Is there a version of Christianity that offers hot women in heaven?

Is there a version of Christianity that offers hot women in heaven?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You‘re stupid. Stupid. Can‘t get laid. Thinks of heaven as worldly. Pussy ass b***h never going to valhall like a real man

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Damn son. You brought the heat of hell to that degenerate homie.

      >fpbp

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Is there a version of Christianity that offers hot women in heaven?
    Yeah, it's called Islam.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      But women don't have equal right under Islam!

  3. 3 weeks ago
    JW on /pol/

    >(Luke 20:34-36) Jesus said to them: “The children of this system of things marry and are given in marriage, 35but those who have been counted worthy of gaining that system of things and the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. 36In fact, neither can they die anymore, for they are like the angels, and they are God’s children by being children of the resurrection.

    >(Matthew 22:30) for in the resurrection neither do men marry nor are women given in marriage, but are as angels in heaven.

    >(Mark 12:25) For when they rise from the dead, neither do men marry nor are women given in marriage, but are as angels in the heavens.

    There is no sex in heaven. There are no female angels and angels don't have sex

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, you're going to get to heaven and there won't be sex anymore, and God will just say "you were supposed to do that down there," which you didn't.

      This, Christianity is explicitly anti-sex and explicitly pro-celibacy.
      MATTHEW 19
      > I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
      >His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
      >But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
      >For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

      1 corinthians 7:1

      >it is good for a man to not have sex with a woman

      • 3 weeks ago
        JW on /pol/

        Not true

        >Proverbs 5:18,19-May your own fountain be blessed, And may you rejoice with the wife of your youth, 19A loving doe, a graceful mountain goat. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times. May you be captivated by her love constantly.

        >Deuteronomy 24:5-“When a man is newly married, he should not serve in the army or be given any other duties. He should remain exempt for one year and stay at home and bring joy to his wife.

        >Ecclesiastes 9:9-Enjoy life with your beloved wife all the days of your futile life, which He has given you under the sun, all the days of your futility, for that is your lot in life and in your hard work at which you toil under the sun.

        >1 Corinthians 7:2-5-2[...]let each man have his own wife and each woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband give to his wife her due, and let the wife also do likewise to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time,...

        >Hebrews 13:4-Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >not true
          >quotes not "son of god" text to refute "son of god text"
          Jesus's and Paul's paraphrasing outranks all of those.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Jesus's red letter statement, the unadulterated word of our holy trumps every wannabe homosexual in the rest of the book.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            *holy God

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Almost like the israelites are trying to exterminate whites.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Except for the fact that he cherry picked a few verses when there are dozens and dozens that say the exact opposite, because context actually fricking matters.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Angels are ai automatons, heaven is being downloaded onto the mantids computer record system

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >There is no sex in heaven

      Then what's the fricking point of heaven?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Have you really never had an experience that was better than sex?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          If an experience better than sex existed, but the one offering it demanded you be chemically castrated in exchange for enjoying it, would you allow yourself to be coerced?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I’m getting a little lost in the analogy here. You ARE going to die. That’s going to happen. There is no more sex for you after that anyways.

            Are you following me on this?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            If Heaven involves bodily resurrection, that would imply I get my sex organs back, too.

            Just make your own heaven, bro.
            Oh wait.

            What is your angle here? Heaven isn’t up to your standards and therefore…?

            If it isn't up to my standards, then it isn't Heaven, but something else. An all powerful, omniscient and benevolent God is capable of making paradise perfect for everyone, including incels. If it isn't up to even a single person's standards, then what is being described is not Heaven.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Quick question, do you think it’s possible you believe in a stupid god? Like your conception of god is stupid so you point and laugh at how stupid it is?

            Or heaven for example, you seem to think (you) define what heaven is. Doesn’t that seem a little silly to you? Why would you get to define the thing you don’t believe in? Seems like an unlovable game since you can just define the thing to be stupid and you have already “won”.

            So I’m curious if you think that might be a possibility here.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You get to bow down at Jesus’ feet for eternity on clouds!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There is sex in hell. Join the other side.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No, you're going to get to heaven and there won't be sex anymore, and God will just say "you were supposed to do that down there," which you didn't.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Okay so remmeber when you stopped thinking pogs or Pokémon or whatever was cool because then veganas were so cool?
    Heavens like that, where forget all about how great slimy holes are and have a new thing to enjoy.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine a child grows up in an abusive household and spends his first 18 years never tasting candy. He becomes a free adult, but upon entering the grocery store, he finds that he is now legally prohibited by decree of the autocratic king from eating candy. When he complains, he is told that candy is a childish pleasure, and that he is an adult. He is threatened with torture and life inprisonment if he refuses to comply. Is this person being deprived of something which is rightfully his? Is this person truly free?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Free to leave, I presume.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He lives under a one world government in this hypothetical scenario. Where does he go?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Who can say? I thinks it’s weird to be so preoccupied with weather or not heaven will be to your tastes. You are going home, where you came from before you incarnated. Where you belong.

            To be crying over not being able to get candy at the candy store well, I think that analogy was pretty well used by you.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            My religion has a place called shoel where everybody goes even goyim.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            To hell because he cannot fathom a world that is just and doesn't let him eat "candy". You could argue that he go many places as this isn't a world that exists.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Who can say? I thinks it’s weird to be so preoccupied with weather or not heaven will be to your tastes. You are going home, where you came from before you incarnated. Where you belong.

            To be crying over not being able to get candy at the candy store well, I think that analogy was pretty well used by you.

            If there is no sex for incels in Heaven, then there is no restitution for incels there. Therefore, it isn't Heaven. If Heaven is paradise, then it is a perfected existence. If it does not include the totality of all positive physical experiences, ALONGSIDE this incorporeal pleasure you argue for, then there is deprivation taking place, and it is not a perfect existence.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Just make your own heaven, bro.
            Oh wait.

            What is your angle here? Heaven isn’t up to your standards and therefore…?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Checked and blessed.

            If heaven isn't a place for restitution.
            Also as I said before my religion has a place called shoel where everybody goes.
            If your interested in wisdom and the arcane read the Bible. Don't attempt to philosophize your way out of humbling yourself to G_d.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There are no husband or wives in heaven you doofus, no genders, no sex, no nothing. You become a celestial being. A creature of pure light and goodness.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't need them, god removes all the sinful woman-loving parts of you so you only derive pleasure from loving him

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Islam; but only if you blow yourself up.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Waiting for heaven for an earthly pleasure is Black person tier.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well said

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In Mormonism your wife or wives are married to you for all eternity in a celestial marriage.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Real Christianity is Gnostic because Jesus was a teacher of gnosis and therefore inclusive of all mystery school teachings. The hieros gamos or sacred union appears in many traditions. Basically, you are married in the higher dimensions to another aspect of your consciousness, just as God is ultimately the unity of two as one in eternal love. As above, so below.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Gay like you

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There are no homosexuals in the higher dimensions. You’re right where you belong, homosexual.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no and you're weak

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    On the contrary. In heaven, men outnumber women 10:1. Very few women make it to the Kingdom of Heaven because God knows that most women will eat the forbidden fruit again if they were allowed back into Eden.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Heaven is a sausage-fest.
      Hell is a Harem.

      I think i'll go commit some sins lmao...

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dude, I had a dream on time, where I was in a place full of skateboarders. Everything was about skateboarding, shopping centers, stores, etc. You could skate everywhere, you would fall and it wouldn't hurt, and it was kinda floaty, so the tricks were easier to do. It saw only males, and everybody had this sense of a brotherhood and friendship, idk... Was a glimpse of heaveb, bros?

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Christianity doesn't offer women in life nor in heaven. Christianity promotes celibacy.
    Weak religion for effeminate cucks.
    Join Islam to get a hot 14 years old wife and 77 virgins after you die.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah God promises us sex in heaven a lot. I think the truth is, we would just kill ourselves if he said we wouldn't get to do it. When we're in our 30s, apparently our smv goes up. So this is like an easy way to lie to us and say we went to heaven in our 30s. Even though everyone else I know just did it normally.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In Heavan you get hot chicks delivered to your door. They're like sex angles God created just for all the good people. They'll do anything you want and you don't even need to talk to them or make them breakfast in the morning. And they all know the Kama Sutra.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There's hot women on earth and it already feels like hell. Just jack off and be an atheist.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      or rape women, kill them afterwards so they go to heaven where you can rape them again. That's what all women deserve and crave and love afterall. If god disagrees, then why did he create women to love being raped? What a weirdo. God's not real, rape women and kill Black folk.
      xoxo - me

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Islam is the only truth now. Just stop coping and convert.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    sexuality is our beast side, in heaven we are no longer beasts with flesh

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