Is something wrong with me?

I've been married three times. First, to my high school love for 6 years then next to a pen pal for 3 months then last to a man I met at while at work and we were married for 19 years. I left all three and divorced them.

Now, I've been alone for four years and in recovery (alcohol/pills) for almost 3 years. Recently I met a really great guy and we've been dating for about six weeks. He says he's in love with me and I feel the same. However, I'm scared, afraid, terrified and am having trouble letting myself relax and be free in the relationship. It's like I always feel myself pulling back and not getting too too close.

As I write about my past it all seems to make sense that I have fears. I'm tired of messing up relationships and it's hard to trust myself. I really do want to be with him and share a life together.

I relate to many of the stories posted here and I thank you all for sharing.

If anyone has a comment, it will be much appreciated.