I hate being like this

I am 24 years old, about a year ago I tried having a serious relationship with a man who later turned out to have had a wife I know that time when we were fairly close relationship and even plan to get married. But when I found out he lied, he reasoned that he would divorce his wife, but it turns out his wife was 9 months pregnant, and I get more lies and deception again.

I find it very frustrating and difficult to have confidence with men, especially when discussing a serious relationship stage. I feel I will not be fooled and lied to again. Shadow lies like spinning in my head like a movie even with a different guy who just simply approach. I feel that I would be in circumvention for the umpteenth time.

I tried to open my heart to another man after one year of the incident, but what happens is I just enjoy a phased approach or close friends who tease each other, when people try seriously, I felt very scared and all sorts of nasty shadows return to play in the my mind.

What makes me more frustrated, some of my friends to tell them different experiences when married and divorced because their husbands have changed since the marriage, either because of infidelity, violence or because of incompatibility, and I feel more and more frustrated with their lives. I never thought it would be very difficult, but I feel miserable every time in a relationship that will continue in the serious stage .. and I do not know how long this will continue ..