Lets face it – the male libido is a major obstacle to success and peace of mind. Most threads here and many even on other boards like NSFFW or /misc/ have something to do with sex and relationships. Everyone's obsessed and wasting time just thinking about this, and some more wasting a lot more than that. I will not get castrated for obvious reasons, but I would like to shut down my lust and gain more complete control over myself. Share any tips you got.
My suggestion is to slowly stop fapping, from what i esperienced self pleasure demoralized me a lot, and by stopping it i've become more secure and in general more aware of what i really want from women.
For example when I see a girl it's easyer for me to analize her and to really understand if it's worth to ask her out. It helped me to not be blinded by their appearence.
Try it out
I'm on nofap as of yesterday. I'll try not to do it at all from now on. In my experience, the balls will start aching, presumably because they will be full. Hope it won't cause any issues.
>in general more aware of what i really want from women.
I'm not very interested in relationships, and I deem myself too young and broke to become a father. I really only need to kill the libido (or control it) so my mind doesn't wander and distract me. It happens a lot, and I've already said in the OP how it affects nearly everyone here. Too many hours of a day are spent pondering our sex lives.
Success can allow you to coom into desirable women, prostitutes or not. If I were the kind of man that gets hounded by women and can get it easily and for free, I wouldn't be making this thread. The libido of a lot of men is a self-destructive force because its satisfaction comes at a too great price, and masturbation doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. I don't want to touch myself and when I do go down the coomer rabbit hole, my urges become stronger and stronger until I'm cooming 4+ times per day, and that's kind unmanageable for someone who has more important things to do.
I don't want to lower my testosterone. I'm thinking that mastery over mind is possible and can achieve the same or similar thing.
Here's a video I found that seems interesting. Seems to kind of work.
From my perspective, sex drive is what pushes men to better themselves. To study, work and live better. I think that in order to be our best selves we must use libido in our favor by comprehending it.
My story: i had noticed when I started nofap (like 8 months ago) that I got kind of depressed after jerking off. It was like filling the hole of solitude with myself. It was telling my body through the hormonal responses to cumming that I was enough for myself. By this way i was shutting the door to sex drive, and to the self improvement desire that it gives you.
I'm a student rn, so if I can get food whenever i want, have fun just by opening my phone or hanging out, and have my sexual pulses pleased just by my hand, what desire would push me to better myself? None. I ended up procrastinating, chilling all day and enjoying my shallow life.
If I continued this way, i would've ended up as a underpayed, lifeless coomer in 10 years, so i decided to change.
The core of this response is: i think it's better to control and use our natural drives than to suffocate them.
So if I understood this correctly, nofapping is what got you on the right track?
Not only nofap. I changed many of my habits, and this led to having more time to dedicate to study, music, friends and other things.
I stopped using reels on yt, instagram and tiktok. This saved me at least 2 hours a day
I stopped fapping. This saved me at least 30 minutes a day (searching for the right video and all that stuff built up this amount of time)
I got a better sleep schedule that works for me.
All of these things are helping me a lot. So it's not only about nofap, it' s about making your life harder, so that you're more incentivated to do better. And nofap was a big part of this, becauce gatting off such an addiction was an hard but awarding path.
I've stopped gaming and I've spent my youth in absolute love of it (and in fact I'm trying to get into the development industry), and only still waste time on this website, but mostly looking for threads on sexual matters because it's clearly bugging me. I'm hoping this might be the one that will give me the answers I seek. I feel so close to putting all the puzzle pieces together.
More accurately, I'm on nocoom as of yesterday, and nofap for a while longer. Been to a prostitute and I've had enough spending personal fortunes on quick and simple pleasures.
success is a spook, cooming is a much more sane goal
It's a double edged sword, the hormones that make you horny also help you strive. No balls = no drive.
hey, https://discord.gg/RvKYreJ45V
Wat? Libido isn't an obstacle at all. Wtf are you talking about?
For how much of the day are you horny? Like 30 minutes total? For like 5 minutes after you see a hot girl bend over? Before you rub one out every night? It barely affects your day to day life.
>Most threads here and many even on other boards like NSFFW or /misc/ have something to do with sex and relationships.
Yeah, obviously, feeling horny is part of wanting a relationship, but probably a very small part. The losers he want a qt gf so they can feel accepted, or feel like they have achieved something, or feel normal, or for a while lot of psychological reasons. Removing libido won't suddenly make all the insecurities disappear.
I get what you mean, but I think libido is most of the reason why all these men feel like they need a woman, or at least that's how it seems from my experience because post nut clarity removes any such thoughts and I have learned to dissociate lust from the desire for companionship. What I learned is that I'm really just bothered by the former, and hardly see the point in seeking the latter, but maybe I'm a schizoid and that doesn't apply to most men.
jerk off and get back to work, moron
There are two schools of thought, one is that you should never be around women or touch your penis, EVER! However, this is unrealistic in practice, and leads to people fricking animals as a loophole, etc.
The second way is to acknowledge that sex is an inevitable part of the human condition, and to find ways to work with it to everyone's benefit rather than detriment.
For more just read Lust for Enlightenment.
The absolute state of us. I'm not sure how other introverted non-chads deal with it, because some of them seem to be productive and successful people. Then again, there's a lot of failures among men who end up committing suicide one way or another, so much so that they tip the gender ratio back into majority of women despite the fact that male births are more common. We really need a clear guide on how to live our lives as sexually unsatisfied men.
And thanks for the book suggestion. I'm very interested in the topic.
I'm going the nofap route now. I know it's going to be difficult at first, but I'll remind myself of the possible bliss and peace that I might experience if I push through.
You can read maybe the evergetinos (a few sections are dedicated to this problem) and the saying of the deserts fathers,...
When free you can love more purely, simply, spontaneously and deeply, it's the beginning of spiritualization of life,
religions talk about that. You can read ascetical advices in orthodox ascetical treatises, compilations...
Nofap helps a lot and preserve one peace and energy,etc... The energy needs to be used, the minds needs to be focused on good things, progress,etc...
also, don't listen to fappers and people who say it doesn't affect them.It does, and maybe they think they are normal because they don't know the real normality of being a non-coomer and free from desire. They don't know the preserved energy, focus, ingenuity, confidence, simplicity of mind, pure love,...
What helped me the most is reading and listening about female nature. Read The Manipulated Man, watch Barbarossa and Stardusk videos on youtube. Your attraction will women will likely sharply decrease once you actually understand what they are.
Most people who try to practice celibacy fail because they don't know why they're doing it - when you actually understand how sex and male-female dynamics work you want nothing to do with it.
I read at least half of that Vilar's book and I've been here long enough (and thought as much) to understand it all for most part. I know that our sex dynamics are very one-sided and it doesn't make logical sense to participate in that game (unless you're very desirable or rich, I guess), but sexual urges are too primal to simply delete with this knowledge. I'll admit that I lost the desire for relationships, though, and I'm grateful for that.
I'll check it out. Thanks.
>I read at least half of that Vilar's book and I've been here long enough (and thought as much) to understand it all for most part
Well that's good, means you're much more knowledgeable than most guys here.
>sexual urges are too primal to simply delete with this knowledge
I mean you are always going to have them. You can't remove them, even chemical castration, which decreases them, just makes them less frequent and distracting. You can either try to never act on it when you have the urge, which over time will dissociate the need of a sexual release to alleviate the urges, or just jack off or get a prostitute. Such is the curse of a sexually-reproducing species.