school. All I got now is the gym.
>Chad friends still get laid with minimal effort.
I'm fricking empty inside. Completely hopeless, writing this post now as a last cry for help.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tinder is honestly a dogshit way to actually meet people and get laid, if you're friends with Chad and Chad's friends that means you're sociable enough to be in the real world. Just hold on to them for long enough and shit will happen. Why did you stop going to school? That seems like a bigger problem.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Too busy being sad. Almost nothing in life gave me happiness anymore, and all I had was the 1 goal of getting a woman, or at the very least getting laid. School can wait.
      Keep going to the gym, though, as that is the single biggest thing I can do to improve my situation. And I've returned to school twice after a doubling of my SSRIs, but not sure if I'll have the mental strength or motivation to keep going.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        ngl, this seems like poor judgement. I was a virgin until 22, 4 years into university, so I very much understand the feeling of being such an unlovable incel. I also had a massive gym phase and I thought that that made all the difference, and it did, partially, I was legit ugly at times. I'm 23 now after having a gf for a year and a half and I'm a completely different person. That said, looking back, I realised that even when i was so unbelievably lonely and felt unloved, I always had a lot more attention than I thought I did, and that I was fundamentally the problem. I wasn't with anyone because I thought I didn't deserve to be with anyone. Yes, life did kind of frick me over, but I also let life frick me over more than I needed to.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          How do I let life not frick me over?
          It's hard for me to not be convinced at this time that I'm unattractive. Friends tell me I'm unattractive, not to be mean, but to be honest.
          Women tell me this, too. I've asked 3 average ones +me not getting anything on tinder.
          Then there's myself. I have obvious faults in my appearance that I cannot change, and are objectively unattractive.
          Not trying to disrespect your advice, but I really don't know how not to "let life frick me over". To me, it's like saying "just be happy" to someone who's depressed.
          Thanks for caring

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I understand how what I wrote can come off as chadsplaining/'just be happy" type shit, so I'm sorry for it coming off that way. 1) I legit believe that Tinder is a dogshit way of judging attractiveness because some of the hottest people in real life just aren't photgenic and vice-versa. Tinder is more about gaming the system in really tedious ways. I obviously can't see what you look like, but I fundamentally don't believe that anyone is that ugly. don't mean to be crude, but I worked as a personal assistant for disabled people for years (even as a virgin lol) and it killed me that they had cute wives and gfs when I could barely look someone in the eyes, I legit don’t even know how they have sex, but they do, so I didn’t have an excuse, frankly. I don’t have a lot more time to reply but if I can say one more thing that I think might be meaningful - there is no bar that makes a person “worth having sex/relationship” with. When I was an incel for all those years, I was constantly thinking “there’s some sort of quality that makes sex naturally happen to other people, and not to me”, like there was some secret that I wasn’t being let in on, some hidden variable or quality that I lacked. Every other guy had it, and somehow people could figure out that I didn’t have it, which was why I’m still an incel. It drove me fricking insane. Now, with a lot more experience, I can tell you, there is no bar, even though it feels like there is at times. There is no “good enough” for sex/love. Ugly people frick, hot people frick, depressed people frick, crazy people frick. My biggest question was “why should I deserve love? What is the moral argument for me being happy or being with someone?”

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            When I finally managed to not be as much of an incel, I realised an answer (and I know it’s gonna sound weird): “it’s like that scene in Ratatouille where Remy has the strawberry and the cheese. They’re good separately, but they’re incredible together. I should be with someone because we can be great together, we can make eachother better, and by being alone, I am robbing the world of that opportunity. I may be ugly and shitty and deep down selfish and stupid, but I do know how to take care of a girl, how to make her feel good and special. I like this particular girl, and she deserves to feel good. I stopped caring about how much I sucked, and wallowing in self-pity (which I definitely had in spades) and tried to be better for someone else.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I understand how what I wrote can come off as chadsplaining/'just be happy" type shit, so I'm sorry for it coming off that way. 1) I legit believe that Tinder is a dogshit way of judging attractiveness because some of the hottest people in real life just aren't photgenic and vice-versa. Tinder is more about gaming the system in really tedious ways. I obviously can't see what you look like, but I fundamentally don't believe that anyone is that ugly. don't mean to be crude, but I worked as a personal assistant for disabled people for years (even as a virgin lol) and it killed me that they had cute wives and gfs when I could barely look someone in the eyes, I legit don’t even know how they have sex, but they do, so I didn’t have an excuse, frankly. I don’t have a lot more time to reply but if I can say one more thing that I think might be meaningful - there is no bar that makes a person “worth having sex/relationship” with. When I was an incel for all those years, I was constantly thinking “there’s some sort of quality that makes sex naturally happen to other people, and not to me”, like there was some secret that I wasn’t being let in on, some hidden variable or quality that I lacked. Every other guy had it, and somehow people could figure out that I didn’t have it, which was why I’m still an incel. It drove me fricking insane. Now, with a lot more experience, I can tell you, there is no bar, even though it feels like there is at times. There is no “good enough” for sex/love. Ugly people frick, hot people frick, depressed people frick, crazy people frick. My biggest question was “why should I deserve love? What is the moral argument for me being happy or being with someone?”

            >I am robbing the world of that opportunity
            Yeah, I probably am, but I really wish I wasn't. Haven't successfully been able to do anything about it. I sure think I'd be happier with someone, and would like to see them happy as well.
            >I like this particular girl, and she deserves to feel good. I stopped caring about how much I sucked, and wallowing in self-pity (which I definitely had in spades) and tried to be better for someone else.
            100%. Of course I want to stop pitying myself, but damn that is hard when I cannot reach my goals. I am certain that once/if I meet a girl who likes me, and I like her, I'll be happy and there'll be nothing to pity. There aren't any such women yet.
            > but I fundamentally don't believe that anyone is that ugly
            >there is no bar that makes a person “worth having sex/relationship” with
            How? 4/10? Or ugly enough for it to be impossible to get a woman?
            I'd say it's definitely possible for me to get someone, but that requires them having... "an acquired taste" in men to say the least.
            Although there's no "bar for sex/relationship" for me, there's a limited amount of compatible women because of my appearance, and I doubt that number is high. I appreciate your responses, and I try to stay positive where I can.

            >why should I deserve love?
            My answer to that would be, that I take care of myself, and I take care of others. It's a goal I've worked towards for a long time. It's also something others see, while putting in a fraction of what I have. It stumps me how men get women while only being 16.
            There's nothing I am working harder for than this. If I put my whole body and soul towards it without success, I guess my body and soul weren't enough for the task. That thought is inescapable. That's what brings me down, even though it's probably best to stay positive.

            Char limit...

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            When I finally managed to not be as much of an incel, I realised an answer (and I know it’s gonna sound weird): “it’s like that scene in Ratatouille where Remy has the strawberry and the cheese. They’re good separately, but they’re incredible together. I should be with someone because we can be great together, we can make eachother better, and by being alone, I am robbing the world of that opportunity. I may be ugly and shitty and deep down selfish and stupid, but I do know how to take care of a girl, how to make her feel good and special. I like this particular girl, and she deserves to feel good. I stopped caring about how much I sucked, and wallowing in self-pity (which I definitely had in spades) and tried to be better for someone else.

            I understand how what I wrote can come off as chadsplaining/'just be happy" type shit, so I'm sorry for it coming off that way. 1) I legit believe that Tinder is a dogshit way of judging attractiveness because some of the hottest people in real life just aren't photgenic and vice-versa. Tinder is more about gaming the system in really tedious ways. I obviously can't see what you look like, but I fundamentally don't believe that anyone is that ugly. don't mean to be crude, but I worked as a personal assistant for disabled people for years (even as a virgin lol) and it killed me that they had cute wives and gfs when I could barely look someone in the eyes, I legit don’t even know how they have sex, but they do, so I didn’t have an excuse, frankly. I don’t have a lot more time to reply but if I can say one more thing that I think might be meaningful - there is no bar that makes a person “worth having sex/relationship” with. When I was an incel for all those years, I was constantly thinking “there’s some sort of quality that makes sex naturally happen to other people, and not to me”, like there was some secret that I wasn’t being let in on, some hidden variable or quality that I lacked. Every other guy had it, and somehow people could figure out that I didn’t have it, which was why I’m still an incel. It drove me fricking insane. Now, with a lot more experience, I can tell you, there is no bar, even though it feels like there is at times. There is no “good enough” for sex/love. Ugly people frick, hot people frick, depressed people frick, crazy people frick. My biggest question was “why should I deserve love? What is the moral argument for me being happy or being with someone?”

            ... Continuation
            When I see people with good genetics, fricking their lives up with drugs, alcohol, and food, I grow empty inside, and even get angered. How could you frick this shit up with something I'll never be close to having?
            I'd argue that it's even worse seeing those junkies actually GET women, with their problems. I know comparing yourself to people is bad, but damn. Fat, drugged alcoholics pull more than me? Extra points if they are abusive towards their partners. Frick, maybe I should be cheering those women on and see them wither away with their men. I guess I really am an incel. But can you really blame me for feeling this way?
            Thanks for helping out, though.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          How did you meet your gf?

          I'm still 19 years old.

          I'm 22. I remember having those depression phases at your age. Still have them but they're not as bad. My problem is that i'm simply too autistic to get laid now from years of isolation. People and girls initially show me interest but they quickly realize i'm an empty husk.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Did you also look like shit? You also single?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I looked like shit when I was younger and got bullied for it so I naturally distanced myself and went to NSFFW and incel forums for socialization.

            Now i'm better looking and I pretty frequently have girls and guys(i'm not gay) approaching me and flirting with me but i'm simply too autistic to do anything about it so it never goes anywhere.
            Last summer a girl from a nightclub asked me back to her hotel, we got into bed and I didn't know what to do lmao.
            I'm not a KHHV though, just a virgin excluding prostitutes.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >I looked like shit when I was younger and got bullied for it so I naturally distanced myself and went to NSFFW and incel forums for socialization.
            Yeah, people here tell me to frick off from NSFFW and get out in the world.
            But for me being socially active is not such a problem. I get out, drink with people, attend parties. I'm sure if I get someone drunk enough, I would be able to frick them, but I don't do that stuff. I'm not unwilling to put in the work, I'm here dammit actively asking for advice. I just don't have the prerequisites to be a reasonably valuable male.
            I DO have social anxiety, but it's limited when drinking. My social skills are *probably* not the bottleneck.
            It's just that I cannot get anyone (not fat, female) to be interested in me. Women do talk to me, but they act noticeably different when someone hot, or even average comes into the conversation. They are uninterested otherwise. I understand why.
            Thanks for helping out btw

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I get you. Social skills help a lot so make use of them. Even when i'm drunk i'm a stuttering autistic mess. I'm only borderline normie when I hit the absolute sweet spot that rarely happens.

            If you're 4/10 then dating apps probably aren't the best idea. Your best bet would be through a social circle. Go along with your Chad friend and ask him to help you out, be your wingman etc.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >If you're 4/10 then dating apps probably aren't the best idea. Your best bet would be through a social circle. Go along with your Chad friend and ask him to help you out, be your wingman etc.
            Yeah. He's been a real good asset. Again, I'm quite active, so sticking with him goes pretty much without saying, I never refuse an invitation.
            I've not had any results with him, though, + he hooks up with everyone, so that removes and diverts women from my realm of possible partners.
            Maybe I should be asking more for advice on looks. But there's not really much I can actively improve on, except by going to the gym.
            I really think I'm just stuck here. Maybe there's nothing I can do, and I'll just have to accept it. But without increasing my dose of SSRIs, I don't think I can give up, as stated earlier.
            I'm fricking lost at what to do, everyone.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            how can you be a 4/10 If you are fit.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >how can you be a 4/10 If you are fit.
            Because of my facial features being shit. Although I'm not fat, I genetically have a lot of facial fat, and my skin is fricking shit due to acne, and I got dark purple circles under my eyes. My Jaw is also misaligned. If you see me, you'd think nothing good of me. That's probably how women react.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            skin is fixable (imo it's 100% diet, we're not meant to eat gluten or much carbs)

            face fat is fixable (just drop to 5% overall and watch it move)

            jaw alignment is often fixable

            eye circles are fixable

            keep the glow up going bro

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Skin and eye circles
            Did not know that about skin. So just cut down carbs and gluten? That's it? I can probably limit gluten, but what amount of carbs should I be at?
            Is it different if the carbs are slow like buckwheat, or fast like table sugar?
            How do you fix eye circles though? I don't trust google on this one. I sleep ok, I don't smoke or use drugs, alcohol is not the cause. It's not too sunny where I live. I don't really have medical issues.
            The other issues I am actively fixing and I know how to solve.
            Thanks, anon

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It was at a Halloween party that I was hosting. I was wearing a nice suit (which she later told me distinguished me from the other guys) and I really liked her outfit because I thought it was really classy and tasteful. I walked her home and asked her out for coffee the following week. It's that easy folks

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            When did you first have sex?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Keep going to the gym, it's good. How old are you?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I'm still 19 years old.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Are you stupid? School is the #1 facilitator for getting a woman. Try actually TALKING to girls in your classes and study groups and campus shit. College is literally set up to pipeline you pussy if you put in even the bare minimum effort dude. I wish I could go back every day bc once you graduate and become a wageslave the pussy well dries up for good

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          it dried up for you when your dad's subhuman sperm met your mother's subhuman egg and created an ultra subhuman. Keep coping. You're never going back to school.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I know. Same age, not fully moronic, same-ish interests and probably relatable. Maybe I gave up on them too soon.
          Problem is that the same goes for the men, and there are more men than women there, not by a lot. Perhaps 60% are men.
          That's not good enough of an excuse though.
          The excuse is that I'm donkey-ass ugly, and it's fricking hard to get anyone interested, unless you become a charity case by saying how shit your life is and playing with their emotions.
          But yeah, what you said is true. I should be going to school more, and engage with them. I'm not 100% fricked yet. Although I said I was socially active, I do have difficulties making up reasons for talking with people. "Hey, sweetie" is not an opener to get to know someone, neither is "Nice weather" when you look like I do. If I'd want to get somebody, I know damn well it's not with my looks. Getting someone to be my friend would be the only way.
          Thanks for the comment, anon. Had a change of emotions/views writing this.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    well get off the ssris lmfao. they are the single thing having the most impact over your mind/emotions currently. then you can rethink over these things.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      That would probably keep me far too depressed for school, which would keep causing problems later down the line. Perhaps my psychologist would stop trying to help, as I'm refusing their help.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        it will be hard to transition back to normal for the first few months but ultimately you will not be locked down to this level of depression you are going through. It will give you back new perspectives now that you are capable of handling them.

        I'm still 19 years old.

        You are too young. This is the beginning of your life, its supposed to be difficult or else its not worth it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >You are too young. This is the beginning of your life, its supposed to be difficult or else its not worth it.
          So do I just give up on not being single and wait until I grow older?
          Honestly, I don't know if I'll be able to. Seriously.
          Almost everyone around me has a gf/bf. Chad has fricking 3. The only ones who don't, aren't concerned about getting any, so they are chilling. Me on the other hand, I've actively tried to improve myself, since I was 15. 4 years of consistent work, and no results.
          Being single if you never wanted a partner is fine, but having spent 4 years with 0 results is fricking misery.
          I haven't been suicidal. But if I actually just give up I might be.
          The only way is if I take a huge amount more SSRIs and supress my sexual desires into nothing, then I could be happy and unbothered.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >take a huge amount more SSRIs
            >then I could be happy
            Genuinely do this and see how it goes

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Genuinely do this and see how it goes
            Part of me is "yeah, okay funny comment. I don't wanna poison myself more than I have to."
            Other part of me thinks there's actually some value in this. Maybe i should become a pharmagoon junkie and just chemically castrate myself with SSRIs. Doubt this is the preferred method from my psychologist though, and I don't think they'd write me enough meds for this.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Well I mean if you're a 4/10 what did you expect on a platform that's all about looks? You need to be a comfortable 7/10 to be able to frick mid bawds from there consistently. Also what do you consider "big city"?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >what did you expect on a platform that's all about looks
      I took my friends advice. He seems like he knows what to do.
      >Also what do you consider "big city"?
      1 million+ inhabitants. Developed western country. No shortage of social media users.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Men today are so much mentally weak. What happened to us

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >LIFTING AND RED MEAT ARE ALL YOU NEED
      >why are men such mentally weak snowflakes?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        When did I say that? All you needed was a father figure, guess you didn't had one

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just save money and go travel.
    In the West you are a commodity amongst the woman. But in another country you are outlier making you already more intriguing to woman there, making it easier to talk to them. Bonus if you speak their language. I was a turbo-virgin like you until I started to travel and experience real femininity.
    There is a reason why there is slowly being a push against passport bros in social media.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lol just read the title and last part what did I miss? You're a little b***h lmao.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It has a 3:1 ratio m:f ratio.
    Don't Beat yourself up because of it.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      better than I expected tbh, what's tinder's?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        that is tinders
        so right from the start the market is skewed

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Dating apps need a no fat policy.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Get with a fat b***h and convince her to go to the gym with you.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Get with a fat b***h and convince her to go to the gym with you.
      She would leave me. Do you really think today's women have such standards? I wouldn't want to stay with someone like me, dammit.
      The only reason a girl would get with me is if they are really desperate.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Give Facebook Dating a try. That’s where I met my current GF. We are looksmatched and I am probably just as average looking as you and I don’t even lift. Dating apps are typically skewed towards women while stealing money from desperate men.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Give Facebook Dating a try.
      only women still on facebook are 35+

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >FB
        >only 35+

        This is false. My GF just turned 30

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I only went to tinder once, I didn't like the experience. It's purely hook-up culture.
    I live in a big city, I realized I was getting more meaningful interaction while walking my dog. I get approached by women daily, some way too young for me (between 16-18).

    Anyway, my advice is keep working out, reading, and get a cute pet dog.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I've gotten two girlfriends off Tinder, and I still think it's a terrible site for anyone who isn't Adonis
    5'6" manlet here so I feel the pain. Also, it's just soulless window shopping.

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