why dont women just approach men. i dont understand

why dont women just approach men

i dont understand

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's not socially acceptable.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have 7 times with varying levels of directness (ranging from straight cold approach to social engineering so I can talk to him) and varying levels of success. Unsure if the men counted as Chads or Brads, I have very specific fetishes.
      Like said it is less socially acceptable and women who are weird and autistic like me are more likely to do it. That or loud, boisterous women.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Tell me more, you have piqued my interest. Maybe I can help.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I will take any opportunity to share this obsession I have.
          I've refined my process so the last two times I was more natural.
          My initial trials:
          >identify random men at my university
          >take note of their usual routes
          >search them on social media if possible to ensure they are single
          >"hey, I noticed you around and want to get to know you better. Would you like to grab coffee some time?" Cue social media exchange or date set-up
          Outcomes were unsuccessful dates, one was flabbergasted and scared, one stood me up, and one was so charmed he reached out to me twice later and we had a second date a year after (we were incompatible)
          New process, tailored to situation:
          >research classmate on social media
          >timed everything perfectly so I would sit next to him in class, took all possible opportunities to speak to him and prolong our contact
          >propose we do group project together
          >we end up becoming friends
          This worked...sort of...but I was emotionally devastated by this relationship due to an obsession that preceded our contact by a year. He was also the most attractive to me, his face was an art piece. And he was so sexy, slender, and small.
          Anyway, life goes on. Hope he's well.
          Second situation:
          >man works at a stand in the mall, I purposely do eye contact "flirting" to establish that I think he's attractive (I stare at him then look away but with enough time that he notices)
          >after a few times of doing this he knows I exist
          >just go up and speak to him
          >finesse a casual conversation which naturally escalates because I am already in his mind
          >exchange social media, text, date
          Also incompatible but this was okay. This was the only tall one, by the way.

          I'm excited to see where my new social skills will get me since I've also gained some via normal, platonic socialization. Any tips I would appreciate so I can improve even further. I currently have eyes on someone and completed my research phase.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the most extroverted ones do to brads and chads

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This

      I am an ugly motherfricker and got approached before. Chad probably gets approached 10 times a day.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      can confirm
      t. chad

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In high school I had a girl who just casually got up and sat next to me. I’m not sure what was trying to achieve there but I literally just froze up. This was in a McDonalds

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      women who do quickly learn that men aren't prepared for it. they freeze up like , or are too suspicious to trust the approach, or are too clueless to realize what is happening, or too busy to care. men don't have a place in their mind for "women may approach me", so they don't have prepared responses and ways to handle it.

      women do. it's just how we're socially aligned. women don't approach men because it's almost guaranteed to fail. women are also cruel, so if she approaches someone and is rejected, other women will gossip about her, and suddenly she's a loser or a bawd or whatever you can imagine. she might start getting harassed by guys who now think she's easy, because a lot of the time female approaches are assumed to be sexual, not romantic.

      basically... the world is designed in such a way to make men unreceptive and to punish women for trying.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Being direct worked for my gf.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          that's wonderful; she must have hit the lottery. i'm not trying to say "women shouldn't approach, it's bad to do it" or anything, i'm just telling you why most don't. we're discouraged at every turn by every factor imaginable. neither of us can change the way things are.

          like

          This. As a guy, if a girl approached me, my gut instinct would be to look for cameras and think this is just some cruel prank because i looked goofy or some shit, OR that my mind was playing tricks and she was 'just being nice' like we hear all the time in this board. I'd be so on guard that I wouldn't be able to make the connection of a serious attempt.

          And that double sucks because in reality i'd be flattered and relieved if someone were to do it. It's tiring being the initiator

          says; even if it's what both parties want, there's a serious trust issue going on. i think many women do approach, but they're usually in secure social groups with no fear of consequences. people who are more isolated are more likely to be discouraged by the many hurdles in the way of the process; men are too.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This. As a guy, if a girl approached me, my gut instinct would be to look for cameras and think this is just some cruel prank because i looked goofy or some shit, OR that my mind was playing tricks and she was 'just being nice' like we hear all the time in this board. I'd be so on guard that I wouldn't be able to make the connection of a serious attempt.

        And that double sucks because in reality i'd be flattered and relieved if someone were to do it. It's tiring being the initiator

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because women already have an excess of men wanting to date them, so they don't have look for more men. Before you go NSFFW there are also mechanics that work against them (such as men ruling over them, sex bringing pain), just not in the pool of men wanting to dating them.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >such as men ruling over them

      Where are my assigned female slaves

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >why isn't my specific idea of what you said happening?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Pray tell me how can I rule over females then

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The short answer is by loving them, the long answer is laying down your life for them. I'm going to sound like either a misandrist or a misogynist depending on the person reading this, but i am a true neutral.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Did you hit your head? You are not making any sense.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >by loving them
            Man here. That claim is counter-factual. I have always loved them, but never had my love returned.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It may be that it's true, but your definition of love is false.

            Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Don't quote scripture, scum

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Why not?

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Woman have just walked up to me twice. One was actually a pretty decent yet mentally ill girlfriend and the other was a roastie i ghosted day one. It is actually my policy to not ask woman out anymore, if they are for me they'll go 4 it./

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They do. I'm in my late thirties and with one exception, all of my girlfriends approached me first. If you're not being approached by women then you're not attractive enough, simple as.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    scary

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What is scary?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        that's wonderful; she must have hit the lottery. i'm not trying to say "women shouldn't approach, it's bad to do it" or anything, i'm just telling you why most don't. we're discouraged at every turn by every factor imaginable. neither of us can change the way things are.

        like [...] says; even if it's what both parties want, there's a serious trust issue going on. i think many women do approach, but they're usually in secure social groups with no fear of consequences. people who are more isolated are more likely to be discouraged by the many hurdles in the way of the process; men are too.

        >people who are more isolated are more likely to be discouraged by the many hurdles in the way of the process

        i'm an aspergers-riddled individual who does not often find themself in secure social group settings. saying "excuse me" to someone standing directly in front of subway doors is scary, let alone approaching someone first.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What the "black pill" fails to show is that there is someone for everyone.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No dude. Is the woman the one that always makes the first approach. She would put herself in a situation where YOU have the chance to talk to her. Because is the woman who chases not the man. To have a chance first you must be pre-selected by her.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Every time I have ever approached a guy they either treat me like I'm joking, reject me in a embarrassing and cruel way, lead me on and keep me on the back burner while they pine for their oneitis, or assume I want to have an immediate hookup or fwb rather than a long-term bf and get irate when I don't give them sex immediately.
    I'd rather not approach men ever again.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What state do you live in. There's my approach, ball is in your court

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >they either treat me like I'm joking, reject me in a embarrassing and cruel way,
      Because men nowadays are never approached and we see it as a prank or some shit.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because women REALLY are that fricking stupid.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    women are subjected to a lot of shaming (mainly from other women themselves) that approaching men on their own is "bawd" behavior.

    Women don't approach men but women 10000% give "indicators of interest". She will place herself in a place where she's easy to approach if she's interested in you.

    Surprisingly, what OP said rings true in a way: you don't actually choose your partner, women choose you. You're not in control of this ride.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw women have never approached me
    Uhhh does that mean they're too scared cause I'm handsome or because I'm ugly and not worth it?

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    easy
    because they don't have to

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