Wife only has sex in the dark

We just got married around 10 months ago. We've known each other for like 6 years prior to this point, super strong bond. All good on that front. We mutually agreed to wait until marriage. Everything is going great actually. Even sex itself is great, just with one quirk. She admitted she's only comfortable doing it in the dark. I was fine with this because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable but I wanted to ask, is this a normal thing? I've never heard of it.

I asked her about it and why she does it and she explained that she's just not comfortable enough yet and it embarrasses her to be seen naked and she hopes she can overcome it with my help. But it doesn't make sense to me how you'd be more comfortable having sex than being seen naked. It's not like she has anything wrong with her, I can roughly see her body and there's literally nothing to even be ashamed of even if that was a valid way to think lol. If you spoke to her you'd never assume she's this type of person which is why it took me by surprise, she's very confident.

I would ask actual people I know but all of my other friends who are girls are also her friends so it'd embarrass her, and I'm not ready to ask my mom or aunts since it'd do the same and also be kinda awkward.

Anyone know how I could help her through this lack of self esteem without embarrassing her?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My husband is the same way. Unfortunately you can't change people. I put on a dim light and he seems ok with that. God bless

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How long have you been married? My wife will barely do a dim light, all I have to go off is the light from the street lamps, my eyes adapt to it after a while but if I'm honest I would like to see her face not gonna lie. But you can't force em, you're right.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Who could've thought that waiting until marriage could result in sexual incompatibility

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Except the sex is great, you didn't read the OP. I'm fine with minimal lights and she's said it's something she's trying to get over. My issue is the self esteem issues that it's exposed to me, not sex itself.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yeah basically this. may as well rope yourself OP. The seeds to a divorce have been planted.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can always try to get some night vision googles or something.

    Jokes aside I think your wife is just embaressed of showing you something of her body, like some chub or a tatoo. Or in the other side she may have a fetish with it, like blindfolding.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    She probably has blemishes or stretch marks or anything. It's definitely more embarrassing to be seen naked than to have sex, because skin contact generally feels good regardless what the skin might look like, and you can't really fake how much you're enjoying it. She doesn't have to worry that you're just being polite.

    Get a nightstand lamp with a dimmer and have her set it as low as she likes, set it up so the light falls across your faces and the rest of you received only indirect light. Practice by just having a makeout session, she gets to turn it down once clothes come off.

    Get a sheet that is too big for your bed so you can tuck it in securely but still have lots of room to move around. She may be willing to turn up the lamp more with some guarantee that she will remain covered up.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks anon I appreciate it. That makes more sense when you explain that sort of perspective. I get it a lot more now. I was coming at it more from the angle that sex would be more embarrassing due to the vulnerability required but her issue isn't discomfort with me, it's discomfort with herself, which I can't do much to change other than support her and be sincere and vocal about how I find her attractive.

      Thanks for the lamp advice, will buy one.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're welcome anon, good luck. And for what it's worth I'm afraid of candles too.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do CFNM sex, Clothed Female Nude Male for non pervs. Just have her wear tights or leggings or something you can cut a frick hole into for you penis. Use some EMT shears to cut the frick hole. She can't be anymore uncomfortable in clothes she normally wears in public but is now getting fricked in. Seems like bullshit to me but the above suggestion will prove it one way or another.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah I'm good, only reason I'd need light is because I want to see her face, but the dimmed light will fix it. Also I like the skin to skin contact, clothes are weird imo. On top of that she gets really warm anyway too so she wouldn't want to. Thanks tho

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why don't you just start with a couple of candles or something

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's over

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >But it doesn't make sense to me how you'd be more comfortable having sex than being seen naked.
    Don't think too much about this she's probably telling the truth. On days when she's self-conscious my girlfriend doesn't seem to let it affect if we're gonna have sex but she still covers up with her hands when I'm taking my clothes off and looking at her. Your wife will probably get more comfortable with time just keep showing her and telling her how hot you find her

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah I believe her, I just thought she was just maybe being goofy and would change her mind if I pointed out what seemed to be funny to me but I understand her POV a lot more now. I hope you're right, mostly for her sake. Thank you, I really appreciate it!

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm sorry to tell you this, but she's pretending that you're the person she lost her virginity to.

    The ultimate test: in the middle of sex, ask her to say your name... unless she does already. Don't warn her ahead of time. 5 bucks says she won't do it.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wish I was in your position, you're so lucky man. Imagine having a wife who you have a strong bond with and loves you.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >We mutually agreed to wait until marriage
    You were told why you shouldn't do that. But no, you wanted to feel smug and morally superior. Now you bought a product without doing the trial and there are no refunds. You made the choice, tard.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes and now you're here alone on NSFFW and he's pounding his wife. Who's the winner?

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer to do it without so much light.
    you are thinking too much anon, is not a big deal

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That sucks. I always turn on a bunch of extra lights for sex. I want her lit up so I can see every last detail of her face and body. If I were in your situation I would turn the lights on mid-sex. Get a smart switch or just have a lamp in reach. If she likes to occasionally drink, you could see if she is more comfortable while a little drunk. Also try showering with her regularly, that might help her get used to seeing her naked.

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