Dating a BPD girl - is it a good idea?

Is there any chance of having a successful relationship with a BPD girl? Or is it doomed from the start?

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  1. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Is there any chance of having a successful relationship with a BPD girl? Or is it doomed from the start?
    It is doomed from the start. There is no chance at all, though I look forward to seeing the people who will say otherwise

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why do you hate yourself?
      It's a bad idea and you know it.
      Pump and dump, or if you don't want to do that just leave her alone.
      It never ends well.
      >ultra rare possible exception that you'll attach on like a sea cucumber and won't let go even in the face of the obvious:
      if she's self aware and working to limit the disorder - which MUST include taking uni-level psych classes, up to and including clinics, AND seeing a therapist, then MAYBE.
      I'd still wouldn't tho.

      I've only got one red flag and it's BPD.
      I've never even dated one, but I've witnessed three ruin the lives of ordinary men. Two of these women killed themselves in the end, two tried to kill their children.

      Even legit psychos are more datable, BPD is like trying to date a suicide bomber

      I'm asking in hindsight - I dated this girl for a year and just a month before she cheated on me and monkey branched - we found out she had BPD. Now I'm wondering if there was anything I could've done to make it work?

      It makes it worse that the guy she left me for is a white knight homosexual. Who thinks he's saving her from me.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Now I'm wondering if there was anything I could've done to make it work?
        Again, no, there is nothing you can do, there is no hope, it is doomed from the start. They will assure that it is doomed, no matter what you do

        >It makes it worse that the guy she left me for is a white knight homosexual. Who thinks he's saving her from me.
        Sucks for him, you should warn him about what he's dealing with

        Seriously, what is dating a BPD girl like? It always seemed hot to me lol

        Also are there any that are somewhat self aware about it and try to keep it under control? What are ways for them to do so and can it be done without meds?

        >Seriously, what is dating a BPD girl like? It always seemed hot to me lol
        All the hot parts would be just as hot, or way more likely, they'd be much hotter with a sane girl

        >Also are there any that are somewhat self aware about it and try to keep it under control? What are ways for them to do so and can it be done without meds?
        No, if so, they wouldn't have BPD. (BPD and NPD are the same thing to me, btw, but let's not get into that)

        You and a lot of other people seem to have the idea that BPD "makes" them act the way they do, or that the reason they behave the way they do is because they "suffer from BPD." That's not how that works. They behave the way they do all on their own, and BY THEIR OWN CHOICE, and we call that BPD. BPD does not make people act any which way

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          I warned the guy but he's an autistic moron. He was being c**ty to me and saying shit like "HerName doesn't seem like the type to do that" and "maybe it's a good thing the relationship ended".

          I suspect he probably told her to end the relationship and is trying to be a white knight homosexual now. He also uses XD unironically, which is just off-putting. He's a slimy c**t and deserves what's coming to him.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I warned the guy but he's an autistic moron. He was being c**ty to me and saying shit like "HerName doesn't seem like the type to do that" and "maybe it's a good thing the relationship ended".
            That's okay, he will remember your words when he starts to notice her behavior is a little.. strange, you know? Then when he's thinking "am I just crazy or is she the crazy one?" he will remember you warning him and he will be that much closer to accepting that she's a crazy demon b***h. You did god's work, basically

            >He's a slimy c**t and deserves what's coming to him.
            Don't be mean lol. Was there not an ex that she talked bad about with you when y'all first got together? Seems like that's how it always goes

            >BPD and NPD are the same thing to me, btw, but let's not get into that)

            >You and a lot of other people seem to have the idea that BPD "makes" them act the way they do, or that the reason they behave the way they do is because they "suffer from BPD." That's not how that works. They behave the way they do all on their own, and BY THEIR OWN CHOICE, and we call that BPD. BPD does not make people act any which way

            HG Tudor? Is that you?

            >HG Tudor? Is that you?
            Yeah, when I saw his vid where he said that, first I thought "you stole my theory, you bastard," then I thought "well alright, at least it's not just me that's been thinking that shit"

            The Amber Heard thing really cemented it for me. They keep yapping about her having BPD, well what's the fricking difference between that and NPD? Right, there isn't one, they just tell women they have BPD because I don't know why, so they don't hurt their feelings?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Yeah, when I saw his vid where he said that, first I thought "you stole my theory, you bastard,"
            Kek, I believe you anon. I’ve had similar experiences with his videos. Though about the difference between BPD and NPD (or lack thereof), I’m not sure I entirely agree with Tudor.

            He and yourself are right that BPD was initially gendered and had a huge gender bias. Hell. BPD used to be called “female sociopathy” clinically before it got its name. But I don’t think its the same as NPD, in-so-far as it lacks a critical component that NPD has. Executive function. And its this lack of executive function in BPDs that people like HG Tudor notices and calls ‘low level narcissism’.

            Problem with tudor there, is, he is a self-admitted NPD/ASPD psychopath himself. So remember, he is half-blind and lacks empathetic reasoning. He does not understand what it’s like to lack executive function. He doesn’t have BPD.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          >BPD and NPD are the same thing to me, btw, but let's not get into that)

          >You and a lot of other people seem to have the idea that BPD "makes" them act the way they do, or that the reason they behave the way they do is because they "suffer from BPD." That's not how that works. They behave the way they do all on their own, and BY THEIR OWN CHOICE, and we call that BPD. BPD does not make people act any which way

          HG Tudor? Is that you?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          So apparently women are nearly all "BPD" now, just like all the young men are "autistic." But here's the thing: both of these are fake.

          [Disclaimer: the conditions do actually exist, but are simply being grossly, exaggeratedly, wantonly, negligent diagnosed, often non-professionally or self dignosed. "Autistic" people are moronic, i.e. they poop their pants and drool. gtfo here with muh spectrum. "BPD" people attempt or commit SELF HARM and SUICIDE.]

          So these so called BPD women are just crazy c**ts, which is to say normal women. is closest to the mark saying
          >They behave the way they do all on their own, and BY THEIR OWN CHOICE, and we call that BPD
          Except the calling BPD is a semito-feminine cope/excuse/misdirection. What it is, more directly, is
          >women choosing to behave a certain way (poorly)
          >facing little or no consequences
          >blaming poor behavior/decision making on ~~*disorder*~~
          >repeat
          But it's the same with all you 'autists.' You're just being b***hmode homosexual crybabies and saying it's a disorder. Nut the frick up. Drink six beers and tell that girl you like her breasts.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >So these so called BPD women are just crazy c**ts, which is to say normal women.

            >Now I'm wondering if there was anything I could've done to make it work?


            Again, no, there is nothing you can do, there is no hope, it is doomed from the start. They will assure that it is doomed, no matter what you do

            >It makes it worse that the guy she left me for is a white knight homosexual. Who thinks he's saving her from me.
            Sucks for him, you should warn him about what he's dealing with

            [...]
            >Seriously, what is dating a BPD girl like? It always seemed hot to me lol
            All the hot parts would be just as hot, or way more likely, they'd be much hotter with a sane girl

            >Also are there any that are somewhat self aware about it and try to keep it under control? What are ways for them to do so and can it be done without meds?
            No, if so, they wouldn't have BPD. (BPD and NPD are the same thing to me, btw, but let's not get into that)

            You and a lot of other people seem to have the idea that BPD "makes" them act the way they do, or that the reason they behave the way they do is because they "suffer from BPD." That's not how that works. They behave the way they do all on their own, and BY THEIR OWN CHOICE, and we call that BPD. BPD does not make people act any which way (You) is closest to the mark saying
            Well now hold on, I may call them crazy c**ts too but truly BPD/NPD women are far beyond what we might call a crazy c**t. Think like x100 crazy c**t or something like that

            I don't like all the psychology terminology bullshit, I think it's gay as frick, but I like to get a point across in a hurry so sometimes it's the easiest way to go

            >But it's the same with all you 'autists.' You're just being b***hmode homosexual crybabies and saying it's a disorder. Nut the frick up. Drink six beers and tell that girl you like her breasts.
            Difference being the "autist" might actually listen to you, drink six beers and tell that girl he likes her breasts. Or even if he doesn't do it, he'll agree that he could do that, that makes sense, etc.. This will never happen with someone with BPD/NPD, ever. They will be right and you will be wrong, even if it kills them

            >Yeah, when I saw his vid where he said that, first I thought "you stole my theory, you bastard,"
            Kek, I believe you anon. I’ve had similar experiences with his videos. Though about the difference between BPD and NPD (or lack thereof), I’m not sure I entirely agree with Tudor.

            He and yourself are right that BPD was initially gendered and had a huge gender bias. Hell. BPD used to be called “female sociopathy” clinically before it got its name. But I don’t think its the same as NPD, in-so-far as it lacks a critical component that NPD has. Executive function. And its this lack of executive function in BPDs that people like HG Tudor notices and calls ‘low level narcissism’.

            Problem with tudor there, is, he is a self-admitted NPD/ASPD psychopath himself. So remember, he is half-blind and lacks empathetic reasoning. He does not understand what it’s like to lack executive function. He doesn’t have BPD.

            >And its this lack of executive function
            What is this "executive function" you speak of?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >What is this "executive function" you speak of?
            I’ll shorthand and use the definition
            >In cognitive science and neuropsychology, executive functions are a set of cognitive processes that are necessary for the cognitive control of behaviour: selecting and successfully monitoring behaviours that facilitate the attainment of chosen goals.

            This is why BPDs are distinct from NPD. They lack the part of the mind that actively chooses action over a period of time. Or at the least, it’s so stunted that it may as well be non-existent. It’s why their object permanence is so shit. (permanence meaning, emotional memory of past events or reliable emotional connection with the future). This is why BPDs are erratic, and are never able to notice their own actions or remember feeling one way about you days ago Vs. how they feel about you now.
            HG tudor for example. You watched his videos. You heard him talk about ‘splitting’ right? Where a narcissist ‘paints you white’ and values you one minute, then the next ‘paints you black’ and devalues you? A BPD is blind to their action of doing this. They lack the ability to reflect on this and cannot even reliably choose it.

            An NPD can choose it. Because they have executive function. They consciously choose to berate, gaslight, manipulate over a long term goal or stratagem. A BPD doesn’t. They do it in blind bursts, disconnected from each one with no conscious ability to hold onto ever doing it.

            Which is why they are more harmful to be around, which is insane since you’d think the NPD or ASPD sociopath who does it ON PURPOSE is more of a threat. But at least they know what they are, and are predictable. Just as they see us as predictable. There is at least a stable albeit begrudged co-existence possible.

            A BPD though? They can’t even decide if they’re sociopaths or not. Cut right in the middle of both worlds, flail around and engulf people around them. Not even ASPDs or NPDs would invest in them.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >A BPD is blind to their action of doing this
            Yeah well he would classify this as a lower or mid-range narcissist or some shit, I don't know his scale or whatever that well but still, he says most narcissists are that way as well. Personally I don't really believe anyone is that way, or I guess I don't believe that it's out of their control entirely, if that makes sense

            >They lack the ability to reflect on this and cannot even reliably choose it.
            Okay so what if you ask them to try to? Even better, say you're asking them to reflect on a situation where they were objectively in the wrong?

            Trust me, I know how that shit is gonna turn out, but why? Do you really think they lack the ability to reflect? Because I don't think that's even possible

            >An NPD can choose it. Because they have executive function. They consciously choose to berate, gaslight, manipulate over a long term goal or stratagem. A BPD doesn’t. They do it in blind bursts, disconnected from each one with no conscious ability to hold onto ever doing it.
            Yeah see, HG Tudor would say the large majority of narcissists lack that ability, and only the "greater" narcissists and of course, himself, are aware of what they are and what they're doing

            >which is insane since you’d think the NPD or ASPD sociopath who does it ON PURPOSE is more of a threat. But at least they know what they are, and are predictable
            Yes I've thought about this a lot. I'd get along much much better with a psychopath, they'd be just fine compared to the people you're talking about. A psychopath or aspd is typically going to.. make more sense than NPD/BPD (I know you're gonna say NPD executive function, etc.. whatever lol)

            I really think they're all perfectly capable of reflecting, and they're aware of what they're doing. Explain to me how you can sit there and gaslight someone and not know what you're doing? How? What is that like?

            They fricking fail polygraphs, btw, so y'know..

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I really think they're all perfectly capable of reflecting, and they're aware of what they're doing. Explain to me how you can sit there and gaslight someone and not know what you're doing? How? What is that like?

            No idea what that’s like. Thing is, they don’t know what it’s like either. Which is the entire point. You’d think they’d know, since they are doing it, right? But in spite of doing it, they don’t know.

            I can relate and only try to explain a little bit since I’ve only got a combo of ADHD+cPTSD myself. I too lack in executive function and object permanence. So here is how I can explain:

            Hours from now, once this thread is gone, I won’t remember typing to you. I won’t remember what I said to you, or you to me. And on the event I do remember, I won’t be affected by what was said. I can be affected by it right now, but soon I won’t be.

            Another example:
            If I recall a pleasant or traumatic memory—whether it happened yesterday, a week ago, or years ago I feel nothing. There is no longer a mental or emotional connection between myself right now and the past. As if it may as well be someone else’s memory.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I won’t remember typing to you. I won’t remember what I said to you, or you to me.
            Hmm not even if I reminded you? What if I straight up showed you screenshots of us talking? Would it click then?

            >I won’t be affected by what was said. I can be affected by it right now, but soon I won’t be.
            Affected how? Like if I pissed you off in this conversation? Cause.. that sounds kinda normal for you to not be pissed off later when remembering it. Now I might get that feeling later when I remember things, but I'm almost choosing to do that, if that makes sense?

            Like with you, I'm going to remember talking to you, and if I saw you again later, I'd say "hey I remember that guy, I LIKED that guy!" and that will become "I like that guy" right now too, even if you haven't done or said anything to me to make me like you at that moment

            I think anyone is capable of doing that same shit, right?

            >If I recall a pleasant or traumatic memory—whether it happened yesterday, a week ago, or years ago I feel nothing
            Well yeah but you gotta take yourself back to that moment if you wanna feel something. You can do that on your own if you want

            Orr I bet I could force you if you told me about one of these traumatic memories and I told you that you were a liar and that's not how that happened, you must be remembering wrong, because it was your fault and not that person's fault, and they didn't say that, you're making that up and blahblahblah

            That usually sets me off, at least lol

            What I don't understand are the people who will say shit like "oh please don't make me talk about those painful memories. Why would you want to bring me back to such a traumatic experience?" and of course they're crying or yelling at you too.. Like b***h, you're the one that said your ex was abusive, all I did was ask how so? If it's too painful to talk about, why bring it up?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Hmm not even if I reminded you? What if I straight up showed you screenshots of us talking? Would it click then?
            I don’t have BPD so I’m not that far gone. I’d put up a denial or bargaining to avoid owning it emotionally, but it would click with me.

            >I'm going to remember talking to you, and if I saw you again later, I'd say "hey I remember that guy, I LIKED that guy!" and that will become "I like that guy" right now too, even if you haven't done or said anything to me to make me like you at that moment
            Yeah for me it works similarly. But I’d be lying to myself if I said ‘liked’ at a later date. I’d just feel indifferent, no way or the other.

            I may like you now, or anyone as I talk to them in the present moment. But later when they are out of sight and mind, I neither like or dislike them. They’re just simply invisible to me emotionally when they’re not around. Which is as far as I can relate to BPDs with. My own mental disorders essentially share the same foggy emotional memory, and poor executive function, just like they have. Except I don’t split on people, I don’t paint people black or white, nor do I have any dark triad/Machiavellian defense mechanics. My brain’s defense mechanism is flight + freeze responses, more avoidant than combative. BPD is fawn + fight.

            So I have no clue where they get the ability to emotionally damage others, cheat others, gaslight others from. That much is a mystery to me as I would feel horrible if I were to do this to someone else. And I am aware I am an emotional amnesiac and capable of forgetting doing that, which is why I make it a point not to in each present-to-present moment.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            The two borderlines I know do these things without thinking about it because they are delusional. They convince even themselves of these crazy things. They're running on instinct and fear, not really thinking about what's coming out of their mouth. They're just saying whatever they think will make the scenario go the way they want, no thoughts to consequences.

            "They're leaving-- they won't leave if I want to kill myself-- and well I really do want to kill myself-- I should tell them"
            When confronted with how cruel this is to the person that they supposedly love, they do all sorts of mental gymnastics to avoid having to face that fate. Because those are feelings they don't want to feel.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >"They're leaving-- they won't leave if I want to kill myself-- and well I really do want to kill myself-- I should tell them"
            >When confronted with how cruel this is to the person that they supposedly love, they do all sorts of mental gymnastics to avoid having to face that fate. Because those are feelings they don't want to feel.
            Pft, right, see this is the idea of BPD that I can't stand, and why I always have to point out that I believe BPD and NPD are the same thing, and they run on the same fricking system. They're not afraid that you'll leave, they feel like they've started to lose CONTROL of you, and they have come up with a pretty effective way of getting that control back, eh? Just threaten to kill themself! Works like a charm, now my plaything is back, time to torture it some more. Okay, now I'm bored of it, go away now!

            >So I have no clue where they get the ability to emotionally damage others, cheat others, gaslight others from.
            Well it's called not caring, unless you mean the actual techniques. I've wondered where they learn that shit too. I have actually witnessed them learn from others of their kind though, and that is strange to see. Like, they know it gets a rise out of me when my gf does this specific gaslighty bullshit to me, so now they start copying her, really? How bizarre

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            NTA, I’m the other one who believes NPD and BPD to be different. Let me provide two stories of my experience dating both types:

            BPD girl
            >Habitual liar
            >When caught out, accused me of gaslighting her
            >defensive, gaslights me ‘in return’
            >complete DARVO. Deny, accuse, reverse victim and offender
            >Emotional meltdown, complete loss of self image
            >Claims to be sorry, acts sorry, and genuinely tries to begin anew
            >It happens again, same pattern, same meltdown. On and on. No lessons gained, or even admittance to being a harmful personality.

            NPD chick
            >Knew what she was
            >Made no apology for it
            >Consciously planned to gaslight and manipulate weeks in advance
            >Had a notepad on her phone with a written thought out plan to frick with me
            >’Day 1, admire and praise - Day 2, get sexual - Day 3, make it seems like I am a bad liar, Day 4 start an argument, Day 5 - 7, ghost him, Day 8, tell him i love him etc.’
            >Readily admitted to being out for self, claimed anything else was weakness
            >Had history of killing animals for fun
            >Was aware the entire time
            >Discarded me completely, no remorse no looking back no attempt to reuse me or stick around. Onto the next supply.

            The former relationship lasted 6 years. The NPD one was over and done with in a single month.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >NPD chick
            This sounds like psychopathy. Actually, this IS psychopathy. Carry on

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Same thing. Psychopathy/Sociopathy are umbrella terms anyway. It’s all a cluster. My point is, of the two dysfunctional relationships if I had to choose to endure one over the other, I’d choose NPD any day of the week, 9 ways to Sunday. I’d take sharp and painfully quick over dull and brutally dragged out torture any time. There’s also way more closure for the victims. You can rest easy knowing nothing can be done with an NPD. But BPDs are half ‘human’ and half sincere that it torments you wondering whether or not things could have been different.

            Yes, both of them require a sense of control. But BPDs don’t even know what or why they desire control over lol.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >if I had to choose to endure one over the other, I’d choose NPD any day of the week, 9 ways to Sunday. I’d take sharp and painfully quick over dull and brutally dragged out torture any time
            Well then you're not really living with/enduring them, are you? Living with NPD/BPD is your "painfully quick" death except it never ends, it just keeps happening 24/7 until you fricking leave them or someone dies

            >But BPDs are half ‘human’ and half sincere that it torments you wondering whether or not things could have been different.
            No, forget this shit, they're not. This is why I have to keep saying this anytime I see this shit, NPD and BPD are the same thing, there's no human in there, you can rest easy knowing there's nothing that can be done with either one. See, this idea about BPD is seriously fricking hurting people that have to deal with them, because they BELIEVE that shit, they believe there's hope. There is no hope, they're fricking narcissists

            >But BPDs don’t even know what or why they desire control over lol.
            Everyone and everything. Why? Typical narcissist reasoning: BECAUSE I WANNA!

            >If you talked to any "survivor of narcissistic abuse" and you gave them this "bpd girl" list of stuff, they'd tell you she sounds like a narcissist
            Yep, I know. But the key difference is the narc knows why they do it. To self-serve. BPDs don’t even know who that ‘self’ even is. The NPD are like vampires. BPDs? They’re like ghosts.

            Outward appearances might look the same, but internal mechanics are what we need to define here. Otherwise we can call anyone a narc or a BPD (which happens a lot these days. Everyones exes are narcs and BPDs lmao). ADHDs like myself are accused of being “covert narcissists” all the time for this reason of only acknowledging how it appears from the outside.

            >But the key difference is the narc knows why they do it.
            Well see that HG Tudor would say most narcissists do not know. I would say that everyone on the planet knows why they do what they do, what kind of moron wouldn't? Or they can at least figure it out afterwards, shit. Goofy ass shit

            >To self-serve.
            Narcissists will blow their entire lives up just to "win" in a relationship or fricking.. anything. They aren't very good at self-serving either

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Well then you're not really living with/enduring them, are you?
            Not anymore, no. As I said, I dated the BPD for 6 years. The NPD for a month. The BPD was the type to keep going 24/7. The other didn’t once she accomplished her goal.

            >See, this idea about BPD is seriously fricking hurting people that have to deal with them, because they BELIEVE that shit, they believe there's hope. There is no hope, they're fricking narcissists

            There is hope. But that hope can only be attained by the individual themselves. And this is true for BPD, NPD, and even ASPD. The probability % of success diminishes on each though. BPDs are most likely to be put into remission. NPDs are extremely unlikely. ASPDs are almost entirely impossible. Almost, but believe it or not there is that 1% chance that even they too can change. Met one myself, actually. ex-ASPD guy, used to be an enforcer of the cartel. His life was torturing others for money. After a few ego deaths from psychedelic uses and years of therapy and self reflection and self imposed isolation, he shed even the most rigorous type of sociopathy and actively helps others + submits to God now. It happens. It’s extremely unlikely anon I know, it looks almost impossible because it IS almost impossible. But only almost.

            It is not hurtful to point this out. If you feel it troubling, it might be because you would then feel responsible for them. You’re not. Again—change and recovery from personality disorders can only be achieved by themselves. No one else.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >But that hope can only be attained by the individual themselves. And this is true for BPD, NPD, and even ASPD. The probability % of success diminishes on each though
            lol hold on, what do they need hope for? They're doing exactly what they want to be doing!

            >+ submits to God now
            Ahahaha yeah and so did fricking Ted Bundy, he was a born again, a man of God! ahahahah

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >lol hold on, what do they need hope for? They're doing exactly what they want to be doing!
            Believe it or not they’re genuinely miserable people on the inside. BPDs are extremely loud about how miserable they feel. NPDs rarely make it known. And ASPDs both conceal this fact + genuinely believe themselves to be a-okay. At any rate, each of them are pretty fricked up on the inside. Your man HG Tudor said it himself actually—I forget which video—but it was where he talked about the idea of ‘saving’ a narcissist from themselves. He let it slip when he spoke of the ‘heart’ as opposed to the mind. He said ‘my heart is very much a dark and icy place’. This is the hope I refer to. For their hearts to be unhardened and brought to life.

            Now wether the sociopathic personality consciously desires for this or not is another story. 99% of them do not want it, consciously. Subconsciously however they very much do. Their entire framework of having to deceive, abuse, manipulate and use others is testament to this fact. It is their survival mechanism.

            Survival has a goal. To live. They subconsciously wish this very much. Even if they consciously deny it.

            >Ted Bundy
            If every sociopath was a serial killer, we’d be in deep shit. Not all of them are Bundy. Usually, serial killers are a hybrid of cluster A and B personality disorders. You will find they’re either a mix of:
            >SPD + BPD/NPD
            or
            >SPD + ASPD
            Schizotypal + personality disorder.

            Having just straight up ASPD sociopathy isn’t a guarantee of any type of serial killer material. In fact, a good portion of surgeons are ASPD sociopathic. Politicians and lawyers have many NPD. Many actors are BPD. And so on.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >He let it slip when he spoke of the ‘heart’ as opposed to the mind. He said ‘my heart is very much a dark and icy place
            Slip? That's not a slip, that's exactly how he wants his heart to be. You assume they want to love and have a big warm heart full of compassion and all that shit? You assume they want what's best for them? Hell, even that they want to be happy? I don't think they do, I think they'd rather do what they're doing, which means 0 hope

            >Survival has a goal. To live
            Sure, but what's your point? They survive just fine the way they are

            >Having just straight up ASPD sociopathy isn’t a guarantee of any type of serial killer material
            Well no shit, I'm not really worried about serial killers, not exactly something you run into every day. I worry more about the fricking psycho narcissistic c**t that's going to trap some guy into a marriage with kids that'll eventually end with him hanging himself or some shit

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >You assume they want what's best for them? Hell, even that they want to be happy? I don't think they do, I think they'd rather do what they're doing, which means 0 hope

            Listen to yourself. Of course they want to be happy. Who doesn’t? I am telling you that they simultaneously wish and intend to remain sociopathic—while at the same time, deep down, far in, in the depths of their subconscious, their ‘gut’, their ‘inner child’—whatever you wish to call it, THAT is where the wish to be different, healthy, normal exists.

            Whether they recognise this much or not is irrelevant. Whether they admit this much publicly it privately to themselves or not is irrelevant. It remains a core truth to who they are and is irrevocably linked to how they ended up with a personality disorder.

            Think on it a while. If they were ‘surviving just fine’ then why oh why do they still depend on social parasitical vampirism? Using and abusing others? Depending on others for ‘fuel’? To the point that they cannot see and refuse any other means of living? It’s because they’re not surviving just fine. Despite their appearances and smokescreens and superb mastery of masking, mirroring, performing—behind ALL that grandiosity and image, they are not surviving well just fine. If they did, there’d be no personality disorder. It’s as simple as that.

            HG tudor and other accomplished sociopaths remain what they always claimed to be—sociopaths. And all of their bravado and imagery and grand gestures of success and cold calculated ‘intelligent’ competence is, as we already know, an illusion.

            One they themselves believe. And have to believe. Because the disorder doesn’t let them believe otherwise. HG Tudor spells it all out himself perfectly, and readily admits this. Yet considers himself above it. Why? Because his disorder won’t allow him the contrary.

            You get it?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >deep down, far in, in the depths of their subconscious, their ‘gut’, their ‘inner child’—whatever you wish to call it, THAT is where the wish to be different, healthy, normal exists.
            Okie dokie artichokie

            >If they were ‘surviving just fine’ then why oh why do they still depend on social parasitical vampirism? Using and abusing others? Depending on others for ‘fuel’?
            What's that have to do with surviving? Food, water, air, that's surviving

            >To the point that they cannot see and refuse any other means of living? It’s because they’re not surviving just fine
            No I think it's because that's what they like to do

            >If they did, there’d be no personality disorder.
            Yeah it's a "personality disorder" to us, but to them that's just who they are, don't see a problem with it either

            People think of these personality disorders like they're the same thing as having cancer or catching a cold or the flu or something but it's not the same thing. The flu makes you sick, gives you a fever and the shits or whatever, right? A personality disorder doesn't make you do things; the things that you do mean you have a "personality disorder." It's just a categorization, quick way of referring to a certain group of people that act a certain way. You don't catch a personality disorder

            >What kind of pills?
            benzos + alcohol. alprazolam,clonazepam, etc
            It was like she would start an argument out of nowhere over the smallest thing, blame me for the problem and immediately start saying that I was driving her crazy, that she wanted to go to sleep forever, etc. It's really traumatic to be exposed to that kind of treatment every day. She wouldn't even let me meet up with some friends after college, because she would immediately say "ah, are you with your friends? ok, bye" and wouldn't answer me for hours.
            Worst of all, I was always afraid that if I broke up with her, she might end up killing herself. After a year and my mental health was completely destroyed, I didn't care anymore.
            Again, I do not recommend it

            >because she would immediately say "ah, are you with your friends? ok, bye" and wouldn't answer me for hours.
            Hahahaha ahh I shouldn't laugh but I know exactly what you mean (minus the suicide threats), think I've had that same text about 50 times. You ever try just going over to her house and forcing her to answer you? lol

            > I didn't care anymore.
            That's a good ass feeling when it hits though. Like you're immune to it all finally. Like a god damn superpower

            >Again, I do not recommend it
            I do not recommend it

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >You ever try just going over to her house and forcing her to answer you?
            bro, literally had to call her mom to ask if she was okay because I was afraid she had done something. It was a fricking nightmare. At first I liked her because she was really cute and very sweet, but when we started dating it was as if she had been replaced by someone else. I still can't believe that on a Monday she was the best girl I've ever been with in my life, and on Tuesday someone I couldn't even recognize.
            Holy crap, just remembering it makes me want to cry for all the shit that the me of that time had to endure

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Holy crap, just remembering it makes me want to cry for all the shit that the me of that time had to endure
            Shit I'd cry because you (we) didn't really HAVE to endure it, we just chose to like a couple morons aka people actually have a heart, and trust people, care about them, etc.. That and being totally naive, at least in my case, but I bet yours too

            anons i need actual help
            i dated a bpd girl (sadly), it finally ended, she is now with a new guy i think
            i am actually scared that she might end up trying to hurt me somehow, me just being very anxious. As it usually goes she always had her feelings and had her own image of how stuff actually were and being delusional. Would randomly become extremely hurtful. Even with the relationship finally done im scared from getting harmed by her. What are the chances of her trying to hurt me aka revenge.
            Do i simply block her everywhere or do i also change my phone number and discord. Are these needed?
            Just want to not be anxious anywhere.
            I kinda wish I could get some closure and learn that she wouldn't want to hurt me any further but she blocked me everywhere when my shine went off and i was in realization that it would never work out with her anymore and found a new guy immediatly.

            >i am actually scared that she might end up trying to hurt me somehow
            Oh yeah, that's just a thing you live with from now on, anon, did no one tell you? Hahahah welcome to the club!

            >What are the chances of her trying to hurt me aka revenge.
            Not super high or anything but high enough that I don't blame you for worrying

            >Do i simply block her everywhere or do i also change my phone number and discord. Are these needed?
            Pointless. Even if you block her she'll just show up at work or your house or whatever one day if she really wants to

            >I kinda wish I could get some closure
            You can forget that shit bud

            I woulda block her or anything, I'd even answer her if she texts sometimes. You gotta stop caring though, that's the trick, then you'll handle everything much better

            Hey but as long as the new guy sticks around, you're pretty much safe, so that's good. It's when they break up that you might have to worry

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >as long as the new guy sticks
            how does that even happen, i know why i stuck out with it; you just try to only focus on when she was being sweet, try to view her tantrums and irrational ideas and lashing out as a momentary situation (even though it at some points happens everyday).

            I would blow up back at some points back, it is basically impossible to not lash out back and call her out on her behaviour as it just becomes 'too much' for any soul to bear.

            Do people like these change, because she kept telling me how she hurt her ex the same way she hurt me and would cry and beg forgiveness from me (which i would forgive everytime) (but i would internally start to resent her at some point)

            With how she was same way to her ex, to me, how likely she is now normal and her relationship will last (i put all my chips on her being same). I also tried to change her multiple times around when she cut me off. I would tell her to go to a pschologist and get treatment, that it is probably BPD; at the very end when she cut me off she said she had no problems and that I was abusive and heartless for calling her 'abusive' and needs to get treatment.

            So, how long can this guy last? How fricked am i after?

            Is there a way to ease the anxiety? I never could open up about this to family or to my few friends I have.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >BPD girl
            And just to be clear, this sounds like NPD. When girls complain about their NPD exes, this is what they're referring to, not the "NPD chick" example you gave

            I really don't like these terms but I guess we're stuck with them. If you talked to any "survivor of narcissistic abuse" and you gave them this "bpd girl" list of stuff, they'd tell you she sounds like a narcissist

            Oh and by the way

            >Claims to be sorry, acts sorry, and genuinely tries to begin anew

            lol, "genuinely"

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >If you talked to any "survivor of narcissistic abuse" and you gave them this "bpd girl" list of stuff, they'd tell you she sounds like a narcissist
            Yep, I know. But the key difference is the narc knows why they do it. To self-serve. BPDs don’t even know who that ‘self’ even is. The NPD are like vampires. BPDs? They’re like ghosts.

            Outward appearances might look the same, but internal mechanics are what we need to define here. Otherwise we can call anyone a narc or a BPD (which happens a lot these days. Everyones exes are narcs and BPDs lmao). ADHDs like myself are accused of being “covert narcissists” all the time for this reason of only acknowledging how it appears from the outside.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            So if an NPD consciously chose not to manipulate or do those things (for whatever reason), do you think that still makes them NPD.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. After all, they don’t do it constantly. Not every situation will call for it. But when the situation presents itself, they will do it without hesitation. If there is no goal in manipulating, they won’t do it. If there is, they’ll do it without a second thought.

            It’s like washing your hands. You clean them when they get filthy. Once they’re clean, do you remain there by the sink, washing them 24/7? No. Same is true for NPD. They manipulate when it’s time. Just like washing their hands or wiping their ass.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Isn’t that true of a lot of people who aren’t NPD though? Manipulation can’t be exclusive to NPD people. So what I mean is more like: is NPD characterized by the behavior or by what’s going on in the person’s mind? Or what kind of manipulation are we talking about?

            Just to give my impression. NPD/BPD seem to describe behaviors that are triggered by something wrong in the person’s mind, and they become self-enforcing. But behavior can be regulated and to some extent so can mental habits and thought processes/reactions. Maybe people can’t align on what NPD/BPD are or is is because there is more grey area between that behavior and what is considered unhealthy but normal, and the worst cases are just very visible. I mean I guess that is the definition of a disorder, but it feels a lot like a case of no true scotsman.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Isn’t that true of a lot of people who aren’t NPD though? Manipulation can’t be exclusive to NPD people.
            It is true of a lot of people. In fact it's true for all of us. Everyone at some point in their life will manipulate someone else, either consciously or unconsciously. What characterizes NPD is their lack of empathy. Before, during, and especially after they recognize their manipulations. They do not care; because they cannot care. They don't see you or me or others as 'human' in the way we see humans.

            Here's an example of their distinct lack of empathy:
            >A little girl falls over on the sidewalk
            >She scrapes her knee, pretty badly and is crying out in pain, alone and scared
            >You might or might not help; however, you definitely feel a pang in your chest. A call to help, a sadness or concern for the girl.
            Whether you stop to help or not isn't what makes or breaks NPD. Here is where NPD comes in:
            >Some drunk moron comes along
            >He points to the sidewalk where she fell and says 'That poor sidewalk! She hurt the poor asphalt!'

            You think
            >Wow, what a fricking moron. It's just a sidewalk.

            The narcissist feels the same, but for the girl.
            >What a fricking moron, it was only some stupid girl.

            That's NPD. In a nutshell.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >So what I mean is more like: is NPD characterized by the behavior or by what’s going on in the person’s mind? Or what kind of manipulation are we talking about?
            It's by what's going on in their mind, by the way. I have spent a whole lot of time trying to figure out what exactly is going through their minds at any given point. I couldn't tell you for sure, and I don't think anyone else could either, except narcissists themselves, but it seems like they never do that. And that is infuriating, because I really want to know just for curiosity's sake too damn it

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >If there is no goal in manipulating
            This is so incredibly not true. I've never seen something less true than this right here. Absolutely 100% narcissists will manipulate even with no goal, just for the sake of manipulating or who knows what the frick for. This will frick with your head too, because you might think "they seem like they might be manipulating me. Hmm, but why? What do they even have to gain by doing that? I guess I must just be crazy, they must not be manipulating me.." WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. They don't need a fricking reason. Or rather, manipulating you IS the reason for manipulating you. They just wanna know they got that control over you, baby

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >They just wanna know they got that control over you, baby
            Yes. That is the goal I mentioned. And if you're not their goal, they won't bother with the effort.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >there was anything I could've done to make it work?
        Nah.
        There were things SHE could have done to make it work, tho, but you can't force people to look after their own mental health.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >anything I could've done to make it work?

        No, BPD is the worst of crazy.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >It makes it worse that the guy she left me for is a white knight homosexual. Who thinks he's saving her from me.
        Let him have her.

  2. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why do you hate yourself?
    It's a bad idea and you know it.
    Pump and dump, or if you don't want to do that just leave her alone.
    It never ends well.
    >ultra rare possible exception that you'll attach on like a sea cucumber and won't let go even in the face of the obvious:
    if she's self aware and working to limit the disorder - which MUST include taking uni-level psych classes, up to and including clinics, AND seeing a therapist, then MAYBE.
    I'd still wouldn't tho.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Uni-level psy classes MAYBE, but therapists treating people with BPD? lol. Lmao.
      My BPD b***h ex had a therapist since early high-school (she’s 25 now) and would tell me about how much shit she purposely leave out or not bring up to her therapist. For no fricking reason, mind you.

      I remember my ex telling me a month before we broke up how she told her therapist about our numerous arguments over her bullshit and that the therapist agreed that I was crazy, which is fricking insane because no sane person would EVER say that I’m the wrong person in the relationship unless they aren’t getting told a correct story. I laughed right in her face.
      I hate BPDBlack folk. They even lie to people they’re literally fricking paying to help them. They’re beyond saving.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >and would tell me about how much shit she purposely leave out or not bring up to her therapist
        CBT is basically useless for people with BPD. She should have been doing DBT.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          >CBT DBT BUZZWORD
          cant they grow up, self-realize how they hurt others and think through about their actions and think process and how it is illogical?
          are they incapable of thinking
          you can't make a monkey write a book, they are inept
          if someone is inept at critical thought and being rational how can someone else (i.e therapy) can fix them?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >cant they grow up, self-realize how they hurt others and think through about their actions and think process and how it is illogical?
            They know all of that, they just don't care

            >are they incapable of thinking
            Of course not

            >if someone is inept at critical thought and being rational how can someone else (i.e therapy) can fix them?
            Not just that, but they don't even want to be "fixed" in the first place, so it's double fricked

            >couple counselling
            mine literally said she would never do that (i bet she knew she was wrong and her shit would come to bite her)
            how did yours ago anon, did it happen? if so how did it go

            >how did yours ago anon, did it happen? if so how did it go
            Frick no it didn't happen. There was one point where she text me saying she'd do it but I was already past that point, didn't give a shit anymore, didn't really need to be told any of that stuff anymore, and while I used to want to do shit like that for her sake, I came to the conclusion she was hopeless, annndd I didn't give a frick anymore anyway

            They know they're wrong, they don't need a therapist to enlighten them on that shit, they know it already, they just don't care

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >cant they grow up, self-realize how they hurt others and think through about their actions and think process and how it is illogical?
            That's what DBT is for.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            how tf does it not work out when i spell it out to her logically, why she acts like that, how it affects me, why it is wrong and illogical?
            therapist isnt a magician? how is that supposed to be different

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Clearly you have no idea what DBT is. It's not talk therapy. The only person that can change a BPD person's mind is themselves.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            I think you're missing his point. It's not about therapy this and therapy that

            how tf does it not work out when i spell it out to her logically, why she acts like that, how it affects me, why it is wrong and illogical?
            therapist isnt a magician? how is that supposed to be different

            >how tf does it not work out when i spell it out to her logically, why she acts like that, how it affects me, why it is wrong and illogical?

            He means just as a fricking living human being, how the frick does this not work?

            And I understand exactly where he's coming from with this question, I can fricking FEEL where's he's coming from lol. HATRED. I mean, caring, yes, caring..

            And the answer is again, they understand all of that stuff just fine, they just DON'T CARE. Yeah, that part where you logically explained why it's wrong and how much it hurts you? They get it. DON'T CARE. They just don't fricking care, seriously, that's it, no therapy needed here boss, that's all there is to it

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            I literally have BPD. DBT has helped me. It makes me take a 20 minutes break alone instead of immediately flying off the handle over any perceived slight or infraction. It doesn't fix it and I still am not capable of having a relationship but it makes dealing with me a lot easier for my family.

            And I agreed with him. I don't care. The only person who can change my mind is myself.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >but it makes dealing with me a lot easier for my family.

            >It makes me take a 20 minutes break alone instead of immediately flying off the handle over any perceived slight or infraction

            >What kind of pills?
            benzos + alcohol. alprazolam,clonazepam, etc
            It was like she would start an argument out of nowhere over the smallest thing, blame me for the problem and immediately start saying that I was driving her crazy, that she wanted to go to sleep forever, etc. It's really traumatic to be exposed to that kind of treatment every day. She wouldn't even let me meet up with some friends after college, because she would immediately say "ah, are you with your friends? ok, bye" and wouldn't answer me for hours.
            Worst of all, I was always afraid that if I broke up with her, she might end up killing herself. After a year and my mental health was completely destroyed, I didn't care anymore.
            Again, I do not recommend it

            >because she would immediately say "ah, are you with your friends? ok, bye" and wouldn't answer me for hours.

            >but it makes dealing with me a lot easier for my family.
            Does it? Or do they worry the whole time, but it makes it easier on you at least?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Or do they worry the whole time
            My mother and siblings much prefer me taking a break and coming back to either apologize or calmly say 2 sentences about what I'm upset about rather than screaming at them.

            They are aware of why I take the breaks. If I just piss off for 4 hours without saying why that's different.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >or calmly say 2 sentences about what I'm upset about rather than screaming at them.
            You ever try just saying it immediately? lol

            >They are aware of why I take the breaks. If I just piss off for 4 hours without saying why that's different.
            Yeah? Do you say "I have to go take a break for a while because I'm pissed off now?"

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >You ever try just saying it immediately?
            Doesn't work like that. When I try to discuss it immediately my emotions are too high.

            >Yeah? Do you say "I have to go take a break for a while because I'm pissed off now?"
            More like "I will discuss this later but I need to go calm down".

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Doesn't work like that. When I try to discuss it immediately my emotions are too high.
            Well okay but how about maybe say why you're upset, THEN go take your break to cool down. Or, say why you're upset, then don't talk for a while, just listen to them. I mean, I'm not saying you're wrong or DBT is wrong or whatever, I'm just throwing out ideas is all

            What changes in that period of calming down, anyway? Like, what do you think about? Do you sit and think about whatever made you mad? Or do you go watch cartoons or jack off or whatever you do for fun for 20 minutes and get your mind off of things?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Well okay but how about maybe say why you're upset, THEN go take your break to cool down. Or, say why you're upset, then don't talk for a while, just listen to them. I mean, I'm not saying you're wrong or DBT is wrong or whatever, I'm just throwing out ideas is all
            Doesn't work like that. If I say why I'm upset they're going to respond. And if they respond it's only going to make me more upset. I literally can not listen to them in that moment because more than half the time what I'm upset about is what they are saying. It's a negative feedback loop that only serves to make my reaction more extreme and unpleasant for everyone involved.

            >What changes in that period of calming down, anyway? Like, what do you think about? Do you sit and think about whatever made you mad? Or do you go watch cartoons or jack off or whatever you do for fun for 20 minutes and get your mind off of things?
            Bit of both. I watch some mindless bullshit until my physical response is under control and then try to figure out if it's valid for me to be upset or not. If it is I try to figure out how best to express that calmly rather than reacting viscerally to my hurt feelings.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >and then try to figure out if it's valid for me to be upset or not
            See, that's what I was looking for, yeah. Okay, so why can't THEY tell you whether it's valid for you to be upset or not?

            I love this one lol. Was always guaranteed to make my ex lose her shit

            Me: "You shouldn't be mad about that.."
            Her: "WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL ME HOW TO FEEL, yadayadayada, I'm a crazy btich, etc.."
            Me: "BECAUSE IT'S TRUE! You shouldn't be mad about that, you have no reason to be mad right now"

            You can imagine how well that would go from there. The thing is, it's actually true! And I still don't get why that doesn't work! I'm telling you how to feel for frick's sake, how much easier can it get? And of course, I think that's similar to what this guy was saying

            how tf does it not work out when i spell it out to her logically, why she acts like that, how it affects me, why it is wrong and illogical?
            therapist isnt a magician? how is that supposed to be different

            >how tf does it not work out when i spell it out to her logically, why she acts like that, how it affects me, why it is wrong and illogical?

            I just don't get how you can read an explanation that proves the way you feel is wrong, and then you can sit there and somehow still be mad about whatever you got mad about. And not just sorta mad, but fricking insane mad. At that point, you KNOW you're wrong, you're just choosing to be mad anyway, right?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Okay, so why can't THEY tell you whether it's valid for you to be upset or not?
            They're my feelings. I decide what upsets me not someone else. If I do that that leaves me open to manipulation and gaslighting. That's more of a problem in relationships but like, a I'm like this you can't assume my mother is a perfect person lol. I have to think for myself. I just need more time to do it than someone without a personality disorder that causes them to overreact.

            >Me: "You shouldn't be mad about that.."
            Her: "WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL ME HOW TO FEEL, yadayadayada, I'm a crazy btich, etc.."
            Me: "BECAUSE IT'S TRUE! You shouldn't be mad about that, you have no reason to be mad right now"
            That wouldn't work on a woman who doesn't have BPD either. You were being dismissive. Actually that wouldn't work on any person ever.
            >I'm telling you how to feel for frick's sake, how much easier can it get?
            Do YOU want to be told how to feel? They're your emotions.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >They're my feelings. I decide what upsets me not someone else.
            Is this like a pre-programmed response or something? Can we delete it from the list, maybe?

            It doesn't matter whose feelings they are, Miss Center-of-the-universe, if they're WRONG, they're WRONG. Like I said, you know it when you read the explanation, I know you know it, because it happens to fricking all of us at some point. You get mad about something, you say something, then the person corrects you and you realize it was a misunderstanding. And there is no cooldown period needed or any of that, it's INSTANT "ohh woops, my bad lol, now I feel like an idiot"

            >a I'm like this you can't assume my mother is a perfect person lol. I have to think for myself
            .. you really don't trust your own mom, huh? Not even enough to stop and read it and consider she could be right? Really? Your mom? I mean maybe your mom is a nutcase right, so that could be fair enough

            >You were being dismissive.
            Oh god, here we go.. Is this like a pre-programmed response or something? Can we delete it from the list, maybe?

            Yes, you're right though, I am absolutely being dismissive. What would you rather me do? Not dismiss your wrong feelings? Except I care about you, and I'd rather you not suffer because of something that's WRONG

            Plus, it's not really me that's dismissing them, I'm telling YOU to dismiss them. If I was the one dismissing your feelings, I would just tell you to frick off, I don't care if you're mad, call me when you want to frick

            >Do YOU want to be told how to feel? They're your emotions.
            Sure I do, if I'm wrong to feel the way I feel! Of course I do! I would be kind of fricking upset with people if they didn't tell me something! Is this not the answer you expected here?

            And by the way, you're always open to manipulation and gaslighting, you're not protecting yourself any by doing what you're doing here

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Are you autistic or just being purposely obtuse?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Are you autistic or just being purposely obtuse?
            Is this like a pre-programmed response or something? Can we delete it from the list, maybe?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            It was a genuine question. Are you autistic? Because I don't see how someone who isn't would think the way you do about emotions.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Because I don't see how someone who isn't would think the way you do about emotions.
            What way do I think about emotions?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Look dude if you're not going to answer the question I'm not going to continue this further.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Look dude if you're not going to answer the question I'm not going to continue this further.
            I don't know the answer! My first gf said her mom said that she thought I was "probably on the spectrum," and that b***h works with autistic kids at schools or some shit. That's the best I got for you unless you got some test you want me to take

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Was that so hard? You could have said that 3 replies ago. The way you think about emotions isn't normal. The vast majority of people consider it offensive to be told what they are feeling is wrong. Feelings can't be wrong, they just are. What you DO about those feelings can be wrong though. Address the behavior, not the emotion when you want to tell someone they're acting like a tool.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        for my personal knowledge, how did the breakup and post breakup go for both sides?
        >did she try to hurt you after
        >was she immediatly over you when you stopped giving attention
        etc etc
        thanks anon

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I remember my ex telling me a month before we broke up how she told her therapist about our numerous arguments over her bullshit and that the therapist agreed that I was crazy, which is fricking insane because no sane person would EVER say that I’m the wrong person in the relationship unless they aren’t getting told a correct story.
        Yeah they just lie to them, or hell the therapist might have told her that she was being crazy, therefore your ex had to come tell you the opposite because that's their fricked up brains in action

        I actually did want to go to couples counseling at one point though, just to see if a damn therapist could convince the b***h that I'm not crazy or that I actually have a fair point or whatever it may be. Convince her to fricking listen to me for once, basically. Also that she's fricking crazy

        >and would tell me about how much shit she purposely leave out or not bring up to her therapist
        CBT is basically useless for people with BPD. She should have been doing DBT.

        >CBT is basically useless for people with BPD. She should have been doing DBT.
        Doesn't matter what treatment they try, b***h be lyin about everything she tells the therapist anyway, so what goods it gonna do?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          >couple counselling
          mine literally said she would never do that (i bet she knew she was wrong and her shit would come to bite her)
          how did yours ago anon, did it happen? if so how did it go

  3. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've only got one red flag and it's BPD.
    I've never even dated one, but I've witnessed three ruin the lives of ordinary men. Two of these women killed themselves in the end, two tried to kill their children.

    Even legit psychos are more datable, BPD is like trying to date a suicide bomber

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Even legit psychos are more datable, BPD is like trying to date a suicide bomber
      That is such an unprecedentedly bold take. Thing is, you’re right. I’ve dated both a high functioning narcissistic psycho and a borderline. Both sucked, but the difference between the two is crazy. At least narc psychos are consistent in their pathology. Borderlines are all over the place.

      Dealing with a narc psycho is painful, but it’s quick, like a bullet. A borderline? It’s a fricking dagger that erratically digs into you, twists, jerks, torques and gnaws around and refuses to get out. Fricking hell.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Beautiful analogy, i need to remember that when talking about my ex

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >BPD is like trying to date a suicide bomber

      This makes me feel bad about myself. But he's right.

  4. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Seriously, what is dating a BPD girl like? It always seemed hot to me lol

    Also are there any that are somewhat self aware about it and try to keep it under control? What are ways for them to do so and can it be done without meds?

  5. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not a chance.

    source: i had a relationship with a BPD girl

    She lied, cheated on me(that's whete I left her and broke her laptop in rage), and cut herself.
    We also had a fight every single day.

    Sex was amazingly good and rough though.

  6. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    No, every woman I’ve dated with bpd has ended with the biggest headache and a new lesson why they are not worth any energy aside from a one night stand

    They are permanently childish and you will never be truly happy with them. They are all pyschos

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >They are permanently childish and you will never be truly happy with them. They are all pyschos
      They meaning all women. If you are rationalizing their behavior it's because YOU are becoming feminized yourself.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        This whole thread is talking about bpd girls, I am talking about bpd girls not every single girl you illiterate moron

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          And I was saying that all women are permanently childish and psycho.
          >bitches be crazy

  7. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Only chance is if she is actively taking meds and learning how to deal. Chances are it's doomed. You'd have to put in a lot of work to help her, but most of all she's gotta be willing to put in a lot of work to help herself. Most people with BPD are really hard to put up with. If you're asking if you should, you probably shouldn't.

  8. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Love yourself. Care just enough for them and place your boundaries. They will change if you know your worth. Don't be a simpy homosexual. If not just move on.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >They will change if you know your worth.
      Lmao

  9. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    90% of BPD relationships don't work because the guy is a fricking mental weak gay too that could not get a girlfriend ever and had to settle with another moron.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      this tbh

  10. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are they medicated? People with BPD can live relatively normal lives as long as they use the right meds to manage their condition, from my understanding.

    Honestly I would judge based off of how your girlfriend behaves atm. If you think her behavior atm is managable, stick with her. If not, politely break up. Don’t ever go into a relationship with someone expecting to change them.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      You must be mixing up with another disorder. Meds don't make a significant difference in BPD without therapeutic intervention. Dialectical Behavior Therapy was developed for borderline and is the gold standard for their emotional regulation.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >People with BPD can live relatively normal lives as long as they use the right meds to manage their condition, from my understanding.
      They require mood stabilising medications, + psychotherapy and DBT therapy for AT LEAST 6 - 15 years, consistently for a shot at a 60%~ chance of putting it into remission.

      BPD can be ‘cured’ but the path to doing so isn’t guaranteed and is a difficult process.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      She just got diagnosed by the end of our relationship, so she hadn't started any therapy or medication (other than anti depressants). I always knew she was weird, but I didn't know why. I know now.

  11. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    dating a bpd is bad don't they won't shut up and they manipulative fricks but it wont work on me Because shit I don't give a frick

  12. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Doomed unless she's aware and working on it. Might be doomed then too.

  13. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety after dating one. She several times threatened to kill herself by taking pills. I do not recommend it.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Confusing thing is that mine wasn't suicidal but she matched all the other criteria to a tee

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >She several times threatened to kill herself by taking pills
      What kind of pills?

      Confusing thing is that mine wasn't suicidal but she matched all the other criteria to a tee

      >Confusing thing is that mine wasn't suicidal but she matched all the other criteria to a tee
      Narcissisttttttt lol

      I can't say it enough times, BPD = NPD except someone told these chicks they can get away scott free, and have everyone feel bad for them if they say they have a "fear of abandonment." Horseshit, if you didn't want me to abandon you, you wouldn't treat me like shit b***h

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >What kind of pills?
        benzos + alcohol. alprazolam,clonazepam, etc
        It was like she would start an argument out of nowhere over the smallest thing, blame me for the problem and immediately start saying that I was driving her crazy, that she wanted to go to sleep forever, etc. It's really traumatic to be exposed to that kind of treatment every day. She wouldn't even let me meet up with some friends after college, because she would immediately say "ah, are you with your friends? ok, bye" and wouldn't answer me for hours.
        Worst of all, I was always afraid that if I broke up with her, she might end up killing herself. After a year and my mental health was completely destroyed, I didn't care anymore.
        Again, I do not recommend it

  14. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    anons i need actual help
    i dated a bpd girl (sadly), it finally ended, she is now with a new guy i think
    i am actually scared that she might end up trying to hurt me somehow, me just being very anxious. As it usually goes she always had her feelings and had her own image of how stuff actually were and being delusional. Would randomly become extremely hurtful. Even with the relationship finally done im scared from getting harmed by her. What are the chances of her trying to hurt me aka revenge.
    Do i simply block her everywhere or do i also change my phone number and discord. Are these needed?
    Just want to not be anxious anywhere.
    I kinda wish I could get some closure and learn that she wouldn't want to hurt me any further but she blocked me everywhere when my shine went off and i was in realization that it would never work out with her anymore and found a new guy immediatly.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      You don't exist to her any more.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Like

      You don't exist to her any more.

      said, if she has BPD as you said, you literally don’t exist in her mind anymore. You’re nothing to her. Anything she does that hurts your feelings (not texting you to see how you are, posting photos of her new bf, etc etc) will be done by complete accident. She isn’t thinking of you AT ALL, and even if she was, it’d just be her thinking of all the bad memories you guys had and somehow twisting them to even worse ones, then purging you from her mind until the next time she’s reminded of you by accident.

      I speak from experience, anon. You have nothing to worry about. I thought my ex was going to do the same thing but nope. I’m just a nobody to her

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        is this true even if the relationship ended extremely purely with her lashing out into me talking very badly about her?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          I don’t know, honestly. I’m not a BPD expert lol. I’m just speaking from my own experience and other experiences I read online from BPD-victim forums.

          If she moved on with this new guy, then yeah I’ll say you’re good. She’s currently in the BPD honeymoon phrase, so she purged you from her memory.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            so the outline we have here is she doesn't think about me cause she already has a new guy and someone to feel all nice and giddy about (also kek she found new guy literally after breakup, they go fast)

            so during her all honeymoon phase with him im safe and there isn't much reason to worry as it will mosy likely be a couple months till she fricks it up with him also, and i will be too long past at that point?

            just tell me im safe tbh (sadly i think my anxiety comes from thinking too logically and being aware about the bad possibilities, even though im hopefully safe)

  15. 9 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I laughed - also, is it just me, or do bpd girls just have no sense of humour or just a really shitty sense of humour? She'd take jokes seriously or just completely misunderstand them.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >no humor
        they have humor, mine would call me a liar or a bad person if i joked about anything by pulling off some brain gymnastics.

        If they want to act the victim and be 'hurt', they will make anything seem like you are being hurtful

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          It depends on my mood, and the subject of the joke. If you're poking fun at me and I'm not in the right mood you have chosen death.

          It wasn't even jokes directed at her. She'd just generally misinterpret jokes and take them as face value. Or just misinterpret situations - for example, I told her that I found something so funny that I burst out laughing in public and people were looking at me. I was telling her because I found it funny (that they were looking), but she interpreted it as me being insecure. So she told me not to care and I had to explain that I don't but I found it funny.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            she is a dimwit

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            I think she might have just been stupid. Or you're not funny to the point that it's painful.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          >If they want to act the victim and be 'hurt', they will make anything seem like you are being hurtful
          One time I was helping my ex put away her fricking groceries and I just lightly bumped her in the stomach with a 12 pack of soda, you know, because she was in my frickin way. She moved and we finished putting up the groceries and everything was normal as far as I could tell

          Well I dunno when I left her house, if it was that night or the next morning, whatever, but she fricking starts texting me telling me that she can't believe me, how could I hit her with the 12 pack of soda like that and "you should have seen (herson)'s eyes when I hit her!" and all that shit.. Fricking WHAT?

          And here's my gullible ass (early in the relationship), I sit there and think "wow did she really think I hit her hit her? Was she upset after that and I just missed it somehow? Did her kid think I hit her seriously?"

          Frick that's stupid

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            lovely, i had basically same thing happen, i took the first bite of the food so she got triggered, we were sharing the meal as normal

            another one is i walked apparantly tiny bit faste than her which made her 'feet hurt'

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        It depends on my mood, and the subject of the joke. If you're poking fun at me and I'm not in the right mood you have chosen death.

  16. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're doing a great thing, OP! Don't believe all the ableist propaganda on NSFFW. BPD isn't that much different from autism, and autism flows through most imageboards. You'll never know until you try.

  17. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    we have bpd femoids in the thread, i repeat; bpd in the area
    take immediate shelter
    no eye contact, act like they dont exist for possible safety

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kek

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        You have bpd

  18. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why do you want to frick BPD girls though? No stability, will cheat, 50% every minute she will just try to kill herself, no chance of having kids who won't be in constant danger from a mentally deranged woman, etc.
    what the frick is wrong with you people?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Why do you want to frick BPD girls though?
      I think it's because people think it'd be easier to frick them, and maybe even easier to keep them/have them fall in love with you. You know, no one else wants them, no one else is willing to put up with them, no one else will love them despite their flaws, that sorta thing?

      "She doesn't have to fear being abandoned with me, I will never abandon her, and I'll prove it to her! :^)"

      Makes sense on paper, doesn't it?

  19. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dating BPD girls, I've dated two, has only led to immense, long-lasting pain in my life.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I relate to your circumstances too

  20. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    BPzD means cosplay to me, make it work OP. having fought the battle means more in life than to not if love is on the line

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