Wife died. Suicide?

My wife died from thyroid cancer 3 weeks ago. In my bed. Next to me. She was young. After years of happy marriage, sharing cute moments she is dead. All of this, just for only person I ever loved to die. I feel dead as well, but I'm still here. I don't know what to feel . Cry, laugh, die? It's now all the same. My only sparkle in life faded away. I'm experiencing extreme psychotic breaks. I'm throwing things in my home. I'm having nightmares. Something is teeling me that I should have saved her but I didn't.
My other side of the bed is cold. I can't sleep. It reminds me of painful death. But I can still feel her touch there.
I will never get over this. Never. My life is literally over. I'm empty. I feel nothing no more. They take her away from me.
I was thinking about suicide.
I feel like this is my only option and that every other person would do this as well. Life just isn't worth living anymore.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    There's plenty more to do. you can try to help others, somehow. Ease some of the pain here on Earth while you're around. Give that a shot. You can die anytime -- its not hard.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      What the frick is point of living without only person I ever loved? The only person that ever made my life happy and died right Infront of me?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        What did she like? What was she passionate about?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          She was artistic soul. She liked drawing, music etc. She was also a big gamer, and liked computer science.

          >What the frick is point of living without only person I ever loved?
          Probably she would want you to go on.

          You mean go to other women? Absolutely fricking no.

          Yes, Go see her Anon. unless you're a manprostitute who don't love her

          or you can cope with drugs. idk why God did that to her

          Im already like Im on drugs. I'm seeing things, breaking stuff, screaming and having hallucinations and nightmares. I didn't sleep for three days.

          Its just what I said. If you're already at the point where you dont care whether you live another day, you've entered the bonus round of life. Where you are free from internal constraints. Do something worthwhile before you die, if you should have a nice day eventually

          What should I do before I die?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Make the world better for having known you. Every person is capable of doing something only he could do. Hypothetically speaking, you could even kill a politician

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >You mean go to other women? Absolutely fricking no.
            No, I meant to go on living.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You could try honoring those passions in some way

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >What the frick is point of living without only person I ever loved?
        Probably she would want you to go on.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          No, she'd want you to have a nice day so you can spend eternity with her in a perfect world of existence together. frickboy

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Its just what I said. If you're already at the point where you dont care whether you live another day, you've entered the bonus round of life. Where you are free from internal constraints. Do something worthwhile before you die, if you should have a nice day eventually

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        But she would have wanted you to keep living, right?
        It would have made her sad if you were to die because of her.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm sorry to hear of your loss, anon.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, Go see her Anon. unless you're a manprostitute who don't love her

    or you can cope with drugs. idk why God did that to her

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Your wife wouldn't want you suffering. go see her, blud

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You need a psych ward for suicide watch. Unironically. My uncle died of lung issues and my aunt didn't pitch a tantrum. She was devastated but she wasn't seeing things or talking about ending her life.

    You need actual, unironic suicide watch. Go to an ER and tell the triage nurse your wife suddenly died from cancer and that you're going to hurt yourself

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >You need a psych ward for suicide watch. Unironically. My uncle died of lung issues and my aunt didn't pitch a tantrum. She was devastated but she wasn't seeing things or talking about ending her life.
      >You need actual, unironic suicide watch. Go to an ER and tell the triage nurse your wife suddenly died from cancer and that you're going to hurt yourself
      This.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Brace yourself for the worst years of your life, you're already in them. But like anything and everything, it will pass.
      Seek help like said.
      A part of you died. You will have to completely rearrange your conceptions about life and find meaning in something/someone else. This is a reeeeally slow process, and you WILL need help.
      There isn't much to do right this moment besides grieving, but try to function as much as you can, whenever you can. I'm really sorry this happened to you, nobody deserves it. I wish you find support and start your recovery journey asap man.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        So I need to find a psychiatrist or something.

        Your wife loved you, very much, She still does. And if you have a nice day, she dies another death. If you aren’t around to keep her memory alive, she’s dead again. Because of you, we know who she was. If there is no you, no one can know.

        She does not want you to die.

        What the frick. So I have to stay alive I'm this hell. I hope I at least die soon (not from suicide)

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          All you gotta do is live, even if it hurts like Hell right now. Soon the pain will lessen, and even that will be hard because you’ll feel panga of guilt for not feeling as severely in pain. Sometimes, you might miss the pain, because you’ll feel the pain you hate right now was at least one last connection to her. But after this Hell, you’ll have fond memories of her, you’ll always keep those. She gave them to you, her gift to you. And you can only appreciate what she left you if you remain alive. So don’t let her death be in vain, bro. Live for her, and when you get to know joy again, know that you carry pieces of her into that joy.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          If there is any chance you're going to hurt yourself then go to an emergency room and explain to the triage nurse that your wife died suddenly from cancer and that you're going to hurt yourself.

          If you're absolutely stable now and won't hurt yourself, then make a doctors visit with a psychiatrist, and then consider therapy for grief counseling. I think you need both, but drugs work whether you want them to or not, therapy only works if you want it to work.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Nah why waste resources on someone who wants to die. They should foe instead of being a worthless husk, leave more space for the living.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Worshiping a marriage over the unconditional love of Jesus Christ is just so cringe, man. So cringe I mean so cringe. Bro, you are so happy right now that you can feel shit. Us over here? Ever been there when the chronic pain just makes you laugh like you know some shit? Unconditional love means no conditions. Worshipping a marriage over the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. Kids hate that.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Your wife loved you, very much, She still does. And if you have a nice day, she dies another death. If you aren’t around to keep her memory alive, she’s dead again. Because of you, we know who she was. If there is no you, no one can know.

    She does not want you to die.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'm sorry for your loss anon.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It’s your life. You were going to die anyway. Shame about the emotional pain. This is why you don’t get attached to things.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My condolences. Grief is one of the hardest things you will experience, but your wounds will become less raw with time.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I am so sorry for your loss anon <3 But please know that NDEs are seriously irrefutable proof that heaven really is awaiting us all because (1) people see things during their NDEs when they are out of their bodies that they should not be able to under the assumption that the brain creates consciousness, and (2) anyone can have an NDE and everyone is convinced by it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U00ibBGZp7o

    So every atheist or materialist or agnostic would be too if they had an NDE, so pic related is literally irrefutable proof of life after death. As one NDEr pointed out:

    >"I'm still trying to fit it in with this dream that I'm walking around in, in this world. The reality of the experience is undeniable. This world that we live in, this game that we play called life is almost a phantom in comparison to the reality of that."

    If NDEs were hallucinations then extreme atheists and neuroscientists who had NDEs would agree that they were halluinations after having them. But the opposite happens as NDEs convince every skeptic when they have a really deep NDE themselves.

    Because of all of this, your wife is literally in paradise now, dancing and laughing on streets of gold and rainbows and flying around in magical forests, and so forth. And she can see into your mind and your feelings and your thoughts.

    Check out YouTube. There are thousands of NDEs there, and reading about or listening to NDEs lessens or removes the fear of death and grief.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder it is illegal in America to persuade someone to commit suicide

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Thats pretty bad, it probably isnt advice you need here, go to a psych ward

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Go to Thailand and clear your head with some asianpuss. Worked4me.

    Here's some good info for ya:
    https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/413299204/

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Well at least you got to experience love, homosexual. If you have a nice day what should 30 years old kv men do? I did love a woman too, for all my youth, and she never gave a shit about me.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    this is the only thread that has an actual problem, rest of the board is just sad awkward losers pissing and moaning about nothing lol

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Damn anon, you have my deepest condolences. Cannot begin to understand the pain you feel everyday.

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