Why do I feel so bad about a Chick that I got over?

I'll try to make this short. But I had developed feeling for a Family friend who's also in a couple of friends group as me. I asked her out two different times she just gave me the old I'm not ready and I'm busy excuses, after many other mixed signals later... I just said frick it I'll just dip out for a bit and let my feelings relax so I wouldn't obsess over her. She noticed and got pretty nervous every time I saw her ( I kept my distance), but a month in I came up to her (she looked really pissed) I just told her "I'm not avoiding you, I just need time to myself" she immediately went "nah that's alright man" then left looking nervous. I eventually got over her and stopped having all the romantic thoughts. I decided to text her and just sent her "Ill see you around" with a funny meme to just break the tension and to let her know I'm all good now. she never responded and the next time I saw her she was angry again... I went up to her to tell her I'm over it and that i just wanted to stay on good terms. she just said yeah with a really fake nervous smile like she was really mad... and now we just ignore each other... what happened? and why am I upset at this? I would have thought she would have been relieved, but she's pissed now??? I only just wanted to give her space and have things go back to normal... why is she mad at that?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, my homie. It’s because you showed her that it is entirely doable to cease desiring her. Women love to feel desired, even if they don’t reciprocate the desire, they at least revel in knowing they are desirable.

    And you demonstrated that this can be taken away. She probably also dwelled on you a bit for that, since you had just demonstrated that you have value. She most likely has, or had feelings for you because of this, but they’re no doubt mixed feelings. Probably composed of a fear of missing out/loss of desirability/tension that spilled over into her emotions.

    Either way you did good and should remain as you are, don’t chase her and don’t plan on it either. Because she’s showing you even still that she is someone who does not know what she wants. Dating someone who doesn’t know what they want = shit relationship.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Interesting, I guess now after reading your response, I understand that, I'm more disappointed in the fact that she never wanted to say no to me because she wanted the attention. Like when I was hanging out with her I genuinely thought she was enjoying the company and conversations. I understand that women love attention but its kinda messed up to use a family friend to boost your ego... worst part is I also know what's causing her problems and its fixable but she doesn't want to put the effort to fixing it. Yeah I really dodged a bullet.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >what happened?

        you kept bringing up dumb serious drama shit. if you had just stayed cool and fun, you'd be in a lot better position. but you insisted on making a big production of telling her multiple times that you were over her when it was obvious you weren't.

        >and why am I upset at this?

        because you're an emotionally immature man-baby. this is apparent from this look at you completely 180 from one extreme to the other: one minute you want to date her, the next you're suggesting you've dodged a bullet. your indecisiveness and flippant reaction is a major turn off.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm really confused man, Its just that I always told her she didn't have to go out with me if she didn't want to but she kept insisting that she was interested at the same time, on top of that she would keep trying to flirt with me every time I saw her and then go cold and ghost me IRL she never really initiated texts, conversations, or contact. I just started to distance myself because tons of people had advised me it would be the only way to stop thinking about her non stop ( and it worked). I only told her I was over her because I didn't want her to think that I hated her because she wasn't interested in me and I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable seeing me around or if she visited my house. I honestly felt like she wasn't interested and the best thing was to let it go and that she was uncomfortable with me having feelings for her.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Its just that I always told her she didn't have to go out with me if she didn't want to

            why would you ever say this? how on earth is it beneficial?? don't tell women shit. show them with your actions. if you wanted to remain friends, just be cool and be her friend. you don't have to establish where your relationship is every time you interact with her.

            imagine you and your best friend had a fight and made up and then every time you saw him after he immediately says "we're still friends, right? right??" wouldn't that shit get old after awhile? that's what you're doing to this woman.

            >I honestly felt like she wasn't interested and the best thing was to let it go

            but you didn't let it go. you always brought up the past instead of actually moving on like you said you were going to.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No I moved on its just she kept getting madder and madder about everything she never communicated to me, Id ask her to hang out sometime and she kept saying she was busy (I had feelings for her for 4 months in total (that's the time span she kept telling me she was busy) never once did she invite me to hang out with her. It took me two and a half months to get over her that entire time she never tried to even contact me or tell me how she felt for like in a total 6 and a half months. I had to get over her cause nothing ended up happening. If she wanted me to be with her she would have asked me to hang out, text me, or at least tell me how she feels. But I got nothing form her, so to me she obviously never cared about how I felt so she was being self centered. I don't care who you every one has time in the span of 6 months

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you're right. she wasn't interested. that doesn't mean she's self-centered. women don't tell guys they're not interested directly because of your exact reaction: now you're mad at her and she's a self-centered b***h for soft rejecting you when you should have taken the hint months ago.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No, the difference is that I know her IRL, this isnt a tinder match, she knows me and my family, she either could have just told me, or just been okay with me losing intrest instead she just kept playing for zero reason, then got mad for because a guy she didnt like got over her.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >okay i'm finally over you, can we hang out now?
            >no? then you're just a stupid self-centered c**t

            no clue why you thought this was an acceptable approach or a healthy emotional reaction, but here we are. she probably wasn't mad that you got over her but because you kept bringing it up and making sure she knew. over and over again.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No, It wasn't, I never said anything mean to her, she kept flirting with me and leading me on I just came to my senses, If she didn't care about the attention she would have been okay with everything but she is the on who go nervous when I first stopped talking to her. you sound like a major simp, who defends women at any point. I literally did nothing wrong she is an adult and she can tell me simple stuff. You are putting the entire load on the guy and acting like women can't have capacity to say simple shit, I've had women in the past reject me and me rejecting them it was always straight forward this is probably the strangest I've had.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            lol, now you're doing it to me! i'm not saying exactly what you want to hear so now i'm a simp for women lmfao. your inability to read between the lines got you into this predicament which could have been COMPLETELY AVOIDED had you kept your spaghetti in your shirt sleeves.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            LMAO, what ever roastie good luck larping lucking as a man

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Also WTF you're telling me to stay with her but also ignore her what are you smoking?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            never said either. no wonder you're constantly confused.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >never said either. no wonder you're constantly confused.
            yeah you are dumbass your rants make no sense you're just mad about the last dude that ghosted you

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Also I neve called he a c**t I said I realized she was self centered (I'm starting to think I'm talking to a woman with bpd)

            Are you drunk or ESL? You write like a child.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Also I neve called he a c**t I said I realized she was self centered (I'm starting to think I'm talking to a woman with bpd)

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            LMAO, what ever roastie good luck larping lucking as a man

            keep asking women to define your relationship every time you interact with her and see how far it gets you.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            yeah its a fricking relationship both of you have to want it moron

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Lmao she is not self-centered. Take a hint, people don't owe you their time or anything else. Imagine someone spends 4 months not taking a hint that you don't want to hangout and then you see them months later and the first thing they say is "oh I'm totally over you romantically". As other anons said, communicate via actions not words. If someone has to vocalize that they are XYZ, instead of demonstrating via action it's usually not true.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is pretty straightforward. She was a platonic friend who did not see you that way. You made things awkward by asking her out when she didn't feel that way about you, then made them even more awkward when you made a big drama about everything.

    It's all great that you feel satisfied or whatever, but you have essentially destroyed your friendship in the process. She will forever be weird being around you now because she doesn't want to do something you take as a signal that she's interested in you when she really isn't and never will be.

    The more you went on about it the more you permanently fricked your friendship. Just let it go, forget about her. Maybe with time (a year or more) things might change to he less awkward. But as they are just leave her alone and stop bothering her.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao she is not self-centered. Take a hint, people don't owe you their time or anything else. Imagine someone spends 4 months not taking a hint that you don't want to hangout and then you see them months later and the first thing they say is "oh I'm totally over you romantically". As other anons said, communicate via actions not words. If someone has to vocalize that they are XYZ, instead of demonstrating via action it's usually not true.

      You guys sound like you googled how to talk to people and then read a bunch of self help books

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao she is not self-centered. Take a hint, people don't owe you their time or anything else. Imagine someone spends 4 months not taking a hint that you don't want to hangout and then you see them months later and the first thing they say is "oh I'm totally over you romantically". As other anons said, communicate via actions not words. If someone has to vocalize that they are XYZ, instead of demonstrating via action it's usually not true.

      Sorry man generally all the chicks I've asked out all ways give me a straight answer, and Most of my friends were telling me to purse her until a period of time where they told me to get over it. I didn't just do this all by myself. plus one more thing she was going though some stuff at the first 2 months where If you knew the situation you would have agreed with me ( my friends had said the same thing as well to me) I didn't just do everything off of my own judgment, plus its didn't help that Id be with her and everyone and their mother would tell us we should date. Look there is a lot more to it in the back story, Its just that at the time these seemed to be the right moves.

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