Emotionally and physically attracted to her but not sexually interested

I just google big boobs and vegana and little john stands at the ready but I just can't get it up thinking about her. I just want to cuddle and kiss, nothing else. She's exactly my type in every other way too.
What do? How to fix?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it doesn’t sound like you’re actually attracted to her. We tend to think we have a “type” that we construct heavily in our mind(logical) but our primal (reaction) doesn’t lie.
    This happened to me as well, thought I had a “perfect type” yet I could never get it up.
    then I got with someone opposite of my type, and it made me rethink things.
    Don’t box things into a “type”, go with what your body genuinely needs/feels.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well I said she was my type but I never really constructed one in my mind before meeting her. I said that because upon firt meeting her I knew right there and then she was beautiful, I didn't have to think about it.
      And you know I'd tend to maybe believe you about it not being "natural" if it weren't for the fact that it already happen to me once before in my life when I first fell in love. And these two girls are almost complete opposites too.
      Why would my heart even react to seeing someone beautiful if the little guy doesn't follow? I'm getting conflicting primal reactions

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        homosexual detected

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't like men thoughever

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You said you weren’t sexually attracted though. How do you think she would feel if you told her this? The fact that you posted the question asking for reassurance is the biggest indicator something is missing.
      I would let her down easy.

  2. 4 weeks ago
    sage

    Can you mastrubate while thinking about her?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I've been doing for the last 6 months but it's a pain to get it up tbqh. It's never fully hard.

      You said you weren’t sexually attracted though. How do you think she would feel if you told her this? The fact that you posted the question asking for reassurance is the biggest indicator something is missing.
      I would let her down easy.

      Idk how she'd feel about it but she's not a sex demon and she's knows I'm not one either. I like her body, her face and her personality more than anybody else's. Isn't that enough to love somebody? I could die a virgin I wouldn't care as long as I'm with her. We never had sex and probably won't have a lot of it.
      If I asked the question it's because I think something's wrong with me. I don't think it's got anything to do with something I feel is missing in our relationship. The butterflies in my stomach are enough reassurance for me to know that my love is true.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Then it sounds like you’re all good, nothing is wrong.
        keep going with her.
        You said it yourself, you’d be satisfied being a virgin as long as you’re with her. Case closed.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah but that's still something that needs to be fixed if (more like when) she ever wants to do it

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        ever had a gf before, or sex where it wasn't an issue?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          First gf and I'm a virgin. But I've never been sexually attracted to someone I've fallen in love with. Only recently did I discover that it wasn't common. I thought I'd find plenty of people talking about it online, but nope. Not a single one.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you can mastrubate to average straight porn? Did you ever cuddle and touched/rubbed her bodyparts on your dick region? Usually that make your penus hard without thinking much.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >you can mastrubate to average straight porn?
            Yeah, I think. I used to but nowadays I just use my mind.

            >Did you ever cuddle and touched/rubbed her bodyparts on your dick region?
            Well I did get semi-hard (nothing too crazy) but we didn't do it for very long. We went much further too already (without hugging or having our private parts touch) but I never really got hard. So I guess I should try that again. Maybe It's all about that specific foreplay. Still wondering why I can't get hard thinking about her but that's already plenty helpful, so thank you, hopefully it works.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Maybe It's all about that specific foreplay
            sure, you need to figure it out together by talking about it with her. Unlike rubbing it yourself you give control away during sex and it can be subconsciously anxiety inducing which is a big boner killer.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah I'll do that thank you very much

            Does she initiate sex? Does she act flirty, try to turn you on? All men are not the sex beasts internet wants everyone to believe they are. I've had women that just went straight to sucking dick and it was always a turn off. The best ones were the ones that did fun stuff like rubbing their hands on my crotch while watching a movie, or may a few light kisses here and there, or bending over and "accidentally" rubbing their butts against me. There is also the case of actually feeling comfortable with the person instead of tense and forced all the time.

            Well we never had full-on sex yet but she does initiate a lot and yeah it's much better when does this instead of putting her hand right down my pants.

            I had something similar in terms of being VERY sexually attracted to a rather ugly chick, who I really didn't want to be seen with, vs a hot chick who was definitely a trophy but was just meh in terms of sex.
            To put it in concrete terms, ugly chick would nearly make me cum in my pants every time we made out.
            I'd have gone for the ugly chick if she didn't have a dopey recessed chin. All I could think of is no fricking way do I want my good looks to be ruined for my kids with that awful bone structure.
            So, I used to just think about her when fricking other women. Shrug.

            Yeah maybe it's got to do with the fact that having sex with an ugly girl feels more taboo in some kinda way, you said you didn't want to be seen with her after all. Maybe I've got the same thing

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Yeah maybe it's got to do with the fact that having sex with an ugly girl feels more taboo in some kinda way, you said you didn't want to be seen with her after all. Maybe I've got the same thing
            Yeah, it was kinda like that. Also, I was her first everything, and it was really hot how badly she wanted intimacy.
            My advice: get some boner pills, force your dick to get properly hard, and frick the current girl's brains out. You have a get out of virgin-jail free pass, use it. Then, you can decide if you want to keep her or not.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks but no need for pills. I've already got a strategy for the very first time. I'll just go into the bathroom and look up the most degen shit on my phone for 5 minutes. I'm pretty good at keeping a boner up when I've got one so I think I'll do good from there, hopefully. It that and foreplay fails I'll just go for the pills I think, just once to satisfy both of us.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you could also try pic related

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How would you feel if she had to do the same to get in the mood for you? What if she had to look up degen shit just to sleep with you/ get turned on? Or otherwise she just wouldn’t be turned on by you

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah I know. I intend to just get it up and then solely focus on her but maybe I'll just drop this plan altogether or save it for if I can't get it up the first time

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >But I've never been sexually attracted to someone I've fallen in love with.
            If it will make you feel better, I've had this too, before I became wizard. Like, the romantic and sexual attraction were always orthogonal concerns to me.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It does make me feel somewhat better, thank you. At least I know I didn't make that shit up to make me believe I'm not a piece of shit

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Does she initiate sex? Does she act flirty, try to turn you on? All men are not the sex beasts internet wants everyone to believe they are. I've had women that just went straight to sucking dick and it was always a turn off. The best ones were the ones that did fun stuff like rubbing their hands on my crotch while watching a movie, or may a few light kisses here and there, or bending over and "accidentally" rubbing their butts against me. There is also the case of actually feeling comfortable with the person instead of tense and forced all the time.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I had something similar in terms of being VERY sexually attracted to a rather ugly chick, who I really didn't want to be seen with, vs a hot chick who was definitely a trophy but was just meh in terms of sex.
    To put it in concrete terms, ugly chick would nearly make me cum in my pants every time we made out.
    I'd have gone for the ugly chick if she didn't have a dopey recessed chin. All I could think of is no fricking way do I want my good looks to be ruined for my kids with that awful bone structure.
    So, I used to just think about her when fricking other women. Shrug.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How often are you looking at porn? Could it be that you feel more comfortable with porn than you are with real life sex? Have you tried spending some time without it?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not looking at any kind of porn nowadays. But yeah I'd definitely be more comfortable with it than with real life sex. But spending time without has just drastically decreased my libido. I still jerk off weekly to not become ascetic thoughever.

      you could also try pic related

      kek

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Leave her and let her find a real straight man who likes pussy. I'm betting on you being troony attracted

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      troony genuienly repulse me on a primal level. Just the thought of somebody cutting off their private parts or having artificial new ones makes me incredibly uneasy and recoil in disgust

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Most troony chasers are into pre-op troony porn

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Well that's just being into femboys then. And no I'm not a homosexual

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            If you like femboys you're a homosexual indeed lol

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well I don't so it's okay then.

            He doesn’t sound like a homosexual he just sounds like he has a fetish for ugly/fat chicks

            I don't like fat chicks either and never really cared about the girls' faces when looking at porn, also used to jerk off the pretty girls I knew, so maybe you're right or maybe you aren't but I don't think that really explains what I'm feeling. It's like instantly when I fall in love I lose all interest in having sex with that person, I like the concept of it, my penis doesn't.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He doesn’t sound like a homosexual he just sounds like he has a fetish for ugly/fat chicks

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Then why doesn't he date ugly/fat chicks? Why is he so weak and moronic he cares more about what other people think than his own satisfaction? Gay behavior. There are men out there dating fricking transsexuals with dozens of surgeries and flaunting them around like shit is ok. At least you'd be dating a real woman. Nothing to be embarrassed of

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Leave her and let her find a real straight man who likes pussy. I'm betting on you being troony attracted

            Most troony chasers are into pre-op troony porn

            >troony obsessed chud entered the thread

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How long have you been with her? I was like that for like 2 months with my first gf at 20, one day I was horny and told her I wanted sex. Couldn't get it up the first time because I was nervous but opening ourselves to the sexual aspect of a relationship really helped.
    You may need your body to relate pleasure with this girl, foreplay should do

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      uh I'd say 3 months but we've known eachother for a about a year

      >You may need your body to relate pleasure with this girl, foreplay should do
      you're right, I already force myself to jerk off solely to her but I'll do that too

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't view her as an object
    We objectify women who are strange and look a "thing" that you want to frick, that's what gets you going
    Your family & relatives never go in the "object" category because you recognize them as people that you love
    The wires get crossed sometimes and maybe she reminded you of your family somehow and that's what you latched on to love her.
    This is why married guys don't really frick this wives violently because they love them and go do dirty acts with strange women, you just have an exaggerated case of that

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That makes a lot of sense actually. I was about to say that it feels almost like thinking about having sex with a member of my family (without having it feel "wrong", just not exciting like thinking about having sex with an "object"). Just didn't say it because I didn't want the rest of the thread to be some weird freudian psychoanalysis. Though I don't think she reminded me of any member of my family (I don't think a single member of my family would even approve of her tbqh) it seems like I consider her to be one already. Thanks a lot for clearing that up anon!

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I don't think a single member of my family would even approve of her tbqh
        what do you mean by this?

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