What makes a man relationship material in your experiences, anons?

What makes a man relationship material in your experiences, anons?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    There has to be some need that's addressed towards the significant other.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Like having a lot of money for a broke SO?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The lack of money is usually has hosts of a number of other underlying things. Your potential partner is not just 'broke'.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          So really having your life together is the big one?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. Don't date below your income bracket.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Grim.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Your potential partner is not just 'broke'.
          This, mostly. I'm a senior SWE, so it's hard to find people in my income bracket who aren't bland robots who look confused and demand an explanation when I send them memes. That said, income bracket isn't the problem imo. If she works a full-time CAREER (not panera bread, a career that she studied and cares about with opportunities for growth), then it's not a big deal. If she's not in my income bracket because she sits around daydreaming all the time of the perfect job falling in her lap or because she didn't go to college or whatever else, then yeah. She's never gonna be anything more than a hookup.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >University is a meme!
            >if you don't care about muh higher education, don't talk to me you white trash.
            Why do career-cels do this?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Did you know that more than one person uses this site, so attempting to correlate everything you read here as though it's from a singular source is genuine insanity?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >The lack of money is usually has hosts of a number of other underlying things
          yeah, like being from a poor family, maybe composed of a single mother... just like a big % of the population
          jfc, women really are moronic

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty much this. The qualification for a relationship is:

      1) dependent on the SO in question
      2) relative to the SO in question

      Thinking "I'll be more attractive if I do X" or "if I have X" or "if I become X" just doesn't work. Increase the odds? Maybe. But this approach is fundamentally misaligned with reality.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You want the honest answer or the NSFFW answer? The honest answer is
    >invests in himself every single day, whether creatively, intellectually, physically, spiritually, etc. what exactly you're focusing on here should be influenced by who you want to end up with
    >at least very basic emotional intelligence and empathy. no woman wants to end up with a gorilla who shuts down and stomps off to the porch to drink scotch every time she shows a molecule of sadness. be willing to admit you're wrong and genuinely self-reflect. be willing to consider that you're the problem and that it takes change with your behavior to fix things
    >be accountable. when she asks you to do shit, do it. if she signals to you that you leave messes around the house, make an effort to clean more.
    >care. she's gonna ask you to go do shit you don't care about like going to a concert for a band you hate or going hiking when you'd rather stay inside or whatever else. if you care about her, just do it. who knows, maybe you'll find something new to enjoy about life
    I try to follow this advice, and I've never been in a wholly unhappy relationship. If you follow the typical advice you'd find on this site, you're gonna get stuck in the self-propagating self-hatred spiral that is inceldom. Just be a decent human being who listens, invests in himself, and cares, and you'll already be better than 90% of men on the market.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Really do appreciate this type of advice.

      The honest answer is you will click with someone at your level of maturity. There is no one size fits all. Look at the world, there are all kinds of people together.

      My issue is that only one of the women I’ve met since leaving university has wanted a relationship and even that didn’t go well. Just figured I might be the issue in this and not “modern women” or some other meme.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        How old are the women you're looking at and where about are you located? I'm matching mostly with 20-to-30-year-olds, and the older they get, the more serious they get about finding someone to wind down with. This is in urban cali, so it's kind of a tossup whether my matches are functional human being or just dopamine foragers. The former is a good basis for pursuing a relationship. The latter is trouble.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The way you phrased that sounds like you're being passive. Men should be approaching women, this is what they're waiting for. Notice I said approach and not chase, there is a difference. You are giving her an opportunity for you two to get to know each other better, she has the right to take it or leave it, simple as.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          My issue is that I currently don’t find socialising very interesting. But I think you’re right.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >no woman wants to end up with a gorilla who shuts down and stomps off to the porch to drink scotch every time she shows a molecule of sadness. be willing to admit you're wrong and genuinely self-reflect. be willing to consider that you're the problem and that it takes change with your behavior to fix things
      Not a good advice. When you start changing your behavior, fix things etc, she'll just going to show you more character and mood. Generally. On the contrary, when you completely disregard what she shows and says (relationship wise) and just stick to your dumb monke ways, she learns it's ineffective and either fixes things herself (oftentimes there's nothing to fix, men are simple beings and it's mostly her fault anyways), or dumps you/sabotages the relationship (she didn't like you enough).
      >If you follow the typical advice you'd find on this site you're gonna get stuck in the self-propagating self-hatred spiral that is inceldom
      Overall I agree. No need to be needy, demanding, unloving, cruel, vocally misogynist, etc. I just disagree with the compromise part - unfortunately women themselves don't know what they want, so listening to her/being perceptive of her emotions just make 2 clueless people. It's generally ok to walk out.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I'd add that there are plenty of things you SHOULD compromise on, like furnishing, home improvement, event planning, family gatherings, and similar things. Women thrive in this. It also allows her to feel like she contributes.
        But relationship/behavior/psychological compromise is overall counterproductive even if it feels like an easier decision in the moment. I'm 100% sure this is true.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The honest answer is you will click with someone at your level of maturity. There is no one size fits all. Look at the world, there are all kinds of people together.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just be Chad.
    That's all there is to it.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you're willing to be a cuckold your options are endless.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Are there any kinds of people who are inherently unfit for a relationship? I’ve been doing some thinking

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      There are all kinds of relationships but I would argue as a general rule that people should always work on themselves. Not in the sense of secondary attributes like skills but internally, the things that drive them to live inauthentically and make poor decisions.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Traits and characteristics necessary for a man to possess in order to be considered relationship material in no particular order

    • Self esteem and self love
    • Relatively well adjusted mental health
    • Agreeability and temperament complimentary or compatible with hers
    • Values, life goals, world view and potential similar or on par with hers
    • Adequate social skills
    • Adherence to social norms and expectations
    • self respect
    • mutual physical attraction
    • an active in person social life, including established friendships
    • Financial potential and ambition
    • Life experience & maturity
    • Independence, including but not limited to not living with nor financially dependant on your parents
    • health outlooks relative to her own
    • genetics compatible with hers
    • good hygiene

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I think I will end up alone

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Same.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I just wish it didn’t make me feel sad

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The actual list:
      • mutual physical attraction

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        No. Everything on the list is necessary. Every last bit of it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >adherence to social norms and expectations
          LMAO. Entire subcultures would vanish if this were true

          Traits and characteristics necessary for a man to possess in order to be considered relationship material in no particular order

          • Self esteem and self love
          • Relatively well adjusted mental health
          • Agreeability and temperament complimentary or compatible with hers
          • Values, life goals, world view and potential similar or on par with hers
          • Adequate social skills
          • Adherence to social norms and expectations
          • self respect
          • mutual physical attraction
          • an active in person social life, including established friendships
          • Financial potential and ambition
          • Life experience & maturity
          • Independence, including but not limited to not living with nor financially dependant on your parents
          • health outlooks relative to her own
          • genetics compatible with hers
          • good hygiene

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            False.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The amount of married couples I've seen who were tatted up, had ridiculous piercings, extremely weird hobbies, autistic cult like habits, and basing their identities around being the video game/anime/tabletop/movie nerd/etc. well into their 30s both irl and online disproves that point.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >self love and self esteem
      Mostly irrelevant if they're hot enough.
      >well adjusted mental health
      Irrelevant for short term flings
      >agreeability
      A hindrance for short term flings, thus no chance for anything long term
      >values
      Eliminates most women older than 22 or not in college
      >adequate social skills
      You're not going to tolerate being around a guy who is merely adequate in that department back when it mattered
      >adherence to social norms
      lmao, no, try again single mother
      >mutual physical attraction
      You're either fat and shooting for the stars or a single mother based on the requirements listed so far, good luck
      >blah blah blah
      Just tell us your BMI and how many bastards you have in tow.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Relatively well adjusted mental health
      >Agreeability
      >Financial potential and ambition
      completely optional

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >be attractive
    >don't cheat on me

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly, if you're tall, have a big dick/good at sex, have a masculine/attractive face and have at least some emotional intelligence, 90% of women will want you, everything else is more niche

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      you know how rare that combination of traits is. let's define tall as 6'2+ ( 4% of the population in the US), a genuine attractive face is even rarer. ( let's say 2%). A big dick ( 7x5" is 95th percentile). women are deluded

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I'm not a woman, I live in a country where the average height is 5'11, most of my peers are easily 6'1 and above with masculine faces and wide jaws sporting decent semi-athletic builds while I'm 5'10 with a 4" dick and a recessed chin from being obese during most of my childhood and teenage years, and to top it all off I'm also the shortest male in my own family where no male was under 6'

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          you're either coping or haning round mt olympus. I live in the netherlands ( tallest place on earth) and even at 6'3 I'm noticeably taller than average. there is no correlation between looks and height. in fact there might be a negative correlation. the taller you are the more your face become elongated and the bigger chance you have of your facial ratios getting fricked up. a tall and handsome man is very very rare

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I live in Croatia and idk fricking why but my whole life I'm literally always put into situations where I make friends or accomplices with fricking people 6'4 and above, like it's not even funny, my roomate I live with in Czechia right now is easily over 6'5, my coworkers I used to worm the night shift with were 6'8 and 6'6 respectively, my online friend group of 5 people went 6'1, 6'2, 6'5, 6'5 and me at 5'10, my best friend in highschool was 6'3, God is making fun of me considering my dad was 6'4 and my grandpa 6'6
            >the taller you are the more your face become elongated and the bigger chance you have of your facial ratios getting fricked up
            This depends more on your parents' looks than the fact of how tall you are, granted I've seen some tall people with fricked up proportions but so have I with shorter people too
            I think my main problem is the face and dick area, I'm more pissy about my height because I'm surrounded by giants

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I am only 6’, have gone bald(been told by almost everyone, my most brutally honest friends included, that I look fine with no hair), have a jawline, a full beard, a near abnormally deep voice, a four pack, and what has been described as a large penis by every girl who’s been brave enough to comment on it.

      Given I still only get one night stands and very brief flings, I am convinced my issues are my failings in life.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >attractive
    >responsible
    >skills to pay bills
    >social skills
    >constructive
    >caring
    >doesn't take shit

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    not a checklist, just things that have drawn me in as singular traits, though im luckily with someone that has all these aspects. beyond that, main concern was if our dynamic as individuals play well.
    >sense of humor
    >intelligence
    >compassion
    life is short, i just want someone to talk nonsense with me. i get to do silly voices and hang out with someone that likes when i hug them. we can talk about the mysteries of existence at 2 am, and then make fart jokes because we're both lactose intolerant. all that matters in a relationship is being a team, and i think we work well together. everything else seems unimportant, in comparison.

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